“I’ve cleaned and sealed the wound on your side but it would be ideal if you didn’t do anything stupid for the next few days,” Doctor Robinson said while giving possibly the drollest look I’d ever seen.

Looking at the ceiling, I replied with a wince. “It’s not like I tried to get shot.”

“Judging from the number of bullet bruises on just your arms, not to mention the various other spots I’ve looked at, I have to disagree. I’m sure you were suitably heroic. Later I might even be suitably appreciative of your efforts, but right now I’m your doctor and I don’t like seeing you injured like this.”

“Okay, next time I promise I won’t get shot…as much,” I said to the good doctor with a wink.

“Ugh…how are you this stubborn at such a young age,” she snarked while crossing her arms and scowling at me. “You’re almost as bad as Colonel Morales.

“I believe it’s a mix of hard work and natural skill. Although I’m not sure if that last part was an insult or a compliment.”

She threw her pen at me.

“Get out before you make me laugh. I’m not ready to give up my doctorly indignation about your injuries just yet,” she said while pointing at the door with a scowl that was threatening to turn into a smile.

I put my hands up in defeat. “Okay, okay, can I at least get dressed first? Honestly, I don’t feel that bad,” I offered while hopping off the exam table. When I hit the floor a a stinging pain radiated from the bullet wound in my side causing me to grimace and to involuntarily hiss in pain.

“Ha! Serves you right,” Doctor Robinson said while picking her pen up off the floor from where it had landed after bouncing off of me.

“Yeah maybe,” I mumbled. “Where’s my uniform?”

“Doctor Rokker’s team is taking your uniform for analysis, but let’s be honest, it was ruined anyway. You’re going to need a new one and I told them that I’d let them know when they could come get it. Where’s your cape by the way?”

That sobered me up and I felt my eyes get glassy. I’d been putting on a bit of a show with my quippy attitude and Doctor Robinson knew it, but she also knew that it wasn’t the right time to call me on it.

I took a breath and rubbed my eyes clear of the moisture that had been accumulating there before meeting Doctor Robinson’s gaze. “I…I’m not ready to talk about the details just yet, but let’s just say I left it with someone who needed it more than I did. If I had to guess though, I imagine it’s with the MCPD. You might want to tell Doctor Rokker’s team to check with them as I’m sure they collected it with her bod…” I stopped dead and closed my eyes while balling my fists.

I felt Doctor Robinson’s arms close around me in a hug and the emotional dam that had barely been keeping my emotions in check broke. I leaned into her embrace and cried on her shoulder until the flood of emotions had run their course.

When I finally regained my composure Doctor Robinson put both hands on my shoulders and stepped back to look into my eyes. “Dani, I’ll give you some space but you’re going to need to talk about whatever happened. I’m supposed to send you to Lieutenant Colonel Amin and Captain Williams for debriefing but that’s only if I clear you as fit for it. Are you fit for it?” she asked gently.

With an impressive sniffle that probably undercut my intention somewhat, I nodded affirmatively. Also proving that the brain works in strange ways, it was at that moment that it caught up to me that I’d been standing there in my underwear. “Um, if I can’t have my uniform back what am I supposed to wear? I don’t really relish the idea of walking across the base in my undies.”

Doctor Robinson responded by handing me a box of tissues which I gladly accepted before blowing my nose loudly. After restoring some order to my face I noticed that she had produced a small stack of clothes from somewhere and handed them to me. Turns out it was a shirt and sweatpants in the base’s navy color and the white star logo that we had adopted after the program went live. I quickly put on the clothes and felt immensely better and less self-conscious. The only problem I could see was that I wasn’t wearing any shoes since they were built into my uniform and came off as one piece with the leggings.

Looking at my feet and wiggling my toes I asked, “I don’t suppose you have some shoes hidden around here somewhere too?”

Doctor Robinson looked at down at my bare feet with a grimace while fiddling with her stethoscope. “Right, the shoes are part of the pants. You don’t wear socks?”

“Nope, the shoes are molded to my feet and weren’t designed for socks. I’d have to take the leggings off to adjust something anyway.”

“That seems…less than optimal,” she said slowly with a frown. “Let me see what I have in the store room. I’m sure we have some of those exam socks with the little grippers on them somewhere.”

She stepped out of the room and I could hear her call for one of the nurses on duty. While she stepped out I took the time to adjust the drawstring on the pants before taking a deep breath. The fatigue of the day was really starting to set in, but I evidently still had a debrief ahead of me and it was still only early evening.

Doctor Robinson popped back into the room holding a package of sky blue socks and a bag of bandages. “Found em. Well, Tara found them, but at least you won’t have to walk back barefoot. I’ve released you officially on your paperwork and I’ll text the Lieutenant Colonel a few minutes after you leave to give you a little head start. I’ll follow up with you tomorrow of course. Also, before you leave, a shower tonight is ok but no baths, and keep the bandage on for the next forty-eight hours while you're healing.”

I was busy putting the socks on while she talked so I mumbled a, “Thanks,” before heading toward the door and pausing, “I am free to go right?”

“Yes Dani, go.”

With a nod, I started out the door before I stopped and rushed back into the room and hugged the taller woman. “Thanks doc,” I whispered before rushing out the door leaving her standing there with a surprised expression.

First things first, was to get to my quarters which were on the other side of the base. Unfortunately, that meant I was going to have to go down a floor so I rushed down the hall as fast as I could trying my best not to break out into a run. All while studiously ignoring all the odd glances I was getting for walking around in my socks. Thankfully the doctor having some clothes spared me the full indignity of having to do it in a hospital gown or worse yet wrapped in the crinkle paper from the exam table. Fortunately, I only passed a handful of people in the hallway before I made it to my room.

Once in my room, I beelined for my phone which was still on the bathroom counter where I had left it before my ill-advised adventure. The battery indicator showed thirty three percent which was probably good enough for the time being as long as I didn’t spend a bunch of time on it. The screen also showed a bunch of missed texts and a voicemail from Lieutenant Colonel Amin which I winced at.

The most recent text was from Christina though letting me know she was back home and that she’d call me tomorrow but to text her if I wanted to. I’d find time to sort out all the messages later, but right now I figured it was best to go talk to Lieutenant Colonel Amin and Captain Williams sooner rather than later.

Before going anywhere though, I needed to jump in the shower because, despite a wipe down or two, I was still covered in far too much gross to feel comfortable interacting with others. After a quick shower to wash all the grime off, I was feeling a lot better if sore. I spent some time looking in the mirror and noticed bags under my eyes that weren’t there when I left, and that the bruises I’d accumulated were already starting to get some color since my metabolism sped up the process. I made sure to put a new bandage over the bullet wound, and towel dried my hair before heading to my bedroom to figure out what to wear.

In the end, I decided to wear the sweatpants and shirt Doctor Robinson gave me as they were a little bit oversized which made them comfortable over the accumulated bruises and wounds. Somewhat ironically, once I had slipped on my trainers I looked more like I was ready for some PT at the gym, rather than someone who had just come from a hostage scene and shoot out.

Slipping back into the bathroom I put my hair up into a messy ponytail and was in the process of putting on deodorant and double checking that I looked at least half presentable when my phone rang. The caller ID showed that it was Lieutenant Colonel Amin. “Crap.”

I quickly hit the accept button and put it on speaker. “Hello Astraea.”

“Hello Dani. Doctor Robinson let me know a while ago that she had cleared you to debrief and Captain Williams and I were just wondering when we would have the pleasure of your company.”

If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

Whew, Lieutenant Colonel Amin, aka Astraea, did not sound happy. I knew that I’d have to take responsibility for deploying without orders and face the reality that I put myself and possibly the whole program in jeopardy. Still, a little ember of anger swirled up inside of me at her tone. It had been a hell of a day, and despite my actions, a little empathy wasn’t too much to ask considering what Fox and I had run into. The more thought I gave it, the more certain I was that we should have been deployed in the first place.

“Listen Lieutenant Colonel, I understand the need to debrief, but I’m also equally sure that Fox has already checked in. Not to mention that I’m sure you were monitoring everything that happened. You’ll have to excuse me if I prioritized getting some clean clothes and washing a dead girl’s blood out of my hair before coming to see you,” I snapped at the phone, not doing a good job managing my emotions.

There was a long pause before Lieutenant Colonel Amin spoke. “I…see. Please meet us in the training room’s conference room as soon as you can.”

“I’m just finishing up here and should be there in under ten minutes. See you soon,” I replied before hitting the end call button with a grimace. I probably shouldn’t have taken that tone. Looking in the mirror one last time, I adjusted my hair tie before considering myself good enough. I made sure my phone was in my pocket and I headed out to meet Astraea and Captain Williams.

I ended up arriving at the conference room a few minutes later than the deadline I’d given myself due to giving in to a sudden and unstoppable craving for a mocha iced coffee. The craving had led me up to the second floor coffee shop and the hope that they’d be quick. In the end, I was overly optimistic.

The conference room was open when I arrived and I hadn’t been there since my certification meeting earlier in the month. Captain Williams and Lieutenant Colonel Amin were chatting toward the back of the room with some empty coffee cups and the local news on one of the televisions.

“Greetings, I come bearing caffeine,” I said as I swept into the room with my iced coffee and a beverage holder. “I think I got it right, but I apologize if I got your drinks wrong. I was hit with a crazy coffee craving and I caved. Also sorry I’m late.”

As usual, I was rambling which was always a tell that I was nervous. A better sign for my potential career was that Colonel Morales wasn’t here.

“An iced caramel macchiato for you Captain, and a black and white for you Lieutenant Colonel,” I said while placing the drinks in front of them.

“Thank you, Dani, and you can use my callsign. It fits for a meeting like this where it's official but not formal. Also, thank you for coming considering the day you’ve had, and I’d like to apologize for my tone earlier. While I will admit to some frustrations with you and how today played out I should have had some consideration for you.”

Taking a seat, I met her eyes and I could tell she was being honest with me. “Thank you Astraea.”

She acknowledged me with a nod before pressing a button on the desk and then leaning forward and lacing her fingers together while resting her elbows on the table. Astraea locked her gaze on me and the somewhat friendly demeanor evaporated in an instant. She stayed like that while waiting for the door the door to close, which after what felt like forever, finally did with a soft click.

Astraea didn’t waste any time once the door was closed. “Captain Williams and I are very disappointed in some of the choices you made today. As part of the team that trained you, your actions are a direct reflection on us, and as such had hoped to see better discipline. While we understand you’re not strictly military, you’ve jeopardized your entire career before you even had your first mission and put the entire program at risk.”

Oof. They weren't wasting any time.

“You were correct on the phone earlier that Fox has checked in and he has already sent in a preliminary account. He noted that the situation turned out to be far more complicated than the initial assessment. We are currently trying to figure out the identity of the boy that was abducted. We’re hoping we get a hit on facial recognition provided by Fox’s helmet,” she explained and started typing on the display inlaid into the table.

Basically what I’m wondering is, if any of the tactical training and basic discipline actually stuck or if I wasted all those hours training you?” Captain Williams interjected with a very pointed look taking over the conversation while Astraea was busy with the console.

“No, Ma’am,” I started to say.

“No, nothing stuck, or No I didn’t waste my time?” she snapped.

“No, you didn’t waste your time. I know I went off protocol but when I saw what was happening I couldn’t sit still and do nothing. We’re supposed to be helping people and Fox indicated we wouldn’t be deployed,” I fired back.

Astraea had paused what she was doing and was now watching our exchange with an odd expression on her face that led me to believe that Captain Williams was currently off-script.

“Cut the bullshit PMC Walker. Do you think we’re stupid? Your friends were in the mall during the attack. You didn’t decide to go out of the goodness of your heart. You went out of a selfish desire to save your friends, so don’t go trying to blow smoke up my ass of your altruistic intentions,” retorted Captain Williams.

Anger flashed through my body and I felt my face get hot as I was on the verge of losing my temper, but before I said or did truly regrettably I remembered a quote Fox would use from time to time.

“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” by Robert Frost

He said that he liked this quote from Robert Frost because it reminded him that sometimes the biggest obstacle to growth was our own emotions. Using that thought I pushed down my anger to a manageable ember so that I could hear what the Captain was saying rather than reacting.

Taking a deep breath I answered her accusation, “You’re right. I won’t sit here and try and deny that I wanted to save my friends. But, if my friends weren’t in that mall then I might not have been where I could help people. Once I committed to going it was with every intention of helping everyone there, not just my friends. I admit that I royally screwed up how I handled everything and did not give the program, or all of you, the thought you deserved. I’m ready to face the consequences of my actions but I don’t regret them.”

Captain Williams folded her arms and stared at me without saying a word for what felt like an eternity before finally saying a single word, “Good.”

My mind absolutely stuttered at that response before I responded with a very eloquent, “Uh, what?”

At this point, Astraea was now trying to hide a smile behind a hand as she looked at Captain Williams, who nodded fractionally in her direction.

Breaking out in an obvious smile and with a shake of her head Astraea pointed at Captain Williams and said, “Oh no, this is all you. Please continue.”

I couldn’t help but look between them with a bewildered expression. I had no idea what was going on or whether or not I was being punished or not.

Captain Williams shot Astraea a dirty look before focusing on me again. “The simple truth is you pissed off a lot of people today Dani. A whole PR launch had been planned for later in the week to introduce you and the team. Your reckless decision today took the shine off that apple at best, and ruined it at worst, depending on how your actions today are received.”

“The Secretary of Supernormal Affairs was scheduled to fly in to officially launch the team to the public,” Astraea interjected providing some context.

“Oh,” I said and slumped back into my chair. My mind was racing at how shortsighted I’d been. I’d been told at every turn that the program reached the highest levels of government, but I’d always disassociated myself from the political side. I'd always thought politics were for other people, but on the path I’ve chosen, they really are intertwined.

“Right, but that’s somewhat incidental. Mostly we just wanted to make our frustration clear in the hopes that you’d think things through a bit more moving forward. Neither myself nor Captain Williams are recommending anything worse than an official warning and remedial classes about the chain of command and operational protocol,” Astraea explained. “Seeing as this program is military adjacent and not strictly under the Department of Defense it should offer us some leeway. Granted, it’s not entirely up to us, and The Department of Supernormal Affairs will have a say as well, of course. It’s worth noting that Colonel Morales has been locked away in meetings since the operative with the white hair was confirmed active in this incident, so my gut tells me there’s something bigger at play.”

“Dani, I’m going to be candid for a moment,” started Captain Willaims after Astraea had finished.

“Never be afraid to have moral conviction. Blindly following orders will never suit you, and there may come a time when you will need to stand firm while it feels like the whole world is against you. You lack experience, and if we just roll up the rug the first time you make a mistake we’d be pretty awful teachers. Just learn some finesse and how to pick your battles please,” Captain Williams said and then took a big swig of her coffee.

Captain Williams was usually all business so it was rare for her to speak like this, and frankly, it threw me off a bit. Guarded was a good way to describe her, and while I didn’t want to push my luck, I also couldn’t miss an opportunity to get more of her thoughts.

“How do you handle orders or things you don’t believe in,” Captain Willaims?

She took a long pull on her coffee seemingly wrestling with how she wanted to answer before putting down the cup and meeting my gaze.

“I didn’t join the army to be a blind robot that only follows orders if that’s what you’re wondering. One of the reasons I joined was that it allowed me to change my personal situation and the army seemed to reward hard work. I was fortunate to have some good mentors and they taught me that great leaders don’t make you compromise your morals,” her voice trailed off a bit as she looked past me seeming lost in a memory for a moment.

She started to crush her coffee cup a bit at the last part, but it seemed to snap her out of whatever memory her thoughts had taken her to. “Also, sometimes as a leader that means stepping on a moral landmine to protect your squadmates. It’s no secret that I didn’t want this assignment, so I had to approach it from the perspective of trying to shield Fox and Brunner from the fallout from our previous unit. If we also have the opportunity to do good things at the same time, then all the better, and as long as I am here I will do everything in my power to carry out STAR’s mission…your mission, to help protect those who need it. LIke I said, never be afraid to have moral conviction, but actions have consequences. Some you can see and some you can’t. Just always be ready to answer for those actions and try not to drag others down with you.”

Suddenly Astraea looked up from her screen, “On that uplifting note, I just received notice that we've been placed on standby. Time to meet the team Star.”