I sit in an uncomfortable plastic chair in the basic room. Fredrick and Damon are running late for visitation. My appointed therapist silently watches me from next to the door. When Freddy finally comes in, my therapist stands.

"Sorry I'm late. I was speaking to Gunther and his family."

"How is Gun?"

I look up eagerly as Freddy ignores me and quietly speaks to my therapist. My therapist nods and leaves the room. Freddy sits down, remaining silent and avoiding eye contact.

"Freddy?"

"I heard your parents have stopped visiting."

"Haha yeah. My parents don't want anything to do with me now. It was bad enough I started a band instead of going to college. That's why I'm so happy to have you and Damon here for me!"

"Well, about that..."

He stalls and I get increasingly nervous.

"Freddy. Relax, just tell me."

"I won't be coming here anymore. Damon won't be calling."

I'm shocked and Freddy looks only slightly guilty.

"Why?"

"We can't Betty.."

"What do you mean?"

I can tell he's stressed and getting angry.

"You nearly killed Gunner."

"And I can't even put into words how absolutely horrible I feel about what happened. Is he okay?"

"Is he okay? Did you really just ask me if he's okay?! He's paralyzed Betty! He can't play! They're not sure if he'll even be able to walk again!"

"I... Freddy... If I could, I'd switch places with him. But I can't... Please don't stop visiting. I didn't know this would happen."

"Really?! It didn't cross your mind when you decided to drive drunk and on pain medication? Gunner only got into the passenger seat to make sure you didn't fall asleep driving! You were like a little sister to him! Look where it got him."

Tears begin streaming down my face and Freddy looks away.

"I didn't do this on purpose! Yes, I fucked up. Yes, I should've stayed or let Gunner Drive. Yes, everything is my fault. But, damn it, don't act like I got into the accident and hurt Gun on purpose!"

He hesitantly grabs my hand and squeezes.

"Betty, I know. I don't mean to make you feel like it's your fault. But B, you have to look at the seriousness of the situation. Think about how bad this would look on me and Damon. If you want this band to succeed, you can't associate with us anymore."

"What the fuck Freddy! It's my band!"

Freddy drops my hand and pats my shoulder.

"Yet you sit in the back. I'm the lead singer sweetheart, the face of the bad."

"That's bullshit!"

"Look B, we took a vote. You're out."

"Did you bully Damon into kicking me out?"

"Actually, we had a talk. He understands how replaceable he is and we don't want that."

"I should've kicked you out when Gunner came to me with concerns."

He stands up and walks over to the door with a smug grin on his face.

"But you didn't sweetheart. We just couldn't possibly get signed with an alcoholic drummer that's in rehab for nearly killing our lead guitarist. Damon's here."

Freddy leaves and Damon rushes in. I've been in love with him since before I started the band. He's been my best friend longer than that. I can't imagine he even wants to look at me now. Thinking about it makes the tears flow faster. Damon closes the door and lifts me into his arms, wiping my tears.

"Damon.."

"Please don't cry."

He sits on the floor, holding me in his lap.

"I'm sorry."

"Aww B, I would never stop talking to you. We just have to be careful of Freddy. I'll write everyday, I promise."

"I hurt Gun.. You should hate me.."

He squeezes me against him harder.

"Gunner doesn't hate you, so why should I? He was really worried that you got hurt too. You're his little sister. No matter what's said or done, Gun would never stop caring about you."

"Really?"

"You're the only person that Freddy is afraid of. Now that you're here, he thinks he can do whatever he wants and nothing can stop him."

I go quiet, enjoying the feeling of being in Damon's arms.

"What will I do if I can't see you or hear your voice?"

He sighs, kissing the top of my head.

"It's not a prison B. It's a rehab center. Use the pool, learn to cook, pick up a hobby. Betty, you'll be okay."

"No I won't."

He sighs again.

"Betty.. Please try. For me and for Gunner. I'll write you. And when Gunner gets out of the hospital, he'll write you. It's only 18 months."

I move to look up at him.

"That's a year and a half! So much could change Damon!"

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He smiles at my worried face.

"Like what? My hair will grow out? I'll write songs about how much I miss you?"

I gently hit his chest.

"I'm being serious! The band could get signed and Freddy would be in charge!"

"B, we need a drummer and a lead guitarist. That's half the band. No one can replace our sound."

"I'm easily replaced. It's as simple as following notes."

Damon rolls his eyes.

"You know it's not that simple B."

"So much could change."

He forces my chin up so we're locking eyes.

"Betty, are you worried I'll abandon you?"

"No..."

"B, I know when something is bothering you. You don't have to say it out loud.. I could never leave you. I promise. You're my best friend. I love you."

I go quiet, staring at Damon's hands holding me against him.

"Betty?"

I look up, my hair in my face. Damon pushes my hair behind my ear and wipes new tears from my cheeks.

"Please, I can't stand to see you cry. Oh, here."

He takes off his favorite necklace and puts it over my head.

"Damon?"

I hold the engraved silver pick in my hand.

"I promise I'll always be here for you. That's proof. I wouldn't give that to anyone else. You know how important it is to me."

I nod.

"I'll keep it safe Damon."

He smiles as my therapist knocks on the door, signaling visitation is over. I stand and help Damon up. He hugs me tightly and kisses my cheek.

"I love you B."

"I'll be waiting for your first letter Damon."

I sit on the fake leather couch in my therapist's office after Damon and Freddy left. Therapy always follows visitation. It's a joke.

"How are you feeling Miss. Morris?"

"I'm fine."

I mumble out. I hate this bullshit. Talking about feelings doesn't fix anything. I'd rather get my hands on a set of drums. I space, remembering the bands last performance. It was only our 3rd show after Freddy convinced me to change the band name. The announcer laughed out our name. 'Blood on the Sword'. Our fans even laughed. I don't know why I even listened to him. The therapist breaks me from my thoughts.

"Betty?"

"Huh."

I look at her, confused.

"I asked about your parents. Last week was their last visit?"

I groan. My parents are a sore subject. They only cared about me when I was their puppet. Doing everything they wanted, getting good grades, wearing long skirts and sweaters, not being allowed to cut my hair. I smile, remembering my 18th birthday. They never liked Damon. According to them he corrupted their sweet angel. Damon and I got tattoos, I bought new clothes, got my hair cut and dyed. I came home a whole new person, my own person. My father swore Damon had the devil possess me. I left home soon after that night and crashed on groupies couched as Freddy, Gunther and our old friend Tom fucked the girls like crazy. I actually replaced Tom on drums when he switched to keyboard and eventually left.

"What kind of parent puts a restraining order on their kid?"

"Not to give your parents credit, but you stabbed your father in the hand with a pen."

"He was being an asshole."

"He was concerned for your wellbeing Betty."

"He was talking shit about Damon. Aren't you supposed to fix me, not piss me off?"

She sighs, jotting some notes in her binder.

"Let's shift focus then. You seemed upset after seeing Mr. Rivers, I understand he's taken himself off the contact list."

"Freddy is a loser. He thinks he can do whatever because I'm here."

"He's taken control of the band."

I hit the arm of the couch as I grit my teeth.

"That's my band."

"Betty, I don't need to remind you that life will go on out there without you. Whether you like it or not. How has Mr. Abbot's diagnosis affected you?"

"You asked me that 3 weeks ago."

"And you didn't answer."

I groan and sink back into the couch.

"I wish it were me, I feel like shit. What do you want from me?"

"What you're feeling would be a start."

"I feel bad. There aren't words to compare to how I feel. But most importantly, I want a strong drink."

She nods, writing more things down.

"What about Mr. Zeer? You never speak about him."

I stare at my hands.

"Why didn't you respond when Damon said 'I love you' to you? Do you not feel the same?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then why not say it back? Especially since this seems to be the last physical contact until you get out. He asked me to be removed from visitation and phone calls."

I fold my arms across my chest, becoming defensive.

"I've never said it."

"Pardon?"

"I've never said that out loud and meant it!"

She looks up at me, surprised.

"Not even to your parents?"

I shrug.

"They never said it so why should I?"

She stares at me, intrigued.

"That's it for today Betty but we'll pick this conversation back up at another time."