In the extremely wicked evil place that we call planet Earth, the function of the world which consists of religion, love, sex, and money. Factors of life which can simply be explained just by viewing them. With the heaviest emphasis on “the world revolves around money and sex.”
This has been seen as not just because of its truth, but because of its cadence which rings the ears of our youth. My experience of these world views began at such a young age but have not questioned why.
Is there is a hidden agenda on which these thoughts cannot coexist with one another?
Forget morals and rationality, let’s think outside the box for a minute. If these morals truly define humanity, what defined these morals to be the staples of humanity?
Perhaps it is natural law order, if so, we have no control over any of this. Or is that what we humans have agreed upon as a collective over thousands of years. A societal hivemind must we call it.
If we humans are to think coherently and decisively as one, the concept of war should be written into oblivion, yet we still struggle. Billions are affected by this overarching story.
Those of our past, present, and future. But the latter word may lose its meaning if the continuation of provoking others with power prevails. Of course, this is only a dream. A dream which many of us, especially those who experienced these tragedies, all yearn for endlessly.
The many efforts from our governments only lead to more chaos and sorrow. Those who blindly follow only add to the fire. The suppression of those who speak out against tyranny are persecuted, but those who cause the sorrow are backed by the same like-minded people.
Growing up, we’ve listened, we’ve watched, all while continuing to learn how bizarre our world truly is. When I imagine the state of the world all I see is nothing. That is because we’ve, but mostly I, became so detached from one another, but I alone am not the person to blame.
The real culprit is the change the happened within my surroundings. It is not your traditional surroundings, but it still carries one of the core fundamentals of it—love. If you happen to be one of the lucky few in our world who get to experience this then you would know the sheer amount of impact it can have on oneself.
I for one have never truly experienced this before to that fatal day in which my life would be compromised by the hands of one person. Which transformed into an entire family that shares the same compassion and justice as you. But this didn’t come easy without its fair share of plagues and hardships.
Tragedies that questioned my own morals and trust. If we could swallow our own prides and egos, my upbringing would be much different, thus having no issues in confronting my own morals.
But with the right support and love, change is possible. To truly understand the grasp of my hardships and fateful events that happened to shine upon me, we must engross ourselves in our personal history.
Mary Yamato, the name which everyone who walks this earth knows me by was a very shallow person.
Of course, I wouldn’t allow anyone to see this front forward, but the constant agony of trying to appeal to the masses was tiring.
The same morning Mary Yamato would wake up to was nothing special. The realization of her life may never turn around scared her every waking moment.
It should be a no brainer that you can’t please everyone, but to me, if one person was dissatisfied with me or my actions, it took a drastic toll on me. Physically I would seem okay, but mentally it drained me. Pleasing people was my only way of fitting in with the societal norms.
If that gets tarnished, then I would have nothing else to lean on.
It was my gateway drug. My classmates, teachers, parents, family members, the whole world practically placed me on this pedestal.
Due to this my and many others mental state has been destroyed by the ongoing pressure of the current age. It’s best to assume that I’m being harsh on myself, but I just simply cannot go past this turmoil.
It aches me every day, but due to how the world views mental health, we’re better off just pushing through it rather than leaning on someone else. But this could all just be in one’s head. I, myself may never know.
With each passing day, I thought nothing would change and I’d be stuck in this endless loop of misery.
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An angel’s hand had reached out to me. And in that very moment, my life had changed without me noticing. Absolute virtue was in front of me.
The world around me was covered in flames, this was a direct result of greed the world has set upon us. People that I once forced laughter with, and joy were lifeless bodies.
Yet for some reason, I did not feel any sadness. It might have been me trying to process the gravity of the situation, but that enlightenment never came. It was such a sight.
A calm voice in the distance asked the angel if I was alive. The angel who turned out to be a man gazed upon me.
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“Well, are you?” Reflectively nodding my head, which gave them confirmation.
The question still remained, why was I spared in this event? My death should have been written in the books.
The man looked with astonishment as if he was surprised himself.
Bruises were scattered all over my body, but in a way, it looked like they were earned through struggle. I cannot recall the moments that led up to this nor remember the event unfolding in front of me.
He was completely drenched in blood, and so was the girl that he was accompanied by. I, myself, was also covered in blood that was not mine. Bleak.
“—but do you want to be saved.”
The girl insisted that there was no time and basic aid should be provided.
What compelled me in this moment is something I cannot explain, yet it felt right. Abandoning this life was the only thing on my mind. It was a decision I made with great haste.
He understood my motives and introduced me up. The latter looked unimpressed but applauded my commitment. In the eighteen years of my existence, I have never felt truly proud of myself until now.
Is this really the correct answer—to leave my family, friends, and my normalness. I want to believe that I can manage that burden. Mary.
“It’s better when you don’t think about it, but if you do—don’t use some half ass reason to justify it.” Although she didn't say it directly to me, her eyes said it all. She was right. Excuses only prove that humanity doesn’t like taking accountability.
They were already at what would be the entrance to the school. To their eyes what they could see was the silhouette of a once broken individual. But to my eyes, I could see the future that awaited me.
My body was still gushing with adrenaline, so I was able to walk for quite a while. The question of their names still pondered my mind. But it was cut short when the man who looked no older than nineteen, started conversing with me.
‘How old are you, what’s your name,’ the basics. He introduced himself as Jun and the moody lady as Zoey. I could tell she didn’t want him to disclose that information to a stranger, but strangely, she didn’t comment about it.
He explained what had happened to the school, but all this information had perplexed me even more. A sudden terrorist attacks. In this world, terrorism isn’t a new trend or world issue, but what I didn’t get was that no law enforcement nor news, or anything got involved in this matter. Only two teenagers.
I wanted to delve into this matter more and question them about it, but his answers were vague, and it was a known fact that Zoey wasn’t going to speak on the matter either.
It was clear that they didn’t want to answer my questions, so I continued to walk silently. It stayed this way until we turned into an alleyway, Zoey leaned against the wall with her arms crossed only staring at me.
The world around me suddenly faded into darkness—I was passing out.
The adrenaline must’ve worn off. This body was finally failing on me. Here I was in a situation where most people wouldn’t want to be in. Yet, I felt safe with these two complete strangers.
The last sight my eyes would glare was the desolate stare of Zoey as if she were looking down on me and the black boots that were worn by Jun.
Will life change when I wake up? Or is it wishful thinking? My own pride was already washed away for years. This was either a new beginning for me, regaining my life or the continuation of my spiraling life.
The gossiping mummers of people that once controlled my life still rang in my head. Constantly reminding me that all I was doing was running away from my problems. Leaching off other people for my own benefit. But tis what benefit does my life have?
These thoughts always echoed in my brain, and I cannot seem to ever get rid of it. Mary, you always did question your humanity. Is this what they called self-reflection? Such a pity.
The heavy scent of cigarettes tickled my nostrils. All my eyes could see was a red hue masked by my eyelids. The same type of hue you would get being directly next to a light source.
The muffling of voices protruded behind me. You all are being too loud, tone it down. There was hair dangling over my face, and then soon after, a face appeared. It was Jun.
“Looks like sleeping beauty finally woke up. You were really out cold—”
“Not cold enough unfortunately.” Zoey remarked.
“Just ignore her, she’s always a little grumpy in the morning. Well, technically afternoon now.”
I glanced over towards Zoey, and she was sat on top of a granite desk situated on the wall.
Wait, did he say afternoon? I remember it being just a little past 9 a.m. But that was besides the point, my real question was where we were at.
The three of us were inside a grey room with just a chair and a desk. Interrogation vibes.
“Um, w-where are we?”
Jun hopped off from behind the chair and waltzed his way over to the door in front of me opening it. The bright lights illuminated the entire room.
There were dozens, if not hundreds of workers hustling everywhere.
“Well Mrs. Little Survivor, you’re in our turf of course.” A voice next to me said.
There was a fourth person here!?
“W-what do you mean?”
“Did you hit your head too hard or something? It means we took you to our HQ.” Zoey added.
“Surprise!” Jun shouted.