The cavern system was as beautiful as it was labyrinthine. Gemlike crystals along the walls glimmered with prismatic inner light. Sometimes green. Sometimes blue. Sometimes all the colors of the rainbow.

The ceremony chamber, as Felix had to come to think of it, must have been near the center of the spider web-like maze of tunnels. They crossed into a number of interesting biomes of multicolored mushrooms and flowers, moist from the constant drizzle that fell from the ceiling. There were crystal forests and barren chambers filled with purple earth. Then there was the chasm with the upside down waterfalls. Four currents of water, braided like a rope and never touched as they ascended into a hole they bored into the ceiling of the cavern, illuminated in shifting rainbow colors. Presumably, these were the water source for the raining biomes.

Felix only absently noticed the beauty and majesty of the mysterious cave system. Somewhere in the back of his head, and maybe it was Eva Fortuna's thought more than his own, he wished there weren't a seemingly endless horde of undead around every corner distracting him from what was clearly an ideal sight-seeing opportunity in a magical world.

No, that was definitely your own thought, said Eva Fortuna, her thoughts charged with more than a little snark. I'm not the one who lets their mind wander or dwell on silly romantic thoughts in the middle of life or death situations. If you remembered what Attention Deficit Disorder was, I might be inclined to remind you that you have it.

I think you just reminded me, didn't you? Felix thought.

It was alarming how quickly he got used to having Fortuna in his head commenting on his every move, usually in a sarcastic or critical manner, though he didn't feel any animosity in what he believed were no more than her psychic version of love bites.

It's not like you know what ADD is anyway, she said.

Felix tripped a pair of skeletons with his tail, then swung his baton like a baseball bat, sending two skulls soaring.

I'm sure you know that I can pick it up from context clues.

Felix dodged an undead ball of fur and stripes that might have once been a raccoon and smashed its head with his lightning baton. It discharged a weak arc of electricity that was unnecessary as the creature was already dead, again.

The proliferation of undead animals was surprising, as Felix had assumed that Father Sandra's plan only included humanoids in his undead army plan. Thankfully, so far the few creatures he had been forced to fight that slipped through Muzio's hurricane of sword techniques were not much of a threat.

Neither the minions that had belonged to Father Sandra, nor any hunk of rotting flesh that crossed their path withstood more than one of Muzio's blows.

Felix had watched him in awe for a long time, using his Eyes Over Living & Dead magic perception to study the flow of magic as it coursed through Muzio's body. The uncanny fighter never projected his intention outward as Felix intuited one must when casting magic. Rather, he drew it inward, harnessing the intent into fortifying his body, extending a layer of magic through every fiber of his being and out across the length and tip of his batons.

When he was dancing through his forms, every part of his body was a weapon. Knees, elbows, feet, as well as the deadly batons. Even the aftereffects of some of his strokes kicked up wind that was used to buffet his enemies. Crushed rock could be kicked. Both steps into and away from enemies left necks severed or spines pulverized.

The magic in his lightning batons had long ago been extinguished, but it seemed as though, despite having been fighting at peak form for an inhuman amount of time, Muzio's power only increased the more he fought. At first, Felix had been afraid the man's endurance would give out. He tried bringing it out during a lull in the fighting, but Muzio only shrugged.

"I'll rest when there are no more enemies to fight," Muzio said. "Unless you would like to trade places with me? You cut a path while I ask silly questions while taking up the rear?"

Felix couldn't even imagine trying to replicate the other man's gift for pulverizing enemies. He had therefore followed Muzio's lead and trusted. Eventually, he found his mind wandering and his mental conversations with his invisible friend more frequent.

I'm not an invisible friend! Fortuna said, projecting an image of the cat girl crossing her arms and pouting, then sticking her tongue out at him. Maybe you should put some thought into how we get out of here. Muzio might be good at fighting the stinky bad guys, but I'm pretty sure he's lost.

How do you know he's... oh. Yeah, we're lost.

Indeed, the room they just cleared opened to the great chasm with the four upside down waterfalls. This was the third time they had found their way here. The second time they came here might have been excused by the need to avoid a particularly thick flow of undead, but this time, Felix was sure there was only one explanation for them not making forward progress.

If there was any doubt, Muzio cursed and drove the ends of his batons in the ground then took a knee and tried wiping the sweat from his brow, but he was covered head to toe in sweat and gore. All he managed to do was smear the gunk around. He cursed again.

"You looked so sure you knew where you were going," Felix said.

Muzio shrugged, looking exhausted for the first time. "I thought I detected a pattern in their movements. Perhaps it was wishful thinking."

"What kind of pattern?"

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"Haven’t you noticed the undead won’t attack unless we're right in front of them?"

"Not really," Felix said, shaking his head. "From where I'm standing it feels like we've been fighting them non-stop since the beginning."

Muzio nodded.

"At first, yes," he said. "When I was cutting a path against the stream. They don’t move just in packs. I keep feeling as though they’re moving along streams. There’s a flow to their direction. So long as we do not stand in their wake, they seem to be happy to pass us by. Look over there. And over there."

Muzio pointed across the chasm, where along the wall, several dozen lanky zombies were ambling deeper into the cave system. Then Muzio pointed a dozen meters to his left, where a cluster of stocky, short undead that might have once been a family of halflings were exiting a tunnel. They proceeded to walk in a circle before shuffling away.

"Ugh, there is no pattern," Muzio said, sounding defeated. He rolled over on his back and stretched, cracking his back audibly.

Felix took a quick look around. Nothing was coming at them for the moment. Was it really okay to just collapse on the ground like that?

I’m sure he’s fine, Fortuna said.

"At least you seem to be right about them not attacking unless we're in their way," Felix said. He felt gross, covered as he was in zombie goo. Suddenly something nagged at him as he watched another group of zombies walk in the same circular pattern as the one before. A sense that, now that he was looking for one, he actually might see a pattern. "Maybe there is something..."

Muzio sat up. "What is it?"

Ah, yes! I see it too! Fortuna exclaimed happily in his mind.

Felix smiled.

"Like fish who don’t know they’re wet," Felix muttered.

"What?" Muzio asked.

"Hm? Oh, it's nothing. Just a story I remember. My head's filled with random things like that."

"Does this story help us, or is your past life so interesting you don’t care about getting out of here?"

“I remember a story about a fish who was looking for water," Felix said, deciding to ignore the comment. "Only he couldn't find it because he was swimming in it. I didn't notice it before, but we've been swimming in... something like a magic stream. No, not a stream. It’s like a… miasma? It's fundamentally the same sick and weird magic that makes the undead… not dead?"

Muzio's eyes narrowed. "And this miasma in the air, can you discern a relationship between it and their movements?"

Felix nodded.

It wasn't just in the air, actually. The eldritch aura was seeping through earth and stone, upward from underground. Its origin was near this chasm, likely directly under the ritual chamber. Wherever the miasma did touch the air, it moved like an air current. Wherever currents touched, like fronts, the miasma swirled before correcting itself. That was why those creatures had walked in a circle before. There were places where the miasma wasn't flowing as well as others, but if he squinted, he could see where it wanted to go.

Some of Father Sandra's memories bubbled to the surface and Felix understood that this miasma was actually part of a greater plan. Umma Ghula had unleashed the undead early, but the spell was working as it was meant to work. The miasma would work like a virus, hunting down life outside, guiding the animated dead to the living flora and fauna, where it would be free to feed, replicate and spread.

"I think I can get us out of here," Felix said, scowling at the sensation of that priest's thoughts crawling within his own. Then he grinned wryly. "I guess that means we really are switching places. Though I'm not sure I'll be as good at cutting a path out of here as you are."

***

Felix and Muzio had been following the flow of the miasma for some time, keeping enough distance between the undead so as to not invoke their ire.

So long as they didn't get too close, or make sudden movements, most of the animated creatures left them alone. They were somewhat used to it now, but Felix wondered if it had something to do with the fact they were covered in enough gore that they smelled just as dead as everything else.

The plan seemed to be working, as Felix could feel and see the eldritch miasma flowing stronger as the tunnel systems connected and got closer to the exit. Muzio and Felix shuffled along with the river of dozens upon dozens of undead.

Then a series of not-so-distant booms echoed through the cave system in the direction of the exit to which they were headed.

The flow of miasma halted, and so did the undead marching all around them.

Felix and Muzio exchanged worried glances.

"I think someone just collapsed the exit," Felix whispered.

A few moments passed in an awkward lull. A skull-faced bunny-eared zombie to Felix's left started getting a little antsy. It leaned over and ... was it sniffing?

I guess this means there are bunny people in this world, Felix thought.

That thought is loaded with a lot more sexual tension than is deserved at this particular moment.

It absolutely is not. How can anyone think of sex while smelling rot?

If anyone could, you could.

"We should probably move," Muzio whispered.

Felix started backing away slowly, just as Muzio raised his weapons.

The miasma began to swirl as the currents adjusted to flow in a new direction. The hundreds of undead around them stirred, many of them starting to turn their attention on the two living beings in their midst.

"Where do we go?" Muzio asked, sounding a bit more anxious than he probably meant to.

An elven corpse launched at him, snapping its jaws near his face. He ducked back and swung, pulverizing its face.

That headcrack was the bell that rallied the flood.

All at once, the howls and groans of a hundred zombies of all shapes rose as one and pounced.

"Shit!" Felix shouted, as he mustered a blink teleport into the air to avoid being crushed under a half dozen corpses. It strained his reserves of magic that had only marginally recovered from a mouthful of Father Sandra.

As he fell from a few meters in the air, he watched as a number of zombies turned their heads upwards, perhaps having heard the tail end of his shout suddenly come from above them.

Felix fell into a mass of raised hands and eager mouths, feeling somewhat at odds with the delusional sensation that he was about to crowdsurf a bunch of zombies.

He invoked his barkskin and came down swinging his baton and raking claws. The murderous instinct inside of him swelled as his entire being entered a berserk fight or flight mode and knew there was no choice but to fight or die.

He clawed and bit even as he was clawed and bit. He tasted the vile, sickly corruption of necromancy, of rot, of disgusting undead flesh goo he had been consciously praying would never get near his mouth.

Ah well, wasn’t he part demon now? He’d been smelling that decomposition for the better part of a day now. Eating zombies. That’s a thing a demon might do, right?