It is the 1300th cycle of the Mithadian calendar and while the whole of the Mithadal empire is in a festive mood for the 13 century anniversary since the founding of their empire, a man is reading a book on his desk diligently, the bags under his eyes serving as a testament to his exhaustion. His name is Ray Honorspire, the last surviving member of the ancient Honorspire lineage, in the past his family had produced a respected sorcerer but after her no one seemed to have any talent in the art. Unfortunately this stands true even for today or else maybe his relatives would have survived against the hordes of monsters.

"For the love of all that is holly, will cut it out already?"Asked Ray in Rage.

Cut what?

"Narrating everything I do!"

You know very well I can't do that.

"Why?What is so difficult about stopping!?"

Because I am you. You are having a dialog with yourself!!!

"*whaling* I really need to get out more....."

After ten years of living alone I started to lose a few screws.I don't even go outside, the only reason I'm still alive is that the empire gives out food to those whose relatives have perished in the war against the hordes. To be clear it is not like i don't want to go out (ok maybe that is part of the reason),but that I cant.

For some reason whenever I am outside i get the feeling that I'm watched, that my every move is documented and that the very ground beneath my feet is trying to probe into my soul. I feel perfectly safe in my house though, so I can at least be at peace.

I still can't understand were it all went so wrong.

At one moment I'm having a stroll with my parents and the next I see their heads being swallowed by a slime, thank God I ran as fast as I could back to the manor or else I would have been dead too. I ran and ran without looking back barely holding back my tears. It wasn’t untill I was in my house, safe and surrounded by walls that i managed to relax. I still remember the soldier that came to tell me that they found my parents’ melted bodies. Anyway let's not dwell in the past, right now I am reading a book on alchemy trying to find anything to help me feel the höd, emphasis on trying, but there is nothing the least bit affordable or at least producible without already having höd.

"Damn it!!!!!!!" I screamed as I punched the wall.

"You know what maybe some rest is all I need, yeah that's probably it" as I said that i started falling back.

Here we see our main character lying down with a white book on one hand and the other curled up in a bloody fist grunting in frustration.

"Yeah, What a main character I am, at least in stories they have a break once in a while. If I am truly like the people in the books then my writer is a sadistic jerk."

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Why am I even talking it isn't like anyone will hear me, I'm all alone, remember.

You know what , maybe I'm right. I need some rest…

Rise and Shine your highness time to wake up.

"WOW, my self loathing is on another level!"

As I look into the analog clock mounted on the wall I can clearly see that way too much time passed, I missed my daily session of procrastinating.

I stand up and can see that my blood has coagulated on my fist. At least that's good.Maybe things will get better…hopefully. Anyway I said I need to go outside more and this I will do. I haven't gone out in months. Afraid as I may be I still have my pride as a Honorspire, for what it's worth I manage to go outside at least six times a year. As you can Imagine I am the epitome of health right now.

"...."

"I need to get over my self hate"i said as I went out of the door.

The mansion is surrounded by wheat fields, the summer wind gave the wheat the impression of a wave of gold. Imagine if it was in fact gold. I wouldn't have sold the farmland then. I mean repairs are expensive and a chance at finally feeling even slither of the damned höd is captivating enough to try it, many times over. My ancestors at least have company everyday. I watch the grave yard that is my backyard everyday, I never have the courage to go inside but if I want to get rid of my self loathing I could at least try...As I walk past the door frame to the outside world I am faced with unbearable heat. Normally I would simply turn around and eat, read or maybe if I'm feeling adventurous have a nap but today I have a strange compulsion to go the graveyard. I must have a concussion or something but what is the harm in going outside.

A cool breeze gave me all the courage needed to go outside. The blue and crystal clear sky would make anyone feel optimistic. Strolling on the paveway to the backyard i breathed in and thought about what I could possibly do. I have 10 bronze coins as pension each month, from that i use 5 for food and the other 5 i put in a pot for rainy days, WHICH I HAVE A LOT, Normally I wouldn't complain so much in a single day but the government will only pay until I reach adulthood (21), from then on I'm on my own.

I'm sorry grandma ornia but it seems I will not be able to follow your footsteps....

...

Wait

...

i could sell all of my books to get a Mandragora Officinarum.

"But they are family heirlooms"

I will be an heirloom if I don't do something soon.

okay that's It I'm going through with it. Goodbye Books, hello höd.