It took Sean a long moment to even find his own words after listening to hers as she still held that knife tightly against her beautiful skin. “Claire, killing yourself is not the answer. It never will be the answer. If you kill yourself, just because you don’t want me to stop loving you…” He swallowed hard again, “Then instead, you’ll be condemning me to spend eternity without you, knowing that I’m the reason you did such a thing.”
“You’re going to have to spend eternity without me, anyway. Aren’t you though?” she choked.
“But I’d still have some time left with you: If you kill yourself, I won’t have any,” he whispered, using her own reasons against her, since they seemed to be the only thing she could comprehend at the moment.
She just shook her head, “Don’t you understand, Sean? You won‘t let me really die though. Will you?” she whispered. “Don't you see? I’m not trying to kill myself: I’m trying to keep myself,” she finished in an even quieter whisper.
“Keep yourself?” he repeated in confusion.
“The real version of you loved who I am now. You say that even this version of you still loves who I am now.” She finally looked up again, “But time will change me into somebody else. It changes everybody. But it’ll never change you. Not anymore,” another ragged breath. “This is the only way I can keep time from changing me too. By becoming the thing that you are… It’s the only way I’ll get to keep you, forever. Like you promised me I could,” she told him with finality as she looked down again, pressing that blade into her beautiful flesh.
Though Sean’s speed was now even greater than he knew, himself. In a literal flash of motion he had lunged toward her, easily tearing the knife from her shaking fingers. He then stopped his motions with a start, the knife now in his own hand. Sean looked nearly as shocked by his own speed as she was, almost.
Though even Claire’s shock was no match for her despair. She covered her face in her hands, sobbing into them and turning away to curl herself into a ball atop their bed.
“Claire,” he whispered her name. He tossed the knife away just to be sure that it was completely out of her reach. Though she didn’t go for it again. Instead she remained there, curled into that fragile ball, the sobs racking her body, no longer able to find her voice through the tears.
Sean dared to approach the mattress, ever so slowly moving closer to her. He just hoped that she wouldn’t pull away, this time. He moved to wrap her in his arms, curling himself around her from behind. He pulled her closer against him, kissing her hair and thanking whatever deities may have existed at all, that she didn't pull away from him this time. Instead, she let him hold her, allowing him to once again feel the heat of her body next to the now ice cold of his own.
It was several long moments before Claire’s tears finally ran dry, though she still said nothing. She just lay there, letting him hold her. Sean kissed her hair again, and pulled her closer, gently kissing her neck as well. The feel of his cool lips against the heated flesh of her vulnerable neck did make her tense, but she didn’t pull away from him. Perhaps it was just that she was too exhausted to even try and move from his arms.
Feeling her tense at the feel of his kiss finally gave Sean the need to speak once more, “You honestly, truly, want to be what I am now?” he whispered to her.
“Whatever you are Sean, you’re still the only one in the world who’s ever really loved me,” she choked her answer. “If I don’t have that love, which is the only thing that makes life bearable at all... Then I may as well be dead,” she whispered back. She then shook her head, forcing a hand upwards to wipe at her still remaining tears, “But I guess you don’t want that, do you?”
“Of course I don’t want you dead,” he stated firmly.
“But you could bring me back,” she whispered. “So why didn’t you let me do it?”
“Claire…” he stated, his own words escaping him as well.
“You promised me forever,” she told him again, her pain obvious.
“I did,” he admitted. “But…”
“But what? You telling me you didn’t mean it? It was all a lie?”
“Of course not, Claire…”
“Then why won’t you let me die… and bring me back? So I can have that forever?” she whispered desperately.
Sean sighed deeply, before finally turning her in his arms to face him. “There are easier ways, though, Claire,” he finally made himself say.
“Easier ways? What are you talking about?” she asked, looking into his eyes with confusion.
“Easier ways than slicing open your wrists and making me watch you bleed to death here in our bed, before I even could bring you back.”
“How then? What do you mean?” she whispered, still gazing into his eyes for answers.
“I mean, if this is truly what you want, I’ll still have to let you die, but I don’t have to let it be painful, too,” he whispered as he gently kissed her lips.
“How could you do that?”
“Let me make love to you, one more time, tonight. And in that last moment, I can give you your last moment too. You can leave this life without any pain at all. Nothing but pleasure. I can do that for you,” he promised her with another kiss.
“You’ll bring me back though?” she swallowed hard at the sound of his words.
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“If I didn’t, then I really would be a monster. A murderer even. And I don’t want to let myself ever become that,” he assured her, proving that keeping his humanity, despite what he now was, was almost as important to him as keeping her love had always been.
After blowing out the lone candle that lit the bedroom, the two undressed each other atop the bed in the darkness. Sean leaned over her and began kissing her with the same sort of urgency he had displayed that first time. As their kisses continued, Sean found himself with a moment of panic, which easily set in considering the emotional exhaustion of the entire night. This panic was not just over his fears of possibly not being able to save her in time though. Before he could even get to that point, he had to follow through on his promise of letting her last moment be one of complete pleasure: One that was totally devoid of any pain at all.
However, his cold flesh was not reacting in the way that it always had any time he had ever thought about her, let alone at a time like this. Their naked bodies were entwined now, Sean laying between her parted thighs. Claire was still completely aroused by him, and more than ready to feel him inside her, just as she had always been any time he had ever touched her.
Sean continued kissing her while trying not to let on to the unspoken fears that maybe his body was truly too dead to give her all that pleasure anymore. And that was a more than terrifying thought when he was staring down eternity with the woman who had always inflamed his desires effortlessly. He was quickly losing his battle against that unspoken fear as she moved beneath him, arching herself towards him, desperate to feel him inside her, as she always was. Then Sean remembered his first real introduction to how truly strange Haven and his mistresses were. He remembered clearly the way Haven easily made love to not one, but two women; and for quite a lengthy period of time at that.
That fact gave him the hope that he still was truly capable of giving her that pleasure he had always given her, if only he could figure out how to make his body obey his will. As she kissed him more deeply, ran her hands more hungrily over his cool skin, and pressed herself even more tightly against him, Sean finally found that way to call upon the will that had truly saved him from becoming a beast on the night of his own death. His mind literally ordered his flesh to obey.
It took only another brief moment for his body to heat and his flesh to harden against where she waited to feel him enter her once more. So relieved that he discovered the key to unlock yet another skill, Sean thrust quickly and deeply into her, producing a gasp from each of them. It was as though he were afraid that he’d forget how to exercise that control over his flesh once more if he didn’t hurry to join their bodies as one right at that very moment.
Though as fate would somehow have it, the opposite actually turned out to be true of his lovemaking abilities now. It wasn't very long at all before Sean felt some version of the orgasms she had always given him. An ever-so-slightly understated form of those tremors of pleasure shook his body, as they had when he had made love to her on all of their other nights together. However, instead of his body reacting by spilling his seed into her, as it had always done previously, it was different this time. Sean found that since his body no longer produced such a thing, his pleasure was no longer followed by him collapsing above her in ecstasy this time. Instead, he stayed just as aroused as when he had first entered her, simply because he wished to.
Sean couldn’t help a slight fanged smile in the darkness, as he became aware of exactly how easy it was for Haven to tend to multiple young lovers. With his new knowledge in place, Sean thrust into her more deeply, more quickly, causing her moans of pleasure to nearly become screams of pleasure. He now no longer had any fear at all of not lasting long enough to give her that pleasure of her own, which he had always strived to do. As he made love to her, he found himself thinking that maybe eternity wouldn’t be that bad of an idea after all; if he could still share it with her.
When her shuddering was so intense that he knew that he most likely couldn’t push her toward any higher peaks than that, Sean finally forced himself to remember what the original plan had been. He thrust into her once more, causing another orgasmic tremor to rack her sweat-soaked body, and finally willed himself to sink his fangs into her neck below him. The feel of his body thrusting that much more deeply into hers, combined with those fangs piercing her flesh, caused her, in that moment, to feel what was simply, the most intense pleasure of her entire life. As Claire was swallowed by that pleasure, Sean drank deeply from her, fulfilling the promise he had made to her that very night.
Considering her physical exhaustion due to their last moments together, it did not take long for the blood loss to cause Claire to lose consciousness as well. Sean had to force himself to drink those last few drops, despite how difficult that was. But he knew that this was one time he never could let his emotions, his love for her, distract him from the task at hand.
When her pulse finally dwindled and died out, Sean forced himself quickly out of and off of her. He ferociously moved his still bloodied fangs to his wrist, tearing a gash in his own flesh and moving his wrist to her lips, squeezing his arm tightly, just to be sure that she would open those beautiful eyes once more, after all.
Sean did not honestly know how much blood he needed to give her, or how long it would take for her to awaken. But he did know that when she did awaken as this new creation he had let himself make her into; that was when she would feel that pain he had tried so hard to shield her from in her last moments of life. Though, there was no way to shield her from it in her first moments of unlife. He remembered that much clearly from the night of his own rebirth.
Forcing himself to stop feeding his blood to her, Sean quickly moved from the bed, knowing he had to find the one person who could possibly help him get Claire through the change. Just as he had helped Sean through it, less than a week earlier. He then quickly pulled his pants on and moved out into the night
Sean rushed through the darkened woods, somehow having no trouble seeing, despite the lack of light; and paying no heed to the cold winter air despite only being dressed in nothing more than a simple pair of trousers. When he came upon the clearing, he did not find Haven, but instead, it was some other young girl, another redhead, and a complete stranger to him.
“Who are you?” he asked roughly, his own fear of Claire’s well-being sharpening his tone that much more.
“Viola,” she answered, swallowing a bit as he had startled her from claiming some item that had been left behind in the clearing earlier that night.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, casting another worried glance back towards his home, where Claire’s body could very likely be dying, or even being reborn, as he spoke.
“I had forgotten something earlier when we were celebrating,” she answered, then quickly added, “You’re Sean, right?”
“How did you…” he then shook his head. “Where’s Haven?”
“Back at his house,” she answered him quietly, seeming slightly relieved by him mentioning her master, which assured her, somehow, that she had nothing to fear from him.
“His house?”
“Yes, he never sold it, even after leaving here,” she replied, obviously knowing some of the history of the place, and of her master, despite being new to his household.
Without another word, Sean moved off toward the old Torrence home. He was too worried about leaving Claire there in those dire moments between her death and her new life, to even bother attempting to explain any further. Little did he know that back at his own home, Claire was indeed awakening with a terrible, painful hunger, and no one to help guide her through such pain, after all.