Tommy stared blankly through the windshield as he drove, the weight of the shotgun heavy in his lap.

He kept replaying the robber’s head exploding. Kept seeing those lifeless eyes staring back.

He tried to push the images away, tried to understand why he’d pulled the trigger, but every time he grasped something resembling an explanation, the reasoning slipped from his grasp.

Micky leaned forward between the seats. “Hey man, you doing alright? That was intense back there.”

Tommy stared ahead, his jaw tight.

“Hey, Tommy. I think—”

“I’m fine, Micky.”

“We got your back, T,” Jimbo said. “You saved our asses back there. Who knows what they would’ve done if you hadn’t have acted.”

Tommy shook his head. “Don’t. Please. I just…I need some quiet right now. Zero’s in a bad way. We can’t get caught out again.”

Laila and Micky exchanged uneasy looks but settled back without another word.

After a few miles of tense silence, Laila reached over to rest a hand on Tommy’s arm. “That couldn’t have been easy for you. I know you were just trying to protect us.”

Tommy kept staring dead ahead. “I shouldn’t have done it. I didn’t need to do that.” His voice strained as his throat constricted. “What the hell is wrong with me, Lai?” He met her eyes for a brief moment. “That wasn’t me…”

“Nothing is wrong with you, Tommy. Anyone would snap in that situation.”

“Would you though?” Tommy glared at her. “If you had that shotgun, would you have blown his brains out?”

Laila looked down. “I don’t know. Probably not, if I’m being honest. But people handle fear differently. You reacted on instinct to eliminate the threat.”

Tommy slammed a fist against the wheel. “Well my instinct makes me no better than those bastards.”

“You can’t compare defending your friends to those pricks,” Micky said. “They shot Zero in cold blood. They probably would have killed us too.”

“So that makes it okay for me to execute a man when he’s tied up on the ground? Unable to fight back?”

The others fell silent.

Tommy dragged a hand down his face. “I murdered him. And I can never take that back.”

Laila placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “What happened doesn’t change who you are, Tommy. One mistake made in anger doesn’t define you.”

“Doesn’t it?” Tommy’s voice cracked. “What if it happens again? What if something’s broken inside me? I already killed once. Where does it end?”

“You listen to me.” Laila’s tone turned stern. “We’ve all got darkness in us, even you, Tommy. But at our core we’re still good people trying to do right. You’re not going to suddenly morph into a homicidal maniac.”

Tommy shook his head and let out a shaky breath.

Jimbo leaned forward. “Way I see it, you removed a dangerous threat. Permanently. Saved us having to look over our shoulders for that psycho.”

“I wasn’t thinking about protection. I wanted vengeance. Wanted him to suffer for threatening us.” He swallowed hard. “It changes you, taking a life.”

Laila squeezed his arm. “What’s done is done. But going forward, just remember we’re here for you. Remind you of the goodness still left in this world.”

Tommy managed a small nod.

“I shouldn’t have done it. He was tied up, no threat to us. But when I saw Zero bleeding on the ground, and then he said he’d find us…something in me just snapped. All I could think about was taking that bastard out.”

“Any of us would have done the same thing,” Micky said.

“But you didn’t. It was me. “

“Tommy, listen to me,” Laila said. “You’re not a bad person.”

“Maybe not before. But now? After crossing that line? I don’t know if I can come back from this.”

Jimbo sighed. “Dude, you need to go easy on yourself. You did what you had to.”

“Did I?” Tommy sniffed. “I executed him in cold blood What does that make me now?”

“It makes you human,” Laila said. “Flawed, like we all are. But still fundamentally good at your core. One act of violence doesn’t change that, no matter how much you’re hurting.”

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Tommy blinked back tears, gripping the wheel. “I wish I could believe that. I just keep seeing his face...the blood…” He trailed off with a choked sob.

“You’re going to get through this. We’ll help you, however we can. The Tommy I know is still in there.”

“I’m a hypocrite. A goddamn fraud.”

“You’re not.”

“No. I am. All those songs about peace, nonviolence, being better than the warring slobs in charge?” Tommy let out a hollow laugh. “What a joke. When it came down to it, I was no better. Just another angry killer seeking vengeance.”

Jimbo leaned between the seats. “Maybe you should change the lyrics then. Add a footnote about how brutally murdering someone is fine if they piss you off enough. Make sure to carve out that exemption for the zombie apocalypse.”

Micky shifted. “Hey man, come on, you know that’s not true. It was an intense situation, he wasn’t think—”

“Doesn’t matter,” Tommy cut him off. “Excuses don’t change what I did. I betrayed everything I supposedly stood for in one violent moment. Crossed a line I can never come back from. How can I sing against violence, knowing what I’m capable of? I’m no better than the warmongers. Just another hypocrite with blood on his hands.”

The others fell silent.

After a moment Laila met his eyes. “What happened doesn’t invalidate the ideals you believe in, Tommy. Your values still matter, your words still carry weight. Don’t let anger and guilt make you give up on who you are.”

“That path leads to the dark side,” Jimbo said.

Tommy shook his head bitterly and stared back at the road, fingers clenched around the steering wheel.

The miles of empty highway stretched on, offering no easy answers.

He pulled the van to the dusty shoulder and wrenched open the door.

“Tommy?” Laila called after him

He stumbled out into the gravel, chest heaving.

Tommy braced his hands on his knees and stared down at the cracked earth.

He had taken a life in cold blood. Become his own nightmare made flesh. He was a hypocrite, a fraud. How could he ever face his friends, his family, again?

What would he say to Niamh and Sean? He clenched his fists, breathing through flaring panic. He couldn’t lose them. But keeping this inside would poison their family, rot it from within. Either path spelled ruin.

Sobs wracked his body as he knelt in the dirt. He didn’t know how to come back from this abyss. Wasn’t sure he deserved to.

Laila wrapped her arms around him as his tears soaked the parched ground. He clung to her, overwhelmed by his roiling thoughts, the clash of guilt and grief.

How could he face them? How could he explain to Niamh what he’d done? She’d see through him, see through the hypocrisy to the killer inside.

His chest heaved again and vomit spewed from his mouth. His shoulders shook with sobs.

As Laila held him, trying to offer comfort, Roxy stepped out of her van, her brow furrowed, and put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Tommy? What happened?” Her voice was soft.

He shook his head, unable to speak.

Nix got out of his van and marched over. “What’s going on here? We don’t have time for breakdowns. Zero needs a doctor.”

Roxy shot him a glare. “Back off, Nix. Can’t you see Tommy’s hurting?”

Nix gestured back to his van. “We’re all hurting. But sitting around crying won’t help Zero or get us home. Tommy needs to suck it up and focus.”

Roxy glowered at him. “You insensitive jerk. Tommy just went through something traumatic. Show some damn compassion.”

Micky stepped between them. “Easy guys, this isn’t helping. Nix is right, we need to get Zero medical attention.” He turned to Tommy. “I know you’re in a dark place, man. But we need you, brother. Zero needs you. You can get through this, I know you can.”

Tommy took a shaky breath and wiped his eyes. “You’re right. We can’t lose anyone else.” He rocked to his feet and headed back towards the van.

Laila shook her head. “I’ll drive. You need to rest.”

Before Tommy could respond, Micky raised a hand. “She’s right, man. Let her take the wheel. Try to sleep if you can. Here...” He pulled a flask from his jacket. “Have some of this, it’ll take the edge off.”

Tommy pushed it away. “No. I need to stay sharp. Can’t let my judgement get clouded again.” He met Micky’s eyes. “I know you mean well. But that’s just a crutch. If I give in now, I may never come back.”

Micky nodded and squeezed his shoulder. “You’re right. I’m proud of you for staying strong. We’re going to get through this together.”

Laila slid behind the wheel and started the engine.

Tommy slumped into the passenger seat, his head resting against the window, the glass cool against his skin. He focused on steadying his breathing.

His spirit was battered and bruised, but he refused to let guilt and self-loathing defeat him. He had to cling to his humanity, summon the resilience to redeem himself somehow. The others were right - Zero needed him focused and steady.

As Laila drove on, images flashed through his mind on repeat. Blood spraying, lifeless eyes staring.

The shotgun nudged his thigh.

He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting another wave of nausea.

He had executed a helpless man in cold blood—taken a life in vengeance, betraying everything he stood for. The hypocrisy of it choked him.

A gentle hand on his wrist drew Tommy back. He turned to see Laila glancing at him.

“Stay with us, Tommy. Don’t spiral down into darkness.” Her voice was soft but firm.

Tommy simply nodded, not trusting his voice.

Laila gave his hand a squeeze before returning her eyes to the road.

From the back of the van, Micky spoke up. “We should reach Salt Lake City soon. There’s got to be doctors still holding out there, even now. Zero will pull through this, I just know it.”

“Damn straight,” Jimbo said. “We’re family. We’ll get through this.”

The radio crackled. “So, what’s the plan?” Nix asked.

Tommy took a deep breath and steadied himself as he picked up the walkie-talkie. “We get to Salt Lake City as fast as we can. Head downtown and search for any doctors still practicing or clinics still open. How’s he looking?”

“He’s lost a lot of blood, but he’s hanging in there.”

Laila gunned the engine as they sped along the highway. The mountains rose in the distance, ringing the valley that held Salt Lake City.

Tommy gazed out at the landscape, reminded of better times when he had hiked and camped in those peaks with his family.

As they drew nearer to the city, buildings came into view.

Tommy squinted against the glaring sun, trying to make out any signs of life.

Plumes of smoke rose from scattered fires burning unchecked, but otherwise the streets seemed free of the undead.

“Doesn’t seem like there’s much activity down there,” Laila said. “Let’s hope some medical services are still operating somewhere.”

“There’s got to be something left,” Tommy said, trying to sound more hopeful than he felt. “A major city like this can’t be completely dead. People have to be hiding out somewhere.”

Ahead of them, the glass and steel towers of downtown rose up, windows dark and empty.

They reached the outskirts and pulled off the freeway onto debris-strewn city streets,. the roads littered with trash and abandoned cars.

Many of the shops and restaurants had been looted, windows smashed in and contents ransacked. But the core skyscrapers and buildings still stood intact.

There had to be some survivors here, somewhere.