I had a long time to think and process what had happened. It might actually be more accurate to say that I had a very long time to think. Generally in all of those reincarnation stories the main character starts off in one of a few ways. Most of the time they are given their bodies from their old world. Very practical if you're young, but not so much if you're older. In other stories, they hit their head after they have grown up a bit and regain the memories from their old life. Some of them become monsters or dungeon masters. Every now and then they come into consciousness while being held in their mother's arms right after being born. Obviously, for such an incompetent and sadistic goddess like the one in charge of me, convenient options like that are simply out of the question. and with so much time on my hands, I was eventually able to come to terms with my situation.
The first thing I realized was that the world around me was warm and comfortable. I could stay curled up in a ball for as long as I wanted. Being unable to breathe took some getting used to though. Unfortunately for me, after just a short while of being trapped in one place with no way to escape, that comfortableness seemed like a distant memory.
For a person like me that was used to always having a limitless amount of distractions just a few feet from where they sleep, sitting still quickly became monotonous. Hours turned to days, days turned into weeks. The only sensations I had were touch and a sense of gravity. Eventually, my hearing began to return and the grasp I had on my circumstances became firmer. I was stuck in a womb. It was hard to say at what point in the gestation process I became aware, but I really did have a very very long time to think.
It was hard to regret the life I had lived before. Every day was comfortable and thanks to modern technology there was an endless stream of distractions. Some people might describe spending years immersed in your hobbies as "fulfilling". However, I would have to strongly disagree with them since none of my pastimes were even mildly productive. It would be one thing if I was incredibly good at anything I did or found a way to make money off of my endless free time, but I really did just sit around jerking off all day, both metaphorically and literally.
The tedium from my new incarceration kept growing and more intrusive thoughts emerged one by one. I began to ruminate on theories like "Am I being punished for living such a useless life?" or "Maybe this really was hell all along". More and more negative assumptions piled up.
I mean come the fuck on, a god can't possibly be so dumb as to put a fully functioning consciousness into a literal fetus on accident right?
Regardless all I could do was sit there, wait, think about the sins of my past life, think about what I would do differently in the next, and most of all, think of how it's possible I managed to remain a virgin for over 2000 years.
It just isn't possible.
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The day of reckoning finally came. I wasn't sure how I knew, but it was finally time to be born. I flipped myself around, did what I could to manage the umbilical cord with the little strength I had, and waited for my new mom to do the rest of the work. After spending an eternity imprisoned I would finally be free. My pulse quickened as screams of agony began to reverberate through my chamber. The long awaited moment arrived, but one of my worst fears was set in motion as the pressure pushing on my body grew. My head was not small enough to fit through the opening. Knowing that it's fine for a baby's head to deform during birth doesn't do anything to mitigate the awful feeling of your skull being slowly smashed. With every ounce of my being, I pushed against the walls to make it end even a second sooner.
With one final jolt, I escaped my confinement and was rewarded with my first breath of fresh air. While being picked up by hands nearly the size of my torso, freezing wind streaked across my skin. I never thought I would be so happy for warmth to be sapped from my body. Despite the stinging sensation, I did my best to open my eyes but could only make out the vague shapes of my surroundings. As slime was wiped off, my focus turned to the sounds of the people who prattled on around me. It was difficult to tell before now, but the language being spoken wasn't like anything I had heard before. After being wrapped in a blanket and passed around a few times I was at last placed in the arms of my mother. I felt far more warm than I had since long before my meeting with the goddess.
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It had been about a month since I was born. My mother lived alone with me in a small two room cabin on the edge of a peaceful valley. She looked young to me, no older than 20, but three other older women would show up every day to help her out with chores and take care of me. Eventually, I managed to pick up that her name was Catrina. She had long beautiful brown hair and a doll like face. Whenever people were around she would always converse with them in a gleeful tone and wear a genuine smile; but as soon as we were alone all of that energy would disappear.
There were light bulbs in both rooms but I hadn't seen any other technology past that. For all I knew they just ran on magic. There was a small bookshelf in the corner of the main room and my mother would read aloud to me every night while I sat in her lap. I would try to repeat some of the words I heard back to her but I was only able to make gurgling sounds. It was from these nights that I finally learned my new name; Immanuel.
I got to look around outside when Catrina would take me on walks. The area was a forest region made up of mostly pine and oak trees though much of it had been cleared for development leaving most of the land green with grasses. I knew we were fairly high up because I could see the tree line on the mountain next to us. A small lake made of snow melt trickled off into the next valley over.
It wasn't a village in a traditional sense. Houses dotted the land, each with just enough space to raise a few livestock or have a small farm. About half of the properties had horses and you could see many of the villagers riding around during the day talking to each other in a relaxed mood. I often saw old couples tending to their vegetable gardens and greeting everyone that passed by. Some days Catrina would walk us past the massive building at the end of the valley that acted as a bar and social center.
One day my simple life changed. My mother put on what could only be described as a maid uniform and took me much farther than we had ever gone before. After following the creek to the next valley over we arrived at a Victorian style mansion on the side of a lake. She quickly found a crib for me inside and then went to work cleaning the room. She was understandably a bit slow, but in time, and with a clearly practiced hand she finished up the room. With a wave, she left me by myself for the first time since the day of my talk with the goddess. Every now and then, the women that would show up at the cabin would check up on me; the youngest of the three now in the same maid uniform my mother had worn.
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After a few hours of waiting the first real proof that I was in a fantasy world finally appeared. A girl, no more than 7 years old, with pale gray hair peeked into the room. Her yellow eyes gave me a predatory stare as I couldn't help but watch back. On the top of her head were one of the greatest traits a girl could have, animal ears. They looked soft and furry as they twitched and pointed right at me. A big tuft of fluffy hair poked out from each one. They were wolf ears.
She wore a dress that matched one of the old ladies I had seen that day. Unable to contain my excitement, I waved at her. Her eyes began to sparkle and she ran up to me. A big bushy tail stuck out from under her skirt wagging back and forth. She plunged her face into my crib and began to poke and prod me with a giant smile. It hurt a lot but that didn't matter. I did my best to communicate the only thing of importance in the world. She stopped playing with me and the gears in her head began to turn. It eventually clicked for her what I was after and picked me up to hold me next to her head. I reached my hand out and began to touch her ears. True bliss washed over me as I gently petted them. They were just as soft and fluffy as they looked but just as I felt I could sit there fondling them for hours something dawned on me.
You know what? Isn't this kind of disappointing? This isn't much different than a dog ear… It's not like I haven't petted a dog before. Isn't this supposed to be the most magical moment that every fantasy lover dreams of? Yeah, they're cute and attached to a cute girl, but is that really enough to make it a life mission? It's not like I'm a lolicon, but is that really enough to make this so anti-climatic? … I don't think that's what it is. I doubt it would be that much different if she was older… It DOES definitely have to be a girl, that's obvious, there is no world I would want to pet an animal boy's ears. And these are fine and all, but it just feels… like I'm missing something…
With a jolt, I snapped back to reality. The wolf girl held me in front of her face with a complex look of confusion and terror. At some point, I had stopped petting her ears. Unconsciously, I had begun to rub my chin while deep in thought. My other arm crossed my chest, supporting the elbow of the first as I hunched over like an old man caressing his beard. This was not a position you would ever find a baby in.
This wasn't the first time I had done a poor job of playing the part of a clueless baby. Sometimes my mother would give me strange looks from my brief displays of intelligence, but she never seemed to think about it too hard. I had
never screwed up this badly before. I stared at her with my mouth agape while she tilted her head examining me. She slowly set me back down in my crib before running out the door.
Shit
A few moments passed and she came back, pulling two women with her in maid outfits. The first looked just like her with the same long pale gray hair, so I assumed that it was her mother. In the other hand was my own mother Catrina. The girl gave an excited explanation, pointed at me, and then pantomimed what I had done earlier. I did my best oblivious baby expression. The two mothers gave each other doubtful looks, berated her quickly, and left.
The wolf girl watched their backs with a glare as they left just the two of us in the room. She turned back around only to find me with a giant smug grin that I couldn't help but display as I tried to hold back my laughter. The look on her face turned to despair knowing she had just been bested. Her despair slowly turned to anger as I realized that I may have made a mistake. Before I could react she grabbed me, shoved me under her arm like a football, and jumped out of the window.
WAIT WAIT I'M SORRY.
My cries were muffled in the wind as she ran through the forest. Branches and twigs wiped me as she dashed through bushes.
Oh god, she's going to kill me. She must think I'm some sort of hellspawn.
Just as quickly as we started we came to the edge of a well trodden clearing about 30 meters wide. Logs lined the sides, some fashioned into benches and racks. A single man with grey hair, wearing a white tunic stood in the center without moving a muscle. The moment he came into view the girl stopped dead in her tracks holding her breath. He held a massive zweihander, that looked like it had been crafted from black stainless steel, above his head. The world seemed to stand still as we watched him from his back. The man flourished his sword in a single clean effortless motion. As he finished his swing the grass at his feet blew away from him, the gust barely reaching where we stood.
I realized I had been holding my breath too and remembered to inhale as the man turned to look at us. The wolf girl quickly dashed forward to his side in an instant with me still held under her arm. I could guess what she was saying as she went into a torrent of words while holding me up to the man. Fear, the likes of which this body had yet to experience, gripped me tighter than I could bare as he sheathed his sword on his back and reached out to pick me up. The man began to examine me thoroughly while flipping me around and dangling me in various ways. As if he was satisfied with looking over my physique, the man held me directly in front of his face at arm's length and stared me straight in the eyes for what felt like an eternity.
Oh shit, he knows! HE KNOWS!
The man, still deep in thought, slowly placed me on the ground at his feet. He tilted his neck to the side and began to scratch the top of his head while still looking into my eyes. Suddenly the fear from before welled up even farther into absolute sheer terror. All I could do was sit in place staring up at him as one word passed through my head.
DEATH
Then, as if it had all been my imagination, the feeling slipped away. The man was still scratching his scalp as he leaned his head to the other side. I became aware of the blood and adrenaline loudly pumping through my head as my vision blacked out.
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I woke up later to the sounds of women screaming as my mother broke into the clearing flanked by the oldest looking of the woman I knew. The sun had begun to set dyeing the forest orange. I was sitting in the wolf girl's lap, with her arms draped over me as she sat cross legged against a tree. Looking up to examine her face I saw that she was napping soundly with a string of drool slipping out of her mouth. At the corner of my eye, I saw the man wince knowing the earful he was about to receive.