'Do you know yourself, Aether?' Grandma's words still resounded in my ears long after we landed back in the secluded forest. She was leaning against the large rock in the middle of the clearing, basking under the sun while enjoying a rainbow-colored fruit in her human form.
I on the other hand was still out of it, I couldn't help but think back to her question. 'Did I know myself?' Grandma was right, I still lacked a sense of direction, an actual goal per se. Ever since I was born in this new world, I was mostly going with the flow.
The countless trials, the rite of passage, the destruction of Piya. I was following orders while trying not to think too much into them. I sighed as I began to walk away from the clearing, grandmother didn't say anything to stop me and simply watched me go with a gentle smile.
I bowed my head in respect and walked away. I didn't fly, no, I wanted to walk. The leaves crackled beneath my claws as a gentle wind caressed my scales. Faint rays of sunlight shone from between the tree branches forming a soothing scenery.
I slowly wandered about, aimlessly, my mind drifting to my various encounters, my first fight, my meeting with Amanita, my naming ceremony, my rite of passage. Everything floated in my mind like a dream, and for the first time, I found myself wondering.
'What do I want to do?'
As a dragon, it seems like the natural course of things is to grow stronger and eventually fight off against the Shades to protect the planet, akin to a guardian of sorts all the while safeguarding the balance and the mana stream.
That's what a dragon is 'supposed' to do, an honorable goal. 'But is that what I want to do?' I inwardly mumbled. Up to this point, I didn't question anything, I didn't question what was right and what was wrong, I simply took things as they came and went with the flow as grandma mentioned.
'But is that a bad thing?' I quickly found myself wondering about that.
Just as I started thinking about it, my mind subconsciously recalled the scene of the Piya knights throwing themselves against me in helpless suicidal attacks, hoping to stop me for at least a second, they all knew it was hopeless, and almost all of them were terrified, yet they still fought to their last breath because of their conviction.
They had something they wanted to protect, their friends, their lovers, their children, 'Was that really the right choice?' I mumbled, my feet carried me to the edge of the forest where I came across a small hidden waterfall.
A sigh escaped my mouth as I lay down next to the waterfall, the rhythmic sound of water crashing against the large boulder was soothing. I raised my head to glance at the sky, my mind still filled with the scenes of destruction I had caused in the Piya kingdom.
'The whole rite of passage mission seemed to have been influenced by father's drive for revenge, still, most of the humans I killed were sinless, at least in this matter, so what type of revenge did I carry?' Another long sigh escaped my mouth.
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My feelings concerning the humans felt a lot more muddled ever since my reincarnation, the more I accepted my newfound instincts the more twisted my point of view became. At first, I followed orders without questioning them since I figured that's how things are, and I who was born as a dragon in this life had to get used to it.
And I 'did' I reached a point where I treated human life like trash, we weren't on the same plane...just my train of thought began to delve into that direction once again, I recalled what grandmother had told my father once before.
'Every life matters to someone boy, just like how Amanita mattered to you, and to that damned old lizard,'
Her words still resounded in my ears, every life matters to someone. The more I thought about this whole situation, the more conflicted I became. My dragonic instincts were indifferent to the massacre I had committed, treating it as If it was nothing.
My rational side still felt that it was too much, that maybe, things could have developed differently had I not been so passive about everything. As if sensing my sour mood, the surrounding water mana began to gather around my body in what looked like an attempt to cheer me up.
The elements danced around me, some tickling my scales while others morphed into various forms that swirled around me. A weary smile made its way to my face at that scene, I slowly extended my claw and gently caressed a humanoid-shaped element.
'I can't change the past, in the eyes of the humans, I'm now a devil responsible for Piya's tragedy, most of them still don't know why I attacked. They still don't know what they are doing wrong, and they still don't know that their use of mana is harmful to the stream,'
I lowered my claw and fell in deep thought, 'None of the other dragons seem to have any intentions nor interest in correcting their wrongs, or guiding them towards a better path,'
"Ah, what am I saying, what guiding them towards a better path after all I did," I shook my head with a frown, "How hypocritical," I sighed.
Glancing at my surroundings for a final time, I then swiftly launched myself towards the sky and made my way back home, my mind was still a mess as I found myself thinking of various things I was avoiding up until now.
Once I landed in front of the cave's entrance, Immy who was basking under the sun glanced at me with a curious gaze and surprisingly took the initiative to speak as she asked, "What's wrong with you older brother? You look conflicted,"
Glancing at her, I sighed, and instead of walking into the cave chose to walk over and sit down by her side. For a while, I didn't say anything, and neither did she press me for anything. We just sat there basking under the sun's glow.
"Immy," I called out.
"Hmm?"
"Do you have a goal?" I asked.
She turned to look at me for a second before answering, "A goal huh, I suppose I want to learn more about the humans," She replied, causing me to look at her in surprise.
"The humans? How come?"
"Our first inheritance, the memories of the dragon I relived belonged to one that was worshiped by the humans, 'he' lived amongst them, helped them when they encountered any problems, through his eyes, I watched the humans, their civilization, their customs, their habits," She paused for a second before continuing.
“Before I was pulled out of the inheritance, I saw something I didn’t understand, the humans that once worshiped the dragon turned against him, they turned their swords and spears and attacked him, there was no sign of the respect they once held towards him....”
“Before I could understand what had happened, I was abruptly pulled out of the dream, desperate to find out what had occurred, I went off to hunt another monster, one even stronger than the previous one, hoping that my immersion would be longer,” A sigh escaped her mouth as she continued.
“Who would have thought that father would not agree. And so because of that, I want to learn, just what sort of existences are the humans, and what exactly happened before, that’s my goal,”
> I’m not sure if any noticed, but the chapter referred to is chapter 20 when Immy hunted another werewolf trying to go back to the nightmarish realm,