Simon brushed his fingers along his robe, smoothing the velvet down and picking at the last crumbs of dirt that clung to the expensive fabric. He dressed in bloody reds and shadow-shimmering blacks today.

A fitting palette, he thought, showing the natural form of his pointed, gleaming white teeth as he smiled at his longtime rival. There was no need to hide such minor details of his appearance. Not with her.

“Good to see you too, Jade.”

The Goddess of Life didn’t respond, watching a display she’d pulled up in the air in front of her. She didn’t seem to mind the fact that she was ankle-deep in rich black soil. Simon edged over to stand next to her. She stepped smoothly to the side and the screen followed, so he just watched from a few feet away, feet planted in the grass that edged the field of tilled soil.

“Better for my boots anyway,” he sniffed. She still didn’t respond, so he turned his attention to the screen. He gritted his teeth. He was supposed to be the one annoying her, but recently Jade seemed to have learned the trick of ignoring him completely. Simon had to admit, the tactic was effective. After a few seconds, he grew restless, bored with the sterile display of the screen and the silence that hung in the air.

The display showed a fight, between…well, Simon didn’t know what they were called exactly, but it wasn’t very impressive.

“Very impressive,” he said, as Lucy in the form of a one-celled organism flopped her way out of an incoming spike. He tapped a hand on his chin as she…well, he honestly wasn’t sure what she was trying to do.

“Hmm,” he said thoughtfully, just to annoy Jade, who gave a long-suffering sigh.

“Just tell me what you want, Simon.”

“Well, since you asked…” he purred, “I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for a little…friendly wager between you and me. Spruce things up a bit, you know? Things are so boring down below. You’d think endless torture would be fun, but…” he shrugged. It was the slow season.

Jade frowned. “You mean spice things up a bit? We’re not decorating for the holidays Simon.” She ignored the bit about torture.

Simon waved a hand. Mortal tongues were so silly sometimes. In his natural tongue he would have conveyed his meaning with a tinge of malevolent aura from his magic. English was rather mundane in comparison. Boring, even.

“Whatever. My point is, let’s make a bet. On this little fight of yours, perhaps.”

He waved vaguely at the screen and then waited, his attention on Jade’s reaction even as he watched the fight play out on the screen.

When she didn’t dismiss the wager idea out of hand, Simon smiled inwardly. It might have been a surprise to the mortals, but he knew Jade better than just about anybody. More importantly, he knew her weak spot.

“I’ve been thinking about it, and I decided I’m ready and willing to take you up on your offer.”

Jade spun to face him, and for the first time looked at Simon with something other than aloof indifference. She chewed her lip.

“This isn’t just a regular fight, Simon,” she said finally, blowing out a breath of air like she hated to admit it but couldn’t bring herself to lie.

Simon could have shaken his head. This is really too easy, he mused.

As he listened to Jade explain the unusual situation he feigned interest. He knew all about Lucy’s mishap, of course. It had taken Simon a long time to sneak such an inept employee as Frank Schlebly into Jade’s organization, and he’d spent even longer waiting for the perfect fuck-up to take advantage of.

In his experience, it was good to keep as many schemes running as possible. You never knew when they would pay off, and the timing for this one was rather serendipitous, he thought.

For a moment as Jade babbled on, Simon felt a twinge of guilt deep in his mind. The truth was, he needed Jade’s help with something. Nothing serious, of course, just a minor little conundrum that had fallen into his lap. It was nothing, really. Little more than a magical incident whose repair would require abilities that lay outside of Simon’s own wheelhouse.

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The worst part was, he knew she would say yes if he came out and asked for help. Jade was just the type to help the unfortunate, even if they had gotten themselves into trouble. Especially then.

The whole idea of actually asking her to help him was intolerable, smacked of—

His lip curled in disgust as a word came unbidden to his mind.

Redemption.

He spat the word in his head, and was winding up for a mental tirade when he realized that Jade was staring at him. He hadn’t realized she’d finished explaining.

Luckily, the look of disgust was nothing out of the ordinary for him, and Jade took it in stride with barely a wince.

Good, he thought. He let his disgust turn into a sneer, then laughed and smiled broadly.

“Oh, Jade. You’ve done it this time, haven’t you? You really should be more careful about who you hire, you know.”

She squinted at him, and he froze. She had mentioned an employee had done this, right?

He smiled again. No matter. The plan was in motion, and he knew Jade wouldn’t turn down his offer.

And it wasn’t like the girl had a chance of actually completing the challenge, after all. Not after the…measures Simon had lined up.

He repeated his intention to honor their bargain, if she won.

“You mean it?” Jade asked, hope in her voice and new flowers springing to life at her feet. Simon rolled his eyes, exhausted by the display of exuberance. “You’ll work with me to over—”

Simon stepped in close and clapped a hand over Jade’s mouth, hissing in her ear to be quiet, then saying loudly, “That’s right! If your champion completes the challenge as stated and you win, I swear to work with you to...overcome the difficulties of our past, and work together for the, uh, betterment of the world!”

That was close enough to the truth anyways, Simon thought. If Jade wanted to get mixed up in the plots of the Big Guy upstairs, she would need his help. Not that it would ever come to that, but—

“I witness this oath and hereby bind both parties to its upholding.”

The voice shook the clouds and stirred the air, even in this temporary world-space. Simon shuddered at the sheer power of it. He had a few nasty tricks of his own up his sleeve, but…it was a good thing Jade's champion had no chance of overcoming the odds. He had no interest in schemes that went beyond the earthly realms.

For all his deviousness and casual air, however, Simon was not the type to under-prepare, or to underestimate an enemy. He’d been told many times how thorough he was. It hadn’t usually been intended as a compliment, but he didn’t mind.

The voice lingered in the air, waiting for Jade to complete her part of the oath.

“And if my champion should fail, I agree to…” she trailed off, looking questioningly at Simon, who waved a hand.

“Oh, the usual,” he said casually.

Jade frowned, then narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

“A small favor of your choosing? That’s it? For helping me—” she glanced quickly upwards, “…for helping me out?” she finished lamely.

“If you win,” Simon pointed out. “I’ve got a good feeling about this one.” He winked, but Jade’s expression didn’t change.

He felt sweat begin to prickle beneath his arms. He probably could feasibly solve his little problem without Jade’s help, but it would be so much easier if she just—

Jade hesitated, chewing her lip and thinking, but eventually nodded and spoke the words.

“I, Jade, the Goddess of Life, do hereby agree to honor the terms of this wager, and to perform one.” She held out a single finger. “Favor for Simon, the God of Death. ‘Favor’ in this instance is strictly defined and delineated by the contract drawn up for the first time in 2004, and updated this June to include…”

Simon would never admit it, but he felt a surge of relief as Jade rattled on. He’d been losing bets to Jade on and off for decades, just in case he ever truly needed something from her.

Yes, Simon thought, it was good to keep plenty of schemes rolling. Keeps your options open and your motivations hidden. He could have sighed in satisfaction, if he’d been prone to such displays.

When Jade finished speaking, a small cloud appeared above and showered the two of them in golden rain as the oath took hold and sank in. Simon rolled his eyes again at Jade but didn’t say anything. This was her world-space after all, and he knew what he was about to say would upset her enough anyway.

Jade beamed at him, all bright eyes and goofy smile as the droplets of gold slowly stopped, and for a moment Simon felt a lurch of guilt in his gut. Jade was too damn trusting for her own good.

After a few long seconds he looked away. It wasn’t his problem, was it?

He stepped back and cleared his throat, preparing a portal beneath his feet that would take him home.

“Oh! By the way!” he said, as the grass beneath him caught fire and blackened, “It’s so funny it worked out this way, but the reason I came here in the first place was to tell you about—”

But Jade had already turned her back.

For a moment, Simon was surprised enough to let the sting he felt show on his face, a tiny expression of shocked hurt.

Then he got control of himself.

Fine, Simon thought, dusting off his clothes again as he prepared to leave. It’ll be better as a surprise anyways.

But in the end, he couldn’t help himself. Just as the magic flames rose up past his ankles and flickered towards his chest, he spoke.

“You really should be more careful about your oaths, Jade.”

He said it in a quiet, serious voice that made her turn around to face him completely, but he was already gone, savoring the look of confusion and concern on her face as the flames took him away.

Simon let a bit more of his natural form break through his disguise as he travelled through the immaterial realm, bits of spiky black jutting out through his fine velvet and bulges of raw muscle distorting the patterns of his brocade silk.

He still had one more visit to make, and he thought a bit of fear would do Lucy well.