Jamie was having a bad day, until he was crushed to death by a beer delivery truck and things became a whole lot worse. Thrown back into the 'Real World', but now with access to his own stats and those of others Jamie must undertake a series of quests in order to level up and advance, and figure out just what in the name of all that is unholy is going on. Which is the real world? Is he in a game? A simulation? And who actually is his online friend Barry. Inspired greatly by the MUDs of the 90s, many of the aspects will be familiar to those who experienced the joys of text adventures, MUSHs, MURPEs, MUDs, modern MMORPGs or just some good old fashioned cybering with a 17/f/Cali who was anything but.  This humorous, harem LitRPG story is the first story by experienced author Jamie Haremie under this pen name. Jamie has previously written horror and romance (sometimes together!) as well as tons and tons of riveting TPS reports. (Late 90s cultural reference? CHECK). Any and all comments and suggestions welcome!