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Gods of Boredom

"It smells like moldy warthog bum in here." A small voice echoed in the large citadel.

The air in the room stank with a pungent stench of frustration. The beings gathered in the room were either staring at each other or down at their twiddling thumbs. The room lacked decoration, but the overly pleasing architecture more than made up for it.

"Albris, please." Someone muttered under their breath.

The deep monotone voice bounced off the high domed ceiling, which was held up by perfectly hand-sculpted columns. They contrasted brilliantly with the carved stone walls that depicted harsh histories of old wars and tragedies. This was a place made by kings to impress the gods above them. Unfortunately, the gods that were currently inside the extraordinary temple were not impressed.

The gods sat in bitter silence, each waiting for the other to officially begin the meeting. None of them wanted to address the obvious flaws in their new world. So, there they sat, silently brooding. Until suddenly the air in the room shifted, as the small girl who sat at the head of the table sighed.

She seemed a bit out of place with her frilly sky-blue dress, and perfectly curled blonde hair that came to her shoulders.

The other gods shifted in their seats to face her. They all sat in unique thrones that reflected their persona, one of decaying skulls, another of fluffy throw pillows, a gnarly oak tree throne, a simple hard stone chair, and even one of solidified dark blood formed into a chair-like shape. The girl sat on a pure white cloud, her delicate legs crossed comfortably on the small nimbus.

The girl sighed again, her small hands cupping her face. She pushed on her cheeks to blow a gust of wind from her mouth, completely oblivious to the other gods glaring down at her.

A hand smacked down on the marble top table with such force it caused the stone to fracture.

"Well?" One of the glaring gods broke the silence. This one had the head of a jackal, his sharp canines gritted in annoyance. "Do you have something to say, Albris?" This god sat in a throne forged with weapons of war.

The girl looked up slowly to lock eyes with the God of War, her eyes held galaxies worth of stars. "... Ankhu." She uttered the God's true name. Her voice wasn't as childish as her appearance, it had a soft monotone that could chill a mortals' soul.

"Albris." Ankhu replied, his patience completely deteriorating. His voice was deep and craggy, it always sounded as if he were always on the verge of shouting or snarling, which he did often.

He was always quick to anger, but Albris always had the skill to press on his buttons in a way that put him on the edge. "If you have something to say, then say your piece now!" One of his jackals like ears twitched in anticipation. "And cease that damned sighing!"

Despite her small physique and childish appearance, she was one of the oldest beings in the room. The gods liked to think they ruled themselves, but they couldn't help but listen whenever she spoke or gave counsel.

Albris groaned inwardly. "Ankhu, I'm bored!" She then flopped backwards, her cloud shifted to ensure she didn't fall.

Ankhu rolled his eyes at the Life goddesses' childish behavior. The other gods chuckled lightly at the display.

"I believe the phrase is... preaching to the choir?" A cloaked woman sitting beside Albris chortled lightly. Her features were hidden behind the hooded robe she wore, but the part of her face that could be seen was beautiful. Ivory white shin, a sharp chin, high cheekbones, silky black hair, and luminous green eyes. Her throne was of dry bones and decaying skulls. She was death in physical form.

"Indeed, Lady Lorne." A haughty voice shrilled. This god sat in an overly lush pile of throw pillows, her slender legs splayed to the side so one could get a full view of her perfect figure. Her geisha-like makeup crumpling into a frown. "We've come a long way since we escaped that... other world." Her supple lips twisted when she mentioned their original home. "But, this place..." She waved a hand all around her, "It's just... There's, like, no excitement. It's totally bland!"

"Escaped?" A soft voice spoke up. "Really, Asai? You make it sound like anyone cared if we left..." This god had a smooth angular face, long pointed ears, and elegant elk-like antlers sprouted from the top of its head. This God's features seemed both feminine and masculine, in mortal terms it would be called hermaphrodite. But gender norms mean little to gods. The Deity of Nature decided to make its physical appearance gender-less.

It reached a hand to the center of the table they all sat around, its hand grasped the globe that was a perfect miniature replica of the realm they had created together. "Should we just wipe it clean and start over?" It tilted its head to the shadowy figure sitting beside it.

The shadows white eyes stared greedily at the globe, black snake like tendrils sprouted from the creature and reached for the globe. This was the god that sat in the throne of blood. He was not like the other gods, he didn't speak, and had no real features besides his shadowy form.

He was something new. A new born god, with no myth or legend to help shape him into anything. Though he did seem to have one personality trait, a thirst for destruction.

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"Uvara, no!" Ankhu called out like he was scolding a misbehaving pup.

The black tendrils stopped short of touching the small globe, it looked innocently at Ankhu. Its white eyes pleading silently to be fed.

"No, Uvara." Ankhu snapped and then turned to the others. "We can't just destroy the world; the minor gods would throw a fit."

Mailte glared at Ankhu. "What do I care how the minor gods feel? They only exist because of our actions! They best remind themselves of their place, beneath me."

"I believe you mean US, dear cousin. They are beneath US." Asai said with a rise in her silky voice. "I hope all those cultists you've been nurturing haven't caused your head to grow too large."

"You're one to talk! All those nightly visits to your temple at Thelin Port, I'm surprised you haven't contracted something at this point!"

"You damned hellkite!" Asai leapt from her pillow throne, twin daggers glistened into her hands. "I always wondered what color your blood was. Is it green? With nature gods, you never know. Perhaps it's brown, because you're so full of shit!"

Mailte stood in response, with a flick of its wrist an oak staff with a crystallized rose at the end appeared in its hand. The rose glowed with intense power. "Another word, one more word. And I will-"

"Do nothing!"

Both gods snapped to the voice. Albris stood on her cloud, arms crossed as she glared at them both. Even the cloud she stood on began to grow gray and small bolts of energy crackled around it.

"Sit. Down." Albris said through gritted teeth.

"But-" Both gods said in unison.

"I said," Albris slammed her foot on her cloud. "Sit! Down!" She stomped with each word, with every stomp a boom of thunder would sound throughout the room. "Now! We are here to have a civilized meeting! I won't have you two ruin it with your bickering like you did last millennium. Sit. Oh, and apologize."

The gods hung their heads in shame, looked to each other to mumble a weak apology then settled themselves back into their thrones. Their weapons evaporating into nothing. Albris looked at the two gods, then nodded. Pleased by their compliance she slumped back into her cloud throne, which had shifted back to a calm white.

"As I was going to say," Ankhu said, breaking the silence. "I may have an idea, something that could entertain us for a while."

A groan filled the room, Albris sat up and shook her head in dismay causing her blonde curls to bounce. "Not another war!" She pouted. "They all end the same, with death. You and Lorne get to enjoy the gore, but what about Mailte, Asai, and I?"

"She has a point, Ankhu." Lorne cut in. "Even I see the constant warring as tedious."

"And I know that you're doing something sneaky with that Empire of yours." Albris glared at the war god accusingly.

Ankhu gave a wolfish grin, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Now, do you want to hear my idea or not?"

Asai waved her hand absentmindedly, ushering Ankhu to just get it over with.

Ankhu gnashed his teeth at the love goddess's attitude but went on just the same. "Well, I have been studying our new world and have noticed something that is missing..." He paused for dramatic affect. "Humans."

The other gods groaned and spat in disgust. Ankhu just held his hand up to silence their whining. "Now, I know that was the main reason we left Earth. But the creatures we've created in their stead are far too... predictable." He looked to the other gods, they had stopped their whining now. "Human beings on the other hand have something that makes them so fun to toy with."

"Their freedom of will. The creatures we've made have a sort of free will but since they are our creations, they are easily controllable." Albris said, her tone finally serious.

"Humans on the other hand..." Lorne spoke up, arching an eyebrow.

Albris cut her off with a huff and an eye roll. "But we've tried that before and they ruined it, like they always do. Warred themselves to near extinction! We give them an entire world and they devolve to fighting among each other, ruining their opportunity and our fun."

The other gods nodded in agreement.

Ankhu shook his head. "No, what I'm proposing isn't we that make our own again. I suggest we take... His."

The room grew silent. The other gods hadn't spoken of that person in centuries, the person who was the true reason they had left Earth behind. Thinking of him now, they didn't know how to feel. Anger? Fear? Or maybe even love? It was a cyclone of emotions that made them all uncomfortable.

Knowing he had their undivided attention, Ankhu continued. "His humans have something ours never did. I suggest we take them, just a few. One for each of us, to entertain us and see how they mingle with our creations-"

"He'll find out!" Asia interrupted. "He'll see us, and everything would come crashing down!" Panic creeping into her usual nonchalant voice. "He'll wipe us out entirely! And erase our creations, all that time and effort..."

"Not if we are careful..." Lorne placed a bony finger to her sharp chin in thought. "Very careful." She was just as afraid as Asai, but she'd be a liar to not admit that she was liking what Ankhu had in mind.

"We won't be able to control them, not like we can with the others." Albris smiled, "They'll be truly free to affect our world as they see fit, but we could direct them..." She pulled a strand of her curly hair. "Oh, how I missed tampering with humans!"

So, we each get to pick our own human?" Lorne inquired. "We should just take one for each of us to start, don't want to pull any unwanted attention."

"Now this," Mailte said. "This could be interesting..." A small grin began to spread on the deity's thin lips.

Uvara's tentacles lashed out with excitement.

"Don't worry, you'll get a human as well." Lorne tutted.

Albris's star filled eyes began to twinkle with excitement. "Perhaps we could make a game out of it!"

"Oh!" Asai's mood perked up. "I do like games, perhaps it could be a competition?"

Again, the wolfish grin on Ankhu's face reappeared. This was going exactly how he planned it, the other gods were easier to convince than he'd thought.

"Oh, there's that damn grin of his," Lorne hissed.

"W-what do you mean!?" Ankhu began to sputter.

"Oh hush." Asai waved a hand at him. "We all know you love to concoct your schemes."

"What is it this time?" Mailte sneered. The nature deity has never fully trusted the sneaky God of War.

They all began to glare into him then. Their intense stares could have fried a mortal’s body and extinguished its soul. But to the God of War it barely made a bead of sweat take form in his furry brow.

"Oh, that's enough!" Albris shouted. "Fine, keep your secrets. I have plans of my own!" An explosion of star alighted her eyes, she was excited. "This is going to be wicked!" She pumped her small fist in the air.

"A competition amongst gods is bound to have a few secrets in the shadows." Lorne nodded sagely.

"Bah!" Asai scoffed. She then stood from her pillow throne. "I'm no goddess of secrets! If you all must know..."

"We really don't." Mailte cut in.

"I'm going to turn my little human puppet into a king! A powerful one! And make him fall for me! Ha!" She then began to prance and spin like a perfect ballerina. 

The others rolled their eyes, they had grown accustomed to the Love goddesses’ strange antics. 

"Now," Ankhu cooed. "Here's how we'll do it..."

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