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Chapter 34: Bathroom Antics

Chapter 34

Ryker

With Red's proclamation made, she tossed the clock high into the air. Just as it reached its apex, it flashed and disappeared. We looked down to Red but couldn't find any trace of her. She apparently inherited her mother's flair for the dramatic and whisked off to wherever it is that A.I. go when they aren't casually torturing me for fun.

Amy and I shared a shrug and strolled into the dojo together. As we passed through the threshold of the building, we noticed that the smart suit responded to our entry by revealing our naked ankles and feet. I assumed it was more weird A.I. stuff based around respecting the dojo or whatever and tried to just ignore it. We made it to the residential hallway, and a morose feeling overtook me when I saw the passage was significantly shorter than the last time I had visited. All of the rooms that were set aside for the others that died in the awakening had simply disappeared like those they were supposed to house. Gone but never forgotten.

I parted ways with Amy as I made my way to the men's shower and found myself facing my first problem of the day. How in the world am I supposed to take off this suit to do my business in the bathroom? Ruby decided to make herself known and poked her head out from the side of my vision and answered my unasked question. “I see you're having technical difficulties. If you want to remove your suit or modify skin coverage, then you can simply visualize what you want the suit to do or you can ask me to do it for you.”

I gave Ruby's words a quick thought and asked, “Ruby, can you do it for me? I have a terrible imagination.” She gave me a smile that was sweet enough to make my old cavities hurt before answering. “Of course, of course, I can take care of that for you. No problem.”

I knew I had made a tactical mistake when I saw Ruby’s avatar assume its full size in front of me, and she reached out and trailed her fingers across my chest. The nanobots that made up the smart fabric responded to her phantom touch in such a way to simulate the sensation of her fingers' slight pressure on my bare skin perfectly. My breath caught in my throat as she pulled herself into a full-body embrace, and I immediately closed my eyes and imagined a belt as quickly as I could, mentally repeating “belt! belt! belt!” The next second the entirety of the suit rippled and then started pulling itself towards my belt. As the suit uncovered my nude skin, the artificial sensory input left with it, and I let loose a sigh of relief until I noticed Ruby was no longer pressed against me but was a few feet away staring downwards as the suit rapidly uncovered my skin beneath. Before my business was put on display for all to see, I turned around and heard a slap before I felt the sensation of being smacked on my rear, which elicited a manly squeal of pain.

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I whipped around cupping my privates and readying myself to scold Ruby for her antics when her avatar began dissipating into motes of light, and her ethereal voice could be heard dancing on the wind that had manifested itself in the closed bathroom. “Enjoy your shower, lover.” *echo, echo, echo*

Her form finished its transition to light and wafted away. I stood there completely naked, sporting a stylish black fabric belt and a bright red handprint on my rear. I shook my head and spoke out loud. “Ruby, your disappearing act doesn't work so well now that I know you literally live inside my head.” Then a tiny blue version of Ruby floated across the top of my vision holding one finger up to her lips, as she disappeared from view again. I gave up and walked into a waist-high wooden shower stall that would stop anyone from seeing my lower half but would allow a clear line of sight to everything else in the room. I adjusted the water temperature to as hot as I could stand then stood in the scalding water and just basked in the relaxing feeling of my muscles letting loose of the tension I had not noticed was building up throughout all the stress I had been through.

A few minutes into my steam, the old-looking clock that Red had earlier popped into existence next to me reading 03:59:57. Then its second hand made a loud click, click, click, before the hammer between the bells went ballistic and the ringing noise accosted me. I reached out, and after failing to find the mechanism that would turn off the evil device, I picked it up and threw it against the far wall, shattering it into a hundred pieces. As my clock stopped ringing, I heard 3 other clocks chiming distantly through the walls and heard the tell-tale crashing of…1…2…yup, all 3 of the clocks were destroyed by the others. At that time, a notification appeared in the corner of my vision, and I mentally clicked it.

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*NOTIFICATION*

Stand by for 0400 Wake up reveille

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As I finished reading the notification, a set of deafening bugles could be heard all around me blaring the American military wake-up reveille that was brisk and distinct to my ear. As the bugles finished their rendition, a 4-inch tall Red appeared in the air above me dressed head to toe in an Army-issued drill sergeant uniform that included boots, camo shirt, pants, and a large round brown smokey hat to top things off. She started to yell then looked down at my nude appearance and shrieked, “Dad no! My eyes! My eyes!” then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

After Red made her exit, I could hear three copies of her yelling at the rest of the humans. “Get up, you lazy maggot!” “This is not a vacation, private!” “You call that waking up, I call that a disgrace to my beloved core!” She kept this routine up for a full minute then went silent. Shortly after, two drowsy forms stumbled into the bathroom and froze after seeing me. It was Jeremiah and the ever-smiling mustachioed man. I raised one hand in greeting and saw the walking stash brighten and let out a cheerful greeting. “Good morning to you!”

Reflexively I donned my own smile and answered, “Good morning, I am glad to see you both alive and well. I didn't have a chance to introduce myself before; My name is Ryker.”