I have nowhere to go. Everywhere, there's the chance I'll run into someone I know. RWBY uses the library in their free time; Nikos and Arc have laid claim to the roof above our dormitories; and CFVY haunts the training rooms like the restless dead.

I finally end up on the cliffs above the forest where they threw us away on our first day, lying on the grass, staring up at the stars. These aren't the stars I'm used to. Why did I come here? I thought I could leave it behind, that's why. I thought I could forget.

I've been there for five minutes when I hear footsteps and the distinctive muted clanking of Cardin's armour behind me. We're really screwed if we ever need to be stealthy. He comes, and sits down beside me, then to my surprise I hear him start to unbuckle his armour. Then he lies back and it's just the sound of our breathing. I start to gather my irritation to throw at him as a counter to whatever he has to say, but he doesn't say anything. After a moment, I lose my grip on my anger and it runs away from me.

For almost an hour, we stay there in total silence. It's an experience of perfect stillness. I expect him to get bored, but he doesn't shift, or fidget, or say a word. His breathing is so deep and even that eventually I take a peek at him, just to make sure he's still awake. He's piled his armour up and leaned back against it and his eyes are reflecting the starlight above. The world has crystallised around us, blocking out time itself. It's a moment that feels like it has no beginning and no end: just us, lying on the grass, staring up at the stars.

'You know people used to tell stories about the stars?' I say finally. I don't feel like I'm breaking the spell. I feel like my words will hang here, even after I'm gone, so that someone who comes along andknows how to hear them will hear what I have to say, in years to come. That is eternity.

'No.'

'Yeah. Not in cities, in places where there weren't roads. Where they actually used the stars to travel by.'

'Do you know any?'

'No. Violet did.' It feels right to be talking about her out here. In our room, full of colour and energy and life, it didn't feel right. Out here, it's just the stars above us. They're the only pinpricks of light in the darkness. It feels right to be looking at them as I talk about her.

'You said she grew up in a settlement.' Cardin's voice is so natural. I marvel at it for a moment.

'You know what's weird?' I say. 'I don't want to talk about Violet.'

'I'm sorry, I-'

'No, I wasn't being sarcastic.' Though I guess since I do basically have one tone of voice he can be forgiven for thinking I was. 'But that's the reason I came here. I lied to you guys, that first day. I came here because if I was here, I could pretend that she was still alive.'

I take a moment to try to organise my thoughts, but then I realise that that's the problem. In organizing my thoughts, I select them, I examine them, I prune and clip and choose until what's come out isn't even what I wanted to say. This isn't intellect, or only barely. This is emotion and memory. I can't organise this.

'Right after it happened,' I say, 'I couldn't bring myself to talk about her. I couldn't stand it. I didn't want to talk about her to anyone. People would approach me to see if I was ok, and I would just brush them off. Sometimes I would actually change direction. Because if they weren't asking me if I was ok with her death, I could pretend ithadn't even happened. That's when I decided to come here. Nobody knew about her. I could pretend she was still here, just not here.'

Cardin doesn't say anything.

'Then I started picking fights. I'd spar with people, and I'd take it too far, or I'd get frustrated at nothing at all and lose my mind. It was like I was on fire, and all these people were around me, but they were too dumb to realise I needed water. I got my ass kicked a couple of times.'

'I know the feeling,' Cardin says quietly.

This is too serious to pretend he's talking about getting his ass kicked, though for a moment I'm sorely tempted. 'Do you?'

'Yeah. It isn't comfortable.'

That's actually the perfect word to describe it, that sense of itching, constant rage. 'I don't know how you dealt with it. I just kept beating people up or getting my ass handed to me. Eventually I thought that maybe if I became a better fighter, I would get Violet back. Like a reward, you know? It was - dumb. She was gone, she was never coming back, but I couldn't help but think that there was someone out there I could bargain with, someone out there who could bring her back. We've got people with Semblances who can blow things up with their mind, why wasn't there someone out there who could bring her back. That shit. So I'd become a great Hunter and find them. I ended up convincing myself that Beacon would be different, that it was full of people who were better than Recluse and Solitaire. It's the best of the best, you know? It would have people who were better.

'Then I met you guys.' I sigh. 'No offence. You guys were normal. You were fine. But you were just like all the other jocks back at Recluse. You were all interested in fighting and being in charge and being immature idiots and pulling pranks and - it was like everything was crumbling. I couldn't even care. Everything was gone. So that'swhy I've been a grumpy asshole. I couldn't imagine anything getting better. Except… It kind of has.'

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

We lie there in silence for five minutes before Cardin clears his throat. 'You're saying things have gotten better?'

'Yeah, man. I woke up happy the other day, actually happy, and it felt wrong, and I realised it's because for the first time since I got here, being happy didn't make me feel guilty. And it was such a relief . I don't want to talk about Violet anymore. She's dead, and I'll never know why, and - you know what I just realised? I'm bored with being sad that she's dead. I still love her, and I'm going to miss her forever and part of me is always going to wonder about her, and about what I could have done and about what we could have been, but another part of me just wants to be happy. I just want to wake up one day without feeling like I'm weighed down. Being how I was is - it's fucking exhausting. I can't do it anymore. And - I think I'm ok with that. I think that's me telling myself that it's ok to move on.'

'You've accepted it.'

'Yeah, kind of. More I've realised that I'm not a bad person for accepting it.' I breathe out, a long, slow exhale. 'Thanks, man.'

'For what?' He sounds genuinely surprised and a surge of warmth rises in my chest.

'For listening, you moron.' I hear him chuckle and I add, 'Seriously, thanks.'

It's getting cold but neither of us moves. There's more to be said here, and not all by me.

'I don't-' he begins, then trails off. 'It's not like… Fuck.'

'Just roll with it,' I advise. 'I'm not going to tell you you're using the wrong words, man.'

He exhales. 'I don't even have anything wrong, though. I mean, not like you. Nobody ever died.'

'So that means you've never been sad?' I ask. 'There's no sliding scale of shitty things, not when you're experiencing them. Everything feels pretty shitty when it's happening to you.'

Cardin laughs bitterly. 'But that's the thing. Nothing ever happened to me. It's all just - it's all just people. I mean, I hear stories like yours, and I think - nothing like that ever happened to me. There's no one thing I can point to. How can I say that I haven't been happy?'

'Have you?'

I worry that I said it too bluntly. Cardin doesn't reply for almost three full minutes. Then, finally, with an air of surprise, he says, 'No.'

This time I stay quiet. Cardin responds best to direct pressures, but there are exceptions to every rule and this is one of them.

'I am so, so scared,' he says quietly, 'of turning out like my father.'

I feel my ears prick up. Cardin doesn't talk about his family, but none of us really do. It just doesn't come up. I think Dove and Sky might know more about each other's families - which makes a lot more sense, actually, now that I know they're a couple - but that's just an impression. Now I wonder if Cardin and I aren't the only ones who are carrying baggage.

'He's a powerful man, in a sort of quiet way,' Cardin says. 'He owns stores. Shops. I think Dove's mum might work for him, in fact, or lease from him, or get her supplies from him, or something. He owns chains of stores. One of his party tricks is talking to people who don't know him. They'll underestimate him, and condescend to him, and then he'll arrange for someone to go and tell them who they were talking to, just to see the looks on their faces. And then he'll do - something. Something to get back at them. Usually something todestroy them. He's got so much power. Everywhere. He's - immense.'

He takes a deep breath. 'He's also just - such a bastard.'

'You can't have any power around him. He won't allow it. It's not enough for him to be the strongest - he has to be the only one. You can't make anything or build anything for yourself, because he'll crush it, and then he'll dole out the crumbs back to you.

'My father has so much power,' Cardin said. 'But he gets it from taking it from other people. He'll make the decisions for you, he won't advise, he'll just - take over completely. My mother left when I was ten. She was the only one who ever won against him. He tried to get her committed to a mental asylum for five years for it. I don't know where she is now. She had to go into hiding to get away from him. I think he's still looking. My stepmother doesn't care. That's who she is. And I'm afraid that he's who I'm turning into - because how else do you get strong? I don't know how to get strong without making everyone around me weak. I push people around without even thinking about it, then I realise what I've done, but by then it's too late. And - that's my Semblance. My Semblance attacks people so that I have the advantage. It doesn't give me anything, it takes away from everyone else. What does that even say about me, that that's who I am?'

'You won't turn into your dad,' I say with certainty.

'You don't know that.'

'You do. You're aware of this, man, you're fighting it. You're already not like your dad.'

'You can't know that!' he yelled in sudden anger.

'Yeah, I can,' I say, keeping calm. 'You think your dad would have come out here to freeze his ass off for some mopey idiot? You think your dad would have let me talk for ten minutes straight? Youshouldn't be afraid of turning into your dad. I mean, if nothing else, you've got your mum.'

'No I don't, I don't know where she is-'

'But you know that she is. You're so afraid of his blood, remember hers. She beat him, you said so yourself, and she did it without hurting him. You've done the same thing, man. You're here. Anything you build here, everyone will know you built yourself. Your dad has nothing to do with you being a Hunter. That's all you. That's how you'll beat him: by doing what you want to do and doing it well.'

'But I'm not even a good Hunter,' Cardin says bitterly.

'Bullshit,' I say with spirit. 'You got in, didn't you? You wipe the floor with everyone you go up against, except Pyrrha Nikos, who, hot tip, nobody has beaten. You're a great Hunter, and you're gonna get better. You can train for that. And you can train to be a better person, too, man. I'll help,' I add impulsively.

He looks at me with real gratitude on his face. 'Thanks, man.'

We don't lie back again this time. We've said what needs to be said. We get to our feet and walk back to the school, carrying Cardin's armour between us. As we enter the doors, we pass Ozpin, walking down a corridor with Goodwitch in tow. He gives us a knowing smile and doesn't stop to talk.

'Bloody hell,' I mutter. 'Does he have this place bugged?'

'Hmm?' Cardin asks, juggling his greaves and his breastplate.

I tell him about the conversation Ozpin and I had, when he revealed what my headmistress had told him. As I finish my story, Cardin stops dead. 'He did the same thing with me when I lost my temper with Dove in our room a couple of weeks ago,' he says in an odd voice.

We stand there and stare at each other.

'Bloody hell,' I say again. 'I'm checking the room for cameras when we get back.'

'I'll help.'