Charomera

The 24th of Elaphebolion

The Year 4631 in the Era of Mortals

“This is good enough. Let’s stop here and get ready.”

They had been walking for hours and, though Arche felt good about their plan, they were all feeling the effects of too much time spent away from the light of the sun. Arche found it difficult not to point his spear at every shadow, imagining movement in the corners of his eyes. The rest were similarly jumpy. Even Lyssa, the most composed of all of them, was abnormally stiff and watchful, a change Arche would not have noticed had he not spent practically every day of the last five weeks with her.

Their rest stop was an hour’s walk from the first of the larger rooms, sequestered inside an unused side-tunnel that forked into dead ends. There was no escape if they were to be caught inside, but it was the least likely place for them to be found. Arche had initially been against camping in an area with no exit but had let himself be talked into the idea by the others, who weren’t so sure they would be able to outrun the beastmar regardless.

Being deep underground, they had no need for tents so each of them laid out their bedrolls, coordinated who would be on watch, and settled into preparing their food. Dinner consisted of dried rations they’d brought with them: nuts, roasted meat, various fruits and vegetables, and water to wash it all down. It was a simple meal and did little for their dampened spirits until Odelia produced a small flagon of wine. They could not risk a fire and, indeed, had no fuel to sustain one, so they ate and settled in the darkness. Abraxios promised to renew his Owl Vision spell on them before he went to sleep, telling the others to wake him if they needed the spell recast.

Lyssa offered to take the first watch, allowing the others to get some rest. Arche took up second watch, Tess took third, and Odelia took the last. Abraxios had claimed that tengu needed more sleep than other people and so was excused from the rotation. Arche didn’t particularly mind. They had more than enough bodies to keep an eye out and it had been a long, stressful day for all of them.

“How did a tengu and a halfling come to be traveling companions?” Tess asked as they ate.

Abraxios waved a wing toward Odelia, his beak buried inside a small bag. Arche eyed it suspiciously, then stifled a gag as the tengu withdrew his beak, bright colored grubs disappearing as Abraxios threw his head back and swallowed.

Odelia smiled at the large birdman fondly, smothering the expression as she wiped soup from her mouth with a small cloth handkerchief.

“We met by happenstance, actually. I was on a pilgrimage, you see, seeking to deepen my connection with nature by meditating on the peak of Mount Coeus. Fancy that when in the middle of my meditation, I hear the loudest squawking. I broke meditation to see what the fuss was and saw a huge bird diving toward the side of the mountain. I thought for certain it was some giant raptor, come to eat me, but then it crashed. I decided to investigate and that’s when we met.”

Abraxios’s neck feathers ruffled as the group shared a chuckle at the thought of quiet, reserved Abraxios crashing into a mountain.

“I was a very inexperienced flyer. I was just beginning to practice my air magic, not yet to my profession, and I caught an updraft badly. It sent me spinning out of control, into the best accident of my life.”

Odelia reached out and rubbed Abraxios’s arm feathers. He let out a low cooing noise at her touch. Lyssa shifted slightly in her seat, inching away from the two, and the moment ended. Odelia withdrew her hand as though she had touched fire, suddenly very interested in her broth. Abraxios stiffened, pausing from his meal. Arche looked up from the pomegranate he’d been scooping, feeling like he’d missed something. There was a tension in the air, now, where camaraderie had been a moment earlier.

Before Arche could think up a way to alleviate the pressure, Abraxios stowed his food bag, announced he was going to bed, and walked away before anyone could say anything further. Odelia also finished her meal, putting away her utensils and retreating a short distance down the hall for privacy. Tess gave Lyssa a pointed look and rolled her eyes.

“What…just happened?” Arche asked, utterly nonplussed.

“I’ll start the watch,” Lyssa said, ignoring the question as she walked away.

Arche looked at Tess, hoping for answers. She rubbed her eyes and edged closer so they could speak in quieter tones.

“Just some old prejudices shaking their ugly heads.”

“What?”

Tess sighed heavily and rubbed her eyes again. “Right, sorry. You wouldn’t know.”

Arche snorted quietly. “Someday, maybe, people will stop saying that to me.”

Tess continued, ignoring his comment. “Look, a lot of people disapprove of relationships like this. Some think of it as a purity thing, others as a distrust of any who are not their own, and still others hold grudges against slights that may have never even personally affected them.”

“Oh?” Arche blinked a few times in rapid succession. “Oh. Oh!”

“Indeed.”

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

“But then…what happened?”

“People who have suffered persecution tend to be hyperaware of the signs of intolerance. It’s really not that surprising. Lyssa indicated she didn’t approve and they reacted to that.”

Arche frowned.

“I didn’t see it.”

“Why would you? You weren’t looking for it. It’s not shocking that she’d be uncomfortable with interspecies relationships. Many are, and her upbringing as a wood elf would not help her in that regard.”

“That seems like a heavy accusation to levy for such a small reaction.”

“What about the way she reacted when you first met your satyr friend? What about the way she acted when she first met you?”

“She saved me.”

“And nearly killed you in the same breath.”

“That doesn’t make her a bad person.”

“I’m not saying she’s a bad person, Arche, but she is an elf from a remote village. The older people get, the harder it is for them to change, and elves are both notoriously long-lived and difficult to judge on age. I’ve never heard of her village, but if it’s one of the older elven strongholds then they might still hold onto traditions and perspectives from thousands of years ago, with all the good and bad that comes from that.”

“Lyssa is not incapable of change. She’s changed drastically in the short time I’ve known her.”

“I’m not disputing that, what I’m saying is that sometimes her reactions to things are going to upset people with modern sensibilities. People who have already had to put up with a lot of difficulties for being who and what they are.”

Arche looked over at Abraxios and Odelia, who were lying on bedrolls next to each other, the tengu’s wing draped protectively over the halfling in sleep.

“She’s not a bad person,” Tess repeated. “But neither are they, and they don’t deserve to be treated like they’re doing something wrong for loving each other.”

Arche was quiet for a while, letting the silence settle as he tried to arrange his thoughts.

“When I first met the elves,” he said. “they treated me with distrust. Some of them regarded me like an exotic trinket from a faraway land, an object to be gawked at or examined. That was the nicer treatment. Others looked at me like a threat or an unpleasant smell. Lord Cypress also treated me with distrust but he gave me the chance to prove that I wasn’t a threat to his people. Lyssa didn’t wait for me to prove myself before she helped me. She taught me basic combat skills and got me proper armor so I could survive the task we shared. She trusted me to have her back and not to turn on her. She trusted my judgment before I had any idea of who I was. She may be a product of her environment but she’s more than that.”

Arche nodded toward Abraxios and Odelia.

“You can’t expect the impossible from people doing their best. It’s easy to take a single action or reaction and judge someone’s entire personality from it, but that ignores everything. Every struggle or decision they’ve made. Every introspective argument. You’re making assumptions about her based on her background, but you’re ignoring who she is.”

“Think about their lives, for a moment,” Tess said softly. “In the city, it may have been more acceptable, but not everyone sees it the same way. They’ll have met opposition at every turn. Don’t you find it odd that there are no other tengu in the village? They’re rare enough this side of Tartarus, not to mention one on his own. He’s either been cast out of or willingly left his flock, something that doesn’t happen without a strong reason. Most of the people that came here are hoping to start a new life for themselves, away from the obstacles of their old ones. Aren’t they allowed to be disappointed when they see the same disapproval they’ve been trying to get away from?”

“Of course they are, but at the same time they are of this world. They know it and its people, and they know that, right or wrong, there are people who disapprove of what they do, who they are. I bet they’ve faced more opposition and opinions about their relationship than I can guess and they probably always will because some people will refuse to change. That isn’t right, but…” Arche trailed off.

Tess nudged him, brows raised. “But?”

“But they have each other. They know who they are and they’ve embraced it, regardless of what others think. They have their identity and no outsider can take that from them.”

Tess cocked her head, staring at him. Arche fixed his eyes on his hands.

“You envy them.”

He hesitated.

“In a way. Who they are has been reinforced by the adversity they’ve faced. The more people tell them what and who they should be, the more they commit to who they are. Me? I’m…I don’t even know. Am I a warrior? Am I my profession? Am I a magic spear’s bearer? I have no idea who I am and every step I take makes me feel farther away from finding out. How can I look at people who have steadfastly proclaimed who they are and are willing to stand against adversity to prove it without being a little envious of that certainty? I know, it’s a horrible thing to think. They’ve been through more than any person should have to, I don’t want to disparage that, but it’s hard to see them and not connect my own struggles to it.”

“It’s not a horrible thing. I think it makes you human. You want to know the person you used to be, but that isn’t necessarily the person you are.”

“How can I know who I am if I don’t know who I was?”

“Because you exist, here and now. You are a person, sitting here on this stone, capable of thinking, making decisions, and feeling.”

She flicked his ear lightly.

“Ow.”

“Your reactions, your choices, your intent, your ideals. These things and more all help make up who you are. You may not know who you used to be but that doesn’t stop you from being the person you are now. The person who brought all of us together. The person who’s trying to save the whole village by stopping the beastmar. The person who saved me. You may think you don’t have an identity, but I think you have more certainty of self than you realize.”

Tess stood, stretching as she yawned.

“Now, I’m going to bed before it’s my turn to go out on watch.”

Arche nodded, standing as well.

“Thank you, Tess, for the conversation.”

Tess flashed him a brilliant smile and his heart skipped a beat.

“Thank you for being you.”

She turned and walked away, leaving him alone in the firelight, heat spreading across his cheeks and a strange ache in his chest.