Ponderosa closed her eyes as Mȧthair groomed her, but the stimulation didn’t quite warm her enough, so she pressed her head against Mȧthair’s chest then tried to snuggle closer for warmth. However, even that was short lived. Mȧthair finished her grooming and picked Ponderosa up by the scruff on her neck and carried her closer to the fire. Ponderosa shivered as Mȧthair set her on the blanket that rested close to the fire. Ponderosa then burrowed between the layers of the blanket to keep warm. She had come to realize that her coat was abnormally thin for the season shortly after she had transformed, but she had yet to figure out why.

‘I do not understand,’ Ponderosa said, breaking the silence. ‘Why do I have a summer coat and not a winter coat?’

‘What season was it when Sir Hamnet caught you?’

‘Summer.’

‘Because the trauma occurred in Summer, your transformation is stuck in summer. As you release the trauma, your fur will start to thicken.’

‘I still do not understand. If the situation with Sir Hamnet was my trigger, why did I not transform before now.’

‘Because you needed the resolution of that part of the trauma in order to get the event associated with it to come up. An event that became associated with Sir Hamnet though it likely happened before he caught you.’

She nodded. She closed her eyes as she continued to ponder why this form felt off. It should feel natural like the others, but it didn’t. Was it just her hunger? Was it the fatigue that was settling over her now that she had calmed after being able to chew on the Jet? Mȧthair offered nothing, but continued to remain close. Gailan came in with a bucket of fresh water and a few scraps and set them on the floor beside the table. He looked at the curtained off bed then at the bassinet where Nathaniel lay. He approached the bassinet and checked on Nathaniel.

“Gailan?” Prince Kelton asked as he and Sir Hamnet started to pass the room.

“Prince Kelton, I was just… seeing if there was more I could do to help since Ponderosa is….” He pointed to the bed.

“If either of them are in need of additional help, Mȧthair will come get one of us.”

Gailan nodded then stepped out of the room.

Only when they were alone again, did Mȧthair use her magic to mix up food for Ponderosa and Nathaniel. She added very specific herbs to Ponderosa’s and Nathaniel’s meals. Nathaniel started to fuss and Mȧthair changed his clothes before she filled a couple droppers with the meals for Ponderosa and Nathaniel. It took several tries to get Nathaniel to suck on the end of the dropper since it wasn’t the nipple he was used to. Ponderosa on the other hand, would eat a little then pause before she accepted more. She was confused that the meal did not burn with the alcohol she had used to extract the healing properties of the herb.

‘Did Mȧthair evaporate the alcohol?’ she wondered to herself.

‘Potentially making you and Nathaniel drunk every meal will not help either of you,’ Mȧthair replied to her unspoken question.

‘I guess not,’ Ponderosa replied.

Mȧthair then used the dropper to feed the two of them until they were sated. Ponderosa stretched out under the blanket to rest, while Nathaniel napped. Mȧthair left the two of them beside the fire long enough to snarf down the food that Gailan had brought her. When Mȧthair was finished, she lifted Nathaniel from the bassinet and lay him beside Ponderosa. Ponderosa snuggled up beside the young Prince before she drifted off.

Ponderosa woke up the following morning surrounded by blankets and sprawled out next to Mȧthair on the bed. Prince Kelton was back. He sat semi-reclined behind Mȧthair with Nathaniel in his arms.

“Are you feeling any less strange, Ponderosa?” Prince Kelton asked softly.

“No, Your Majesty,” she replied.

“Is the feeling because of the transformation?”

‘No. When Iredys and I were in my home, she pulled Dagaz and the Pearl from my flesh. Ever since then, all of my transformations have felt normal—felt correct—but something is off in this one and I have not yet been able to figure it out.’

“Have you asked Mȧthair about it?”

‘Not directly.’ She sniffed the smoky-colored Dinakal beside her.

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Mȧthair stirred. ‘Even if you were to ask me directly, I would not answer,’ she replied, as if she hadn’t just woken up. ‘Forcing the memories of that day to surface will only deepen the trauma instead of working to help you to release it.’

“Will the memories surface on their own?” Prince Kelton asked.

‘They will.’ Mȧthair ran her nose over Ponderosa’s head. ‘You are very in tune with yourself, Ponderosa. It will not take you long to remember what happened to make this transformation feel the way it does.’

‘...Sir Hamnet said he didn’t kill me because there was no life in my eyes.’

“He was going to kill you?” Prince Kelton asked.

Ponderosa nodded. ‘I was as you see me now, so he wouldn’t have known I was anything else. He caught me without much of a struggle, but just as he was about to pierce my chest with his dirk, he froze. He put his dirk away then gently put me back on the ground and hurried away.’

Prince Kelton nodded. “I wondered why he chose to stop hunting in Guasha Forest six years ago. It is likely because of that incident.”

‘Very much so,’ Mȧthair said.

Prince Kelton kissed her temple. “Is there anything more either of you need?” Prince Kelton asked.

‘No,’ Ponderosa replied as she snuggled closer to Mȧthair.

‘Not at the moment,’ Mȧthair replied. Then she turned to face him.

“I look forward to it,” Prince Kelton replied, to whatever she said. He kissed Mȧthair’s nose and received several tongue licks in return before he set Nathaniel down beside them and left the room.

Mȧthair gently nuzzled and licked Ponderosa’s head, ears, and body. She liked the feel of Mȧthair’s ministrations. They were very comforting, warming, and soothing. Ponderosa dozed off, but her dreams were far from pleasant.

She was filled with fear as she hid underneath some tree roots. An owl’s hoot broke the silence above her and she did her best to stay out of sight. To die an owl’s meal, because she was stuck as a rabbit for the next 16 hours until the moon waxed enough to release her, was not how she wanted to go. The hours until sunrise were torturous because she had to dig herself deeper under the tree each time the owl tried to get at her.

By the time morning came, she was grateful to get out and run around. She ate a little and got some water to drink before she was pounced on by another rabbit. She slipped out from under him and darted away, but he gave chase. He continued to chase her and nearly pinned her beneath him a few times, but she managed to get away. The chase was getting tiring, but she refused to be mated! He gave her a small break before he was at it again.

However, no matter what she did to try to get away this time, she felt her body freeze which allowed the male rabbit to pin her down. Ponderosa screamed at herself to move, to run, in order to stop this from happening, but her body refused to budge as the male rabbit had his way with her. Once, twice, three times before she felt her body respond to her attempts to move and she darted away.

Once she was alone again, Ponderosa shuddered, unaware that a different danger approached her. A bearded man came out of the bush and grabbed her by the scruff. She didn’t struggle when he lifted her off the ground. She didn’t care anymore, not after surviving a night of predators, just to have a mating forced upon her. She looked at the bearded man, who was poised to stab her with the gold and black handled dirk in his hand. But before she could feel relief that she would die, the man slowly set her back on the ground then hurried away.

Ponderosa didn’t know how much longer she would be forced to hold this form, but she tried to change anyway. Her joints and bones snapped and popped painfully, as she managed to become human again. Relieved, she hurried through the forest to where she kept a spare set of clothes so she could return home until the next new moon came.

When she woke again, she noticed that the warmth she was feeling came from beneath her more than to the side of her. Poking her nose out of the blanket, Ponderosa could tell that even the air smelled different. She brought her head out and looked around her. They were in an empty hollow that looked like it hadn’t been used for some time. A soft whimper caused her to turn to Nathaniel, whose stomach was starting to gurgle, before she finally turned her attention to Mȧthair.

‘Mȧthair?’ she asked, seeing her usually perky ears pulled back against her head.

Mȧthair turned her eyes toward Ponderosa. ‘I underestimated Queen Leona’s hate for magic,’ she replied. ‘She sent a small platoon soon after the servant arrived at the castle. The assassin soldiers were already entering the summer castle when Kenaz gave warning.’

‘...I’m glad you had enough time to get us out.’

Mȧthair let out a low growling yowl, but nodded.

She lay down close to Ponderosa and Nathaniel and nuzzled them from time to time until Nathaniel was ready to be changed and fed. Ponderosa hopped around the hollow for a couple minutes while Mȧthair changed Nathaniel’s clothes. Once he was warmly bundled again, she set him between her legs so he could hear her heartbeat while he ate. Ponderosa accepted what Mȧthair had made for her as well. As she ate, she noticed that Mȧthair’s eyes seemed to glaze over from time to time. It was possible that she was having a vision of something, but she didn’t want the potential break in concentration, caused by her asking, to send her into a fit. Ponderosa was pleased to see Nathaniel eat well, despite the fact that her breast milk was no longer available to him.

A mournful woof or mew escaped Mȧthair’s lips from time to time. Ponderosa dragged her cloth over to snuggle next to Mȧthair to try and provide comfort. She knew how hard it was to part from loved ones. Even harder when magic was the cause of such a separation.

‘I’m sure everything will work out okay, Mȧthair,’ Ponderosa thought to her.

‘I know it will, Ponderosa,’ she sighed. ‘I was just hoping to have more time.’

She nodded.

‘Thank you.’

‘You are welcome.’

Mȧthair nuzzled Ponderosa a little then used her magic to set her back on the warm stones before she cleaned their meal glasses.