{Spa Resort Nazarick, the Men's Bath, the day before departure…}

"Ainz-sama, You are too kind to us," remarked Demiurge, taking a seat opposite Ainz in the hot, steaming water. Cocytus sat next to him, and Mare sat next to Ainz, a warm towel wrapped around his head. Ainz had told the male Guardians to pick where to relax that day, and once it was made clear that Ainz would not choose for them, they had unanimously chosen the Spa Resort. Ainz said nothing, simply waving him off.

"I. Am. Still. Perplexed. With. How. Ainz-sama. Can. Defer. To. Us. Unworthy. Ones. And. Our. Tastes. Or. Spend. Time. With. Us. Personally."

"The matter is simple, Cocytus. I want each of you to relax as best as you can. You do important work for me. That is why I have set aside time for rest as well as vacations."

"I. Still. Do. Not. Comprehend. Ainz-sama. Forgive. My. Inadequacy."

"Relax, Cocytus."

"Ainz-sama, forgive me if this seems disobedient, but may I inquire as to the reasons of this? The many facets of your infinite intellect escape my meager comprehension. Given the circumstances and our current equipment, we are able to work 24 hours a day indefinitely, and that method provides greater efficiency for Nazarick."

"You are right, Demiurge. Each of you are capable of working without rest or cease for any amount of time, and if peak efficiency within the Great Tomb of Nazarick was my ultimate goal, we would not be relaxing in the Spa Resort." The male Guardians shifted in their places, shocked by Ainz's words.

"A-Ainz-s-sama… th-that's not y-y-your goal?" asked Mare, lifting the warm towel off his face to look at Ainz.

"No, Mare. I haven't really mentioned this before until now, but I suppose now is the best time to. I will mention it to the female Guardians later. The truth is, the Great Tomb of Nazarick is of secondary concern to me. It is worth protecting, and if it was somehow destroyed, it would impose great expense on us to rebuild. But that's the thing. The Great Tomb of Nazarick, the structure, I mean, can be rebuilt. Replaced, in the worst-case scenario. But in Nazarick there are treasures that I cannot replace if they are permanently destroyed."

"The World Items in the Treasury?" asked Demiurge.

"The World Items can be stolen, but it's likely we can find more. The Theocracy has at least one, as we know. I'm not thinking in terms of items, though. I said it before, and I will say it again. All of you are those treasures." The male Guardians' shock deepened at this, as if he had not spent the last five years saying that to them. It was like they had heard it the first time.

"My ultimate goal is to protect you, and to see each of you develop into individuals. That is why we must destroy the Theocracy. They have the means to possibly hurt you, and I will not allow that. All of you are precious to me, you are my Children." Cocytus was looking blankly into a corner. Demiurge seemed to be reevaluating his existence. Ainz felt a small hand on his upper arm. Mare's. He turned his head to look at the smiling dark elf boy, who was gazing up at him with pure, childlike adoration. "I would destroy all of Nazarick and every item inside it, if it meant keeping even one of you safe." Mare's meek and innocent wonder gave way to meek and loving sobs, clinging to Ainz's humerus. Ainz reached an arm over to pat the boy's golden hair.

"Ainz. Sama." Cocytus' voice was heavy with respect.

"Sasuga… Ainz-sama," said Demiurge, his own voice cracking. The silence was interrupted by an excited squeak muffled by an intervening wall.

{Spa Resort Nazarick, Womens' Bath, a few minutes before…}

Albedo, Shalltear, and Aura had settled into their own hot bath, safe from the watchful eyes and ears of Luci Fer's Bath Guardian.

"Hey, Shalltear, how long do you think it'll take to deal with these stupid humans?"

"What are you talking about, Shorty? They'll last until Ainz-sama says so, and then they won't be anymore."

"I mean, what He said makes sense. They could have some other World Items, so that means they might be less of a pushover for us."

"More interesting, you mean. I suppose that's the only thing those pests have going for them. They really upset me, though. They made me do something unacceptable."

Albedo butted in at the worst time. "I know Ainz-sama says it wasn't your fault, Shalltear, but I think He was just saying that since He is a sweet and compassionate master. When you took Him on, Cocytus placed the odds at 3:7, in your favor." Shots fired.

"Oh, I see how it is, Albedo. You're going to remind Him of that every time you can, so you can delude yourself into thinking that you're going to be His first wife. That sounds just like you, Albedo. You aren't adequate enough for Him, so you have to push the more deserving down so you can actually have a chance! Isn't that pathetic, Aura?" And now a neutral party was brought into the fray. Albedo and Shalltear glared at Aura menacingly. The dark elf girl knew that she had a choice of evils now. She could support Shalltear, and risk the wrath of the Guardian Overseer, who had Ainz's ear, or she could support Albedo, and risk alienating her "sister," the strongest Guardian she knew of besides the 4th Floor golem, Gargantua.

"Er… Can I please… stay out of this? I think that you'd both make wonderful wives for Ainz-sama when he decides to marry you… and I don't think He's the kind to pick favorites."

"Stop dawdling, Aura, you won't get out of this. You have two choices and only one of them is right."

"And I don't think the Guardian Overseer realizes which one is actually right." Albedo changed tack.

"Oh dear, I think I might have to talk to Ainz-sama about this scandalous affair. I'll have to inform Him about division and rebellion in Nazarick, Aura. It'd be a shame if Ainz found out that you refused to support your superior."

Shalltear saved Aura from having to commit to one side or another. "You know what? I don't need Aura to back me here. Your empty threats speak for themselves. I think I'll talk to Ainz-sama after this. I wonder what He'll think about you pulling rank!"

"I am well within my bounds as Guardian Overseer, Shalltear. I kindly remind you not to overstep yours." It was anything but kind. Aura stepped in.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

"While I love talking about how awesome Ainz-sama is, wouldn't it be better to talk about stuff that isn't going to cause you two to fight like this? I'll start. I still think that Ainz's plan to deal with the Dragon Lords was totally cool, even three years later!"

"Pure genius. He had planned everything from way before He even mentioned the Council State to me," Albedo said. Shalltear nodded in agreement, their feuding forgotten. Five years of practice in defusing situations between the two rivals had paid off for Aura. Albedo continued. "That Platinum Dragon Lord fought us first in the old human kingdom."

"Wasn't it Pandora's Actor who fought the Dragon Lord the first time?" asked Shalltear.

"Yes, it was! I couldn't even tell the difference at in the heat of moment. All I knew was that my Mo… Ainz-sama was being attacked, and that I had been drawn away from Him by the annoying insect in the Powered Suit. It makes me mad just remembering that Ainz-sama was being attacked. I completely exploded, and I didn't even need my bardiche to demolish that vermin that dared try to hurt Ainz-sama. When we met the Dragon Lord again (oh, this was something only Ainz-sama could have thought of,) Ainz-sama had me fake my death after a huge battle, but not until after I completely wrecked that stupid Armor and everything for miles around it to pieces! It was amazing to do be in the frontlines of the Supreme One's glorious machinations!" By the end, Albedo was positively squealing with excitement.

"And then their precious Council State was so scared, they were practically grovelling at Ainz-sama's feet, like all inferior beings should, begging and pleading for peace, peace that Ainz-sama in His infinite kindness saw fit to grant them. I wonder if that Platinum Dragon Lord is still licking his wounds after all this time. That armor certainly needed some repair," added Shalltear, smugly. At that point, the muffled sound of voices appeared. One high-pitched and youthful, one refined, another other lower and richer, and one almost inaudibly low and short.

"… the higher one sounds like Mare."

"I forgot!" squeaked Albedo. "Ainz-sama and the other Guardians are in the other bath!" The succubus giggled lightly.

"Shall we… take a look, Albedo?" inquired Shalltear, her face tinted with a naughty blush. "I don't think anyone noticed that our vent was loose, hehe."

"Of course, Shalltear." Aura facepalmed in embarassment.

"You know, that's kinda perverted…"

"Is something wrong, Aura? From what you said, you make it sound wrong to admire the glorious body of a Supreme being," menaced Albedo. "Would you like to try again?"

"N-no, Albedo! I didn't mean it like that! I just meant that it's wrong to invade the Supreme Being's privacy like that!"

"Well, He hasn't ordered us not to do this, so it's alright," said Shalltear.

"But He doesn't even know!"

Albedo glared at Aura with newfound fury.

"Ainz-sama is all-knowing! If He didn't approve of our admiration, even at a time like this, we would know. Or do you think that the Supreme Beings are not all-knowing?" growled Albedo. Aura shook her head fervently, looking up fearfully at Albedo. "That's what I thought, Aura. Which is why you will not waste His time telling Him things He already knows." She smirked to herself.

Albedo and Shalltear got out of the hot bath, making their way to their specially prepared peephole, a small vent in the wall. Aura looked away. The two ladies were completely naked.

"Please, can you get towels, or something?! I don't need to see all that-" She trailed off. "Ugh…" She groaned. Her request had fallen on deaf ears.

"Can you see Him? Albedo, tell me!"

"Quiet! We don't want to disturb the Supreme One. Yes, I see Him, and He's so beautiful and magnificent and amazing and sexy and- AAH!"

Shalltear had just shoved Albedo out of the way to see for herself. Aura grabbed a towel, gracefully wrapped herself in it, and made her way towards her two mischievous colleagues. Ainz-sama had commanded her to keep them out of trouble. And that's exactly what she was going to do.

{Ainz's Office, Nazarick… a few hours later.}

Ainz had summoned the Guardians again to deliver special instructions regarding the next day. Albedo and Shalltear flanked him on either side, still running high off the fact that they had just viewed him in the bath. In addition to the squad of Guardians, also there were Narberal Gamma and CZ2128 Delta.

"Guardians. You will accompany me tomorrow. That you know. What I want to inform you of is that I am bringing the leaders of our human and demi-human subjects. Emperor Jircniv Rune Farlord El-Nix, our good King Caspond of the Holy Kingdom, Zaryusu Shasha, the Dwarven Chief of Staff, Pe Riyuro, Marquis Raeven, and Mayor Enri Bareare of Carne Village.

Narberal, I'd like you to assume the role of Nabe, and I'll [Message] you to bring you through via [Gate]. CZ Delta, I want you to keep watch of our subjects. As I said, I am bringing their leaders along, and I'd like you to serve as physical security for the leaders against any threat. The Theocracy may think themselves clever and attack our physically inferior subjects. Shalltear will assist you in the matter of transportation. Shalltear, you can send CZ on her way immediately. Have the leaders gather in the Round Table Room. Also, I recommend you wear a different dress than your usual, in case someone recognizes you."

"Ainz-sama, the Supreme Beings sat in the Round Table Room in the old days. Shall these human slaves sit in the chairs of gods?"

"Yes, Albedo. They will. I'm open to suggestions if any of you feel that place is inappropriate. Are there any?"

"How can any of us make a suggestion to supersede the will of our Lord and Master?" murmured Albedo. Those present nodded in agreement with Albedo. Ainz wasn't fooled.

"Very well then. The Guest Quarters it is. Gather our future visitors in the Guest Quarters, CZ."

"A-Ainz-sama…" gasped the succubus. One could almost feel the anxiety in the room. "Forgive me, Ainz-sama. I overstepped my bounds."

"Relax, Albedo, it's fine. You are the chief administrator of Nazarick. You've spent more time here than I have in the last five years. It is your duty to suggest alternatives and to objectively examine my commands." The uneasiness released almost immediately, once it was pointed out that no wrong was done.

"Thank you, Ainz-sama, our great and merciful Ruler." Perhaps coming from someone else it might have sounded fake or sarcastic, but Albedo's voice showed the opposite. She said what she said with conviction and sincerity.

"It's fine, Albedo. Now then, as I was saying, we will be accompanied by our vassals. I command each of you to restrain yourselves around them. There will be no name-calling, no deportation to the Happy Farm, and no disintegrations, lacerations, decapitations, eviscerations, or any form of torture." Demiurge looked slightly disappointed. "Let me put it this way: forgive them for their faults as I forgive you. Be lenient towards their inevitable indecorum. Our Wands of Resurrection are limited enough as is, and many of our subjects are too weak to even bear the strain of it. Any questions?"

"We understand our orders in full, Ainz-sama," answered Albedo. Ainz scanned the room for any looks of confusion or uncertainty. Seeing none, he stood up.

"Splendid! I have no further orders for now. You are dismissed. Rest well. I will be visiting the Treasury for a short while."

{Undisclosed location, several hours later…}

Two voices whispering in the dark.

"So her scrying has proven useful? Excellent. What did she find?"

"The Theocracy possesses three World-class Items, and a fair number of Divine-class items, although in their records they overlap the two."

"The Divine-class items are of no concern. Tell me about the World Items. One we already know, the Downfall of Castle and Country."

"Ah, the World Items! Such power! Such majesty have they! Does not the very air shudder when it is said?"

"…Right. The other two items the Theocracy has."

"Ah, yes. Quite unexpected. They have two of the Twenty."

"I see… this may prove troublesome. Which items?"

"Ahura Mazda, and the Ouroboros."

"So they do not have Longinus. Good. Ahura Mazda I know, but the Ouroboros is unfamiliar to me. Remind me of its attributes again."

"The Ouroboros… Ooh... To bend the fabric of reality to one's will! The item has the power to grant one wish the user makes. Nothing, not even [Wish Upon A Star] can compare to the abilities of the Ouroboros. One wish can be made, and then the Item vanishes forever! That is what I have read in the Archives."

"Your infiltrators performed adequately in obtaining this information. It will prove useful in advancing our plan. Remember the objective. We will eliminate any of the Scum who abandoned Him, and in doing so, secure His authority. And I will be together with my Love until the end of time…"