Gull was hurting, her left side had been torn open by a wolf in the arena and the anaesthetic she’d put on it was doing nothing to ease the pain. Maybe wolf spit stopped anaesthetic from working. Maybe the wound was infected. It was hard to tell and Gull didn’t know who to go about asking. It wasn’t the first time she’d felt like this though and it wouldn’t be the last. Life in the arena was like that.

She opened her eyes, grimacing against the pain and looked around the dark cell she lived in. It was a cage built into the rock below the ground. A dismal dank place raw with the stench of unwashed humanity. But it was home. It had been her home for a long time now. She couldn’t remember the number of days, or weeks, or years. She’d lost track of those a long time ago. But she remembered the names. All those names of women she’d fought in the arena, all those names of women who had died. She could have counted them. Used that as some basis for how long she’d been here. But she never did. She didn’t want to know the number. She didn’t want to know much of anything anymore. Except how to kill, and except how to live. Which right now involved learning how to make some better anaesthetic.

She had a lot of herbs and poultices that she’d collected from what they gave her when she won and her usual technique was to try mixing the strongest ones together until they worked. It took a long time before they worked.

She was grinding more herbs with her mortar and pestle when a woman walked up to her cage. Gull stopped and looked up at her with wide eyes, she had never seen a woman outside the cages before, it was very strange. And stranger still was the woman herself. She was not a gladiatrix, or a slave like the women Gull was used to. She was skinny and lithe and walked with a spring in her step that set her long curls bouncing. Atop her curls sat a crumpled baggy hat that matched the rest of her crumpled baggy clothes. In one hand she carried an enormous long staff that split into two prongs at the end, and in the other she carried a flower.

She looked down at Gull with a lopsided expression. Her floppy hat made her look something like a confused rabbit. Gull had no patience for confused rabbits.

“Hello,” the woman said.

Gull looked at her and stood up, casting the mortar, pestle and herbs aside. Gull wasn’t tall but she was taller and stronger than this scrawny woman. She looked down at her and narrowed her eyes. With her many scars and muscular frame she knew she must look intimidating. The woman was not intimidated.

“I came to bring you this,” she said holding out the flower. She held it out through the bars of the cage, putting her scrawny hand in easy reach of Gull’s strong arms. She looked at the hand, she could break it, snap it, mangle it beyond recognition. Or she could pull the woman to the bars and strangle her to death before she could do anything. But she knew not to attack the men outside the world of bars and cages and she had to assume this woman was the same.

“I do not want your flower,” she replied. Looking deep into the woman’s eyes. Still, she was not intimidated.

“Why not? It is a very pretty flower. It could liven the place up for a while.”

“I do not want to liven the place up.”

The woman nodded wisely, now she looked like a rabbit who thought far too much of itself. She withdrew her hand. “Good thinking, wouldn’t want to be reminded too much of the outside world.”

“I do not care about the outside world.”

The woman smiled mischievously, although with her floppy hat and clothes she wasn’t very good at looking mischievous. “But the outside world has so many cool things, like flowers, and trees, and functional anaesthetics.”

Gull froze, although she hadn’t been moving so it was hard to tell. “What do you know about anaesthetics?”

“I know how to make them, all sorts of different ones, ones that work, ones that don’t work, ones that can’t be used too often or a resistance is built up.”

Gull looked down at her herbs. They did only seem to work for a little while before she needed to get new ones of a different type.

The woman’s smile grew even more mischievous. “Yes I don’t think anything you’ve got there is going to help you much unless you use such a high dose that you get sick. I think you want something much less dangerous, something much friendlier.” She held out the flower again. “Something like etherpetal.”

Gull had never heard of etherpetal. She reached out and took the flower. The woman’s skinny hand looked so small and fragile next to hers. She wasn’t used to small and fragile things. She looked at the flower.

“How do I know I can trust you?”

“You don’t, you can’t, and you shouldn’t, I lied, that’s not etherflower it’s just a daisy. It won’t do anything at all, just like all your herbs.”

Gull narrowed her eyes again and crushed the daisy in her palm, letting it fall to the floor. “Then why did you give it to me?”

“Because I wanted to give it to you. I can try bring etherflower next time but it’s not easy to get and-”

“Next time?”

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll be back. You don’t get much company around here so you’ll want someone to talk to. I can try come tomorrow but I doubt that means much to you. I’ll be here before your next fight if that’s easier to track.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

The woman smiled again. “Well then what do you want?”

“Well-”

The woman spun around, her long staff swinging with her. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll be back, don’t worry about me. The names Maeggy by the way, Mad Maeggy. Don’t worry, I already know your name. Goodbye.” She bounced off, her curls bouncing beneath her hat.

Gull looked at the stain from the daisy on her palm. She growled and wiped it onto her tattered clothes before returning to her mortar and pestle.

Gull didn’t count days or sleeps or anything and it seemed she’d had barely any before the annoying woman returned. This time she had a different flower, it was pink and had petals that curved out strange shapes.

“Is it etherpetal?” she asked, not bothering to stand up from where she was lying.

“No,” the woman said sadly. “It’s an orchid, it’s very pretty. I think it would look good, here.” She tucked it into a corner of the cage, it’s petals splaying out to the world.

“I don’t want it,” Gull said.

“I thought you didn’t care,” the woman said.

Gull thought about it. Then she shrugged, she didn’t care.

“Good, I’ll try to find etherpetal next time. I think I’ve figured out where to look, they say it grows by the river.”

Gull grunted and turned away.

“Anyway I see you’ve stopped trying to make anaesthetic, probably a good thing, you might hurt yourself.”

“I made it,” she growled, turning back around.

“Did it work?” Maeggy smiled.

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“Yes,” Gull lied. Her side was still in agonising pain but she didn’t need Maeggy to know that.

“Excellent,” Maeggy beamed. “I won’t need to get the etherpetal then. That will save time, I can bring a pansy instead, they’re much prettier, or a rose, without thorns of course the guards probably wouldn’t let me give you a rose with thorns.”

Gull frowned, this had never happened before. She had always been independent, lying and dismissing others had never turned out badly.

“Well I best be off. Flowers to collect, you understand. Nice talking to you, goodbye.” Maeggy spun around.

“Wait,” Gull said, angry with herself. “I lied, the anaesthetic didn’t work.”

Maeggy’s mischievous smile returned. “Ah that wasn’t very nice of you. Here I am only trying to help and you go and lie to me. Don’t worry, I’ll bring you some etherpetal, I feel very confident it’ll be down by the river. But I really must be off. Bye.” She hopped away.

Gull watched her go and cursed. She felt so furious Maeggy had managed to trick her like that, and it hadn’t even been that clever, she’d gone and made a fool of herself. She hadn’t had a conversation as long as that since she’d gotten here, she wasn’t practised at it, that was it. If she could just meet Maeggy in the arena she’d show her what she could do. There she didn’t make a fool of herself.

She spent a long time thinking about crushing the small skinny woman in the arena. Knocking off that ridiculous floppy hat and watching the mischievous expression be replaced by one of fear. She’d seen many different moves in the arena and she entertained herself with the thought of trying all of them out on Maeggy. It had been a long time since she’d had something so interesting to think about.

But pain tends to dislike being replaced with something else. It demands attention and when thoughts wander for too long they always must come back to pain. So no matter how much Gull thought about crushing Maeggy she couldn’t help but dream about the etherpetal. About how it would end her pain and let her relax in her cage in peace. So despite another potential humiliating conversation she found herself desperate for Maeggy to return. To bring her a proper cure for all her injuries rather than the feeble anaesthetics she scraped together herself. She hoped she wasn’t lying again.

Eventually Maeggy returned as she said she would. This time her curly hair was all frazzled and her face and clothes were splotchy with dirt and grime. Gull felt she fitted in better that way.

“I have brought,” Maeggy said when she arrived. “Etherpetal!” She brandished a flower triumphantly. As flowers go it was even less impressive than the daisy, barely noticeable next to the orchid which was still sitting in the corner with its colourful petals. The etherpetal was grey and droopy and looked like it was already wilting.

Gull grunted and tried to look nonchalant, but inside she was ecstatic for an escape from the pain. Maeggy handed over the flower and told her how to prepare it. While she did Maeggy produced another flower, this one much prettier than the etherpetal.

“It took me a long time to find it so I gathered up some other prettier flowers too. This one’s called wolfsglovebanesky.”

Gull raised an eyebrow at that while she was grinding the etherpetal with the mortar and pestle. “Really?”

Maeggy giggled. “No but it’s actual name is very boring.” She produced another flower, her baggy clothes seemed to give her lots of space to hide flowers. “This one is a rose with no thorns as previously promised.” She tucked the two flowers next to the orchid, then produced another one. “And this one is a tulip. Where I come from it is said that tulips are the flowers of freedom. I thought you might want a little freedom here in your cage.”

Gull froze. This time she was actually moving so it was noticeable. Her mind raced, freedom, she didn’t want freedom, she’d never wanted freedom. A name flashed through her head, Hathra. Hathra and the whimper she’d made as she’d died. Gull never forgot a name but sometimes she wished she could forget that one, along with the battle that went with it.

“I don’t want freedom,” she said and continued grinding the etherpetal, holding the pestle probably harder than she needed to.

“Oh I know,” Maeggy said, standing up from tucking the flowers away. “You don’t care about the outside world. Shame really, it’s quite a nice place. Lots of flowers.”

“I don’t want your stupid flowers!” Gull shouted and tossed an old herb at her, it bounced harmlessly off the bars of the cage.

“You wanted the etherpetal,” Maeggy said, cocking her head curiously.

“I-,” Gull was tempted to throw the etherpetal too, in her rage the wound didn’t hurt so much. But she didn’t, she knew too well the value of a good painkiller. “Etherpetal is useful. It can cure pain.” She finished grinding it and began to spread it on the wound like she’d been told.

Maeggy wasn’t smiling anymore, she was just standing there looking down at Gull. “Every flower can cure pain. The foxglove can kill and stop all pain that way. The rose can be given to a lost love to get them back. The tulip, well that can maybe stop you being so angry at yourself all the time.”

“I’m not angry at myself!” Gull shouted, then realised shouting that might not have been the best way to convey it. “I’m angry at you with your stupid smile and your stupid hat and your stupid flowers.” She finished rubbing the etherpetal on the wound and walked over to the flowers.

“But you don’t care about the flowers,” Maeggy said sadly.

Gull stopped. No, that was right, she didn’t care about the flowers, they were just pieces of the outside world and the outside world meant nothing to her.

“I’ll come watch your next fight,” Maeggy said. “If you truly don’t care you won’t look for me. But I think you will.” She turned and walked away, her curls bouncing under her hat.

Gull collapsed against the wall and stared at the flowers. A glorious numbing feeling slowly spreading from her side, taking away the pain. What did she care about the flowers, they meant nothing to her. They had to mean nothing. Otherwise...

Ten minutes later she destroyed the flowers, all of them. The orchid, the made up one, the rose, and then the tulip. She hurled that one out of the cage.

Then ten minutes later she wished she hadn’t. She missed the flowers, they were a reminder. A reminder of something she didn’t want to be reminded of. She thought about the flowers for a long time.

Gull strode out into the arena and heard the cheers. She was their favourite, she was always cheered. She looked at the ground for a while, ignoring their cheers, ignoring the heat from the torches and the crowds. Ignoring the growls and snapping of animals in cages somewhere. But eventually she looked up. She’d wondered briefly how she was going to spot Maeggy but she didn’t wonder long. Above the crowds of jeering and cheering men stuck a two pronged staff and perched atop it was Maeggy with her floppy hat and bouncy curls. She looked down at Gull and smiled her mischievous smile.

The arena’s security had tightened since the panther incident. The walls now had spikes at the top, pointing down, making them almost impossible to climb and there were now guards standing around the outside. They wore no armour since it was too hot in the arena for that but they had wicked swords and they were men. Gull knew that no matter how many women she beat in the arena there would always be men stronger than her. And these men had swords.

Gull looked at the guards. Usually they looked down at her imperiously. Stoic and superior in their duties, regarding her as no more than a slave they might have to kill. This time though they didn’t look down at her at all. Instead they all just stared ahead with glassy eyes. There were many drugs that circled around the cages of the arena and Gull had seen drugged women before. She knew what they looked like. Maeggy had drugged these guards then, maybe she had underestimated her after all.

She looked back at Maeggy as the gate for her opponent started to open and she saw Maeggy leap. She realised she had judged Maeggy by the wrong standards, she wasn’t big and powerful, she was small and lithe and leaping from her staff showed just how lithe she was. Gull still liked her chances but meeting someone so fast and graceful in the arena was never fun. She didn’t mind anymore though, she didn’t hate her anymore.

Maeggy landed on top of the wall and flipped her staff over. It was a long staff, an impractically long staff but it seemed to work for her. It arched down and into the arena and leant against the wall, offering a bridge up. The men surrounding the arena shouted in alarm but Gull was already bounding up the staff before they could respond. Some of them shook the shoulders of the guards who just mumbled incoherently. Others saw Gull coming and ran.

She crested the wall and all the memories came rushing back. Then the door opened as people ran and she felt the breeze on her face.

“Meet me in the tulip fields by the river,” Maeggy whispered. “Now run!” Then she was off, her baggy clothes bouncing away into the crowd. Gull ran after her but men got in her way. They weren’t guards though, they were just feeble men with knives or no weapons at all. She cast them aside, slammed their heads into walls, kicked them, punched them, bit them, and they got out of her way. She emerged into the outside and felt the cool air on her face. Not in all her years in the arena or the cage had she ever felt fresh air. Not in all her years had she ever seen the sky with the stars.

She ran through the town and no one stopped her. She found the river easily and the tulip fields as well. Even at night she could recognise their shape. The shape that had been etched into her mind and refused to come out the whole time she’d been stuck in the cage. She staggered into the tulip fields and collapsed to her knees, then to her side. She lay there among the tulips and cried into the beautiful night.

Maeggy found her not long after that and she was not alone. She hadn’t managed to get everyone out from the arena. It had been chaos and she’d lost some and been unable to find others. But she’d saved most of them, that would have to do for today.

She sent them off back to their families for those that had families. Those that didn’t she sent to work for friends she’d made elsewhere. You made a lot of friends in her line of work. A lot of enemies too.

Gull she kept with her. She felt she couldn’t trust anyone else with someone so pained and so dangerous. She didn’t tell Gull that though, she didn’t tell her anything. She just let her blindly follow her around. That was how Gull liked it. How she needed it. No explanations, no questions and answers. Just orders. That made Maeggy sad.