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Re: Butterfly (Reincarnated as a Butterfly)
2-46. What Do I Look Like, a Mind-Reader?

2-46. What Do I Look Like, a Mind-Reader?

Adon explained his newly unlocked level of Telepathy to Rosslyn, attempting to do so as quickly and simultaneously thoroughly as he could.

She obligingly moved more slowly through the hallways as he went on, giving the two of them more time alone to discuss what Adon was telling her.

The butterfly felt grateful that the servants who they passed as they proceeded could not hear the telepathic messages he was sending to Rosslyn. The Princess herself seemed to see the value in discretion on this matter, too. Without needing to be asked, she kept her voice low as she asked follow-up questions.

“So, you can read our thoughts whenever you want, then?” she said quietly, after several other inquiries.

Well, proximity seems to help, but generally, I don’t seem to have a lot of other restrictions, he transmitted.

“Can you go as deep as you want? I mean, are the thoughts still surface-level thoughts, or just below that, or are you looking at people’s childhood memories—or, I guess, resisting the urge to look at our childhood memories?”

I really don’t know. I think it’s still limited to surface level and just below surface level, Adon replied. Before, when we first communicated telepathically, I know you deliberately put some thoughts on the surface level where I could read them.

Rosslyn nodded. “Royals and nobles usually have some amount of mental training, in case we are subjected to any form of mental attack, although that ability is uncommon to almost nonexistent. I can control which thoughts come to the surface level of my mind, among other things.”

Right, Adon sent. I don’t know if that training is enough anymore, at least when it comes to the specific situation where I’m the one using Telepathy—I think I’ve accidentally or semi-accidentally picked up thoughts from you and the young lords already, and they definitely weren’t thoughts I was supposed to get. I wanted to tell you about it as quickly as possible, so you could maybe give me some guardrails—I mean, basically, guidelines. This is a magical world, and you’ve mentioned an awareness that telepathic creatures exist before. You even have that mental training you mentioned. Is there some kind of code of etiquette to this?

Rosslyn shrugged and gave Adon an uncertain half-smile. “There is none that I am aware of, and I suspect that it does not exist. If I were you, I would simply try to use this gift to my best advantage.” She lowered her voice even further. “If there were rules of etiquette around Telepathy, they would be almost unenforceable. In order to know that you were spying on my thoughts, I would have to trick you into telling on yourself. That seems borderline impossible without help or another telepath—and almost completely impossible without already knowing that your power has developed to this extent, though you were nice enough to tell me about it for some reason.”

Well, of course I told you! Adon replied instantly.

“Why ‘of course’?” Rosslyn asked just as quickly. “You did not have an obligation to me.”

Well, yeah, but it’s a little like I’m reading your diary, Adon sent meekly. Doesn’t the thought make you uncomfortable?

“I try to be an open book to the extent that I can,” Rosslyn replied, flashing pearly white teeth at Adon.

You will of course be unsurprised that there are some things I cannot share with you, because they may concern national security or you personally, she added inside her mind.

She looked at Adon, who had slowed his flight pattern for a moment. He realized that she had just caught him reading her thoughts—although he was certain, especially by how her smile grew, that she had intended for him to hear that sentence.

Well, that was clever, he thought. Maybe she can handle me using Telepathy willy-nilly like this…

It’s not just your thoughts, Adon transmitted back after a moment. If you’re practicing radical honesty, well, that’s cool, but what about the Duke’s sons?

“I have no reason to object to you reading their thoughts either,” Rosslyn said. “I would recommend that you not ask them for permission in advance if you intend to do that, though. They may simply avoid you if they learn you can pierce our mental defenses. And my father did make an effort to get them here. I would hate for them to leave prematurely.”

Rosslyn said most of that with a lightheartedness that seemed a little strange to Adon, given what he considered the fairly serious subject matter. He tried asking the question another way.

You’re really all right with me spying on your friends? he transmitted bluntly.

Rosslyn hesitated a moment. Then she said, “They were my friends when we were small, but it would be foolish of me to say with confidence that I truly know them now. I know that I have changed. I am certain I cannot be the only one. It is not as if I am not asking you to spy on them. But if you do, I do not object. I can see the value in it. It might make us safer in a fairly dangerous time. If there is even a small chance that they might turn on us—I would end up being grateful that they were exposed before that could happen. I know my father trusts their father, the Duke, but he has been deceived before. Just because the Duke’s sons and I played together as children, and my father is considering the idea of a match, does not mean I can trust them. ”

But you trust me? Adon sent, before he had fully processed all that she had said.

A match? Was that something Rosslyn or Alistair had mentioned before, when they had told him about the Duke’s sons visiting? Was Rosslyn planning on marrying one of these guys?

“That is… That question is more complicated.” Rosslyn quickly told Adon what was probably the heavily abbreviated version of a story about an advisor to her father named Lord Baranack who had betrayed them.

“None of us imagined he could be a spy, because he was a noble,” she concluded. “That placed him above suspicion. In all of the history of the struggle between the Holy Kingdoms and the Empire, nobles have almost never defected from their countries to the Demon Empire unless those nations were actively besieged at the time, and the noble was hoping for lenient treatment. None of them acted as spies behind enemy lines. The betrayal in those cases was a matter of surrendering a key castle or city. Unlike commoners, a noble has so much to lose and so little to gain by working with the demons… I thought Lord Baranack was an ass and that he was bad at his job and perhaps too sympathetic to our enemy, but I could hardly imagine he would turn out to be a traitor.”

The fact that he seemed to sympathize with your enemy wasn’t a clue? Adon could not resist interjecting.

“If we assumed that every person who tried to understand the way the demons think was a traitor, there would be no scholars left in the Kingdom,” Rosslyn replied, shrugging.

Also, he only truly showed that side of himself once we were outside of the Kingdom, she thought. Perhaps he was more open in discussing his theories on the Empire with my stepmother, because her political views were not as strongly anti-Empire as my father’s or mine. But I imagine he was hesitant to risk giving his true allegiance away to anyone.

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Fair enough, Adon replied. I guess you don’t want to discourage people from expressing their real opinions.

Rosslyn shook her head. “No. We need our advisors to give their best advice. Anyway, all of that was meant to contrast with you.”

Um, how did any of that have anything to do with me? Adon asked.

I listened to that whole story looking for anything that guy and I had in common, and there was absolutely nothing, he thought.

“We never suspected Lord Baranack, because he was too much one of us to be a traitor. You are precisely the opposite.”

You mean that you’ve suspected me the whole time, because I’m not one of you? Adon transmitted, slightly flabbergasted.

Rosslyn chuckled. “No, I mean that you have not been present in this world long enough to form strong attachments to anyone! I first encountered you in the garden when you were a newborn. All your major memories are from another world—or worlds. How can we suspect you might be a secret agent of the Empire, or of any enemy, when you have had no time for that?”

That makes a lot more sense, he sent, feeling a little dumb. It still doesn’t make me trustworthy enough to read your thoughts, though, does it?

“I probably cannot stop you, based on what you have said. At least from reading surface thoughts—and those just below the surface. It is a comfort that you are not looking into my deepest innermost thoughts, since I rarely look there myself. I have no idea what you might find… Really, it is not for me to trust or distrust you. I think it makes more sense for me to try to win you over rather than make assumptions about your loyalties. I naturally hope that you have formed some degree of attachment to your birthplace…” She let her voice trail off, then tilted her head from one side to the other, back and forth, as if she was still thinking about what he had asked.

You don’t seem very sure, Adon observed.

She let out a little nervous laugh. “Um, let us just say that I trust your good intentions. At worst, you might be a little too naive. Undoubtedly a good person, though. Trying to do the right thing. You gave away much of the advantage you had gained for yourself when you acquired this enhanced ability by telling me about it at all, you know? If you wanted to abuse it, you would not have done that. And now that you have told me, I should add that I have sufficient discipline—partially because of the training I mentioned—to avoid directly touching on thoughts that you should not be aware of when I am in your presence.”

I think, she added in her mind.

Adon couldn’t feel any sign of insincerity in Rosslyn’s tone, either aloud or in her mind. She seemed to be surprisingly comfortable with the idea of Adon inside her head.

Maybe she’s just a lot more confident than I would be with someone reading my mind. Adon recalled a handful of the embarrassing thoughts he’d had on an average day as a human and then shook his head vigorously. She must be like a monk or something, to think she won’t ever happen to think something she’d regret…

“What are you thinking?” Rosslyn asked.

Adon realized she was looking down at him intently as he considered what she had said.

He couldn’t say what he was actually thinking.

He looked down the hall and saw that they were drawing close to her room.

Oh, we’re almost there, he transmitted.

She just stared down at him and waited, raising an eyebrow, clearly still wondering about the answer to her question.

Um, I was wondering what you would do with this ability, Adon sent. What kind of etiquette would you impose on yourself?

“If I could read minds, I would not ask anyone’s permission before doing it. It is too powerful an advantage. I would tell father about it, and I might tell you and Goldie, but only if I could swear you to secrecy. If father could read minds, I doubt whether anyone else would even know about it…” There was a slight pause, and Rosslyn’s expression shifted slightly. But it was difficult for Adon to read what she was thinking from her face, and for those few seconds, her mind was carefully blank.

Whatever emotion she was feeling, Adon could tell it was negative.

You really think he would keep it a secret, even from you? Adon asked.

“He can be almost uncomfortably good at keeping secrets,” she said slowly and quietly.

Would you like me to tell you anything interesting that I find out? Adon asked.

Her father’s apparent lack of transparency about some secret in the past seemed to be bothering her, so he thought it was a reasonable question.

Rosslyn gave him a slightly exasperated look, then shook her head.

“You are the only person looking out for you, Adon, so use it for your own good. You are the only one of your own kind currently alive as far as we know. A unique life form with unique interests. You must learn to understand how others see you—and will likely continue to see you. To us, you are a foreign prince. Such underhanded methods as reading your mind would be acceptable to us if we could employ them, to keep you aligned with our Kingdom. You do not need to place your gift at my command. There are few people in this world who are truly free. You are one of them.” She hastened to add, “Of course, if you find out that the brothers are planning to assassinate me or my father, or sell us out to the Demon Empire, that is something I would want to know!”

Got it, he replied with a hint of sarcasm. Spy for me, but if I find something juicy, spy for you.

She let out a short laugh. “Since you have been in the palace, and I have come to see you more regularly, as your talents blossomed, I have had to reconcile myself to a simple fact. At some point in the future, you might find that your interests conflict with my father’s—or even mine. The friend that we have been helping might develop his own, independent agenda. That is all right. You might find that you have to be a bit more selfish. For your own good. If you want to help us, do that. If you do not, do what you want.”

They arrived at Rosslyn’s bedroom door. Adon realized they were there, because she had stopped walking.

I don’t understand how you can be this casual about this, Adon thought.

But he stopped himself from sending the thought. He realized that he was really belittling Rosslyn’s feelings if he spoke to her as if she was making this decision casually. Despite the way she had expressed herself, she clearly had some deep-seated feelings or even principles that were at stake in behaving in this way.

You are trying very hard not to exercise any control over me, he sent after a few seconds.

“I know I can influence you to some degree if I want to,” Rosslyn replied, looking down at Adon with a thin, bittersweet smile. “But I would rather see you as an equal than someone I can control. If I did not trust you to some degree, perhaps I would try to do more than merely persuade you—” She displayed an imagined scene in her mind, for Adon to view, in which she drew a slender dagger from a sheath at her thigh and then pinned him to the wall with it—“but tyrannical control in the Empire, the rule of force and coercion and repression, is exactly what we are fighting against.” She shook her head, and her eyes looked sad and faraway. A few images of another country flashed through her mind for a moment. The people there looked harried and hollow-eyed, the architecture ugly and intimidating. “If I am ever to rule, I will not become that sort of Queen.”

Rosslyn opened the door to her room, then stopped and stood in the doorway as they continued talking.

From there, the conversation meandered a little. There seemed to be little more to say. Adon wasn’t fully aware of it, but he was retracing the same ground they had tread on already.

As they spoke, Rosslyn raised one foot and removed her shoe, then did the same to the other.

Adon, perched on the doorsill across from her, barely noticed the movements.

Finally, she cleared her throat.

“Um, Adon, I would love to continue this conversation, but we will be late for dinner if we continue talking. I was taking off my shoes out here, because that is the most undressed it is proper for me to be in front of a non-family member. But I need to go into the room and change. Would you mind if we continue this another time?”

Oh, yes, of course, Adon sent. Sorry!

Adon flapped his wings.

See you soon! Rosslyn thought.

The words were accompanied by the image of a smile.