“Cisley?”
Stopping the tears threatening to escape her eyes, she looked at the boy in Lexa’s lap.
“Of course I don’t like it. He just crawls from one side of the room to another until he passes away from exhaustion, and I feel tired too from all the walking.” She couldn’t hide the smile from her face as she sat on the bed next to Lexa.
“Your first is going to be here soon too, you should rest more.”
Lexa glanced on Cisley's swollen belly, she was in her eight month of expecting, but looking at how happy the little walk around the room made her, nobody had the heart to say to her she should stay in the bed. The masters no longer made her go out in the fields to work, even they didn’t want to risk losing another of their goods.
Sighing, Cisley put her fingers over her belly, pressing her lips in a thin line. “It is going to be my second child.”
Lexas eyes widened for a moment before she looked away.
“Of course, I meant you should know better now and just let us have some fun with him. He is a little rascal, always making his mom run around.”
Lifting his hands up she pulled Raijen back.
“Right Raijen? How about you play with us and give your mom a break?”
Raijen looked up, smiling, but never talking. Cisley didn’t worry about it too much at the beginning, some children started talking later, some sooner, but Raijen didn’t talk. He didn’t even seem to try to talk, always just looking at her moving his mouth, but no sound other then cries come out.
“Oh, so you just want my little man to play with you?” She grinned at the black haired women next to her.
A click at the wall, with the heavy black wooden door strengthened by iron, made the whole room fell into silence as five guards marched inside.
The fires together with small windows at the top of the walls kept the room from complete darkness, but whenever the doors opened the sunrise showed the fear lurking in the corners of the stone barn they were kept in. But when instead of sun the silver rays fell upon them the true despair ignited inside of the women.
“It is time, start moving!” Shouted the only men without a spear, carrying the short sword of the commander on his hip.
As the women started arranging into a column and walk out, Lexa put Raijen on Cisley's knee and went to join them. As they parted whisper escaped Cisley's mouth
“Let the walls let you in once more.” Raijen’s mouth moved with theirs, but with no sound, nobody noticed.
"May they return me.”
Whispers shaking with fear and emotions for their sisters echoed in every corner of the room. The women filled out and the food was carried in, signaling the night has fallen.
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Raijen saw many women give birth in the last few months, not all of them survived, many didn’t, but it never really bothered him as much as it did today.
Watching his mother lying on that bed, pink with dried blood, was the scariest thing he ever saw. Many of these women died on that bed, and the worst thing was that he could do nothing about it. Just sit behind the midwife and stare at her, helping to bring the child into this world.
Children shouldn’t even be born in here.
Gripping his naked legs his body was shaking.
Why was I born in here? This is not how it is supposed to be, I should have a great family, new start, new chance on the life I always imagined. Instead, I’m locked in the room with my best prospect of being a slave.
Since he could move around, Raijen explored most of the house. There was just one room, but even so, it took considerable effort to get from one side to the other. The place was huge, accommodating around fifty people, mostly young women, and children no older than five years.
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There were no men, other than the guards taking women which weren't pregnant or recovering from injuries out. It happened twice a day at the same time, once in the morning when the first meal was served and the second time at the night, not all of them always returned.
And those who did were seldom without new bruises or tears in their clothes leaving a little question to what they were made to do outside.
There was something in their eyes he could not really understand.
Why did they carry on? They went through that trial every single day and they just kept going as if it was expected. Don’t they know they can just choose to fight back? They might die, but it has to be better than just accepting what has happened to them.
Unable to distract himself from the scene in front of him, his memories flashed back to Cisley.
When Raijen first realized that Cisley, his mother, was probably in the same situation as those taken out every night before she started to carry the child. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for her, she was a weak woman, unable to fight back.
Broken by whatever past brought her here and without reason to carry on. When he glanced in her eyes there was just empty acceptance of her destiny awaiting for it to end, only to be forced to live on, for purposes he didn’t want to think about.
As an infant with your old life’s memories though, you can do nothing but think.
After figuring out how to turn around on his knees and move Raijen started exploring. His mother didn’t leave him alone to random adventures and started to follow behind him, making sure nothing happened to her sister's child.
One day when he decided to sit by the wall and look at all these people going around their business, he noticed Cisley sitting on the bed next to him, looking fidgety and bored.
Not thinking about it more something caught his attention, deciding to find out what is in the last corner that was yet to be explored. It was then, Raijen saw Cisley smile for the first time because of other reason rather than his grinning at her, as she happily followed behind him.
It was then when something clicked in his mind.
They were locked away for all this time, some of them went out once a day, some twice, but the rest was locked here for months without anything to do other than some menial tasks.
From that day on Raijen was moving around until he exhausted himself to sleep, or took some rest to eat, or to shit himself.
Maybe I can actually do something.
Thinking to himself, Raijen crawled one more time across the room as his hands burned from muscle pain. Something more than just cry and sleep.
Things started to change since then, Cisley smiled more and more, looking much more relaxed and lively. Giving Raijen more confidence, he accidentally rammed head first into some women legs, giving her his best, innocent, baby smile.
He started to make his new mother interact with others in the room. For him, it was mostly getting hugged and smothered by the other women, establishing a position amongst the babies as the most adorable one.
But for his mother it was much more, being able to speak with others freely and make new friends helped her to get out of her shell.
Lifting his head from between his legs he watched the back of the midwife.
Who knows what would have happened if she didn’t decide to take care of a child of some stranger she barely even knew. I have to make sure she is at least a little happier then the last day, maybe she will not put me away then.
The irrational thoughts surged in his mind as panic assaulted his small body for the fear of what is going to happen to this woman who he learned to think of and love as his mother.
After a long time cries of a newborn once more echoed in between the huge black walls with narrow windows and shadows cast by flames.
Moving near the bed, grabbing the sheets he pulled with all the strength he had, still unable to properly stand Lexa lifted Raijen in her arms.
His gaze fixed on new mother holding the little boy in her arms, with a tired smile on sweat covered face. A mix of complex feelings assaulted his belly, the happiness of her being alright, the fear of what having her own child meant for their relationship, but most of all, relief.
No matter what, she is still here. Breathing, smiling, I can be with her forever, never leaving.
Siting next to her head she looked into Raijens dark, almost black eyes with her own dark brown eyes. Saying some words he couldn’t understand and gesture to the child.
Raijen smiled putting both hands on her face, not looking away from her eyes. He didn’t let go of her hair before exhaustion took him, and the first dream after very long time filled his night.