They say that when you gaze into an abyss that it will gaze back into you, but I’ve been gazing into the empty abyss that the Earth has become for what feels like an eternity now, and yet nothing’s changed, and no one’s emerged or called out to me.
Dust, ash, soot, and grime. Piles of the stuff sit high all around me in place of the buildings, plants, animals, and people they once were, looming over me as a constant reminder that I am alone save for the cold wind that slowly moves these insufferable piles beneath the muddy monotonous sky.
The wind. The only thing other than me that hasn’t yet died, and like me, I don’t know why. I turn my tired, dust stung eyes skyward and find the abomination that the sun has become still glaring down at me from the heavens. Its once bright body is now divided into three. An external black shell so dark and still I wonder how I can tell it apart from the void of space. An intermediary gray ring that churns and swirls as if it were alive. And a brilliant white core that is infinitely harder to look at than the sun once was.
Before I found myself alone it was the same luminous sphere we all acknowledged but ignored and took for granted. I don’t rightly remember what day or year it happened, but once it changed into what it is now, that’s when everything quietly crumbled away and ceased to be. All except me, and the winds it still somehow produces.
And since then I’ve wandered this waste. It’s not hard, since I’m devoid of hunger, thirst, or any other bodily need that I once knew, but only now recall as faint memories. At first I hoped that somewhere I’d find someone or something, no matter how small or insignificant. Maybe if I was lucky God would come down and explain what this is all about, or maybe he’d send an angel at least. But no matter how long I looked or how many empty ocean beds I traversed or devoid continents I searched, I never found a sign of anyone, or anything beyond more dust. As for God, I imagine he left me here for whatever reason, perhaps as punishment for some sin I can no longer recall… Though, to be fair, I don’t remember much anymore. Then again, maybe that’s a punishment too, or maybe a mercy. All I know is that this isn’t how I thought the rapture would go, assuming that that is what happened.
But here I am, having a conversation in my head, pretending that I’m not alone so that I don’t go insane, and explaining my situation for the umpteenth time so that I don’t forget it too, as I search the last hills of dust, ash, soot, and grime, powered only by the dwindling dregs of hope that have somehow sustained me thus far.
I dig.
I dig, and dig.
I dig, and dig, and dig some more.
This is the last dune I need to search. Sure the wind enjoys making my meager existence difficult by moving them around, but I’ve kept track, and this is the last spot in the entire world left for me to search… But that’s irrelevant. For there is nothing in this hole I’ve dug. Nothing but me.
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“Just as I suspected.”
Like a long running engine that had finally burnt out, I was suddenly tired for the first time in forever. I rest my weary body against the soft wall of the several foot deep pit I’ve dug and close my tired, dust stung, eyes. I haven’t dreamed in an eternity, but I feel one coming on, I remember the sensation. Somehow.
Vaguely at first, then all at once. Knowledge and memory fill my empty head, shock my senses, but don’t stir me awake. Rather, I don’t think I can wake up, not sure why I’d want to, there’s nothing out there, and I’ve found so much in here that I’d much prefer to explore this new dream world than return to my bleak existence.
But what do I make of this?
There’s so much here. Far more than I could’ve possibly learned or seen in one lifetime. There’s no way I alone was able to gather so much information, I somehow know that, but here it is all the same, practically begging me to do something with it.
What a strange dream.
But I’m so excited!
I heedlessly grab the colors and shapes and textures and smells and tastes and swirl them around and mold them like so much clay. The splat and crunch, grind and squish within my imaginary fingers is nothing short of delightful. And these results are even more so. So I spread them out into a landscape all around me.
I place trees with purple leaves, blue bushes with ripe rich fiery colored fruit, sheer metallic mountains, and deep transparent seas with rainbow spotted coral. I couldn’t bear to change the sky from blue or the grass from green, that would be too alien and uncomfortable, but I made them richer and more vibrantly colored, as if the sky and grass I once knew were seen through a dark filter.
“That’ll do.”
Then I take the memory of humanity, set part of it free into the world as is, and then twist the rest. Dyeing it in the new colors of this changed landscape I’ve created. Some grow wings, the tails and ears of animals, or get short or very tall. Some are lithe and pretty, others are burly and strong, I don’t get too picky with this part and let each form on its own until it feels right, then I set them free as well.
I do much the same with my memory of animals and churn out several new and strange creatures that dart across the ground and through the air and sea. I try to capture their fresh, majestic, and sometimes unnerving forms in my memory, but my awareness grew hazy and they quickly darted away before I could take them in and appreciate what I’d made.
“Oh well.”
I shrug and sit down in the shade of one of my purple-leaved trees. I can tell my dream is coming to an end, and that a deeper sleep is creeping up on me to carry me off into darkness and oblivion. I wither a little at the thought that my brief freedom will soon end, and wish that I could’ve played longer.
“Played? Like a game? When was the last time I played a game?”
Yeah. A video game. The memory of all those systems and powers came to me, and I smiled. To play one of those again would’ve been nice. But hey, maybe when I wake up another eternity will have passed, and new life will cover the barren Earth… Maybe they’ll have invented new games and I can play one… Maybe the sun will be back to normal too… .
Maybe…
Maybe… .