Two vampires were raping children while having dinner when one let out a heavy sigh as it came into a ten-year-old girl. Vampire A said, "What's wrong, B?" Vampire B said, despondently, "I hate spicy blood." A said, "Well, then try the vanilla one."
"Oh my god Brian this is a nightmare in a world where vampires rape children and drink their blood. This is what happens when we don't persecute the vampires." Bob said.
"Hahaha, good one. Can you make out what they're saying?" said Brian to Bob as he looked through his binoculars at the vampires raping underage children and feasting on their blood from 300 meters away.
"Check it out, this one doesn't smell so good." said vampire A to vampire B.
"Hmm yeah it smells rotten. Hey boy, what did you do?" said B to the boy that it was smelling.
"I-I ran away from home after stealing my parents' money." replied the boy sheepishly.
"Haha. So that's why your blood smells like shit. Feed him to the ghouls." said B to the human workers. And then the boy was dragged away and thrown into the ghoul pits where he was instantly set upon and devoured by a group of ravenous ghouls.
"Innocent, obedient children are the best." said B to A. A nodded in agreement and told the human workers to go catch more innocent, obedient children for him. Unfortunately the children those incompetent morons caught were usually delinquents or runaways who liked to wander around after curfew hours, and did not smell so good. "We need to hire more competent child-catchers or else upgrade our agreement with the mayor" vampire B thought to itself.
"How much vitae was extracted this week?" asked A to the human workers.
"A-about 12 litres" replied the head worker. He was responsible for ensuring that the continuous extraction from the children went smoothly without any interruptions.
"Let me have a taste." A said and the head worker made a gesture for his underlings to fetch the jars of vitae extracted from children that week. The vitae extracted from children was usually better tasting and more pure than the vitae extracted from adults, though in very rare cases there were adults who also had very pure vitae. The vampires hypothesized that this greater purity was due to the fact that children were more sensitive to pain than adults. They tested this hypothesis by catching some children who had a higher pain tolerance than other children and confirmed that these children indeed produced less vitae and of lower quality than the children who were more sensitive. However, the vampires also found that even children with higher pain tolerance than adults produced higher quality vitae than those adults, which they attributed to some other mystery factor that children possessed which adults did not have, and had planned further experiments to find out the nature of this mystery factor.
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Vampire A dipped one of its long bony fingers into one of the jars of vitae and had a taste. "This one's not bad, not bad at all." it said. "That one came from the 7 year old girl we captured 2 days ago, my lord" the head worker replied, "she has far exceeded the average amount of vitae extracted from a child of her age, my lord."
"Good, keep juicing her. How is the progress in making contact with the amnesia potion salesman?" asked A. "Unfortunately our men are still seeking for the rumored amnesia potion salesman. We have not yet succeeded in making contact with him." replied the head worker.
"You useless buffoons! It's already been 2 days and you still haven't found him yet!" shouted A in anger.
"Shall we make our appearance?" asked Brian to Bob. Bob nodded and Brian shot an arbalest bolt with a message wrapped around it into the midst of the vampires.
"Oh hey, we got mail." said vampire A as he picked up the arbalest bolt. "Let's see. 'I am the amnesia potion salesman. I am interested in selling amnesia potions for a fair price. As I am the only amnesia potion provider currently on the market, I would like to set the price at 50 gold pieces per vial. Each vial is sufficient for either an adult or a child."
"Haha what an idiot" said vampire A to vampire B. They then moved at preternatural speed tracing the trajectory of the arbalest bolt back to the position from which it was fired.
"Oh shit." Brian said as he suddenly noticed two vampires standing besides him.
"Yeah. You fucked up." said vampire A, "Give us the formula or you'll wish you were never born."
"I-I don't have the formula with me. It's at home" Brian said nervously.
A loud slapping sound rang out as vampire A slapped Brian across the face. Blood dripped from Brian's mouth.
"Fuck. I really don't have it!" Brian shouted. Then he was slapped some more and taken to the vampires' torture chamber. There he was tortured for a few minutes until he cracked and gave them the formula. He was then killed and fed to the ghouls.
Thus the formula for the amnesia potion was obtained by the vampires and they used it to great effect in improving their vitae production.
The End.