Alone on her bed, Hua Yan's mind went blank upon learning that she couldn't conceive, leaving her in a chaotic void. Occasionally, thoughts of her inability to have children would intrude, causing her insides to churn as if ready to vomit blood. This deep pain was more excruciating than a knife twisting in her heart. Sometimes, she wished she could disintegrate into the atmosphere like molecules, devoid of thoughts and pain.

She had once dreamed of having a child when her life and work were stable, giving them everything within her power. A child was an angel, from wrinkled newborn to increasingly delicate and pink, then learning to call "Mommy, Daddy..." and taking their first wobbly steps. Hua Yan had constructed these dreams countless times in her mind. Her father would occasionally ask when he could hold his grandson, and Hua Yan would nonchalantly reply, "Why rush? There'll be grandchildren." At these times, her father's face and eyes radiated uncontainable happiness and joy.

Normally not one to hold grudges, Hua Yan now harbored an intense hatred for those who were married, especially Cheng Jie. Upon her rebirth, she had seen in her old diary that the most frequent phrase was "Hope to conceive soon." She had wanted a child, a child with Cheng Jie. It also mentioned a happy occurrence during those three years, with Cheng Jie faithfully bringing her a glass of milk every night. Little did she know, Cheng Jie spent those two days each week intoxicated in another woman's bed.

In hindsight, the glass of milk Cheng Jie brought her was likely spiked. When her father's company went bankrupt, Cheng Jie had a hand in it, and shortly after the company's collapse, he divorced her. All of this indicated that Cheng Jie had been planning the divorce four years ago, three years ago, and he didn't want any chance of her bearing his child. So, he didn't hesitate to use his affection to ensure she took birth control pills daily, without concern for her health. Truly despicable!

It felt like an eternity had passed when she suddenly heard voices outside her room. "What are you doing standing here, Gouzi?" someone asked.

"I finished training and heard that Hua Yan was feeling down, so I came to check on her," Gouzi replied. At home in the countryside, he had a sister around Hua Yan's age who had always taken care of him since they were children. It had been two years since he last visited home, but seeing Hua Yan made him feel as if he were seeing his older sister. Hearing that Hua Yan had locked herself in her room and not come out all day, he grew concerned and skipped dinner to come see her.

Standing at the door for a while, he heard no sounds from inside and couldn't tell if Hua Yan was asleep or awake. Just then, a comrade saw him.

"I just came from Leader Yang's place, and they're also very worried about Hua Yan," the comrade said.

Listening quietly to their conversation, tears streamed uncontrollably down Hua Yan's face. Amidst endless sorrow, she couldn't help but feel touched by the concern of others, but the pain was too deep. No amount of care from others could cover the abyss of her wounded heart. Tears could evaporate into the air, but the blood from her heart's wounds could only accumulate within her bones.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

But she had promised herself to live well after her rebirth. If she had forty more years of life, she refused to sink into inconsolable grief. With a bitter smile of resilience, she stirred herself into action. Getting out of bed, she washed away the tears on her face with cold water and forced a few smiles until she was satisfied, then opened the door and stepped out.

The sudden opening of the door startled Gouzi, but he was relieved and exclaimed, "You finally came out!"

"Thank you, Gouzi! You've trained all day, go have dinner. I'm fine now," Hua Yan said, trying to force a smile. But even as she smiled, her swollen eyes betrayed her lingering sadness. Seeing Gouzi's worried expression, she added, "I really appreciate it! Go eat, I'm going to check on Lao Yang."

In Lao Yang's single room, Lao Qiao asked, "Hua Yan didn't eat or drink all day and locked herself in her room?"

"She hasn't come out the whole time. After hearing the news, she kicked me out. I stood outside her room for a while but didn't hear any crying," Lao Yang replied.

"I almost wish she would cry it out..." Lao Qiao added. "Should we have her father come and talk to her?"

"I think it's not appropriate. Even if Hua Yan is willing to suffer herself, she wouldn't want her father to be unhappy. Just a few months ago, her father had recovered from the collapse of his family. If he knew what the Cheng family did to his only daughter, what would he think? Guilt, hatred, pain, and so on, would surely plague him. Do you think Hua Yan would want to see him like that?" Lao Yang analyzed carefully.

Lao Qiao sighed, furrowing his brow. "But we can't let Hua Yan continue to sink into despair..."

After a few minutes of silence, Lao Yang suddenly spoke up. "You know, your mention reminds me of someone."

"Who?"

"It's someone you told me about... Not long ago, you mentioned someone named Hu Er wanted to visit Hua Yan?"

Lao Qiao pondered for a moment, then slapped his forehead. "Indeed, there was someone named Hu Er who wanted to see her. He claimed to be a friend of Hua Yan's. But when I had him checked out, he turned out to be of Chinese descent, currently engaged in high-level investment projects in the country to ensure Hua Yan's safety during her missions, I didn't agree."

"Hu Er... That name sounds familiar." After a moment, Lao Yang added, "Wasn't there a bodyguard named Hu Er around Hua Yan recently?"

"Oh? So he's the Chinese guy... But we can't let them in here."

"We didn't say we wouldn't let their message in."

"Still, let's not trouble him for now!" Just then, they saw Hua Yan pushing the door open and walking in. Both Lao Qiao and Lao Yang were surprised and delighted. While Hua Yan felt warmed by their concern, she also rolled her eyes at them inwardly. If she hadn't arrived just then, Hu Er might have found out. Hua Yan didn't want anyone else to know about her situation; she wanted to heal herself gradually, relying on the sincere care of her family and friends for warmth. However, she knew that to overcome her pain, she had to rely on herself.

Without waiting for them to speak, Hua Yan said seriously, "I hope only the people who know about my situation now will continue to know."

"I'll inform the others, but if you have any troubles, you must tell either me or Yang," Lao Qiao said.

"Yes, Lao Yang is particularly good at comforting others!" Lao Yang said confidently, with a touch of goofiness that sharply contrasted with his crisp military uniform.

Hua Yan burst into laughter at Lao Yang's quirky behavior, saying, "Alright, if I have any problems, I'll definitely come to you, Lao Yang, for comfort... By the way, you haven't eaten either, have you? Let's go to the canteen together. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse."