16
The tavern was much more raucous than it had been the night before, almost filled to capacity with the town’s residents and Gerard’s pack of professional zombies. Maybe it was Antellion’s version of the weekend. The townsfolk didn’t seem bothered by the undead creatures at all, even interacting with them with as much enthusiasm as they did each other. Almost. The zombies that were incapable of speech seemed to mostly wander aimlessly about on their own, unattended though mostly harmless. Pamela was working her zombie kung-fu magic as she wove through the crowd, tottering and weaving her way from table to table. I noticed the bartender was on duty for the first time; he was a jolly, pudgy gnome with an extravagant black drooping mustache. When he spoke, his moustache bobbed up and down, and he reminded me of a happy little walrus. His name was Selwyn, and seemed to be walking on some type of platform behind the bar that compensated for his diminutive size.
Spade’s rest seemed mostly populated by humans and gnomes, I’d noticed. Only Charles the ginger cat guy was of a more exotic species. I wondered if there was some cultural link between humans and gnomes in Antellion that I hadn’t yet discovered. There was so much to learn about this land. I tried to imagine the vastness of the planet itself; an entire world designed to accommodate a fantasy game. If it held all the requisite exotic locations and amazing feats of construction, it was sure to be jaw-dropping. The sheer audacity to attempt such a feat was, to me, absolutely staggering. I couldn’t conceive of the type of society or culture that could accomplish something like this. It was simply amazing. And monstrous, once you understood what lay beneath the beautiful facade. I didn’t know whether to be furious or stupified by its scope.
Looking around at these people, boisterous and drunk; mostly happy and content in the lives they’d created for themselves in this strange, beautiful, horrific world, I was deeply torn. Could you find happiness under these insane circumstances? No one here was wringing their hands or cursing the gods, though I suspect that was only a matter of time. Did this world deserve to be torn down like a broken amusement park, or made free, cherished and protected? It was the concept that needed to be torn down; it was the people who needed to be protected. I didn’t have the capacity for either, not now. Probably not ever. I told myself I could only affect what was around me. I did have the capacity to do that. Regardless of their place in this, I could help these people right here, right now. I might be railroaded into crazy violence, but at least it was the right kind of violence.
What was it the old isolationist Americans had said? Or was it Nietzsche? Don’t go seeking monsters to slay, lest you become one? I figured that was mostly true. Mostly. There were, unfortunately, times where a monster was exactly what was needed. That’s what Luck is for, I thought. To be that particular kind of monster.
I dropped out of my contemplative musings as I approached the bar and saw Gerard and Lily were seated much as they had been when I met them, but for the plates of mostly-eaten food in front of them. It looked to be roasted vegetables and some type of meat I suspected was mutton. I’d find out soon enough. I was starving. Gerard seemed to be finished his meal, and he gently pushed it towards Selwyn as I arrived at his side.
He lit a cigarette with his little finger-flame and took a long pull, the ember flaring up. He exhaled slowly, and I saw Lily look up from her meal. She eyed me.
“You’re alive, godling,” she said, feigning surprise.
“Hey Lily. Are you done eating?” I asked her. She raised a brow.
“Not quite,” she said suspiciously, gesturing to her food.
“That’s a pity,” I said with a thin, vengeful smile. I lifted a hand and held it palm down over the space just north of her plate. I started dropping goblin ears out of my inventory like it was raining bloody halloween props. The pointed green ears made a little pile, and as the last ear, that of the Lyena fell atop it, it toppled sideways right onto Lily’s plate. Oops.
“Veilark’s hairy balls,” she said in disgust, and prodded at the ear with her fork before she dropped the utensil atop the plate and pushed the meal aside. She looked at the little pile of mottled green ears with distaste. “Was that really necessary, Luck?”
“Oh, sorry,” I said. I didn’t mean it. “Next time ask for left shoes or something.” She eyed the severed ears for a moment and sighed.
“I count seven,” she said, then curled her lip and gestured at the Lyena ear. “It seems as though the goblins have indeed begun to come our way. And this. Did you kill a puppy, godling?”
My mouth became a flat line. “A puppy the size of a god-damned pony. Did you know goblins had pets? I expect a glowing recommendation for membership in the Adventurer’s Guild, Lily.”
“Aye, you’ll have it. Provided you get these things out of my face,” she said. I raised a brow.
“What do you want me to do with them, exactly? I feel like it would stink if I threw them in the fire,” I said matter-of-factly. Gerard spoke up as he exhaled another stream of smoke up towards the ceiling.
“I believe I can handle that,” he said helpfully. He turned, “Stellah dear, be a peach and hand these out to the crew. You can give the dog ear to Richard, he’s partial to furry flesh,” he said and casually gathered up the ears. “I think he likes how it tickles his tummy.” He continued until he had the lot of them, then dropped the grisly trophies into the zombie woman’s cupped hands. She promptly began shuffling about, offering a little green ear to each of the zombies in the tavern. I could hear more than one of them groan in pleasure as they popped the things into their mouths.
“Well that’s handy,” I said as I watched in mild fascination. I found myself wondering about the texture of their morsels before my stomach turned. I felt like it would be something akin to what some people called ‘gristle.’ My grandpa used to gobble that shit up. He was a hardcore dude, my grandpa. In various ways. Most were unpleasant. Anyway, it was gross.
Lily rummaged in a pouch at her side and handed me a rolled piece of parchment stamped with a wax seal. The image on the seal matched the icon that appeared next to her name in the HUD, marking her as a Guild Representative, the quill and sword.
Quest complete. You’ve received a common chest! You’ve received an Uncommon Chest! You’ve received 100 gold pieces. +50 Faction Points with the United Antellion Adventurer’s guild.
“After we’ve concluded our…business here with the goblins, take that to Eredal at the Adventurer’s Guild in Estaren. He’s the Guild Leader there, and he’ll get you signed up,” she said, almost kindly. Kindly for her, I guessed. “If you live, that is.” There she was. That was the Lily I knew. “I’ve explained in that letter that you’re one of the godings. Your kind may be regarded with wariness by some folk, but I’m told you also bring special benefits to the Guild. Every chapter of the Guild will be seeking out the Unproven so their members can access the dungeons, and the wealth within.” This was easily the most I’d heard Quicklily speak yet. It was like I’d unlocked conditions for her to reveal more information by completing the quest. She didn’t seem any different, but I wondered if that was her talking, or the World Spell. I suddenly heard the piano flourish that always came with a particular kind of notification. There it is, I thought.
You’ve received a quest: No More Playing With Yourself!
If you don’t make some friends, you’re going to end up like that kid Nathan from high school who spent every lunch hour eating alone in a graffiti-filled bathroom stall. At least he ended up with Sarah Erikson’s phone number. I like to imagine that Nathan and Sarah fell in love and were happily married, and Nathan was able to enjoy the fulfilling life he was denied in the cut throat world of secondary school. Everyone likes a happy ending. Anyway, it’s time to join the Adventurer’s Guild!
The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
Visit the Adventurer’s Guild chapter in the city of Estaren and present Quicklily’s letter to Guildmaster Eredal. Sign your name to the lists and prepare to join adventurers of Feyhold, as well as your brothers and sisters alike in group and dungeon-based quests.
Note:This quest requires you to have chosen a class specialisation. You do not currently meet this requirement. Completion of this quest will result in the following rewards:
* 1 common chest
* 1 Recruit’s Welcome Package
My attention was pulled back away from the quest text as it faded as Lily went on. “I never partied with one of your kind, so I don’t know what those benefits are, but I do know that no one can enter a Dungeon unless one of the Unproven has unlocked it by entering first. Sometimes it requires more than one of your kind, sometimes many more. After they’ve been unlocked, anyone can enter. Anyone,” she repeated, emphasizing the last word. She prodded her plate with distaste, and ordered a tankard of ale before she continued. “Once a godling enters, a timer begins counting down. We see it as glowing numbers, just hovering there in the air above the entrance, ticking down. The dungeon must be cleared within that time frame; all creatures on all floors, including the Chosen and the Floor Bosses need to be killed, or all objectives need to be met. Sometimes killing isn’t the only thing required.”
I was parsing this information as I listened. “What happens if the timer runs out?” I asked, getting a sinking feeling. I already knew the answer was nothing good.
Lily regarded me, and for a moment her eyes seemed to go far away, and for the briefest instant there was quiet sadness there. It was gone as fast as it’d come, but I’d caught it, and she knew I did. She was quieter when she replied, less of her characteristic surliness seeping into her words. “If the timer runs down, a Dread from the Fel is summoned, often a more fearsome version of the final floor Boss. A bloody nightmare, summoned right to the city, or wherever the dungeon is. Right atop it.”
I raised an eyebrow, latent anxiety creeping in slowly. World bosses. “Is a Dread what I think it is? Like, a crazy powerful monstrosity that requires dozens of people to kill?” I asked, my heart picking up speed. If these things were anything like their video game counterparts, they would be rampaging beasts that would require the skill and coordination of a huge group of adventurers to bring down. In games, it was usually something insanely tough, but it usually dropped good loot. Sometimes you would receive a unique title or an achievement with a special reward for defeating it. These were, of course, the digital versions. I suspected the rewards would be the very least of my worries when facing their real life equivalents.
“It’s exactly that. If no one kills the bloody things, they rampage for days before they wander off on their own. Cities have fallen to them. Thousands dead,” she replied grimly.
“What happens if no players, er, Unproven, arrive to unlock the dungeon?” I asked warily.
“Each dungeon is dedicated to a god. Clearing the dungeon is seen as a way to honour that god. Leaving it idle and unanswered is considered an insult, and after a time it’s likely to incur their wrath. They may make their displeasure known to the nearby residents in any number of ways, including summoning the World Boss. If it’s a small settlement or a more remote location, these things can just end up wandering the countryside, terrorising anyone or anything they come across.”
“Jesus,” I said. “We’re all just toys for their pet Godzillas to smash. These fucking gods are insane,” I said, curling my lip in disgust. Lily took a drink and looked at me flatly.
“All gods are insane, lad.” I stared at her for a moment, then sighed.
“You’ll get no argument from me,” I said wearily. “All the ones I’ve met are assholes.” She simply nodded grimly in answer and went on.
“It’s been ten years since the last time the gods last dumped their foul game on us, but I’d imagine the guild, and the city, are already ramping up for the opening of the first Dungeons. The proclamation from the Godhead may only be a day old, but the game becomes an industry the moment it’s announced. Adventurers and godlings alike flock to the larger settlements, and so do the merchants. There’s gold to be made on all sides. Lots of gold. Do not doubt the greed of the city folk in this regard. Every adventurer is an opportunity when the game arrives.”
Her ale arrived a moment later and she took a long pull, then wiped the foam from her lip. “Once you’re signed up, you can specify your skills and put yourself on the Lists. That’s how you find a party, unless you’ve already formed one. The dungeons aren’t the only thing you can accomplish with a good party; plenty of quests will start popping up at the Guild, from all corners, and those need doing too. That’s what I did, during the last run. It’s a good way to build up strength if you’re not ready for a dungeon yet, and a good way to help out the locals. Mostly. Just be careful you don’t wait too long before entering the dungeon. The gods are bloody fickle, as I think you’ve come to understand.”
“That’s fair to say,” I remarked dryly. I stopped Selwyn on his way past and ordered the same thing Gerard and Lily had eaten. The smell of food was driving me crazy. “So, you helped to clear the dungeons? What about you, Gerard?” I asked curiously, looking between them. Lily answered for them both.
“Gerard was too young during the last game, just an apprentice. A pompous, scrawny little shit too,” she said thinly, giving him a knowing look. He only smirked and pretended not to hear her, idly taking a drag of his cigarette. He let her go on uninterrupted. “I did enter a dungeon, yes. Just once. I was recruited by a group of local adventurers, friends from the guild.There were no Unproven among us, but we went in for a battle with a Floor Guardian. We had a solid team; one of the best tanks on the lists, and a cleric of Illuma that was ranked third among her peers. I thought I was pretty good, too. Not good enough.” She sighed a long sigh then, and looked down at her hands, studying the lines of her palms. Looking for answers, I knew. I did the same thing, sometimes. The answers were never there.
“We were almost done. So gods-damned close. Five seconds would have been enough. The count of bloody five,” she said bitterly. “The fucking horror’s Berserk timer triggered, just at the precipice of death. Berserk is exactly what it sounds like, a sudden, surging rage that strengthens the creature to near double what it was. It’s a nightmare that turns everything on its head in a moment; some trick the gods use to punish those who drag out the fight past the point of their divine tolerance. Well, we went beyond what they considered reasonable. Only, just. The time came, and the thing went mad. We lost four friends in as many seconds. Good people. Gone. Splattered on a dungeon wall. Ten went in, six came out.” She looked up at me, and her green eyes were dull and sad. “That’s how quick it can turn, lad. You can blink and people are dead.”
She blinked herself, then, and the hardness returned to her eyes, the vulnerability once again tucked safely behind imaginary walls. “We won, you know. Powered through the berserk and finished it. We killed the bastard, cleared the floor and opened up the next. People acted so happy, so relieved, as though four dead was a fine outcome. It was progression. Sad, yes, but acceptable. So, we had won. Only, winning felt like shit,” she spat. “Winning felt a whole lot like fucking losing. Losing bad.” She looked at me again, her gaze hard and piercing. “I’ve never hated the gods more than when I saw people celebrating us making it to the next floor. It seemed like such a gods-damned joke. There we were, smiling and laughing while we danced at the ends of our puppet strings. Fucking fools in a mad court. And aye, I know some of the fools were just relieved that we had a better chance; that we were less likely to fight something from the Fel. That more of us would live. I didn’t care, the gods had taken from me. It was my world that was broken. Fuck everything else. Those were my friends. My friends.” She said the last through gritted teeth, with barely suppressed rage. “I never went near another dungeon, and I never will. I won’t give the mad bastards the satisfaction of dancing to their tune,” she finished and sat back, visibly taking a long breath, the tension partially draining from her body.
I watched her, empathising, but unsure of what to say. I wanted to agree. I did agree, but I didn’t have the luxury of choosing one way or another. Unfortunately, neither did she. Not really. We’re still dancing, Lily, I thought sadly, looking over at the two quest timers that hung at the right of my screen, ticking down. It’s just a different song.
“You know I’ll be going whether I like it or not,” I said soberly, looking between Gerard and Lily. Selwyn had just brought me my food and I let it sit there, steaming. “I have someone I need to get home to, no matter what,” I said. “No matter what,” I repeated. “The way home is straight through this bullshit, so off I’ll go, dancing to their tune all the while.” I sighed and poked at a quartered potato before I speared it and took a bite, talking around the food. “But before I go near any dungeon, I need to help you two to keep these people from ending up on some goblin’s plate.” I prodded at my meat pointedly. “To do that, I need to get stronger. To get stronger, I need a favour from both of you,” I said, looking between them.
“And what’s that?” Gerard asked, raising a brow.
“I need you to teach me magic.”