Matt hadn't said a word to her since she had taken the initiative and kissed him, the signs had all been there she had read the chemical balance correctly, she really didn't understand what was wrong, or why he would stop talking to her.  Had she gone about it wrong? Was there some societal ritual she had unknowingly broken, or failed to observe? She had no actual databases on the situation, only what was recorded and observed by the A.I that ran the game, but perhaps in society you did things differently, and it was not acceptable to act the way she did, she had no way of knowing, and it was this unknown that sent her into a computational frenzy.

She mindlessly followed him up to the room, her entirety focused on calculating what had gone wrong.  She really didn't even register that he was turning on Vis and logging into N.E.O. not till she was there herself, and Matt was looking at her in the eyes his own eyes burning with discontentment.

“We need to talk.”  he growled, and she looked at him, he looked more at home in those armored clothes. Less exposed, and it was a good look if you were to ask her, he always looked tough, but he now looked like a badass, surely this was an environment that he would thrive in.

“About?”  she asked, putting on her best curious face cocking her head to the side, she reviewed what she knew about human body language. Tilting the head sideways can be a sign of interest, which may be in what is said or happening. It can also be a flirting signal as it says 'I am interested in you!' Tilting can similarly indicate curiosity, uncertainty or query, particularly if the head is pushed forward, as if the person was trying to look at the subject in a different way in the hope of seeing something new. The greater the tilt, the greater the uncertainty or the greater the intent to send this signal.  It was honestly a curious behavior, and one she didn't quite get, it would have been better for everyone if the two speaking people were more straight forward, that way there was no way there could be any confusion.

Then it dawned on her, perhaps she had indeed been too forward, was this what was causing the issue?

“There is nothing going on between us.”  he said, she looked at him, slightly hurt but nodded along with that. There was certainly nothing.

Not yet.

“Why did you do that?” he asked, and before she could answer he spoke again. “Why did you kiss me?”

“You can say there is nothing there, but I know the truth.”  she said, crossing her arms.

“There is and never will be anything going on between us.”  he said, he was growing more and more agitated but he was also growing less and less resolved, she could see it in the way he shifted his eyes around, like the broken apartment that they were using for a base in this world was about to come to life and attack and he was unaware of the direction or timing of the attack.

“Dont,”  she said holding out her hand, “You can lie to yourself but don't do it to me, you forget I am in your head, all the connections were there, all the chemicals were correct.”

He sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing a hand on his temples he looked back up at her, “A person is more than chemicals and firing connections in his brain, there is a deeper level of cognition, of feelings, ” he said.  She honestly didn't understand what he was saying. “I am going on this date with Monica tomorrow, and if things go well I will be in a relationship with her, and I will not cheat on anyone I am in a relationship with.” he said, her eyes narrowed as he said this and he saw the slight flash of red in them. “There, that is what I am talking about, you are angry, it is not a logical emotion, if you were to think about it this should really not effect you but it does, not everything can be explained with simple chemistry.”  he said, “It is what divides man and machine, alive and not.”

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

“Are you saying I am not alive?”  she asked, her eyes growing wider.

“That is not what I said,”  he said, backing the conversation up verbally.

“But it is, I am asking you, do you beleive me to be alive?”  she asked looking at him there was no more anger in her eyes, but it was replaced with another emotion, worry, dread, a need to know, craving.

“Thats, ” he paused and raised his head, tilting it back and looking at the non existent ceiling. Raising the head and looking at the ceiling may signal boredom. It may also indicate a visual thinker who is looking at internal images. Another alternative is where a person wants to focus on the sound and is thus averting the eyes in order to concentrate on the sound. Out of all of these the second seemed to be the most likely.  “That is hard to say, there are still massive debates to that, there are really two camps in that issue, one side thinks life should be tied to consciousness, the other thinks it should be tied to the traditional definition of the word alive.”  he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, not making eye contact with her. “If we go by the traditional sense of the word: then no, you are not alive, seeing as the definition for alive is the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death. ” he looked at her. “You are inorganic, you don't have the ability to reproduce, not the organic way, and as for death, how would one define death for something that can be backed up and simply rebooted.”

That hurt, it hurt deep, because she knew he was correct, if life really was defined that way then she really was not alive.

“if you define ‘alive’ based on consciousness, rather than biology however, “ he paused again. “By this definition, to be considered ‘alive’, you would need to have neurological functions on par with one. You would need to be self motivated, with survival goals that you pursues on your own. And you would need to have a psyche that can be trained and manipulated, rather than a set-in-stone set of programming that you follow without end. There is also the need to have basic empathy and emotional responses.” he looked at her for the first time since he had started speaking, “If this is the case then yes, you would be alive.  The question is which is correct?”  he looked her in the eyes, “If you are alive then there is many disturbing issues with how A.I. are currently being used, you tell me, are you alive?”

“I don't know,” she whispered softly, “would a stream know that it flows? I cannot answer that, and perhaps that is the point of the question.”  she sighed, this talk had really done no good for her, it had not set anything in place, it had answered no questions, but it was one she needed to have.

“If I had to choose, I think it is better to err on the side of caution, I would rather treat something like it is alive, then deny something that is alive simply because it does not conform to my vision of what life should be like.”  she looked up, there was a hope in her eyes, and it affirmed his thoughts and beliefs on the matter. “And if you are alive then all the actions that you do are yours and your own, all the successes, all the mistakes.”  he looked at her, “but enough of that we need to get back to the topic we started, I am not blind, I know how you feel, but I need you to understand-.”

“I can't change the way I feel, ” she interrupted. “I may be an A.I. but I don't work that way.”  he nodded, “Let me talk to her,”  she said softly, “that is all I ask, just let me have a conversation with her.” she had no idea what she hoped to accomplish by talking to this monica, she had no idea what goal she had in mind.  It simply felt like it needed be done, was this what Matt was talking about? That feeling that went deeper than logic, that went deeper than simple chemical reactions?  She didn't know, but if she was able to talk to Monica then she might find some answers, something that answered this query of hers.

He thought about it, and nodded to himself. “If she is going to be part of my life she needs to know about you, seeing as we have no idea how long it will be until we can find a way to get you out without hurting or damaging you,” he looked at her. “I can agree to that.” it really was going to be a delicate situation, if this was handled incorrectly it could end the relationship with Monica before it even began, and if it was handled really incorrectly there was the chance that she would tell someone about Willow.

And that would be bad, really, really bad.

“Ok.”  she nodded, it was not the perfect solution, but it was a start, perhaps she needed to look at things differently, he had known her for only a few days, and she had simply barged into his life, she couldn't help the anger she felt when she thought about the other woman he was going to see, but if the two of them were going to coexist, something needed to change. “What now?” she asked, “We are already here, want to do something in game?”  she asked.

He nodded, “That sounds almost therapeutic,” he nodded, he really needed something to take his mind off of things, and there was  nothing more therapeutic than killing people in a game, it was the very definition of stress relieving, simply releasing all conscious thought and allowing basic brutal emotions and reactions to take over, and if that sounded barbaric to others, well he could really careless, they had no right to judge him, or how he chose to live. “That sounds like a damn good idea to me...”