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Rayne left Nox in the dark to protect her sanity. Living through Xelan’s death in both their heads—their hearts—almost killed her. How could someone feel so much grief and remorse for a murder he committed while feeling so much exhilaration and righteousness during it? And in her grand plans for justice against the Tritans, how long before she put herself in the same position?

It was too much. She needed to see Xelan. To hear his encouragement and feel his kindness. Until she lost him again.

That, also, almost killed her.

Now, Rayne wanted to return to Nox. To complete the sharing of lived experiences. To witness the last scene contributing to their unspoken conflict. Everything else she understood. But…

Damn, she wanted to beat the hell out of him. Came close to doing it, too. As she stared down at him in tears on his knees, Rayne wanted to kill Nox all over again. But then she thought of how his entire life people stronger than him took out their rage and frustration on him. When he was weak. When he was strong. Did it amount to anything? Rayne already killed him for his crimes. What good would beating him serve?

His tears told her that their shared emotions were enough. He suffered for his sins in his afterlife. What further amends could she ask for?

They could progress to the next level of consciousness. No interactions; only share in his knowledge. But… when the dust settled, the sun set, and the night filled the sky—Rayne didn’t want to be alone. And in his wholehearted attempt at rehabilitation, Nox made for decent company.

She wasn’t prepared to touch on his presence in the father/daughter afterlife bubble. The sight of him cradling the swaddled infant probably swayed Rayne’s decision to return. For the last testimony.

The lights switched on in her conscience. Rayne entered through the center of the room. Not for the first time, seeing him stole her breath away. Only this time, it was because he hadn’t moved. Nox knelt where she left him near the screen with that horrible image on replay. He stared down at his hands in his lap like something covered them. When the younger version of him lit the Icarean firestick, the man before her turned away.

“Forgive. Me.”

So quiet, Rayne almost missed it. So quiet, it wasn’t meant for her. She interrupted a private conversation between Nox and his brother.

Closing her eyes, she prayed to Elden for the strength to get through this. Nox wanted to face the wrong in himself to evaluate the worth of his life. To measure his deeds, the good and the evil. In his six million years, the former King of Cinder committed plenty of both. The current King of Earth and Cinder acted as his moral guide. Not his savior. But joining him on this journey meant confronting the worst of it together.

Rayne was ready. She folded to her knees across from him and offered, “I don’t have to imagine the hell you’re inflicting on yourself. I can feel it.” Self-loathing, pain, and grief. “Before we find your place here, there’s one more trial for us.”

Her fallen enemy finally met her gaze. Even here, in this sacred space of her mind, blue blood stained his eyes. The black of them flickered like night in a mirror. She sensed his apprehension, but also his resolve.

Nox was ready. On his assenting nod, the scene on the screen changed. Li still burned in the sky, but from a different vantage. An observation platform in a blocky castle of black stone. Millions of Icari gathered. For the spectacle. For the conduit.

The Kings of Cinder in her mindscape refused to look. They locked eyes as the event played in their periphery. The first of her recalled negative emotions—anxiety—made Nox frown. The next one… they both broke down simultaneously as his younger self swallowed Xelan’s nacre. Unable to contain it, this version of him howled with her pain.

Rayne closed her eyes and let the tears roll down her cheeks. For one second. One moment to prepare herself for the rest. A moment she never allowed herself to process, to accept. Resolute, she opened her eyes and refused to close them again. Nox never gave in. Never looked away.

Her emotions from the time of the non-consensual act slammed into her in a specific order. Sorrow. Anxiety. Fear. Disgust. Resolve. Rage. Confusion. Desire. Self-loathing. Rage. Loss. Hurt. His emotions shocked her. Pride. Desire. Love. Confusion. Regret. Anxiety. Hope. Pride. His felt subdued compared to hers.

The two Kings were overwhelmed by the torrent in her. Until the wave of his shame overtook them both. Drowned them in his current remorse. In his love for her. In his understanding of his unworthiness. They never looked away. They both cried, rocked with the violence of their emotions.

Until they reached Rayne’s desire. Nox frowned at first, confused. Her horror and shame for enjoying even a fraction of it—for still wanting a man she once loved—broke him apart. “No. No. Don’t you dare blame yourself for this. It’s biology. Friction. Rayne, I went out of my way—”

“Oh, believe me, I figured out pretty quickly how thoroughly you studied my notebooks. You made sure I’d compare everyone that came after to you. Knowing they’d fall short. And now I get to ask you, how could you do that to me? You made me love you and then you made me want more of that from you.” Rayne spat out the words and pointed at the screen. To the exact moment she would never come back from. To her climax that he took so much pride in.

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Nox finally faced the image before looking back at her. Astonished, he cried, “Is that why the Rites? You considered yourself a traitor?”

At last, Rayne looked away.

When he fell silent, she sought his conscience. And found a whirlwind of hatred, disgust, and regret. All of it aimed at himself like the blast after a bomb. Shrapnel and glass. Inside his head, Nox tried to phrase the solution without implying obligation or malice. His usual go-to whenever he wanted to apologize, which she noticed was fairly often.

Eventually, he reasoned, “Let me go. Whatever benefits you gain from my being here cannot possibly outweigh the harm. I don’t deserve to be here. I’m no different—”

“You are not your father.” A different man entirely, but what of the monster in him? Selfishly, Rayne admitted, “And if I let you go, I’ll be alone. Would you ask that of me? Ask me to release you to erase your discomfort and leave me to face everything on my own?”

Nox winced. She knew it went deeper for him. He hated that he hurt her. But, in life, he never cut her any breaks. She gave him plenty until he reduced her to killing him. He owed her this.

Even kneeling, he towered over her. Searching those remorseful eyes, Rayne demanded answers, “You promised to take me when you invaded, Nox. Not take me apart and give the pieces away.”

With shame on his face, he still never looked away. In that deep baritone of his, Nox genuinely submitted, “If you need to kill me again, do it. I’d give my life to take your pain away. I deserve worse for causing it.”

Fresh tears scalded Rayne’s face. His became a mirror of hers. With pain and confusion strangling her, she squeezed out, “I want to know why.”

Nox’s succinct answer came in a rush as if he considered this many times, “I couldn’t separate you from Celindria. From all the terrible things that happened to me because of her. From all the things that she did to me. I saw all of that when I looked at you. Eight thousand years is a long time to plan your vengeance, Rayne. A long time to harbor a hatred that would never die. And there you were. A being of light. You were happy with your friends and your family. I couldn’t let that happen. Do you understand? Couldn’t tolerate that she would be happy while I still suffered, miserable and alone.”

The truth. Every word. Even his recollections of the moments flashed on the screen. The next scene was of him locking her in the Martyr Complex. The first time her eyes shone with Li—a broken, lonely star.

He looked upward and closed his eyes, as if warding off the memory. “I keep reliving the momentI knew you weren’t her. I tried to strip the disguiseand expose the monster beneath. The look in your eyes when I tried to take your goodness away… Pure resolve. You would never relinquish your light to me. I could hurt you physically, but you’d die before you’d let me ruin your kindness.”

Rayne swallowed hard against his regret in her heart.

Nox turned his gaze back to her with his eyes like mirrors. Atramentous. His grief reflected in her. “That’s when I knew you weren’t her. And that you would stop at nothing to kill me. Not for revenge. No. You are above that kind of pettiness. You’d kill me to stop me from hurting someone else the way I hurt you.”

The former King of Cinder stood and held out his hand. The current King stood gracefully without taking it. The sad smile he gave her coupled with his genuine emotions squeezed their hearts.

“Six million years I’ve lived, and if there’s one thing I’ll do for the rest of my existence, it’s to never stop regretting what I did to you. And you share in my mind. You can feel my soul. You know that I’m telling the truth. I regret looking into your kindness and seeing only hatred until I had to make you like me. I’ll regret it until I’m gone, until I’m dust, and long after.”

Rayne found it difficult to look at him with that much of his crushed heart open to her. She glanced down and hid her hope by pushing her hair behind her ears. After considering their situation, she wanted one thing clear. “Your regret does not obligate my forgiveness.”

“Absolutely not.”

At this, she wanted eye contact to get her point across. “And while I agree Celindria is a bitch, I wouldn’t wish what you did to me on anyone. Killing her is enough. It’s what her actions deserve. What you did was small and petty. The actions of a monster, not a man. She made you into her. I will not let you do the same to me.” That flame ignited once more, and she pounded a fist to her nacre.

Nox winced but took the truth she offered. “There’s no way to make it right. I know. But what can I do then? Why am I here?”

“You think this is Hell?”

On more than one occasion, Rayne sensed Nox’s confusion over this arrangement. The limbo frightened him. In his honesty, he confessed, “Eternity was too good for me. Here I relive my worst moments with your careful gaze always assessing me. To what end?”

With all the complicated matters between them more or less resolved, their current circumstance proved easier to explain. “You make a powerful ally, Nox, but you need to appreciate the shift in the balance between us. To say I saw something in you worth saving is inaccurate. But I did see a man who wanted to try. And… That counts for something.”

Hope glinted in those obsidian pools. In his thoughts, she detected a sense of pride and renewal. But he’d earn that redemption. She wouldn’t grant it to him so easily. Hell, she wouldn’t grant it at all. A second chance was between Nox and himself. But she held out hope.

“I told you before that I’d die before I’d forgive you. And even though I see—and I want you to know that I do see—a change in you, I won’t be your redeemer. If that’s the path you want to take, you’re on your own. I’ll give you the arena for it. Here. In my mind. But I won’t give you my hand. That said, this—” She waved a finger between them. “—Settles the business between us. Although I have every right, I’ll never throw your misdeeds in your face. My righteousness knows some boundaries, and it wants me to let you earn this. You can’t do that if I’m constantly reminding you of your sins. Can you do this? Can you stand with me knowing that you love someone who can’t forgive you?”

Nox, the former King of Cinder, went to one knee and placed his fist over his nacre. The vow required no words. And she felt his sincerity in his marrow.

Rayne beamed at him and watched that gallant exterior shift. Her expressions moved him too much. She couldn’t help but sense it. But with every effort he put forth not to show it, she couldn’t hold it against him.

With the last vestiges of their conflict settled, it was time to get to work. The storm was coming.

“On your feet, soldier.”