A/N: I made significant changes to the ending of the previous chapter so you might want to check that out. If you read it before the edit, well congratulations, you've discovered a spoiler. But I guess you can figure it out from context anyway.

----------------------------------------

I think I’m getting the habit of waking up in weird places. I’ve woken up between corpses, swords, and now some magic books. At least this time I’m not surrounded by death, or things used to cause said death. Character development or something like that I guess.

But enough of that. Let’s get to the good stuff. Unlimited Blade Works. A reality marble that has the ability to record all kinds of blades imaginable, plus some shields and armor here and there. In and of itself, it’s already quite the powerful ability. Coupled with the existence of Noble Phantasms, then it's the marriage of the century.

It can turn a failure of a mage like Shirou, to one capable of defeating Gilgamesh, arguably strongest Heroic Spirit, in seven days. Of course we're conveniently ignoring the fact that he is the "perfect counter" to said Heroic Spirit, that Rin was providing him the energy needed, and that Gilgamesh was pretty much playing with him the whole time, but still. It's without a doubt, an incredible ability.

"Now somebody has put that ability in my hands". I half whispered. I'm kind of testing too if my body will have another unpleasant reaction again by speaking out loud. The last time I said anything after all, I thought I was going to die.

When nothing bad happened, I let out a sigh of relief. Perhaps as long as I stay away from Shirou's chants, then I'm safe. This includes the previously tested Trace On and most likely, also I am the bone of my sword. If Trace On had such a severe effect on this body, then I don't want to know what would happen if I tried My body is made out of blades. I would test that on another day.

----------------------------------------

I started by having some beef as breakfast, bringing a book along with me. In fact I’ve been bringing a book along with me wherever I go. I read while eating, I read while exploring the castle, and you bet I read while using the toilet. Just like that, the sun set, and the stars and the moon took its place. This time, I’m ready to try activating my circuits again.

Last night was a painful lesson on what can happen when magecraft goes wrong. If Shirou has experienced even half of that pain when he’s creating magic circuits from nerves, then that guy was truly fucked in the head doing that for years. It just goes to show how much of a broken person he is. I most definitely do not want to have a repeat of that experience. I guess in the end my mistake did lead me to discovering Unlimited Blade Works, so it's not all that bad.

Last night’s “attempt” of activating my magic circuits, if you could even call it that, was half assed at best. I wasn’t really even trying to do it. I just went through the motions of visualizing a trigger, then coupled it with a chant I knew. I didn’t even expect it to work.

From what I read, activating your magic circuits for the first time usually involves rituals to assist. Making the process mostly painless and safe. Problem is, I don’t have the least bit of clue on how to do those rituals. The books didn’t really go in depth with it since it’s considered common knowledge. What they did explain however is the theory behind it. The ritual allows the magus to be more sensitive towards magical energies for a short period of time. And by performing it in a high magical density environment such as their workshop, the odds of success raises up dramatically.

Once they get the feel of activating their circuits for the first time, they can remember the sensations they felt and replicate it without assistance. You can’t really teach how to feel for magic because you simply can’t. It’s a completely different sense the human body isn’t familiar with. How do you teach a person who’s been blind all their life what the color red is? One can only experience it to understand. Only then afterwards can a magus feel it with their human senses, like Shirou “smelling” magic.

Now how do I start feeling for something that I can’t physically sense without the aid of rituals? Well the good thing is, I kind of already did, last night in fact. I’m just going off guesswork here but I’m almost certain that whatever happened back then would require some use of magic on my part, so I’m not totally alien to the sensation. I’ll just have to replicate the feeling again.

It’s best to use a different trigger if I am to do this again. And if I needed a chant to help, it’s best to use a different one too. Don’t want a repeat performance after all. So I have to think of a shocking trigger event that I can visualize easily, without it being common enough that I would accidentally use magecraft.

The first thing I thought of was falling to my death. But then I remembered dreaming of falling all the time. I don’t fancy inadvertently using magecraft in my sleep. Getting stabbed is also out since I’ll be using swords a lot from now on. I do remember back in my previous life when an earthquake hit our location. It was quite devastating, and some of our neighbors actually perished. Fortunately, all of my family was safe. But ever since then, I thought of what would happen if the earth fissured and swallowed me up.

That imagination of mine stuck with me till my adulthood, so I can visualize the feeling quite easily. Trigger decided, I let myself remember the feeling of last night’s unexpected use of magecraft. Problem was, the only thing I remembered feeling was the unbearable pain. It overwhelmed every other sense I would’ve felt. But I did remember the direction the pain came from. I can work with that.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

I closed my eyes to visualize better. I then tried to bring up the thought of the earth opening violently. Toppling my buildings, crushing lives. I thought of the fissure splitting directly beneath me, swallowing my body up, and then crushing me. With that as a trigger, I then attempt to replicate the feeling I had when I used magic last night. I remembered the pain originating from the bottom of my spine, crawling up to the back of my eyes. I did all that and opened my eyes to find.. Nothing. Nothing happened.

“Huh”. I whispered. I guess I should’ve expected that magic wasn’t so easy. Where did it go wrong? Perhaps I didn’t visualize it enough? Nothing to do but try again.

And so I spent the night like that, attempting over and over again to activate my circuits. In the process, I tried many different things and versions of my method. I tried shortening the trigger, I tried even changing it completely. At some point, I tried to use chants as help, but none of the chants really worked, or even felt my own personal chant. Even the trusty Abra Kadabra chant didn’t help, nor my Kamehameha attempt. I even tried doing it in the cold room, since I know there was a magic circle there, I thought it might help, to no avail.

I hypothesized that I never really captured the feeling of using magecraft last night. Which makes sense, since I wasn’t really paying attention. So if that’s the problem, how do I fix it? Well it’s obvious, I’d do the same thing again.

Now I can’t emphasize enough how painful the experience was. That’s the kind of stuff that scars you mentally for life. But if I have to do it again to figure out magic then I’d gladly go through it. I’ll make sure that this time however, I’ll remember every detail of how the mystical side felt so I won’t go through it again. Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself mentally. I even laid in bed for when I pass out again. And so on my second night on another planet, I said the magic words. “Trace On”.

Immediately, I felt my body locking up again. My muscles are freezing, bulging, holding me in place. Then the familiar pain came, spreading from the bottom of my spine, towards the back of my eyeballs, then to the rest of my body. The similarities from last night ended there however. Because this time, I didn’t pass out and woke up in my reality marble.

This is infinitely much scarier and tortuous. At least last time I had the luxury of not feeling the pain anymore. This time, I was trapped in my own body, unable to move but fully aware. The pain never ended, refreshing itself in waves.

There are many things I regret in my life, such as never getting the courage to even talk to my high school crush and turning down a job transfer. But by far, me deciding that this was a good idea has propelled itself into the number one spot. I could feel every little bit of pain this was causing, and I could do nothing about it. Except, this was what I wanted didn’t I? The opportunity to experience how my magic worked, and I’m given front row seats to it. I just have to look through the pain, and figure out the workings of the thaumaturgy.

And so I did just that. Hours ticked by me just staring at the ceiling. In the bouts of focus I manage to gather occasionally, I studied and prodded my body, trying to grasp a new sensation that wasn’t there yet. By the end of it, my eyes were burning, and the bed was soaked from my sweat, and possibly piss. I wouldn’t care either way at this point.

It’s poetic really, like I’m some kind of anime character. Which in some ways is true now. Because by the time the sun started to rise again, the pain was just about to fade away and finally allowing me sweet unconsciousness, I found it. A whole new world just opened up to me. It was like an old friend that has been there for you all along, but just forgot about it. Another limb that has been dormant that regained blood flow. As soon as it appeared however, it’s gone.

It doesn’t matter. I remember now how it felt, and I know I can call upon it again. The sensation of magic remained on my skin. Whereas Shirou can sense magic with his nose, I can feel it through the vibrations it creates. It travels through the air, ground and water, and my skin ever so sensitive can pick up on it. Satisfied with the results, I decided to rest. This time on a soft bed.

----------------------------------------

The next day I woke up feeling fulfilled. Despite the pain I went through, I found myself smiling unconsciously. It was unbearable torture for sure, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, but the payoff was simply incredible.

I tested my newfound ability quickly. This time using my own personal trigger. The earth swallowed me up in my mind, and the sensation of my magical circuits came alive. They felt warm, like the heat coming from a screen. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on them, studying them intently. I don’t have many books to get basic information from, so I have to get every scrap of knowledge I can get on my own.

The feeling of my circuits is mesmerizing, knowing I have the ability to bend reality at my fingertips. I guess it’s not unreasonable to think that magi have grown arrogant, seeing as they have this superior innate abilities compared to the common man.

I tried to feel for my circuits again. Really feel for them this time. I studied where they began and ended. I felt them branching off from the center of my being, turning into circuits that I know. The picture of their presence in my body becoming clearer and clearer as I go even deeper.

Is this.. Structural grasping? It seems like it, but so far I can only study my own circuits. I tried to expand its scope, only to fail. So it’s not really structural grasping, but something very similar. I then felt for my circuits again, this time the picture was clear enough for me to differentiate them. I counted them one by one, and got the number 32.

32 magic circuits. That is quite the great number, and is well above average. I know that Shirou has 27 of them, and that was considered a lot though of poor quality. The quality of my own circuits is unknown since I don’t have anything to compare it to.

This has been all so worth it. Working towards something you want, suffering for it, but getting the payoff. My previous life has been nothing but a monotonous cycle of waking up for work, eating, shit, and getting barely enough pay.

It wasn’t a sad life by any means, but I was never really working towards anything, not having a goal. That’s been the story of my life I guess. Not knowing what I want. This situation I find myself in. Whether it was through happenstance or the machinations of a higher being, you have my gratitude.

“Right, enough of that sappy shit. Time to start my day. I still have to figure out how to survive.”

Now that I can activate my circuits, I must decide on what to learn on my path of magecraft. Except, I don’t really need to decide since Shirou already paved the way for me. As much as I would like to be creative, when the path to success is in front of me, I have no choice but to take it. Being creative can come in the future after I learn more about magic and mastered the basics.

And so, I decided to learn all I can about Shirou’s major skill sets. Structural Grasping, Reinforcement and his special branch of Projection called Tracing. But first, breakfast. Hunger is the enemy after all.