Oh, Love. What a sweet dream and terrible nightmare. 

 All around me, the sea of faces with expressions that I couldn’t care less about. All the attention, eyes glued to us, to our next move, but I didn’t care. I didn’t feel stressed or worried, I just wanted this moment to never end. I prayed to the gods that they could stop time just for me, for her. 

Lights were shining on my face, blinding me. Our shadows playing the oldest play to be known by human beings. The play of love. The play that all humans wanted to play, to be able to execute.

Everything was spinning, my feet weren’t sure what the next step was, but I didn’t care. All I wanted to see and feel at that moment was her. To feel my hands on her body, touching the most delicate thing in the whole universe. To be able to smell her scent near me. Her Flavor all around me. The sweet flavor, numbing all my other senses. The smile that says that everything is okay. The sweetness of her presence hugging me, my body, and my soul. Just her and her presence. 

Something that happens only once in a lifetime.

...

I didn’t deserve you. You deserved the world. 

Then it stopped and I was back. Back in reality, back to the sourness of life. My eyes wondering across the room. It wasn’t just a room. In fact, this building was a shop. More specifically my shop. 

My shop is in the corner of the square. Many people just pass by not giving my store a second glare. They don’t want to see it. Colored with red and pink to bring the impression that you can eat the whole place. Like how flowers attract bees. It is after all a candy store. Shop with sweets.

 I stretched my back, standing up, I could hear cracking through my whole body, for sitting in the same position for such a long period of time. “Ohh…..” I said with a dull voice, half-open eyes. I went around the table to the front door. It was getting dark but still, there was still a little bit of light. It was time to close to clean and prepare for the next day. I changed the sign that says open to sign closed. This was nothing new, I did this every day just a habit. 

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The empty room was filled with candies, sweets, and things that could cause an overdose of sugar. All the different shapes, flavors. Each kind with its specific scent. Those were my creations. It didn’t look like an empty room but felt like one. A full room of failed attempts to find something like her. The sweetness that would replace her, something as sweet as her.

 I shook my head, I was again losing my mind in the sea of thoughts and I was sinking again. I started to move my legs to head to the back room. Going around the useless candy. Going around my table not paying much attention. Passing through the door. 

 The back room was filled with a thick atmosphere. My eyes crossed over the interior. Turning my attention to the wall on my right hand. There was a shelf on the wall.

There was a picture next to the candle. It was a photo of her. “Hello….” a little smile formed on my face.  

When I lost her, you, I was devastated. The sourness of existing hit me to the fullest. 

 With you everything was sweet. Living was sweet. I was trying to fill up the hole in my heart. But I didn’t want to give up yet. I wanted to feel alive to feel the sweetness of living. I opened a candy store for my sweets, to find something as sweet as you. 

I stood there with my eyes glued to the picture feeling the tears form in my eyes. “THAT A LIE! THERE IS NOTHING AS SWEET AS YOU!” I turned around ready to smash the nearest thing to me. I did just that, smashing things letting my frustration out, after all these years. With tears running down my face. The unhuman-like screams found their way out of my mouth. I couldn’t think straight. Then I turned around. I stopped everything that I was doing. My mind was only taking in your picture. My hands covered in my own blood reached out for that one photo. Pressing it against my chest. 

I can’t take it anymore. I have to do something. I am at my limit. Think. Do something. I want you. I want you near me. Your sweetness, your flavor numbing my senses. Think. Scream. Stop. I froze, letting the tears scare my face. Smile appears. I think I have it. I think I will have you again in my arms.

  I am standing here with a shovel, in my nicest clothes. For you, just for you. Tears slide down my face dripping down on the ground underneath me. The wind brushes my body making the marks on my cheeks sting. I drop the shovel and with a loud noise, it hit the ground. 

 All the different kinds of emotions are mixing, fighting each other just making a bigger mess in my mind. Just another pile of unsolved thoughts lying there not doing anything. I want to scream, to laugh, to cry. Everything because of seeing your coffin. 

 My knees start to break under my weight. There you are in the coffin surrounded by dirt. My savior, my sweetness of life is back to me. All of that is just in the reach of my hand. That’s all I can think about. Just you and only you. The dance we will execute. Me and you. My love and your sweetness.