I woke up as I heard the water splash quite hard, the fished were more active during the night, splashing around. The sound startled me. It seems like I slept for good three or four hours, as the fire was tiny and barely noticeable. Nothing a few sticks wouldn't make better.
My mind was still foggy and tired, but it was now easier to keep myself from falling asleep. Seems like everything was in-place, and I wasn't attacked. I saw the fish-bones on the ground, so I threw them into the fire, I didn't know what to do with them right now. The basket smelled of fish, I remembered why only a few moments later. I was still confused as to where I was, but slowly my mind caught up and the whole picture became clear.
"Oh right.. the fish trap" - Seems like brain decided to finish the half-made basket first, I didn't mind at all - go brain! You know your shit best.
Making the cone with no tip was a little bit harder than the basket itself, but the process was really similar. As the night crept through, washing the heat away with it's dark waters, I sat near the fire, weaving in the same manner as when I made the basket. Some trial and error was required to make the top part, but after a few hours and three burnt failing attempts, I made a somewhat decent doughnut-shaped cover, which would allow fish to easily enter the basket, but due to being narrower on the inside - would cause trouble for them to get out. Simple trap for simple creatures. One issue though, after the fishing session, I wasn't sure that these guys would fall for it. They did seem quite capable. Either way, I have attached the top to the basket, shoved a few sticks to hold it in place and left it be, the guts of the fish slowly rotting away. I really hoped that the fish would smell them and go for the easy food, but that would have to wait until the morning. I wouldn't leave this place right now, the camp felt a lot safer than the outside, so I stayed.
Truth be told, I worked on the fish trap during the night, only to wake myself up and not fall back into sleep deeply. I had decided to come up with a way to ration my sleep throughout the day and no other option came to mind so far. As it was, I was going to cut the sleep into smaller increments and spread them throughout the day.
As I sat in front of the fire, I fell asleep once more, but with no fatigue to keep me knocked out, I saw the nightmare again. The same one I've seen the other night. With the memories still this fresh, it felt real. It kept repeating itself in reverse, sped up and looping. I couldn't take my eyes off of it, and as such - I woke up covered in cold sweat. As you would expect - my heart was racing. Waking up from a nightmare was always followed by the same feeling of anxiety and irrational fear, but for me at the time, the fear was rational - the things in my nightmares were real and lurking somewhere. Hopefully far enough from where I was.
"Seems like I don't have to worry about sleeping too long.. oh lucky me.." - my voice sounded quite tired in my mind, that was a sign that all this shit was taking a toll on me. Well it's that and the fact that my stomach was grumbling as if I ate some really spicy food. Even though the morning was a few - six hours away, it was already light enough to make out everything on the ground. The darkest time of the nigh has passed, so I took the make-shift toilet paper, and waltzed through the bushes.
As I faced the hole I dug, curses came from my mouth. I nearly forgot that there could be clay in the soil here. It would be really bothersome to get my own shit out of the way if I would do what I was here for. Well - seems like there is more digging to be done, so I took some stick, moved fifteen steps away and dug a smaller one. Business had to be done -so yea.
New food can be annoying to get used to, and seems like it would take a few more trips to the hole to get used to the fish from the pond-lake. On the other hand- paper-leaf was a great substitute for toilet paper, soft but sturdy enough not to rip off too easily.
I felt a bit of a chill, as well as slight fever. Sunburns were setting in, and as such - I went to the stream to drink. Usually when I get sunburns- I feel the slight fever, and what's strange, my body feels cold even though the surface of the skin is burning up. I really hoped for it to get cooler, but it's not like I could control the weather or something. While it was still bearable, and the sun didn't rise - heating up the whole forest, I took the spear and went towards the pond bringing the trap along. I sunk it, digging the base into the mud a bit, so it wouldn't randomly pop-up on the surface and went along the coast to make some distance between myself and the basket.
Splashing noises occasionally accompanied my muffled grunts, as I was trying to spear some food for the day, or a few days. My hands burned, and I knew that by this time - the blisters were getting bigger. Despite the discomfort - I kept at it, as I wanted to catch something before the sun starts burning the living hell out of me. Apparently I have to get used to this, unless the fish trap works, all of my food will be coming from this pond.
"What's worse - I have no way to preserve the fish.. I think that drying fish still requires a lot of salt... note to self: if you have an option to choose a location where you will be stranded - choose something close to the sea. " - no way of preserving fish meant that I was stuck in a loop. Catch the fish, cook it on the fire - it will last one to two days maximum, so I have to catch more fish. That could become troublesome really quick.
My hands clamped up from exhaustion, despite that I had to keep this up. Quick rest wouldn't hurt though. I was still not used to this sort of exercise, well i was less than a week. Somehow it felt unnecessary to make such an excuse - it was simple, I was unfit - I had to overcome the muscle-sores and do what it takes.
The sun was already past the horizon. I didn't see it, but it was getting a lot lighter, so you don't need to be a genius to deduct this. Well- probably the other reason I didn't see the rising sun is that I wasn't looking in its direction, water and the fish dwelling within it were my only focus. Somehow the noises of the environment didn't dim or get quiet, on the contrary I could pick up a lot more sounds from the top of the trees. I bet these were birds, the chirping was present at all times. Seems like I was on alert even during fishing - that's really handy, of course if it isn't limited to the bird calls only.
Slap. The tip of the spear pierced the water and submerged instantaneously. It wasn't rocket science after all. I caught a fish - the spear pierced it from the side, dead on in the middle. With enough practice you inevitably get better.
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"Simple analogy would be any video game with some unusual controls. You are struggling in the beginning, getting confused and disoriented - as the game uses something different from what you used before that. The more you play, the more you get accustomed to the controls, and soon after - the movements become natural, so you don't even notice them." - I pulled the fish from the water, it dangles a bit, but the spear pierced some vital organs, so only a few weak spasms were the only movement it produced.
"When you get a hang of the controls, you begin getting better in the game. Soon after that it becomes apparent if you are just a casual scrub, or a normal player." - I threw the fish on the shore, it landed with a slight thud on the moss. Getting better at this game was my plan. It was a bit taxing on the body, which is an understatement by the way, as the palms of my hands looked like I was bitten by a few dozens of bees. I just hoped that these will be good blisters, not those that rip and eventually start bleeding. Yes- I was hoping for callous hands, it was better than coping with all of the skin from the palm peeling off.
More splashing of the water, the result wasn't a lucky shot, as after less than an hour I caught another scaly motherfucker. Twice the result from yesterday, quite good. The sun was up, and the heat began rising quite fast, so I didn't stay in the pond, which would heat up, smell and reflect sunlight straight in my face.
Yep, the pond smelled fishy to say the least. Even though I wouldn't drink from it, and would strongly advise against it - the fish was quite delicious, but that's my hunger speaking most likely. I doubt that there was any food I wouldn't find amazing right now.
Two fish- two times the gut cleaning. Love it, hate it, doesn't matter - it had to be done, so I did it, cleaned the fish and set it up near the fire, to cook. The guts from it would accompany the previous batch in the fish trap. I really hoped that the fish would go for the guts of their comrades. It's not like fish had anything against cannibalism, as far as I know. I mean I've seen fish in the fish tank eat each others fins, and that's off of a live one. But the fish of this world could be geniuses for all i cared, either way I was going to catch them and eat them. Unless they beg me for mercy - I won't show any. Sitting on the warm ground cross-legged, I thought about some really useless things while waiting for the fish to cook.
As I had nothing better to do, I went to the shithole I dug during the night. Good thing I remembered about it in the morning. Or- instead of clay I would be facing something less appealing. Well- the ground had a greyish color to it, and was a bit hard - like hard old cheese. I took a few pieces of the gray stuff and returned to camp, wetting a piece of cloth while I was near the stream.
"OK, so that really is clay." - Seems like I was getting a habit of talking to myself in my mind. I looked at the pliable piece of dirt in my hand, it was strong enough not to fall right apart. I quickly made something like a cup from it. Like - because it looked like a dog made it, and as far as I know - dogs don't make cups. It looked horrible, but nevertheless, I wasn't after aesthetics. What is important to find out - if the clay I found could be fired. Having clay available would change things quite a bit. For one- I could get some water boiling, and with the fish available - I could make a fish soup. No more wasting the scales, bones, fins and heads, everything will fill the water with the godly fish taste.
"I am hungry for more fish? Hunger does show a middle finger to the pickyness" - It was somewhat strange, as it's not like I was such a big fan of seafood or anything back home. Fish wasn't the least favorite food, but it wasn't in the top ten to be honest. The sudden food preference changes seemed somehow unnerving, but I didn't pay much attention to that.
The cup was left in the shade to dry. If I would try to fire it right away- it would explode from the inside due to sudden water evaporation. Not literally explode like a bomb, but rather crack and ruin all the efforts.
"Smells nice" - I sniffed the air, fish was ready. Moving closer to the fire-pit, I moved the cooked food away from the heat, removed the sticks that I used to prop them up. After I wrapped my dinner in the paper-leaf leaves, unused paper-leaf leaves, I left them on the log.
"Quick nap and back to work" - I closed my eyes, feeling the warm ground with my back. Having a log for a pillow wasn't comfortable, but I forced myself to sleep. Well - as expected, I didn't sleep for long, however there was no screaming in my head anymore. The dream was silent, which didn't change the fact that I saw the same scene over and over again. It's not the blood and gore that gets to me though, its the fact that I was helpless, that I just left someone to die like that. I was no hero, never will be, but this shattered all the self-confidence I had. I doubt I could have done anything... but what if it was someone I knew, what if it was someone dear to me? That's what keeps me jumping awake from this dream, the feeling of disgust towards myself. Hating yourself and still wishing to survive, ridiculous stuff - once more I felt dirty.
I washed my face a few times in the spring to completely wash away any sleep remaining. If I could stop myself from falling into the deep sleep - I would be a lot more aware of the surroundings. Like when you hear every noise in the house in the morning, or when during the night a door to your room opens - creepy, but that's a hospital for you.
With no apparent need to catch fish for today, I decided on taking another scouting trip. Moving a bit further away from the pond into the forest. I think that was the bit of laziness showing itself at the time.
"Though I shouldn’t move that far away from the fishies" - I stretched a bit as I gathered a few pieces of coal into a cloth and filled the fire a bit with firewood. Thinking about fish, I found that my mouth was salivating like a Pavlov’s' dogs hearing the bell. - "...and the water stream of course.. seems I am really getting exhausted here."
I looked at the pile of dry wood near the log - it would last until tomorrow afternoon more likely, so I will have to make a few wood gathering trips. Will do just that on my way back from scouting, and then have dinner.
As such - I took off into the forest, to the edge of the marked territory.