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Igor Proust sat in front of a hotel lobby, and from behind him layers of yellow light filtered through panels of glass. He wasn’t allowed in, not yet, the security guards were watching him quietly though they pretended not to. He didn’t care. The cold concrete he sat on was enough of a nuisance as it is, longer still he might have needed a toilet due to the cold seeping through his pants.
On his phone, he sent a text to the prostitute he had hired for the night: ‘So I just have to wait here?’. It was his first time, so he was curious on how the girl might treat him. He hoped she looked exactly the same as in her profile picture.
His message was read almost immediately. ‘Where? Send a picture’ came the reply.
Igor took a selfie, making sure his whereabouts were clear and his face visible on the camera. The backlight wasn't helping so he turned to face the lobby and took the picture, then sent it to her. He hoped his pictures were enough for her to spot him. He looked at the same time average yet out of place. His clothes looked like something a man would put on when he was alone at home. He wore boxers, albeit a knee length one, and his hair was messy. Despite his rumpled appearance, he had taken a bath and dressed in an effort not to offend the girl he was texting with..
There is no need to wait long for her to reply, obviously eager to receive his money . ‘Just making sure’ the first text stated ‘You have paid the trust bill right?’
His bubbling excitement slows down as he reads this. ‘What’s a trust bill?’ he asked.
The girl took a while to respond, but finally she typed and a message appears on his screen ‘I just need for you to pay here to this code AR45****32’ the message read. Then immediately after ‘Just use the LIFEMART convenience store nearby’
Igor blinked at this. He thinks that it made sense, there is no guarantee that he is not some bastard who’s going to rob her as she shows herself to him. ‘I understand’ So he stood up from the place he was sitting. The guards shot him a suspicious glance, he didn’t care though. Slander me in your mind all you want. He knew that everyone who was passing by judges him as someone down bad. But they’re right, so he didn’t care. All he wanted tonight was someone to embrace him.
He texted a reply. ‘Can I be sure I'm not being scammed?’ Tingles of doubt arise inside his mind. It could be that this woman was actually a man behind the screen, and also somewhere far away from here. He found her contact from a website to find cheap ones without moderation after all, and her profile picture is way too good for the price she charges. His doubts evolved into suspicions as he thought it through. ‘Send me a selfie’ he wrote.
The reply came instantly ‘Here you go, just pay the bill and i’ll pick you up’ the message reads.
It was a picture of a woman with fair skin and dark hair, her eyes are brown. It was positioned in a way that her head takes up ¾ of the screen. Behind her is a dark room. Possibly the hotel room. There is no guarantee that this picture was not something the person behind the screen had grabbed off the internet, it matches with the profile pic but he still felt suspicious.
That suspicion however is not heavier than the sunk cost he felt from the money he spent for the cab here. It’s pretty far from his house, and he had planned the budget for this, he had prepared his mental state and was looking forward to seeing her. He had paid off his debt, paid for his family’s essentials like electric bills and water, he had used up nearly all of his salary this month on things he cannot enjoy for himself. He was looking forward to this, curious for months, and after days of hesitation. Here he is, just a step before he could see her.
‘Alright’ he texted ‘Can I pay it in METROMART instead? That way I can withdraw my money first’ He had been planning on paying her digitally, but this turn of events made him change his mind. It would be convenient to have some money in hand.
Igor walks off towards METROMART across the street as he waits for the reply, not wanting to linger any longer as the object of many stares. ‘Ok. Wait’ the text replied.
As he walks Igor opens his e-banking app to configure the withdrawal, he enters the amount. All of his remaining savings. And confirmed the transaction. The code shows up and there is a timer down below, five minutes until expiration. Igor walks faster.
Sterile convenience store light shone through the full sized glass. Igor could see the lobby from here, only obstructed by the occasional row of pine trees that stood in the middle of the road as a divide. And the message finally came
‘Here’s the code’.
As Igor enters the convenience store he wonders whether the man on the counter who was busily sorting through the items below the counter was aware of his plan for tonight. And a thought enters his mind, what if the code reveals his intent, what if as the guy on the counter enters the code on the computer the title of the transaction shows up. ‘FULL SEX COURSE, 2 HOURS, CONDOM REQUIRED.’.
Unwittingly Igor holds his head in his hand.
“Welcome to the METROMART convenience store” The man behind the counter lamely greets.
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Igor decided to put off the inevitable for just a little longer and walked towards the cashier “I want to withdraw my money”
The cashier put on an off putting face, like Igor was robbing him. “I’m sorry sir we cannot offer refunds”
“I’m sorry” Igor bowed and quickly added “from my bank account” he cleared his throat “I want to make a withdrawal here’s the code”
The cashier then exclaimed his understanding with oohhs, and quickly typed into the computer the code Igor had given.
He stopped and said to Igor “Your phone number sir” and Igor gave him his phone number.
He stopped and said to Igor “How much do you want to withdraw?” and Igor gave him the amount.
They both waited for a while as the computer processed the transaction. There is much to be considered, how much would the bills he would need to pay and how much guilt Igor feels for using his hard earned money this way. It is the same as throwing away his money when he could have used it for his little brother. But Igor calculated again and again, it is fine, he thought, he had set aside the money for his little brother.
“Sorry sir” the cashier slumped his shoulder “Maybe you could try the METROMART across the street” he smiled defeated “This is not my shift and I don’t have access to this menu”
IIgor began to second-guess his decision as he stood outside the building. The money he had spent on the cab and the time he had wasted getting ready for this suddenly seemed like a waste. He had promised his friends that he would lose his virginity this year, but now he was questioning whether that peer pressure was leading him to a world of pain.
“Ah, It's fine then” Igor replied “Thank you”
As he walked away, the cold breeze of the night greeted him. Above, a half-moon hovered, reminding him of one of his friends who always teased him about being "half-assed" in his attempts to lose his virginity. He wondered why the moon reminded him of that friend, who spent many nights outside, moon-watching with longing. Perhaps in his friend's mind, there was a civilization on the moon, filled with life and activity.
One night, as they lounged around in the park, his friend had spoken to him about a city on the moon filled with ethereal beings and a stranded princess who was stranded on earth. His friend believed that the princess watched the moon and that he felt less lonely when he stared at the moon.
“Maybe this wasn’t worth it after all” Igor’s words floated with the cold polluted air of a night street. And he felt chill on his fingertips as he typed a follow up to the girl he rented. ‘Sorry, but I will have to call it off’ yet he hesitates sending it. His finger hovers over the send button, he thinks of the girl’s current situation. What is she doing now?
In his mind he imagines a girl sitting on a bed inside a dark room preparing herself. Breathing in and out, dissociating herself from the current situation she finds herself in, waiting anxiously for this stranger to come and take her, and finally earn some sort of cash to buy food or something trendy, Igor is not familiar with young people’s preferences.. Then he conjures another image of an experienced woman, boredly waiting, wasting her time when she could’ve used it to please a richer client. There is no end to his guilt, and he deleted his text.
Suddenly, a message popped up on his phone. "Hello? Is it done?" He stared at the text, "I'll come and pick you up, so be quick okay?" and then a picture of a hallway appeared.
Igor let out a sigh and replied, "Sorry, there is a problem with the store. Can you change the payment method so I can transfer it through e-banking?"
‘Ok.’
Igor waited. He sat on a roadside, underneath the yellow glow of a lamp pole at night. He considered how he was so impatient for the warm embrace the website promised him, how he rushed through bathing and preparing himself. How he told his friend that he’s going to do it. And how he told his landlord that he won’t be back tonight. And yet there is only wind that keeps him company, how the cold uneven gravel under him prickles his skin, how his hair distracts his sight and how his breath goes on a slow rhythm.
The reply finally appeared ‘Here’s the code’ it reads.
The message finally came through, "Here's the code," it read. Igor opened the app to pay for it, but then cancelled his withdrawal. He clicked the menu to pay to a virtual account and entered the code. One click and the amount appeared - it was the full bill and more. As he stared at the amount, the excitement he had felt earlier slowly dissipated. He couldn't shake off the feeling of unease about paying someone he had never met before such a large sum of money.
“For fuck sake!” Now, Igor thinks that the possibility of this being a scam has reached its zenith. No, maybe he knew all along and only denied it based on the money he had already wasted.
He quickly cancelled the transaction and opened up the chat once more. There was an unread message that read, "Hurry and pay, I'll pick you up right after." He placed the screen against his chest and looked up at the lamp post. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The logical thing to do would be to cancel everything and cut his losses, but there was a part of him that couldn't help but hope that she was real and that this was just a normal procedure. This was, after all, the first time Igor had hired a prostitute.
Though it pained him, and probably the girl, he asked for more proof. Instead, he was met with, "Come on, don't be like that. This is necessary to ensure my safety." Igor understood, she wanted to ensure that she wasn't taken advantage of.
He sat back and ruminated. Was he being paranoid?
‘Of course’ he said ‘But please understand that I cannot give money to someone who I haven’t met yet’ Igor felt himself conflicted ‘Atleast show yourself first, come down here and meet me or stand in the lobby where I can see you’
And there was no reply.
Igor stood under the glow of a midnight lamp. It is cold outside, and will be colder still. His house far from here, Igor had no intention of spending the night standing around outside. Nor was he planning on getting scammed. He wasn’t a well off man. Igor stared across the street at the warm light of the hotel lobby. This was an act of desperation, he couldn’t think of anything else other than hiring her. And if she turned out to be a scam he planned on hiring another girl. Though if he was to be honest he wasn’t too keen on the idea. That was because.
In the lobby stood a girl bathed in the warm glow of a hotel lobby, her glistening eyes gazing out at the dark wasteland outside through a thin glass panel. She held her hoodie tightly around her, revealing a thin white camisole underneath. She tried to hide her face from her surroundings, but Igor recognized her immediately. Her shapely face, round brown eyes, thin eyebrows, long lashes, and thin pink glistening lips were etched in his mind forever. It was as if fate had played a cruel joke on him - the face of the girl in the lobby was the same as his childhood friend who had passed away. She was the one he had hired.