I woke up to a slap in the face, and not the good kind.

This wasn't Mistress Pain's Chamber of Pleasure.

This hand was big, rough and calloused. Like the hand of a gorilla locked in captivity who has nothing to do but spend the day jerking off. In all likelihood, not all that different from this bozo.

My face stung and I opened my eyes to see the buster who slapped a guy whose arms and legs were tied to a chair, but I was blindfolded.

It seemed like overkill for one guy, or maybe they thought it was just the right amount of kill for what was coming next.

I tried to breathe, but my nose, broken no doubt, was full of blood and smashed cartilage, whilst my mouth was covered in duct tape. I surmised it must have been new, or else I would have suffocated. Or, at least I would have if I wasn't suffocating.

I shook my head and moaned, my brain throbbing at every move, but oxygen trumps brain damage every time.

I pulled against my restraints, but the ropes didn't budge and the chair didn't move. Bolted down, probably. There are only so many reasons for that. None good, Mistress Pain, excluded.

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"Show our guest some hospitality", came a voice that echoed through the space, a warehouse most likely. I knew then I was up shit creek without a toilet roll.

The tape was ripped off my mouth and nearly snapped my neck in the process. As soon as my mouth could open I involuntarily spat a mouthful of blood and saliva onto the floor.

"Oh, you fuc--"

"Now, now, manners, please," came the voice again.

I heard the gorilla next to me grumble as I gasped for air, and realised I must have spat up all over his shoes, which was more than a little amusing.

Then all was silent, except for a single set of footsteps echoing through the empty hall.

They were slow, yet methodical and deliberate. Not the uneven clunking steps of a hired goon, these were the steps of a man with patience and a functioning medulla oblongata.

In short, he was a civilised man. And there is nothing more dangerous than a civilised man.

The steps stopped right in front of me. I thought of launching another mouthful in his general direction, but he would be more disappointed than offended, and this was not a man you wanted to disappoint.

The blindfold was pulled off over my head without being loosened, and I was sure I had a new bald patch somewhere up there.

It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to my surroundings, which felt abnormally bright.

In front, I could see the outline of a thin, elegant man. Though he was still a blur I knew he was impeccably dressed with shoes that cost more than my car.

"Hello, Mr Jerk", he said, as if this were a bank manager, "long time no see."