FEBRUARY 27th, 2022

JEN V

I took the helmet off and my vision was blurry of the room around me. My body ached and exhaustion went through my body like a bolt of lightning. I looked over toward Jay who was leaning against the desk and rapping his fingertips across the top. Suddenly he looked like he had aged half a decade since I had put on the helmet.

“You look worried,” I said.

“I’m just thinking about things. I feel bad that you’re involved in this—both you and your brother. That you had to come to this hellhole to feel like you were helping.”

“I came here because I chose to. Don’t you get sappy on me too—or do I have to remind you as well it’s Jack who is at fault?”

He laughed. “You’re funnier than your father. That much is certain. If there’s anything I can say you definitely do more resemble David in personality.”

“I’m sorry you lost your coworker,” Jen said. “Nobody’s said that to you, right? I don’t care about losing my dad because Andy’s right. Jack’s no father.”

“David was my friend—more than just a coworker. The rest of us who worked here were friends. Jack’s always been an outsider in that sense—but he wasn’t hostile until the Radical-9 Incident.”

“What was he like before that?” I asked.

“He was...strange. He kept to himself mainly. I could tell when he did try to join conversation he was trying really hard—and I tried to include him, but...” he shrugged. “Things just didn’t mesh as well as me and the others.”

“I wonder what’s running through his mind,” I said.

“I think we all do,” Jay said with an air of finality. “Well, let’s say we head out of here? Your mother must be worried sick.”

“She was sleeping when I left. What time is it?”

“5:13 in the morning.” He said.

“Ah...crap,” I said. “School’s today...Well, not that I’m going to go. I’ve got more than enough responsibility at home to declare a sick day if I need it—and the people at school know my situation enough to not question it...but Mom’ll notice I’m not there...”

“She’s not doing so hot, huh?” Jay asked. “Damn...Elena used to be David’s light. Those two were something special.”

“Yeah...” I said, looking down to the floor—averting his gaze. “I’ve...never known that. Andy did most of the work raising me until I could get a job, and then he started up with these games I had to take over.”

“I’m so sorry,” Jay said. “I didn’t know things were that bad off—I want to help now.”

“How?” I asked.

“We’ll start slow. You need any help around the house and I can provide it—I have some savings from my work.”

“That...would be way too much,” I said, looking back to him. “I couldn’t ask that of you.”

“Then don’t ask.” He said. “If I had known I would have sought you out much earlier.”

“Thank you Jay.”

“Of course. It’s the least I can do to honor David’s memory. Now come on,” he cocked his head. “Let’s get you home.”

“Would you like to come see her? My mom, I mean?”

He thought on it and then shook his head. “I probably shouldn’t. All I’d do is stir up painful memories. I don’t want to cause her any undue stress.”

“Do you think you could help me get her into a program? Something to help her work on herself? Then maybe you could help be a part of the past that isn’t gone...after all this business of course. Saving Andy is my top priority right now.”

He looked at me and smiled. “I can definitely do that. I see a fire in your eyes that is very familiar. You are a Cress.”

We took extra care in leaving the Republic Plaza. I gripped the railing tight as we descended the stairs.

“I’ve parked down the street—roads around here aren’t really all that trustworthy.”

“Oh, how long of a drive will it be to Aurora?”

“A little less than half an hour I’d think.”

“Oh that’s great!” I said. “We can make it back before 6 and I can sneak back into my room.”

“You still on Cardale avenue?”

I looked at him and nodded.

“Okay, easy enough. Funny story—I actually got lost there my first time driving, here I can tell you on the way.”

~...~

I waved him off when I stepped out of the car. He had given me his number to call if I needed to talk about anything. I felt a lump in my stomach as I approached the front porch and held my hand up against the door. A part of me feared that my mother had woken up and her maternal instincts kicked in—alerting her that her daughter was missing and the worry that she felt would have killed me. I slowly turned the handle and crept inside.

Sneaking into your own home felt twice as dirty—I couldn’t imagine doing this on a weekly basis. The guilt would eat me alive. I tiptoed across the carpet and silently thanked god that it made no sound. Now that I was home I was safe.

Jake didn’t have that luxury. Jesus, that thought hit heavy. My body was out of adrenaline—out of that must help Andy juice. Jake returned like an ocean tide to my mind. It overcame any fear I had about my mother and it carried me down as I slinked up to my room.

I fell on my bed and replayed the scene back in my mind. What could I do? Go to the police? Fat chance that’d do anything useful. His dad’s the guy who’d be sent to deal with me.

I cried. I hated that I did because I knew once I started I wouldn’t stop. I don’t remember falling asleep, but I must have because all at once I looked around me and I wasn’t in my bed. I felt a strange warmth—a foreign feeling that brought with it a sense of dread I couldn’t place. There was a crackling sound that was almost like a campfire. I opened my eyes and saw a mixture of reds and oranges, leather and metal. The colors and sounds all meshed into one large and uniform being, fear. They separated once more and it came into focus.

I was sitting in the backseat of a car. It crashed. Fire surrounded me and smoke as black as charcoal bellowed upwards. The smell of burnt rubber filled my nostrils; I choked. I tried to cry out, but no voice came.

There was a body lurched over the steering wheel in the driver’s seat. It was a man who looked considerably older than me. His blond hair was cut short to his head. He sustained a lot of wounds in the crash, but he seemed to still be alive.

He raised his head and looked around him, blood dripped from a gash on the back of his head onto his neck. He faced me and looked instantly relieved, tears formed in his eyes, “Oh thank god,” he said. His voice was hoarse, his face looked worse than he sounded. He had bright blue eyes, but a long cut ran down the side of his face with red. He worked his way out of the car seat and kicked at the window to his left. It held once, twice, but at the third kick it shattered.

Outside I could see that there was another car at the other end of the highway. I craned my neck to see a figure stepping out of the car very slowly. The bloodied man was working as fast as he could to worm his way out of the burning vehicle. He nearly collapsed onto the ground outside. I couldn’t move. The bloodied man smashed in the window behind the driver’s seat next with his elbow. If he’s trying to get to me, why open that window? Surely the one next to me is easier?

Then I noticed the infant sitting next to me in the car. Of course, I’m not really here, this must be one of those out of body experiences, and that must mean that the small child here is…me. But what would I be doing here? I don’t…remember this. I heard a loud noise like an explosion rang out.

I woke up in my bed, sweating. That didn’t feel like a normal nightmare...I looked over to the clock beside my bed and saw it was only nine in the morning. I brushed my face off and wearily walked out, over to my mother’s bedroom door. I slid it open slowly and saw that she was still asleep under her covers. I let the door close and went downstairs. I grabbed a sheet of paper and wrote on the front “Taking a mental health day. Might go out to the park later. Love you xoxo. '' Once finished I capped the marker I’d used and set up the note on my door frame.

I closed my door and climbed back into bed. I felt myself being absorbed once more into the dreams. In them I saw a much younger version of myself. I must have been at least five or six. I was back at the Republic Plaza—I could recognize the lobby even though it wasn’t wrecked like it was now.

I was wearing a yellow dress with sunflowers decorated all across it. My hair was pinned up and my blue eyes were a curious sort. Standing beside me was a younger Jay; his hair was darker and his face hadn’t been filled with all of the culminated regret I saw so plainly on his face in the waking world. We flashed over to an R&D laboratory on one of the higher floors—it felt like I was living on fast forward. There was another man on the far side of the room—On the other side of the room there was a second man, he is a little bit older, he looked exactly how Andy had described him—short blond hair and a face I had to catch my breath when I saw it.

Jay spoke, “Jack, you have to tell me you see at least the smallest thing wrong with this whole thing,”

My father shrugged him off, giving a blank stare, “What? This is suddenly a problem for you now, is that it?” His voice isn’t how I pictured it at all, it’s almost gentle.

“I’ve never been okay with this.” Jay said.

“And yet you remain! Maybe it’s because you really aren’t as against it as you think. Or maybe you know what would happen if you did. Did their stories end happily ever after?”

My father’s blank face faded into a gaunt drill-like stare. He stepped up to Jay and if looks could kill I don’t believe anyone in the Northern Hemisphere would be alive right now.

My father sneered at Jay, “I don’t need to think twice about what those two idiots chose to do once they left because they’re no longer needed around here. You, I still have need for, and don’t you think for a second that hiding your son in New York would do anything to save him from what would happen if you cross me.” He looked over to me—the five year old me and then back to Jay. “You should be thanking me that I don’t need him here right now. You should be on your knees.” and gives a nasty grin. “She’s lucky I need her or else I’d make an example right now,” he said.

“What kind of monster are you?” Jay asked. “Is there anything left in that heart of yours?”

My father cocked his head. “I don’t seem to recall giving you permission to think. I’m nothing if not generous. I’m giving her what should have been mine. We’re done talking about this. You’re done acting this way. I know John’s with some foster fucks in New York, but I don’t need to act on that information now because I don’t need your son. Don’t make me need your son.” The door behind him slid open and another man walked through. He had long dark hair that shined in the lights above. He walked past Jay and right to Jack. It scared me how much he looked like Andy, give or take twenty years.

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“Sir, the test you requested on Samuel is complete,” he said, his voice the deepest out of the three of them.

“And the Radical-9?” My father asked.

“It’s currently merging with his system, we should have results soon,” he said.

“That’s great David. Now, I must make my leave, I’ve a meeting with Benjamin Gupta about a prospective project I have in mind.” Jack said, nodding his head and walking past them both, grabbing a dark coat off of one of the nearby tables and throwing it on. “David, I want you to resume testing on Jennifer. Jay, don’t get in the way.” His eyes flashed darkly.

“Jack, any more and-”

“Don’t get in the way,” he repeated, and with a crack he vanished out of sight, it left a trail of light behind him, blinding me momentarily.

My mind flashed back to Radical-9…it sounds so familiar. I remember! It was Jay, he had that vial of green liquid that super-powered The Rabbit! But what did it mean if it was in me?

“Dave, you have to know that that girl cannot go through more testing,” Jay said.

“You know how things are,” he said. “It’s just a job, Jay. Stop taking it so personally.”

“Dave-”

“I had hoped you would have moved passed this,” David said. “You saw what happened to them, right?”

“They got out before they got trapped!”

“You’re sounding just like them, you know.” he said, disgust plain on his face.

“And you’re sounding just like him,” Jay said.

“I’m sorry Jay, but I have to take you off the project. You have too much personal opinion in this. I’m reassigning you to Dreamscape,” David said.

“You don’t have the authority to reassign me,” Jay said, standing up full.

“I’m afraid I do. Boss man left me in charge, after all,” David said, shaking his head with what looked to be a grin.

I didn’t like it one bit.

David nodded and sighed, grabbing my five year old self by the arm. Jay stood back and bit his lip as the door closed behind him. He sighed. “Oh you incessant fuck, what have you done?”

He pulled the phone out of his pocket and sent a single text, “Couldn’t convince him. Go ahead.”

A moment passed, and a silence seemed to fill the void before the explosion rang out from below the both of them. The smoke cleared and my ears stopped ringing, In the doorway was a tall and lanky man with bright blue eyes—the figure seemed familiar until I realized he was the man I saw driving the car in the previous dream. He had short dirty blond hair and had very sharp facial features.

“Quite the entrance, huh Greg?” Jay asked.

“I don’t believe this is the time, correct?”

“Right, Dave’s heading to the experiment lab.”

Greg sighed, “Son of a bitch. All right.”

The two ran out of the busted wall, turned the corner and ran down the hallway until they found the stairwell. I followed close behind them like a spirit. They continued up the stairs as another explosion rang out, the lights cut out above them.

“Is that one you, too?” Jay asked.

“Yeah, I brought three packs with me, one to cut the power, one to bust you out, and one for emergencies,” Greg said.

They threw open the door to the next floor and began running through the dark, small fires illuminated their path. A part of the ceiling fell and extinguished a patch of flames to their right. They found a body running just ahead of them and I could see the smallish figure that was my younger self by his side. I heard a clicking and both Jay and Greg stopped on a dime. Greg had made it farther up the stairs and was face to face with David and myself past the corner. Jay was still at the bottom of the stairwell.

David had stopped holding my arm and was now pointing a pistol at Greg’s head.

“You crazy fuckers are going to back off,” he said.

“Dave, put the gun away, you don’t want to do that,” Jay said.

“And what is he doing here? You’re supposed to be running with your tail between your legs,” Dave said, pointing the gun towards Greg. “But now you’ve turned to terrorism? Really?”

“I’m here because you’re being a piece of shit.” Greg said. “There’s no time left to partake in this awful business.”

“You think I want to be here? That I want to do this?” He roared. “I’m doing what I have to. I’m—” the pistol flew up and slammed into David’s face. He let out a cry and held his hands to his face.

Greg stared at him imperceptibly and carried my younger body over to him as if by pure will alone. I floated through the air as more smoke started to fill the stairwell. I had no explanation for what I was seeing.

“Greg?! Are you okay? Dave?!” Jay called from the bottom of the stairwell.

“I’m here,” Greg said. “I’ve got Jennifer.”

“Greg, what happened?”

“He had a gun pointed at me, so I had to de-escalate the situation.”

“How the fuck did you do that?”

“I...I think I’m starting to get powers like Jack.”

Jay looked at him concerned. “Another time—we’ll have to talk about this at another time. We need to get out of here, now. You take Jennifer and get out of here as fast as you can. I’ll get numb nuts over here to safety. I’m taking this place down if it’s the last thing I do.”

“How do you expect to do that?” Greg asked.

“You have one more explosive, do you not? I’m going to set that up where it’s weakest here and hightail it out of here with Dave. He may be dumb, but he still has a family. You need to get her out of here, stat.”

“I only brought the one car, how are you going to get out?”

“I’ll figure it out. I’ll find a way to meet up with you. And who knows, maybe with some distance from Jack maybe he’ll come to his senses,” Jay said.

“I think you’re putting too much hope into this…”

“Forgive me, but I don’t want to lose one of my best friends,” Jay said.

“Okay, okay. I don’t either. Just be careful, okay?”

“You too.”

They were getting ready to leave. I realized I had a choice and so I followed Greg as he led me down the stairs. The surroundings got so hot as the fires continued to rage.

“Jennifer, cover your mouth, don’t breathe in the smoke,” Greg said to my younger self. I was crying and couldn’t keep a hold of myself. I did end up listening to him, though, and covered my mouth with my small hand. He kicked in the door to the lower floor lobby and we sprinted through the rubble that looked closer to how it did when I had come to see it. Fires consumed different parts of the desks and the furniture. We broke through and the sun beamed down on us as I turned around to see the absolute desolation of the building we were in.

Strangely, the rest of Denver didn’t seem to share in the despair that the Republic Plaza had. If I had looked at the city itself I could have been fooled to believe that a bombing didn’t just occur. What caused the entire city to end up in disarray?

Out front was a shoddy looking baby-food green colored car. It was very small, and Greg opened the back door, pushing for my younger self to sit in.

“Where is my dad?” I asked, finally done with crying.

“You’re dad is out for the time being, things are okay though. Things are going to be okay,” Greg said.

“Okay, where is Gavvy?” I asked.

“Gavin is with his mother, we’re actually going to see him,” Greg said, closing Sam’s door and walking around to buckle in my younger self. I took the opportunity to slide into the car beside the both of them. I moved right through Greg and my younger self as I was completely invisible to them.

“Is Gavvy okay?” I asked.

“As okay as any,” he said, starting the engine and turning around to me. “I’m sure he’d love to see you.. It’s going to be his fifteenth birthday soon. He’d definitely want his best buddy to be there to celebrate with him,” Greg said.

“Yay!” I say, a hesitant sort of sound came out of my mouth. I couldn’t tell if it was more excited or scared. Probably an even split of both.

A final explosion ripped through the Republic Plaza and Greg held his breath. “Be safe, Jay,” Greg whispered.

“Who is attacking us?” I asked, starting to cry again.”

“No one, it’s fine,” Greg said. He must have known that was the least helpful thing he could have said at that moment.

He pulls out into the street and began driving. We kept going for another fifteen minutes in complete silence. We made it onto the highway—traffic was light—I assume because everybody had already attempted to leave when the first explosion was reported on.

In the rear view mirror I could see a single car behind us—it looked like it was gaining fast. Greg tensed up as it got closer and closer. He pulled into the rightmost lane, keeping a second eye on the black machine. The other car moved into the leftmost lane and it seems to duck down as if a puma would. It then careened toward us and just narrowly missed clipping us.

“What’s happening?” I asked, holding the side tight.

“We’re going to be okay, you’re going to be okay,” Greg said.

The car approached one more time, I cannot see through the windshield of the car, it was tinted, almost like a one way mirror. It lurches down one more time. This time, it spun itself sideways before it launched up like a tiger. It leapt across the highway as if it were alive and came to a stop right in front of our car. We smashed into the rear—it sent us off to the side as the front of the car bent up like a tin can.

Greg’s head slammed into the steering wheel as we collided with the other car. My younger self was propelled forward, but the seat belt kept me back and from any serious head trauma. The familiar smell of burning rubber and smoke began to pervade the area.

I made my way to the other car. It was unfazed by the collision...which shouldn’t have been possible. The driver side door opened and out stepped my father. I could see in the passenger seat was a middle aged woman who was dead from a gunshot wound to the forehead.

My father rapped his hands on the steering wheel as if this were some everyday Sunday occurrence. “Lorraine, Lorraine. Now, you just had to get involved. You just couldn’t stay put in New York and now look at ya! Bullet in the brain and couldn’t even say goodbye to your...what were you two now? Separated? Divorced?” he tutted and turned to the corpse. “Well, doesn’t matter now. What ever will your son think of you when you do such stupid things? How could you not tell me you and Greg were coming to visit?” He waited. “Oh, what a shame indeed, and now look what you’ve forced me to do. Kill a mother, and now I have to go kill a father, I hope that this was worth orphaning your son.”

He bent over and kissed her cheek, and then the car erupted into flames as he stepped out. It repelled from his body as if he had a protective shield around him. I turned back to our car. I saw the window on the driver’s side shatter and Greg’s leg popped through. He must’ve woken. He crawled through the window and stumbled over to the back of the car and thrust his elbow into it. Greg thrusted again, making a crack in the window and then a third time breaks the glass.

My father removed a large revolver from underneath his coat and leisurely strolled over to the struggling Greg. I turned back toward him, “Turn around! He’s got a gun!” I hope that somehow, someway he’d be able to hear me and change his fate.

Jack got closer as Greg managed to break through the window and he pressed the muzzle of the gun against the back of Greg’s head. He cocks it and then smiles a devilish grin that would probably terrify even the devil. “Hi, Greg!” He pulled the trigger and his brains exploded into the car—all over my younger self. The gunshot rang out and I remember it as the loud explosion I heard.

Greg’s body fell and his neck caught in the window, leaving his bloodied head in full view for me to see. Jack holstered the gun and shook his head. I felt my body lift for the second time in one day, he had lifted me out of the car without lifting a finger. He held me out in front of him—I was a crying mess. He stared at me and forced the tears to stop. I remember a vague terrified feeling that came along with that. He crossed his arms as if he were waiting for something.

That something must have been the police as when the siren in the distance began to sound he cracked a smile and uncrossed his arms. In the distance I saw the flashing red and blue lights. They came closer until the squad car stopped just before the scene of the accident. The car door opened, and out steps Jake’s father in full police uniform. I can tell he is much younger, but he still looks just like his son. I hate him. I cannot decide who I hate more at the moment, either him or my father.

“Nice work, Carroway. Your response time was phenomenal,” Jack said.

He nodded his head, “It was certainly a pleasure, sir.”

“Keep this up and you’ll definitely earn that promotion you’ve been working for,” Jack said and wagged a playful finger at him.

He bowed his head like the lapdog that he was and opened up the door for my father to enter. He walked and sat in the passenger side of the police car.

“Carroway, I have another favor for you.”

“Yes sir?”

“The girl, find a place to put her. Adoption, side of the road, whatever you feel like. I don’t need her anymore, and I really have had enough bloodshed for one day,” he said.

“Are you certain?”

“Yes, I am sure.”

“Your will be done,” He said and the rest of the dream began to fade away. I stood as the police car vanished into the distance. Two burning cars and two burning parents. Whoever this Gavin was he was now going to be alone. I felt like I should be feeling worse—but as hard as I tried I couldn’t place any memories of us together. None of it felt like it was real, but inside my heart I knew that it was. It all faded away to black and I awoke with a slow transition back into reality.

I turned over and called the number Jay had given me. It rang twice before a tired sounding voice answered. “I need to talk.”