I miss Alexis already T.T.
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I took my knife and sliced up a tongue, the trick to it is just to add salt to water and boil it until the cows come home, which would be a long time considering its cow’s tongue I was slicing here. After you do that, it’s like the greatest form of ham, f*ck parma ham, not even close to being as nice as tongue, though we’re talking about genuine stuff here.
Not the stuff you’d find in a plastic supermarket packet. So I cut a few slices from the tongue, the thinner the better, and I cut a croissant in two, layering the tongue inside, I put it aside for the minute, and turned the oven on to heat up.
While that was heating up I took out a ball of mozzarella from my fridge. Opening the packet and draining the insides, I put it onto the chopping board and cut it into slices, I ate a couple of the smaller slices and put a few in the croissant.
Then I took out a tomato and cut it into slices to eat with the rest of the mozzarella.
I put my croissant in the oven and took a few leaves from my windowsill basil plant. I plated the mozzarella and tomato slices, drizzling a bit of olive oil on top, I ripped the basil leaves and spread them over, I ate one since it was done, yup, delicioso. Turning the oven off, I took out my croissant, yup nice and toasted, the cheese was melted nicely, I was gonna really enjoy this breakfast, boy do I love breakfast.
*Sigh*
It had been a week since I had seen or heard from Alexis, I had been spending most of my time in the game so I wouldn’t miss her when she came back, and when I say a week, I mean real time. More than a month had passed in game and it felt like that long without her, ugh, my f*cking debt was getting bigger too. So much other stuff had happened, it’s hard to know where to start. Well first I would start on this amazing breakfast and log back into the game.
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I was sitting in my leather chair in the white room, it seems that if you were in an area you owned, you could leave your body behind to get messages and alerts when things happen in game. So currently I was browsing the forums for information while waiting for to see if Alexis would come.
But today would be the day I would leave this place to try find some way to get strong enough to fight the boss solo, or find another teammate to help me with it. Oh right, and I went back to that desk where we found the letter and underneath was the black chest it mentioned, it could fit in my inventory and I could take it out, I assume if I died it counts under the items lost.
It seems that people had already begun to get their classes though, and thanks to that the official AoE forums had been opened, your username was a special deed title that would update as you did more things in the game. Whenever you added someone as a friend or requested them to join your party they would see your title, and the biggest bit of all, was that the official forums had top 10 ranking boards which listed player by their deed title.
There were all sorts, obviously the big top 10 players was the main, they also had smaller boards for class types, like warrior, rogue, archer, mage and healer archetype boards, they had gear boards, spell and skill boards, and these split even further to things like fire or ice spell boards. I couldn’t wait to get on it, but I needed my class first, oh here are the current top 10 players if you were interested.
1. The Dragon-slaying Blue Oni
2. The Bloodsand Gladiator
3. The Shadow’s whisper
4. The Dragon-crushing Red Oni
5. The Grave Robber
6. The Harbinger of Justice
7. The Chaos Magician
8. The Ironclad Boulder
9. The Defender of Nature
10. The Ghost Tamer
Yeah, the forums were blowing up about the possible identity of the top players, and theories about how they got their name, in general people were very interested in whether or not the two Oni had managed to actually slay a dragon already, according to the forums they had arrived on the board with the dragon slayer titles. Apparently the average person got a fairly annoying name like; Bent-Sword for hire, Unreliable Hunter, Barely Average Mage, Two-Bit Thief, and plenty of worse names as well.
Another thread had caught my interest as well.
The Chaos Magician: It is the Great I, Andreas Le Fay here, with more secret top player info. Players who reach level 25 as novice get a curse of sorts, once they get their class, they get 500 bonus HP and Mana, but be careful! You lose 50% of all xp until you reach double the level you were at as a novice. Jajaja, too bad the majority of you suck too hard to get this amazing curse, why can’t you be more like me l-o-l. This info was mainly for other top players, I personally haven’t seen any benefit past level 30. Btw feel free to worship me silly peons. (ｰ̀εｰ́)
Barely Average Mage: yeah right you’re probably lying no way you could get to level 30 as a novice, you’re effectively only level 1, I mean like what does this game even want?
Static Electricity Summoner: All hail based mage god Andreas!
The Archivist: Actually, DaProfessor here, I can confirm this, it’s called chains of the gods, it’s evidently to not allow top players to enter the starting game content and monopolize it, before the vast majority of players get the opportunity to enter it, we were going to post about it in a meta post once we knew more about it. Btw BAM, don’t be too down, as long as you can improve your game your title will improve, if you join Knights of the Testing Realm we can help you do that.
Static Electricity Summoner: So shameless lol!
Wannabe Arsonist: Yeah DaProfessor, plugging your guild in someone else’s thread is a bit…
Ugh damn that’s annoying, since Alexis had left I had actually found a way to fight the warrior elites. Initially I had just wanted to level up my steal skill, but what I found is I would end up stealing either their physical bones or weapon, one time I stole a vertebrae and the skeleton got severed in half, it was still full health, but it lost access to its legs, long story short I had managed to get level 35, that curse was gonna be a major pain.
Someone is trying to contact you in game.
“Zeke, wake up.”
As I logged back in I could feel hands on my chest shaking me.
“Zeke.”
I opened my eyes, and a glorious sight greeted me, Alexis had mounted me, and she was still wearing the black towel from my onsen.
I started to move my arms upwards to hug her.
“No, don’t move, you’re not allowed to touch me, you touch me and I leave.”
“You should’ve told me about her, before you played with my feelings.”
“Alexis, I nev- “
*Smack*
With all her strength she left a stinging imprint of her hand on my cheek.
“No, you don’t get to say anything, you don’t get to waggle that tongue that says all the right words with the wrong intentions.”
With a cheeky grin, then opening my mouth as if I was saying something, without making any noise I just wiggled my tongue a bit, acting surprised, as if I didn’t know why my voice wasn’t working.
*giggle*
She fell onto my chest as though her strength left her.
“Oh my god, I hate you, you don’t even have to use words or touch me do you?”
*sigh*
“I don’t know I just can’t help myself, you’re so bad for me, but it just makes me want you more.”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I cried for five days you know.”
That wiped the grin off my face.
“So you do have a conscience. Well I’ve decided.”
“I’m going to ask you yes or no questions until I'm satisfied, it’ll decide what our relationship from now on is, if it's anything. If I feel you as though you’ve lied to me or you give me answer that isn’t yes or no, we’re never talking again and I’ll leave.”
“Would you ever lie to me?”
Without blinking I answered this one.
“No.”
“We’re not getting very far now are we? *sigh* Well you’ve not given me any reason to believe otherwise though, and you told me about your teacher and the tattoo *sigh*.”
“Have you ever lied to me?”
“No.”
“Did you not tell me about your magic teacher because I didn’t ask?”
“Yes.”
“Is there anything else like this that you aren’t telling me like this that I should know?”
“Yes.”
“Are you a murderer?”
“No.”
“Have you ever hurt someone badly?”
“Yes.”
She was shocked at this point, but it seemed like she wanted to justify my actions, as though she couldn’t believe I would hurt someone.
“Did they do something to hurt you?”
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“No.”
She was disgusted at this.
“Will they ever get better?”
“Yes.”
“Did you intentionally do it?”
I gave her the most sincere look I could.
“No…”
She began to blush.
“Was it me who you hurt?”
“Yes.”
*SMACK*
She gave my other cheek a matching mark.
“You idiot, I get that you feel sorry, so answer my questions properly.”
“Have you ever hurt someone other than me badly?”
“No.”
“Is there still an important thing I need to ask?”
“Yes.”
She seemed to have realised what I was hinting at.
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Yes.”
Tears started welling up with in her eyes, and her tone became half a shout and half a sob.
“A real girlfriend! Not your magic teacher?”
“Yes.”
“Does she know about you!?”
“Yes.”
“She’s okay with this?!”
“Yes.”
“Are you lying to me?”
“No.”
A mutter she didn’t intend for me to hear slipped out.
“She’s okay with it…”
“So she definitely knows you have relationships with other girls?”
She seemed to have calmed down.
“Yes.”
“Does she even love you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you love her?
“Yes.”
“She’s seen you with other girls?”
“Yes.”
“Does she have other boyfriends?”
“No.”
Her blush reached her ears.
“Has you and her… and another girl… ever, ummm… shared a bed?”
“Yes.”
It seems she didn’t know what to think at this point, we froze in place for a few minutes before she regained her
composure.
“So I’m not a casual fling to you?”
“No.”
“Did you intend to seduce me when we met?”
“No.”
“So you’re saying you just wanted me to join your guild?”
“Yes.”
“So you’re saying what happened between us, happened because I let it?”
“Yes.”
“So you would do this with any girl?”
“No.”
“Would you do this with any girl who you wanted to join your guild?”
“No.”
“Even if she was pretty?”
“No.”
“If she wanted you to?”
“Yes.”
“So under the right conditions you would seduce a girl?”
“Yes.”
“Would you tell them about the others?”
“Yes.”
“So why didn’t you tell me, did just think we were having fun or something?”
“Yes.”
“What part of my feelings were fun to you?”
I could only stare at her solemnly at this.
“*sigh*, that wasn’t a yes or no question, was it?”
“Yes.”
She pondered for a moment.
“Did things go too fast, before you found the right time to tell me?”
With a sad tone I replied.
“Yes.”
“Do you love your NPC magic teacher then?”
“No.”
She was completely flabbergasted at this one, as if she couldn’t understand my reasoning.
“No… I get it now.”
“Does she love you?”
“Yes.”
“Hmmm I see.”
“Would you have ended things with her, if I asked you to and she didn’t love you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you treat NPCs and humans differently?”
“Yes.”
“So the final question, do you really love me?”
“Yes.”
She got back up, effectively mounting me, her hands on my chest.
“I’ve made my decision.”
“I hate you.”
“Tell me, what are your other lover’s names?”
“Yes?”
“God, I hate you.”
“Everything’s so wrong, yet you make me feel like it’ll be alright.”
“You’re right I don’t want to know their names, I wanted a reason to be mad at you, if you broke my rule, I would have
left.”
“But you just have be right about everything don’t you?”
“Yes.”
*Smack*
The stinging returned to the first cheek again.
“There that’s three hits, one hit for not telling me about the other’s, a second for still not telling me until after we got intimate in the onsen.”
She licked her lips seductively.
“And the last one.”
She bent over me and kissed the cheek she had just slapped.
“That’s for making me fall helplessly in love with a wolf.”
She didn’t linger and got back up to her mounted position.
“So now we have to decide what to do with our relationship, oh, and you can talk now.”
“Alexis, I’ve said it before, if you want to be just friends, we can, but obviously I’d love to be something more.”
“But I have to accept the other girls don’t I”
“Yes, I won’t turn my back on any girl who truly loves me.”
“Mm, so you say, but you’re really up to no good.”
“Then I have some conditions of my own you have to accept, if you want us to be more than friends.”
“If I can accept them I will.”
“After your class quest you can’t do anything bad.”
“Depends, if someone tried to hurt you, I would have to do something bad.”
“*sigh* Why did I let you talk again? Fine I’ll let that one go, but if you don’t accept the others I’m leaving.”
“We spend a lot of time in this game and this where I spend the majority of my time with you, you can’t have any more girlfriends than the size of a party, which is seven, and you can’t ever invite another person to our party unless one of them permanently leaves, I don’t care about NPCs, but you can’t have too many real girls.”
Mm she raises a good point, even if I had infinite stamina I couldn’t handle 99 wives, and travelling around with enough girls to form a party sounds fine.
“I can accept that, but I have a male best friend, not a lover, who I want to play with eventually, how does this work out for your condition.”
“As long as none of us get kicked out of the party at any point in the game, I’ll consider it as you loving us equally with all your heart, so you’re saying you’ll only take 6 at most.
“Fine, I accept.”
“Hmm, I honestly didn’t expect you to accept it so easily, now I’m fifty percent convinced, but there’s still more.”
“I love my older sister more than anything in this world, she’s always been there for me, when I’m ill she takes care of me, and when she’s ill I take care of her, our bond is closer than anyone else’s in the world, we haven’t spent a single day apart. As you know she’s been taking care of and protecting me since I was a child.”
She looked at me for confirmation.
“Yeah, I know.”
“I can’t make a decision… or rather I know you’re bad for me, but still I want to throw myself into your arms. So after we finish our quest I’ll bring my sister here as planned, and you’ll have to convince her to make the decision on what we are. It will also give me more time to think about my feelings more, so I might not come back. Until then we’re just friends, you’re not allowed to touch me, or even flirt with me, or I leave.”
“Okay, but in regards to your sist-“
“I’ll accept any decision she makes, but I won’t ever forgive, you if you ever, ever, lie to us.”
“I’ll never lie to someone I love.”
“Hmph, if you’re going to try seduce my sister, don’t think it’ll be so easy, she’s a completely different person to me.”
“I won’t do anything like that, seducing someone for the sake of things, if anything happens it’s because she wants it to.”
She slammed both of her fists down on my chest.
“I hate you, I don’t know if I wanted anything like this.”
“The heart wants what it wants.”
She sunk back down and began to hug my stomach.
“*sigh* I’d have probably fallen for you even if you told me what I was getting into at the start, you’re too glib, why does every word that comes out of your mouth make me feel better?”
“Because I do care about you.”
“Just prove it to me, okay, actions speak louder than words.”
“Does that mean I can hug you back now?”
“Nope!”
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Thank goodness Alexis is back, gonna put a poll in, I'll answer next chapter.
Yawn more people downvoting me because of silly reasons.
A)I'm entitled to my opinions, if you dont think that, don't even review just leave.
B) What I said didn't happen in the chapter, thus there's no reason to downvote, if I had said it somewhere else on the forums would you have come to find my fiction to downvote it?
C) Business shouldn't have been fixing his votes, no matter how much you enjoyed his fiction.
D)If I had a fragile ego I could go fix my votes but I aint, gone down to 4.3 instead of the previous 4.7.
Thank goodness I do it for the views, follows and favorites and not the cookies.
Tbh I'm kinda glad they're getting rid of it, hope the new system is better.
Oh might as well downvote me for that too I guess, w/e.