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1 - THE WORLD IS OUT TO KILL ME

The world is out to get me. You may think this is paranoia but it is actually true.

A crosswalk signal changed to “walk,” and a man began to cross the street, a young girl beside him. Suddenly, the man was jerked to a stop, as the hand of the girl next to him shot up to protect him.

Man: "Wha!?"

the man exclaimed, but his voice was instantly muted by the deafening roar of an engine. A sleek, black sports car blazed right through the red light without a care in the world. After a moment had passed, the girl turned, smiling up at the man. She removed her hand from his pounding chest and--looking both ways to confirm there were no more cars nearby--trots out into the crosswalk.

My name is Maria, and I am seventeen years old. For the last three years, I have come across an average of seven near-death experiences each day. Whether it be by faulty electronics, nearly being hit by trucks, or...

The girl from the crosswalk stood next to the opening of a dim alleyway, fiddling with a leather bag tied to her belt. This was Maria. Suddenly, a crazed man with wild eyes races out from the alley behind the girl, brandishing a butterfly knife. The girl looks up in alarm, and released her grip on the bag, the contents spilling onto the ground in front of the man. Marbles flew everywhere, and one of which shot beneath the man’s boot. He was unable to control his movement, and skid on several more marbles before face-planting on the ground in a heap.

 ...strange people dashing towards me with sharp objects. It is usually a knife, but there have also been scissors. The strangest occurrence of all was a man dressed like a Viking with a spear.

Maria opened the door to her house and walked inside.

Maria: "I am home!"

“...”

There was no answer.

"Does not seem like anyone is at home, currently..."

Maria immediately began opening the windows in her house, and afterward she slid behind the oven and shut off the gas. It seemed that it was leaking again, and a single spark from a light could have set it off.

Maria sighed.

 Maria: "Again? I told Mother to get that gas line fixed..."

Suddenly, Maria tensed up as she sensed something. Her hand flashed over to the kitchen knife on the counter, and she whipped around and hurled it… only to watch it pass through a strange intruder who suddenly appeared in her home. Maria gawked, as she saw what could only be described as a tattered black hood with black wings hovering off the ground behind her.

Maria: "Haa…”

Maria started, then,

Maria: “WHA..!"

???: "Alright!”

said a mysterious voice,

???: “We are out of time. Just get reincarnated, already!"

The black-hooded figure smashed his hand against Maria's forehead. Maria felt as though she was being split in two, and could, strangely, see the back of her hair right before she went flying through the wall. 

Back at her house, Maria's body fell to the floor. Lifeless.

The mysterious figure sighed.

 ???: "I suppose heart attack is as good of a cause of death as any…”

he said, shrugging his shoulders,

??? “...there’s been too many truck or knife deaths anyways..."

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Rain “Rainy” Jenson was in trouble… or rather, to say she was in “trouble,” would be putting it mildly...

Rainy was minding her own business after school, when a weird, glowing circle with a pentagram appeared beneath her feet. The light was so blindingly bright that after she opened her eyes, she found herself standing in what appeared to be a vortex. She could see clouds flying past, and all around her. Ahead of her, strangely, was a woman sitting on a throne of, what looked like clear glass, with hundreds of steps leading up to it. 

The woman on the throne regarded the newcomer kindly, and introduced herself as 'Maria, the Goddess of Wisdom'. Maria, wasting no time, told Rainy that she would be tasked with saving the world. A world different from her own, but in need of saving nonetheless. 

While Rainy was a little annoyed that she had missed the mixer she was going to after classes (as that one cute girl she was interested in would be there,)  she began to feel excited the more she heard about the world she was going to be saving. 

Maria showed her visions of several of the towns, and Rainy couldn’t help but notice that the women there were gorgeous! It was like every last one of them was either blessed with weaponized cuteness, or were beautiful supermodels! However, none of them compared to the Goddess before her, who smiled and promised to Rainy that once her mission was complete, she would receive a wish. 

Rainy's head was filled with several ideas as to what she could ask for, however, she finally mentally settled on seeing if the beautiful, enchanting Goddess she’d just met would be willing to marry her afterward. It couldn't hurt to ask right?

But, Rainy was getting ahead of herself. 

She realized that she would need the ability to complete the request before she could get any reward at all. I mean, thinking about rewards before you even know if you can earn them would be like putting the cart before the horse, right?

So, Rainy began listing off several abilities she would like to have to ensure this quest was as smooth sailing as it could get. She settled on Teleportation, Invisibility, Ability Steal, Super Regeneration, and finally--Self Resurrection. The Goddess Maria agreed to give them all to Rainy to help complete her quest. It was as simple as just asking! The Goddess stated that she was ready to give Rainy her new abilities, and stood up, taking her first step down the stairs... 

...and then tripped on her robe... 

...and fell down the entire one hundred steps... 

...hitting her head several times. 

Oh yeah, also--THAT WAS FOUR HOURS AGO!

Rainy tried several times to see if the Goddess Maria was okay, but was blocked by an invisible barrier any time she tried to get within three inches of her. Over the next several hours, Rainy tried several things; from attempting to break the barrier with the neat sword she appeared with, to shaking her fist in anger at her twisted fate, to just straight-up leaving the place. However, she found that no matter what she did, she was completely and utterly trapped in the weird room in the clouds as she moved closer to the glass-like walls in the room. 

Rainy was a prisoner in this weird goddess' room with an assumed corpse, and no cellphone or internet.

Rainy: "I'm screwed aren't I?"

Rainy asked the air.

No sooner had Rainy spoken, when she noticed the goddess stirring awake.

Maria: "Ugghh..."

Maria grumbled, clearly in pain. Rainy almost pounced on her.

Rainy: "Oh, thank the goddess... er, thank you, for not being dead!"

she declared.

Maria suddenly opened her eyes. She saw the girl's long, black hair and dark clothing, and suddenly thought of the weird figure who appeared in her house.

Maria: "KYAAAAAAA!"

Suddenly, Rainy was forced back as both of Maria's hands struck her in the torso. Rainy's eyes opened wide as she realized she had flown back even further than where the supposed wall was supposed to be. 

Rainy fell towards the ground below.

Rainy: “Eh!”

she said.

Rainy was so surprised that she let go of the shiny, holy sword she’d been holding onto.

Maria stood stoically, absorbing what had just transpired.

Maria: “...”

The goddess had realized that the person who she had just ejected from the room was not actually the assailant who had appeared in her home. No, Maria now knew that this was just a regular girl... 

...who did not have wings... 

...aaaand who she had just sent plummeting to her likely death.

Goddess Maria panicked and ran to where she felt the edge was, and got on her hands and knees to look to see if she could find the girl. 

Maria: "This does not look good..."

she said, peering out into the void beyond.

Maria began to pray.

Maria: "Please be okay! Please be okay! Please be okay!"

she chanted, her eyes closed and hands clasped tightly together.

Suddenly, a white light flashed around Maria, and a vision of the girl safely being caught by a gust of wind and landing safely on the ground appeared in Maria's mind.

Maria was so startled by the bright light that she jumped up in surprise... right over the edge.

Maria: "Eh! Eeeeek!"

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