Chapter 64-66 - Side story: Bella.

Those who came before, Part 1

It was rare that she could let loose without having to hold anything back or care about how others would see her. In the thick of the chaos, the guts and the entrails mixed with that ocean of blood, ichor and bodies of the departed, she’d felt free, unshackled. She felt alive, blood drunk like the reavers she so idealised.

It was a day she’d look back on with pride for the rest of her life. A day where she’d given everything she had to slaughter all those who stood classed as ‘enemies’. Sure, a day full of highs and lows, but it had been a glorious day for her. An entire army of monsters had stood before her, and now, an entire army stood under her. How could she not feel pride at such a sight? She never wanted this day to end. Something she’d thought her opponents had felt too as they had been relentless in their efforts to kill the young woman all through the night. And yet. Now. Those very same crazed enemies she’d felt such honour to fight with were scattering in the wind before her.

Before she had even taken notice, they had dispersed so far in every direction that she couldn’t consider pursuing. Sure, she could give chase, but there was no telling how many she would be able to hack down before getting herself into trouble. She liked to fight, but she was no fool. She knew that their retreat could be a rouse.

She looked upon the fleeing foes with disgust plainly worn on her face while freeing her blade from the last foe she would kill on this field of death.

“Pathetic. A fight is to the death you damned cowards” She mumbled. Her dejection only lasted a few seconds though as her gaze pushed out over the battlefield again. To face off against this horde and to come out completely unscathed? She couldn’t hold onto her anger for the fleeing foes. Such a sight filled her with pride and acknowledgement. What a feat!

‘So what if they fled, that’s on them, not me’ She thought while nodding to herself. Her previously hard expression finally lifted into a haunting smile.

Not even those old fabled heroes she’d read about as a child had accomplished anything even close to what she’d done here today. It was truly an exploit she could be proud of, even if it had ended anticlimactically.

“They’re fleeing it seems.”

The woman's companion stated the obvious while wiping the blood from his face with a rag.

“Boring cowards. I was starting to get into it” She replied to him, still wearing her blood-soaked smile.

“That bloodlust of yours is going to get you killed one of these days lass.”

She raised a brow at that. Not that it wasn’t expected or something she hadn’t heard him say a thousand times already. She was used to getting lectured by this man, but she had thought it would be different this time. After all, the man had been standing beside her the entire time with a grin from ear to ear as he cut down all those around him without mercy. He had roared and raged in no different a fashion than she had.

‘He’ll never change’ she thought to herself with an inward sigh.

The man she was tired at was Samuel Harvey. A name the woman was not meant to have known as the man liked to keep an air of mystery about himself. Though ‘Samuel’ had let slip some years back by mistake while the pair were drinking the night to oblivion. He’s not a man who can handle his alcohol as well as he thinks he can. A fact that made her chuckle from time to time, but the pair shared a somewhat long and complicated history. Long enough that she respected his desired distance as so-called professionalism well enough to pretend she had never heard his true name.

“Unlikely, Risk. Unlikely” She retorted.

“A level head is what you need. A level head” He tapped his head twice. “Outthink and out-match. You’ll live longer.”

“Sure Risk. Sure. Hey Katharine! You good?”

“I-I’m fine. Just trying to catch my breath… Has anyone seen Aburi?”

The woman grimaced at the young girl's words.

‘The fightings only just over and she’s already looking for her lover? Way to ruin a high’ she thought quietly to herself. She let that judgement lay inside her for a mere second before shrugging it off.

Aburi Draconis. A man who had given her this power of slaughter. A power to render an entire mountain free of orcs. A power that let her feel alive again after so many years. A power that, in her hubris, she thought would surely soon rival the gods themselves.

Sure the guy was a little eccentric, overly friendly and often more than a little creepy, but his strength was real. His power was truly raw and empowering that it was intoxicating to her. She could see and understand clearly why Katharine desired him as her mate. She understood, but it still annoyed her to watch the two of them act like idiots around each other.

Aburi had shown her glorious battles one after another. Battles she thought she’d die in time, and time again. Battles with such terrifying carnage that filled her with both fear and ecstasy in equal measure. Yet the very same man seemed completely incapable of taking a bitch in heat to the floor. It was deplorable to her to watch such a man act so pathetically… Especially since on some cardinal layer of her being, she was afraid of that same man.

“Check the tent. The crazy bastard is probably sleeping or some shit.”

“Bella.” Risk called the woman's name in a reprimanding tone while looking the tiny bloodthirsty warrior over with a stern look. “Try to remember he’s the client, yeah?”

She didn’t understand why Risk cared. She knew Aburi didn’t care how she spoke to or even about him. He’d made it clear many times that he preferred us to be ourselves around him. It was clear to her that Aburi only cared about strength and how useful those around him were to him alone. The man was a manipulator of strings. A silver-tongued elven devil who could make people do his bidding however he wanted. No different to the nobles she detested in that regard, but very different at the same time. The man wasn’t coveting power; after all, he had real power already and gave it to her freely.

Still, she had known Samuel far longer than she cared to think about and the man had stuck with her through dark times. She felt she owed him something for this, so she would bite her tongue once more and try to be as ‘proper’ and ‘profession’ as she could. She wouldn’t always manage it, but she’d try her best not to disappoint the man that she begrudging felt a debt was owed.

“Check the damn tent,” Bella said in response as Katharine nodded and walked but up the hill.

Risk sighed as he turned to follow stating solemnly “I guess that’s somewhat better.”

“Ah, wait! Master is sleeping!”

“The battles over, Emily. We need him up so we can get out of here--” Katharine stated while brushing past the young slave girl.

“Ah, yea, but. Ah, w-wait!”

“He’s not in here?” Katharine said while sounding alarmed and rushing back out. “Emily, where is he!?”

The female warrior couldn’t help but laugh to herself.

“Bella, this isn’t funny!”

But it was. This wasn’t the first time that idiot had gone off and done something like this. They should all be used to it by now.

“He went off by himself to kill the leader, didn’t he?” Katharine groaned.

‘That’s why they fled; That little shithead killed their leader!’ Bella realised, no longer laughing and grunting in annoyance.

“I... I dunno. Master said he was jus’ gonna take a nap--”

“Emily, seriously? You don’t expect me to believe he didn’t tell you what he was planning? He tells you everything--”

“No, he doesn’t!”

Bella raised a brow at that. The little slave girl was privy to far more than the rest of them. She already knew the pair had several secrets they were keeping from her and the rest of the group. It was improbable she hadn’t known what Aburi was doing, and even if the man hadn’t directly told her, the girl was like a puppy. No way she hadn’t noticed him leave. The bitch was hiding something.

“You’ve caught me” A voice called out. “Seems I didn’t get back in time to go unnoticed, huh?”

A silver-haired, dark-skinned elf stuck his head out from behind the tent with a dumbstruck expression. Oh, how she hated those clownish expressions of his.

‘How can someone so powerful always act the fool!?’ She grumbled while wearing a sour expression.

“Indeed”, Risk replied loudly with his hands firmly on his hips. “Thought this was my show?”

‘You should have known better’ Bella thought while struggling not to say it aloud.

“It was. I left all those to you, didn’t I? Boss pig was preventing me from using [Warp]... So I had no choice but go find him, or we wouldn’t have been able to leave” Aburi retorted while turning his palms over and shrugging.

“Ah, ha! I knew that speech was odd!”

“I kinda had a feeling you knew something was wrong… You understand why I kept it quiet, though, right?”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. But what would you have done if we needed you while you were gone?”

“Ah! Master told me to burn the wet grass--”

“Emily” Aburi sighed as he placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “You’ve just fallen for a trap.”

“You did know!” Katharine shouted, pointing sharply at Emily.

Bella couldn’t help but sigh. The whole performance made her cringe and long for the fighting to resume.

“Aburi” She called out in a commanding tone. “Get us out of here. I want a damn drink!”

“Shouldn’t we take the tent down first?” Emily asked sheepishly, and while avoiding her eye.

“Ugh. Fine! Just hurry it up!” She snapped back instantly before turning around to look out over the battlefield again, hoping the sight would calm her as it had before.

‘If I keep following this clown… Will I have more days like this?’ She thought in silent reflection.

“This was quite a feat for us, huh?” Aburi stated more than questioned with a dumb smirk.

“Feat?” Risk replied, wide-eyed. “In all my years as a fighter, I’ve never seen anything like this, nor even considered it possible that so few could face off against an entire army.”

Bella couldn’t help but smile at his words. She felt the same way, after all.

“Really? There’s a story where I’m from about a band of three-hundred warriors pulling off something similar.”

“Seriously?” Bella found herself asking with real interest.

“Seriously. It’s more of a tall tale though; no one knows the truth of it.”

Risk shook his head again while kicking the dirt under his feet. “No one can question this though can they?”

“I guess they can't,” Aburi replied with a shrug and wry smile.

“The kicker though”, Risk added while sighing oddly, “The thing that has me in utter disbelief is that not one of us has even a scratch on us.”

Bella had been thinking the same for a while. Sure she had expended all her energy many times over during the long hours of fighting, but those hellish potions could explain that feat. She still shuddered at the thought of them. No. No matter how many crowded up to fight against her, none had managed to land even a glancing blow on her. She’d only been able to think up one explanation for it.

“It’s Aburi's power, ain't it?” Bella grunted out while spilling out the water she’d just tried to drink from her waterskin. “It’s made us into elites among elites.”

“Aye, it has” Risk retorted quickly, “But that’s why we have to be careful. A power to make feats like this possible? It invites disaster; People will covet this.”

“I don’t plan on giving this power out without reason,” Aburi said while looking at Risk, arms laying heavily on their shoulders. “You’re my team, but you’re also my friends. Though don’t let that go to your heads as you’re also employees after all!”

Friend? Bella felt uncomfortable with that turn of phrase, but she didn’t understand why.

“Right, alright. Alright friend” She scoffed while pushing the elven annoyance from her shoulder. “You damn near finished over there! I want my ale!”

“Almost” The slave girl nodded while calling back.

‘From here, life will be dull again’ She thought to herself, dispirited as she watched the three women finish packing up the tent. Who only knew the next time she’d get to let loose like this again...

‘Ugh. I want a drink.’

…

The group eventually returned to Gillia after clearing up their camp. Despite the early hour, the townspeople were already out and about, rushing around and trying to start their morning routines.

Gillia was just a small town in the backend of nowhere, and as such, it had that small-town vibe to it. A rustic feeling. Outsiders clearly weren’t commonplace for these townfolk despite their town's location to the main road. They seemingly did have trade passing, though to a trickling degree.

It was a town for that small-time country life. Where everyone knew each other's business and outsiders weren’t to be trusted beyond a half-smile and firm-grasped handshake. Bella was all too familiar with town life like this.

The townspeople scurried around her group with heads downed only to look back to them with rubber necks from a distance. It wasn’t odd to her to feel their hot gaze. It wasn’t odd, but it did annoy her. She’d like nothing more than to cut one of them down to scatter the rest, but that would probably be frowned upon. Instead, she would grit her teeth and ignore them. For a while, anyway.

The group continued to walk. Bella only half-listened to Aburi and Emily argue about baths and sleeping arrangements as they slowly progressed through the town. Her focus instead drifted around the town and the morning backdrop.

These tranquil scenes of small-town life brought up uncomfortable memories for her. It was one of the many reasons she preferred city life. Her childhood hadn’t been all that bad, and she was fortunate in that sense. If it hadn’t been for her sister, she probably would have had fond memories of her childhood in a town just like this one...

Bella snapped herself out of retrospection, rubbing her temple and letting out a silent grumble. This wasn’t the time to open up the big old box of regrets and pains she had. That box was and shall, for as long as possible at least, remain buried deep within her. She had little interest in revisiting her childhood or the many other horrors that scarred her psyche. She took a breath and slowly let herself fall to the back of the group. She needed to calm herself down, and she knew just how to do it; deciding to play the wicked game she often liked to play. It never failed to calm her down.

It was a dark game. A game Bella knew in her heart that she shouldn’t be playing. A game that was sure to taint her soul a little further with each additional play, but she couldn’t help herself. Her surroundings' peaceful nature was setting her teeth on edge and without her vices... She needed this.

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Zoning the others of her group out further, Bella started her ‘game’. Looking first to a small child hiding behind its mother's rear leg as it watched their group stride through the town. She took the child and decapitated it with her giant sword, smiling wickedly and handing the child's head to its mother. In great detail, she imagined all the complex emotions the mother would feel whilst being handed her child's dripping head.

The horror would come first. The disbelief at what has happened. The denial as she held her child's bloodied head in her hands. Then would come the flashes of memories of all the time she had spent with it. Raising it. Blah blah. Then… Then the good stuff. The choice. Does she run to save herself? Or does she give up and wish for Bella to kill her too? The phantom screams of terror rang out in her ears, and it made her twinge.

Next, Bella looked towards the bakery. Such wonderful smells were emanating out of it that she couldn’t help but feel a momentary pang of hunger.

Inside the bakery, an old muscular man was kneading dough and dusting it with four beside a tall, well-used stone-brick oven. A tall elderly lady stood beside the oven, throwing hard looking wood into the bottom of the oven.

‘Baker and his wife making bread together.’ Bella mumbled to herself.

The baker's wife's eyes met Bellas for a moment. Bella didn’t know in earnest if the woman was indeed the baker’s wife, but that didn’t matter to the game. She imagined herself taking the baker's wife and putting her in the large oven. Not all at once, of course. That wouldn’t be all that fun and wasn’t the point of her little game. First, Bella would take an arm and place it in the oven. Then a leg. Then maybe a slice of cheek, or inner thigh? She found herself chuckle. Maybe feed the woman to her husband as she went?--

“This place looks nice.”

Bella was driven out from her dark fantasies as she walked into the back of Risk. The group had stopped randomly, and she hadn’t expected it. Annoyed, she angrily looked to Katharine and growled out “There’s no bar.” in an angry tone.

Katherine just nodded. Her face clearly showed wonder at what she had said this time to invoke such a sharp response. But she wasn’t new to Bella’s seemingly random mood swings and had grown accustomed on this journey, like everyone else, to just shrugging them off. After all, Risk had warned her and the rest of the group that they needed thick skin around Bella.

Thick skin was an understatement though. Katherine had often gotten sharp words bordering on abuse from Bella when Aburi and Risk weren’t in earshot. At first, she had struggled with it, felt hurt and angered by it. She was often enraged by Risk’s excuses for Bella’s actions. But as time went on and she observed Bella closely, she started to feel a connection with her. Something deeply traumatic had happened to Bella, and she was scarred by it, just like Katherine was by her own experiences. Katherine had decided from that moment that no matter what Bella said or how seriously she said it; She didn’t truly mean it.

“Okay. Then… We keep looking.” Katherine said with a nod and started the group off again on their dander through the streets of Gillia.

As they started off again, Bella’s eye was almost immediately drawn to a man wrapped in a burgundy cloak, tied with a golden pin. She had noted his hurried pace and heavy step which while was unusual, it wasn’t alarming.

Bella watched the man closely as he walked on the opposite side of the road to her. It wasn’t that the man was particularly handsome to her, few men were in truth. No. A nagging feeling in the back of her mind prevented her from ignoring him, but she couldn’t put her finger on why.

Usually, Bella wouldn’t have even looked in the man’s direction so as not to declare she had noticed him. The usual routine to be tracing him in her peripheral vision and from reflections on surfaces as she passed. But that wasn’t the case with this man. From the moment she noticed him, she had been suddenly unable to take her eyes off him.

The man didn’t seem to have even noticed her gaze and was clearly rushing for some reason… But it had nothing to do with her or her group.

Then why? Why was something stirring strongly inside her and screaming at her to watch that man?

The man disappeared down a back alley before she could question herself further--

“Thank you, little one. Here, for your trouble.”

Bella was thrown from deep thought again as she slammed once more into the back of Risk.

“That’s twice now. You alright?” Risk asked in slight concern.

“Fine. Mind your own damn business.”

“You aren’t acting ‘fine’. What is it?” He pressed her sharply for an answer.

Bella paused for a moment. She had been ready to fire a barrage back at him but noticed Aburi’s powerful gaze had fallen on her while he spoke softly with Katherine and Sybil.

“Ugh. I just need a damn drink, alright?”

Risk shook his head, sighing deeply at her. “That child is taking us to his mothers' tavern alright. You can drink as much as you want when we get there. Keep it together till then, will you?”

Bella practically growled back at him, but Risk just ignored her as they continued down the street.

It wasn’t more than a few minutes before the group finally reached the tavern. Still, for the entire walk, her mind had been unrelenting as she thought about that man, completely drowning out the other conversations going on around her.

“Bella… Bella” Aburi snapped two fingers in front of the small warrior's face, snapping her from her deep thought. “Do you want to take the first bath? I can wait with Risk--”

“Screw that. I’m getting a drink. Drinking in the bath is best.” She replied instantly, causing Aburi to smile in amusement as she turned her back to him and set off for the bar.

“You take the first one. We’ll get a round in”, Risk added before heading quickly after Bella. “Oi, you. Wait up.”

Aburi chuckled to himself and disappeared out of sight.

Bella wasted no time once she sat at the bar, reaching over it and pulling a bottle over from behind the counter.

“We’ll pay for it.” Risk quickly shouted, seeing the older woman's disapproving look who was mid-stride with a scowl in Bella’s direction. “Can we also get two ales?” He added before pulling up a seat beside Bella.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Risk asked in a neutral tone without looking at her.

Bella downed a quarter of the bottle she was holding quickly. “Nope.”

Her words annoyed Risk, though all he showed in response was a momentary twitch of his brow.

“But something is bothering you then.”

This caused Bella to grunt. The bastard wasn’t going to let this go now; she knew it. Once Risk started down this path, it won’t end until she threw him a bone.

“Nothing is bothering me…” she paused as the man in the alley flashed in her mind again. It was only a moment, but she saw that Risk noticed it. “I just have an off... ‘feeling’ alright? I’ll drink this, and it’ll pass.”

Risk nodded twice in response, still not looking at the young warrior. He instead chose to run his finger along the top of his mug of ale as if in thought. After sitting quietly long enough to take two gulps of the brown liquid, he spoke again.

“I’m… concerned about you.” He said quietly. This caused Bella to groan loudly. She knew she wasn’t going to like the rest of this conversation. “I’m not sure which is worse.” He continued, “How you were before taking this job, or how you are now.”

She shrugged with a chuckle. “I didn’t volunteer for this job. As I remember it--”

“Bella.” Risk finally turned to face her. “That bloodlust inside you. It’s growing dark and twisted. I can see it, and where you’re heading. It's even less healthy than shutting yourself away and drowning your sorrows.”

Bella’s brow furrowed and her blood boiled at those words. She hadn’t even wanted to take this job, and now he’s complaining that she’s enjoying it?!

“I need you to hear me, lass. You need to let go of the past. What happened wasn’t--”

Bella sharply slammed the bottle down and turned to Risk to give him a look of absolute anger. The sudden bloodlust that filled the air caused Risk to instantly shut his mouth tight and firm his gaze. It took all his willpower to stop himself listening to his instincts that were screaming for him to jump away and generate a blade.

After a few moments of extreme intensity caused by Bella’s bloodthirsty aura that had forced the barwoman to the floor, the tension disappeared as quickly as it had descended. Only then did Bella’s expression finally soften before she ultimately sighed loudly.

“Unless you want my blade inside you, Risk, just drop it.” She stated plainly in a matter-of-fact way as she put the bottle back behind the counter and nodded to the barwoman. The poor lady was drenched in sweat, but she got back on her feet quickly and disappeared.

Bella cursed herself. She knew that there was no point in getting angry with the Risk. She knew his words were out of concern. Though the fact he felt concerned for her in the first place did make her blood heat up a little again. She took a deep breath while shaking her head.

Risk grumbled a moment before opening his mouth to speak. She knew what his next words were going to be. She’d heard them more than a hundred times before. So she decided to jump in first.

“I don’t blame myself… Argh. One time, you hear me? One time and one time only.”

Risk looked at her, confused. In the many years he had known Bella, not once had she ever opened up to him about herself in any way. She was like an iron wall. Yet it seemed like she was finally going to open up. He quickly regained his composure and nodded once without speaking.

Bella, having noted her companions' momentary shocked expression, just shook her head.

“I don’t blame myself for what happened with… Gola. Not entirely. I… know shit just happens.” Her voice scratched in her throat, so she took a drink.

Risk, not wanting the conversation to end there, jumped on the silence. “If that’s the case, then why do you punish yourself, lass?”

Bella slammed her mug down and growled on a long breath, trying to decide if she wanted to answer or beat the man. She’d decided the latter but found words slipping from her mouth. “Because without her--” She shook her head furiously to stop her traitorous mouth and lifted her ale, heading for a table.

Why? Why did those words slip out? Bella had vowed never to speak about Gola ever again, and yet now she found her traitorous mouth trying to break that vow. Was it fatigue? It must be, she thought.

Risk let her leave. After staying seated and organising his own thoughts, he finally rose to step behind the bar, pouring two more rounds for Bella and himself. The barkeep had wisely retreated after all, how else was he going to grease the gears on this conversation. He knew Bella had moved away from him because she needed a moment to compose herself. That suited him just fine; he also needed a moment to collect his thoughts if he was going to try and talk with her without stepping on any landmines. Bella wasn’t the easiest person to converse with at the best of times, and this was certainly not going to end well for him if he said the wrong thing. Despite what Bella would try and have everyone believe, he knew better. She was a sensitive woman in matters of the heart.

Risk collected his poorly poured ales and sat opposite her. “Tell me about her” He stated plainly as he handed her one of the four mugs.

She took the drink but ignored his request.

Risk smiled. He had expected that, so he continued. “I’d never met her, but I had heard a lot about the two of you and that Hurrad guy--”

“Hugrad.” She found herself correcting Risk unintentionally in a low tone.

“Aye, that’s right. Sorry. The three of you hit some pretty big wins together as I remember it. Were the talk of the guild.”

“So?”

“So tell me about your team. They were important to you, but I know nothing about them--”

“Risk, just drop it. You’re starting--”

Risk didn’t even pause; changing his tactics. “One story and I’ll buy your drinks--”

“Aburi is buying our drinks.” She retorted quickly in a growl.

“Then I’ll give you this one. Save you getting up and apologising to the barkeep, doesn’t it?”

Bella growled again, rubbing her face firmly with one palm. Small flakes of crusted mud fell from her cheek and nose to rest at the bottom of her empty flagon. She really didn’t want to talk about her old comrades; normally she’d seriously have hit Risk for his refusal to just drop it. Yet for some reason, her mouth opened, and words fell from it.

“Fine. I’ll tell you about them. But once I have, you’ll finally drop this?”

Risk simply nodded.

“I mean it Risk; you never bring this up again?”

Risk nodded again. He wasn’t going to say anything in case the mere sound of his voice caused her to change her mind.

Bella firmed her expression for a moment before finally opening her mouth.

“Hugrad. They called him ‘The Deserts Healer’. Never knew why. Small guy, smaller than me, but the man had a temper that burnt hotter than a smith's fire. Guy would blow up at the smallest things, but he was easy to get along with and held his drink well. Wasn’t bad in the sack either--” She found herself chuckling and smiling at her own words, but tears were oddly forming in her eyes. “We shared a lot of what we had together.”

“Gola...” Bella found her voice waving at the mere mention of her name, yet the words continued to stream out. “Gola was a hunter. She’d not wanted to be a mercenary. Hated killing for anything but survival. But she’d been forced into mercenary life after that long winter had caused the forests to run out of game… She was… She.” Bella paused as a tear rolled down her face. “Risk, please. They’re all dead. Just drop this.”

Bella felt anger raging deep inside herself focused at Risk for forcing her to remember her old friends, yet strangely none of it was rising to the surface. Instead, deep sorrow and pain were threatening to bury her. She just felt dejected as her memories flashed to the forefront of her mind.

Risk looked his longest and closest friend in the eye with melted expression. He could feel her pain tight in his own chest as memories of those he himself had lost burnt bright. As little as Bella had shared, this was the most she had ever shared about her previous companions in the long time he had known her. Of course, he had known about their deaths from the talk around the guild, and he had done some of his own investigations after his first encounter with Bella not long after the incident. He wanted to rush over and hug her, but he knew better. She would definitely cut him in half should he even try. Instead, he took a deep, silent breath and nodded.

Perhaps whatever he had perceived growing inside her wasn’t as bad as he first thought. His friend was clearly finally recovering from her grievous wounds. The fact she had shared even this much with him was all the proof he needed that it was happening. And besides, he honestly didn’t know if his longtime friend's bloodthirsty nature was just her original personality fighting to finally get back out of despair. If it weren’t, he’d be there to stop her from ever going too far anyway.

Not seeing any clean way to keep the conversation going, Risk nodded for a second time and handed her another of the ale’s he was guarding. She’d earned it. It was at this point Emily and Sybil appeared clean and fresh.

“Take that ale and get washed up. I’ll take the next one, yeah?” Risk stated plainly with a smile.

Bella wasn’t sure what else to do or say. Without another word, she did as her friend told her and took her ale to the bath. She felt defeated. Her head was a flood with memories and feelings that threatened to drown her with sorrow. As she bathed, thoughts of her dead friends just wouldn’t leave her be.

Their deaths had been partly her fault, despite what she had told Risk. If she hadn’t been so keen to undertake the lord’s request and had instead chosen to listen to Gola, all three of them would still be alive and together. But no. Her ambition and pride refused to let her listen, and her friends paid the price for it. Sure, the cave-in wasn’t something she could have controlled, foreseen, or even prevented; but had they not gone in the first place? There was no doubt they’d all be alive right now, not just her, and that; that was her fault.

Eventually, she’d managed to force herself out of the bath to return to the tavern. How else was she going to get another drink? She’d returned to find everyone else had finished bathing and was sitting around the table she’d left Risk at. Everyone was drinking and being merry. She felt her heartache at the sight, but she said nothing. Quietly, she sat down and poured herself a drink. Nodding to others and forcing herself to crack a smile before quickly downing her mug.

No matter how many drinks she downed, Bella couldn’t escape her own head. Memories of her past continued to torment her. Of her friends and battles. Her brain forced her to see painful and cherished memories over and over. Memories that only felt searing hot inside her when twinned with the peaceful scene of her new companions drinking and being merry around her. She wanted to scream at them, tell them all to shut up and fuck off. To leave her alone to drink in cold silence… But she also didn’t want that. Her companions' jolly antics nourished a part of her. She wanted to drink, laugh, shout, sing and be joyful with the rest of them, but she couldn’t.

This. This was the reason she had vowed to never again speak of Hugrad and Gola. She knew. She knew how much pain was linked to her memories. Reliving them helped no one. They needed to be buried deep, and anyone telling her otherwise was full of shit. They were gone. She needed to bury them and forget them.

Bella felt like a war was raging inside her, a war that she didn’t understand or even know how to fight. She ached inside as she continued to fill herself with drink, trying to fill the hollowness she felt, all the while wishing for the sombre peace a stupor would bring.

“Woah! Pace yourself--” Risk said as Bella downed yet another mug.

“Fuck that. You’re only saying that cause you can’t keep up.” Bella replied tauntingly.

“You’re drinking like a fish. You’ll be out cold before midday at that pace--”

“Says you” She replied.

“Let her drink however she wants Risk. I’ve got the tab, and she’s earned it.” Aburi said while raising his mug to Bella.

“Yeah, let me drink how I want!” Bella half smiled and clanked mugs with Aburi. “I’ve earned it...” The words choked at her.

Risk frowned momentarily. Aburi would change his tune if he knew what he did, he thought silently before composing himself and dropping the subject, turning instead to face Sybil who was poking his side.

Bella watched the frown form and fade from Risk’s face. She knew why her friend was frowning, and part of her had hardened worried he might open his big mouth and force another conversation. She was thankful when he turned away.

Risk would turn out to be correct, however. Bella succumbed to her drink shortly after mid-afternoon and lay passed out at the table while the rest of her boisterous companions carried on their antics around her, paying no heed to the unconscious small female warrior. She wasn’t the only one passed out at the table anyway, so she wasn’t a concerning sight.

As Bella slept, face laying rough against the wooden table, she began to dream.

Dreaming wasn’t something Bella was fond of. In fact, it was one of the many reasons she drank the way she did. The drink normally prevented her from having unwelcomed dreams, yet now, her expectations were being betrayed as she was pulled forcefully into one.

Flashes of white and grey, coupled with faint inaudible voices before a vivid colour scape burst brightly into life. This wasn’t a dream; it was something worse. A memory--!

“You going to sleep all day?” Hugrad said angrily. “After all that nagging about how we have to take the job. How this will put us on the map! Yet, you bloody well oversleep and miss the damn meeting with the client!”

“W-what time is it?” Gola untangled herself from Bella while rubbing at her eye’s.

“Past fucking noon. The two of you are ridiculous.” Hugrad snorted, storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

“Ignore him. He’s pissed off you chose my bed last night instead of his.” Bella snarked while stretching and fighting a yawn.

“Why?” Bella screamed inside her own head. “Why? Why!?! Why am I reliving this again! I don’t need to see this!”

The memory ignored her and flashed forward before continuing. Bella could do naught but watch the scenes take place in a sequence she’d relived over a thousand times.

“The client wants us to ‘rescue’ his son from the Apalath range”, Hugrad stated plainly while Gola sat on his lap playing with his hair. Bella felt a pang of annoyance as she watched Gola, but she knew Gola was just quelling Hugrads stray emotions of jealousy.

“So we have to kidnap him?” Gola asked.

“Seems so. The client merely hinted that, though. Insisting it was a rescue.” Hugrad said before kissing Gola’s cheek.

“Do we know where in the range he’s--” Bella said.

“Draketooth cavern.” Hugrad interrupted Bella with a sharp tone. Bella and Gola shared a concerned look that Hugrad was quick to notice.

“Too bloody late for second thoughts! Might I remind you that I didn’t want to accept this damnable request in the first damn place! It was the pair of you that were so insistent!”

“It was me who was so insistent”, Bella screamed, “I forced Gola and had her convince you! It was all my idea. My… fault...”

The dream continued to ignore her, flashing events forwards at an even faster pace. Showing her scenes of fighting. Flashes of conversations and moments of intense feelings that burned at her soul.

“S-Stop this! I’m begging you, stop!” Bella pleaded, screaming at the top of her lungs. “Please!”

The dream suddenly paused, and a female voice called out.

“You’ve forgotten.”

A lump stuck in Bella’s throat. She knew this voice. Hesitantly, she opened her mouth to reply, but the voice returned first.

“You’ve forgotten something important, Cassy, my love.”

Bella tried to speak, but no words would come. She couldn’t respond, no matter how hard she tried. There was so much she wanted to say so much yet still no words would come. She screamed in frustration, but no sound rang out.

“I know, Cassy. I know it’s hard.” The voice began to fade “But remember. You need to remember.”

The voice was gone as her own voice finally screeched out in a bloodcurdling scream of intense pain, sorrow and anguish.

“GOLA! GOLA? Where... Please, please don’t go! Please… Pl.. please.”

But the voice didn’t return.