Ah, the kitchen was becoming her second favorite place on board the Starship Eschaton. Second to the engine room, of course. That place felt like home.
The chefs were nowhere to be seen given that it was night hours for most of the ship's crew. the lights were off inside the kitchen, so it would be difficult for most Yumens to see. But not Arachna.
She lowered herself down on an invisible strand of thread into the kitchen. Where did they keep the pies? With her hands, she opened the oversized refrigerator and began picking up cold trays of food.
The first was a large rectangular container filled with wheaty yellow strands mixed with red sauce and balls of meat. The words spaghetti and meatballs flashed through her mind. Yuck! Not for her. Picking up the tray, she tossed it over her back, and it splattered on the floor.
She quickly examined trays of fruits, puddings, loaves of bread, and even cakes. While some of these smelled delicious, they weren't pies. She tossed them on the ground, so she could get a better view of the contents near the rear.
Suddenly, there they were. Hidden in the back corner of the enormous fridge—a stack of five boxes filled with pies.
Ah, yes.
Pies.
Arachna resisted the urge to consume them on the spot. These would be reserved for Beaky. Carefully pulling out the boxes of encrusted deliciousness, she opened them up. The pies were filled mainly with various types of Yumen fruits—blueberries, apples, and strawberries. Her memories from Engineer Carlsen matched words against each one.
She searched the room for metal utensils like the ones she'd seen the chefs using before. With her hands, she used a knife to slice the top off each pie and then used a spoon to remove a portion of the fruit. Horde, culinary production was so much easier now that she had hands.
Now for the Xitherium.
Arachna opened her half-consumed container of liquid Xitherium she had retrieved from the engine room and poured it into each of the five pies. It was just enough.
Then she moved over to the insta-bake devices. How had the Yumens done this before? There were all sorts of buttons on the thing.
"Hullo?" a voice said from the door. A beam of light flashed. "Is someone there? It's past curfew. Maybe you weren't aware of the new curfew? For your own safety. Multiple Krath on the loose, you know. Hullo?"
Uh oh. Better hurry.
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
She stuffed the pies into five separate devices and pressed a handful of buttons, not entirely sure what she was doing.
"Something smells good," the voice said. It was followed by the clanking of heavy marine boots on the kitchen floor. "But I'm going to have to ask you to return to your quarters.
The insta-bake machines glowed orange as they radiated heat into the pies within. Arachna desperately hoped they'd turn out okay. But what to do about the Yumen?
"Tell you what," the Yumen said, removing his helmet. "You give me a slice of that deliciousness you're cooking there and maybe I won't tell nobody."
He licked his lips.
Give him her pies? Not in the Xither itself. Arachna was indignant. Who did this Yumen think he was?
The flashlight shone directly on her at the same moment she activated her stealth cloak. She scampered toward the Yumen. It had been a mistake to remove his helmet.
"Weird," the marine said. "Could have sworn I saw someone here. Is anyone here?"
Arachna crawled silently toward the Yumen soldier.
Beep, beep
One of the insta-bake machines started to signal that the pies were done. The marine walked toward the noise. His hulking mass was too big for the kitchen. He bumped into a tray filled with metal utensils, which scattered onto the floor.
"Pies," he said. "Well, maybe they won't mind if I try them out."
The marine opened the door to the insta-bake machine.
"Strange smell," he said, aloud. "Is that engine fuel? Xitherium?"
The marine removed one of his outsized gauntlets, reached out, and dabbed a finger into the pie. Then he put his finger in his mouth.
"What the void?" he said to himself, spitting out the food. "It is Xitherium. I'm going to have to call this one in."
The marine tapped a comms device near his right ear and spoke loudly. "Hello, sarge?" the man said. "We've got a situation here in the kitchen. I think I've got proof that Big Cheffy Rupert is innocent."
There was silence.
"Whoever poisoned the captain's party is still at work. There are pies filled with...Xitherium. Couldn't have been Big Cheffy since he's still in the brig."
The Yumen walked around the room while he spoke on his comms device.
"Yep," he said, his voice excited. "Best news we've gotten all week. Maybe we'll get back Taco Tuesdays when they let Big Cheffy out."
Squish, squish. The marine stepped on a meatball, the meat spreading out across the bottom of his boot.
"Void, it looks like someone made a mess in here. There's food all over the place. Better tell the kitchen staff."
He was silent.
"You want me to clean it up?" he said, eyebrows raising. "I'm a marine, sir."
More silence.
"Void union rules," he said. "Kitchen crew has to work like anyone else. They can work off hours if we can."
The marine sighed, picking up a mop.
"Fine, fine," he said. "I'll clean it up. Comms out."
The Yumen got to work mopping up the food splayed across the kitchen floor. The food Arachna had thrown out of the refrigerator while searching for the pies.
How was she supposed to remove the pies from the kitchen with this marine here? She could wait until he was gone, but he was such easy prey. The Yumen didn't even bother to put his helmet back on.
Suddenly, she had an idea as she dangled in mid-air directly above the man's head, peering down at him. The marine hummed a tune as he worked.
This Yumen would serve a very important purpose in her prepared pies. Something she'd learned from this Big Cheffy Rupert. Every pie needed a little extra something to make it special, to give it that special touch.
Toppings.
She dropped from her web, sinking her venomous teeth into the Yumen's neck.
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