One two three, mom repeats as I do dance steps. I followed mom’s instructions to her perfectionist mind, I wish I didn’t look like a copy of her. It is like I’m not the one dancing and just copying someone else. I made a mistake and mom started yelling at me for just one mistake. I made a mistake, so I could see if mom would treat me like a normal mom would.

“Hazel you did a misstep, you know better!”. 

“Yes, mother I'll try harder”.

“Now start again and this time don't disappoint me”.

I started again and this time I didn't make any mistakes. I did it perfectly as mom wants me to do, she keeps a record of every flaw of me. I could be perfect, but no one is perfect and that is what I tell myself. Why am I thinking of this now? It isn't like my mom will change. When we were leaving I looked out the window like I'll see something new, everything didn't change on our route.

Well then we saw the neighbor girl, she was being escorted to her door. Mom tried to ignore it, but I kept watching her being taken by her parents. The girl had piercings in most places that I could see and some tattoos. All the things my mom would never let me do to myself, she says disgusting. I’m graduating soon, so I'm excited to be going to a college away from this town. 

I blushed when the girl looked my way noticing me staring and she winked at me before going into her apartment. I did the same and walked into my apartment next door. Mom was waiting for me to get in to scold me and I knew this for a fact. I at least put my stuff away first, so she wouldn't throw my bag around like a mad child. When I got into my room she followed me and boy was she fuming.

“Were you talking to that girl? You know my rules”. 

“No, I didn't talk to her”. 

“Then why did you take so long getting in, you should have been right behind me”.

“I was just looking and that’s it,” I shouted, mom, slapped me. I held my cheek in shock, she has never hit me before in my face.

“Oh god, oh no I'm so sorry, please forgive me”. 

“I forgive you, just leave me alone until dinner”.

She left my room and I locked my door after her departure. I layed on my bed and wished that mom wasn’t a perfectionist, I wonder what the neighbor girl’s life is like. Why do I think of these thoughts? Maybe because I'm tired of my mother’s rules. I’m gonna try things at college, I promise to myself. I heard something scraping the wall opposite the room near my window. 

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I was nervous, but boldly walked over to the window and opened the window. There was the neighbor girl, we have a long balcony so she is down on one knee below me. I looked at her and saw vibrant purple hair when she looked up. If I were honest I would say she looks like a rebel prince charming, but also not. We just looked at each other brown eyes looking at each other, she smirked like I was interesting. 

“Wanna join me? It's not that bad after the first”. 

I looked down to see a cigarette in between her fingers “um I don't know, I haven't tried them before”. 

“Oh, you are one of those people”. 

“What do you mean by that?” I felt interested. 

“You know, a nonsmoker and probably too much of a good girl”. 

I can’t believe a stranger is assuming things about me, so I frown at her to try to show I'm upset. She smiled mocking me for getting upset so easily, but somehow it seemed friendly. It is like joking with an old friend, I was never allowed to have friends. mom’s rules, so all I have are routines I follow and vitamins to keep me on track. The girl offered her cigarette, but I was hesitant to try it.

“doesn’t it taste bad?”.

“At first, but you get used to it” I put my hand out and she transferred it between my fingers. I took a small inhale but still burning in my throat. 

I choked on the exhale “dang that is horrible”. 

Mom knocks on my door and tries to open it with no luck of opening it. I gave the girl back her cigarette in a hurry and she scurried off to her window. I closed mine, but kind of loudly as I was shaking in fear of mom finding out what I did. Mom knocked on my door again and I unlocked it to her annoyed face bursting into my room. Then she simply walked past me and went straight to the window opening it up.

She was gone, the girl was never there anymore. It was as if she was never truly there, I touched my lips casual to the feel. As though I had a kiss on my lips, but pulled away from my hand before mom looked at me. Mom scowled at me as if as a devil, her mouth parted at me with lips as red as blood. I got ready for a slap upon my cheek, but a back slap didn't strike.

“What did you do, Hazel?”

“I wasn't doing anything, but standing-”

“Don't you dare lie to me, I know someone was here” then she comes closer. 

“Were you smoking? don’t lie to me”. 

My face went hot, so I knew I was blushing from the embarrassing scene. She slapped me and this time didn't apologize for hitting my face. I felt hot tears dripping down my cheeks as mom left my room, she locked my door from the other side. This was mom’s punishment, so I don’t get dinner tonight and am starving. So I listened to some music I downloaded and it was “Home” by machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors & Bebe Rexha.

I looked at my wall, the wall separating me and the girl next door. I saw a hole appearing, but it wasn’t exactly big. It was big enough to put a finger through, why is she making a hole? Is it to make contact?. I laughed quietly and I crawled over to the wall