Today was a fun day for me and for my favorite and pretty much the only friend Jimmy.

Day off and drinking entire day is kind of cool right…

I was on my way home. My epic friend Jimmy right next to me while going through the city and we are completely smashed, had to puke like four times already.

¨Man I am never drinking again ever… Seriously!¨

My trademark statement after every drinking night, that’s probably as realistic as few others like: I am going to start working out or I am totally over my ex. Instead it is probably going to be another day full of videogames and cursing my life choices in particular the one to drink so much.

¨Bullshit, you probably said that more than anyone else on this planet at this point already…¨ He is laughing at my sorry ass state.

¨True, that doesn’t mean you are not a dickhead right now you bastard¨

We are often being kind off dicks to each other but I always thought that’s pretty normal? At any rate I don’t think we usually mean it completely seriously. There are incidents when we are drunk sometimes but nothing too serious. We do have a tendency to overdo a lot of things and I wish I wouldn’t do them sometimes, but the magical words do it pussy are too strong.

¨Tell you what you fucker, climb this bridge and piss over someone from there while I videotape that with my phone and not only will you become fucking legend but I will give you thousand crowns for it you pussy¨

My weakness you bastard! Why do I do it every time? To prove myself I am not a pussy ? For the thrill of whatever bullshit we came with or just because I am a bit scared to lose my only friend?? Probably some of all of those anyways I am not a pussy.

¨Deal you fat loser, make sure to tape it correctly and prepare your wallet bro¨

As I climb up the bridge my man Jimmy already recording my glorious deed, that’s most likely very stupid idea.

¨Why so slow, do you want to pussy out?¨

Yea,yeah, make fun of me you bastard. I am not fit for this Jesus. Climbing into height doesn’t make me sick or anything but I am quite a bit overweight so I do have some physical issues.

¨No way man, I might be breathing heavily but that’s just because I am climbing this fucking bridge you dickhead¨

Hahaha. Jimmy almost pissing his pants while watching me struggle is like normal day for me but it is annoying right now. Well I climbed up top and whatever the reason I was getting electrocuted from overhead lines for trolley.

I have suffered a lot, tooth pain and some very badly broken bones in particular. But I have never felt more pain than this. It is insane! My entire body hurts. I wish to die and slowly I actually wish to die. How long will this last? Is this some kind of hell loophole where it is repeating forever already? Is it possible for me that I might actually survive this? Am I that tough? God please help.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Last moments that I properly remember are full of insane pain where even after I lost my vision I still felt pain. Then I think I felt something that was like falling down, probably from the fucking bridge. Yea I am dead. But wait…? If I were dead I wouldn’t be able to think right? Fuck YEAH!!!! I lived.

Hope and a bit of proud feeling that I actually survived being electrocuted forever and falling down from like fifteen meters was all I could think off. But that was all too good to be true. Am I in hospital sleeping or something? Nope there is no way. I am dead. This not only takes too long but I am gradually starting to feel weird. This darkness would be cool and all that because I can still think that this is some sort of passing out and waking up eventually moment, but I think weirdly drifting somehow in my mind is not normal and then I can see a lot of fucking weird colors that I simply cannot comprehend and visualize properly.

It has taken me about a month to fully comprehending what actually is all around me. No one would say they believe me if I told them. But I saw pictures or if we can even say I saw it. More like I knew what it is all around me.

It were all kinds of body parts mostly in bundles that always made up something usually it seemed like weirdly dissected animals. But it was too much bullshit for me. What is this? It makes NO SENSE!!!

I spend a lot of time thinking about what is this and that blabla… but I still had no idea. It did resemble some sort of creating screen or so but no information except few pictures or so were there, no one to explain anything and most importantly it was insane amount of information constantly streaming into my mind. If there even is more information about this I am starting to be considerably worried that I will straight up cease to exist as me if I continue to be in this space for a longer period of time.

Fuck it. I started to do everything in my mind I thought possible thinking off to get me away from there. I was scared, confused and weirdly sleepy.

It was a good idea because after a while all these weird pictures started to weirdly shuffle and disappear into a huge almost like explosion of brightness. It took me with it pulled me into the bright light as if black hole greedily sucking everything not giving anything a chance to escape. Maybe it was an implosion then but I didn’t wanted to delete myself Jeeeeesuss…

It felt way better than dying. What it was I didn’t know. Was I going to heaven? Was it some weird transcend situation after I grasped weird concept to desperately hold onto my own ego? No idea.

After a while I see super bright again and my eyes hurt. Eyes huh? Nice. That means I am waking up fuck yeah stupid dreams that was, I am ready to smack Jimmy once I wake up as usual. But no… after only a short while my eyes started to get used to my surroundings and I noticed that I am for sure in a cave like place. I wish that was the only thing I noticed after my eyes got used to this weird situation. Not only was I not waking up in hospital but I had whiskers? Also my eyes can weirdly move too well and the vision is completely different from what I would regard as normal sight. Not really colors and vision being completely blur around the sides like most of my vision is actually blurred.

¨Squeak, squeak, squeak???? SQUEAK!!SQUEAK!!!!

Okay… I cannot speak either I guess. What the f. Whiskers, colorblind, blurry vision, weird freedom of movement of the eyes… and yes a fucking tail. I tried to think about moving my weird ass dick as I would first think that I had a hard on. Fortunately or not I didn’t and it was a tail. My head was also weirdly reminiscent of biology class where I actually remembered the specific animal that has all of those and is also super annoying disgusting squeaking pest.

Rat. I am a fucking rat. Yeap. I am a rat.

¨Squa sque squack¨

Fuck me, cannot even curse properly anymore!!!