Ruby always imagined that the first time she went to jail it would be with a pocketful of lien to pay for Yang’s bond. Or maybe to pick up Uncle Qrow after he had a bit too much to drink.

But no, Ruby Rose, fifteen, student of Signal Academy, totally badass huntress in training, was cooling her heels in an interrogation room, face squished against the lone table, arms sprawled out across it and eyes half-lidded as if closing them would hide her from the crippling boredom.

Then the door opened and she peeked up, expecting the stern, mean, no-good lady in the tight skirt and ugly cape, (It wasn’t even a proper cloak. What a plebian) but instead it was an older man, white hair combed back, round glasses sitting on the end of his nose and a tray covered in cookies held in one hand.

She sat up, eyed the cookies for a moment longer, then the mug in his other hand before finally deining to look him in the eye. “You must be Miss Rose, I’m Ozpin and... you have silver eyes.”

“And you have cookies. Gimme.”

He let out a laugh that sounded grandfatherly (not that she had much experience there beyond things she saw on TV) and dropped the plate before her. “Dig in,” he said before pulling the chair across from her back and sliding into it. “Once you’re done I-- and you’re done.”

She looked up at him, a sudden wash of guilt filling her tummy, but it was buried under a thick layer of chocolate chips. “Mmm sorry?” she said, a few crumbs escaping.

“It’s not a problem,” he said, eyes pinching in the corners in a genial smile. “Now, as I was going to say, I had a few questions I was hoping you could answer.”

“And then I get more cookies?” she asked. “Wait, were those Beacon cookies?”

Ozpin’s eyebrows rose. “They were, I’m afraid, perfectly ordinary cookies. I was thinking that we would then let you go after a few questions, but if you would rather stay the night...”

“No, no,” she said, arms waving in denial. Staying in jail for a few hours was going to be hard enough to explain to dad, staying overnight would be... pretty bad. Even if she got more cookies it wouldn’t be worth it, unless it was a lot of them. “I can get my fix somewhere else.”

“I’m sure,” he said. “Now, if you don’t mind, could you explain what happened tonight in your own words? We have the report and the camera footage to help, and of course the two professors as eyewitnesses, but you are the only one who was there the entire time.”

“Oh, yeah, I can do that,” she said. Thinking for a moment, she ran the events of the morning through her mind again and tried to place everything in order before she began. “So, I was at the Dust store because I was bored and Crescent Rose needed more high explosive rounds.”

“That’s your weapon?”

Ruby nodded. “She’s the best weapon on Remnant.”

His smile twitched a little. “I see. That’s good to know. I have Professor Port a few rooms down interrogating her, but don’t worr--”

“Without me present?” Ruby asked, her feet smashing into the ground as she stood up to her full height. “She’s a minor, you can’t do that. Doesn’t she need a parent in the room? Or a lawyer? I’m her mommy. I should be there.”

“Um,” the man said. “Technically she’s not alive.”

Ruby gasped. “That’s... that’s so rude.”

He blinked and took a sip from his mug. “As I was going to say, don’t worry. Port will be polite, I’m sure. He may be loud but he wouldn’t hurt a fly. I guarantee it.”

Ruby narrowed her eyes at him, but sat back down with a huff. “Fine. So, to continue my story. I was in the Dust store, you know, the one with the candy rack at the back and the magazines near the windows?”

“I know the one, yes.”

“Right. Just minding my own business when this guy told me I was being robbed. So I asked myself, ‘What would Yang do?’ then I punched him.” She made the gesture of punching someone, even adding a ‘wuff’ noise for emphasis.

“I see,” he said.

“Yup. Then that Roman Torchwick guy sassed me. So I showed him Crescent Rose. She sassed him back.”

Ozpin seemed suitably impressed. “And then what happened?”

“He sent his goons at me then ran away.” She huffed, arms crossing over her chest. “The jerk probably thought he could get away.”

“To be fair to Mister Torchwick’s abilities, he did in fact get away,” Ozpin pointed out.

Ruby felt blood rising to her cheeks. “Well... yeah, okay. Anyway, I chased him onto the street, he said this thing about blowing up the city with the Dust he had on him. He tried to shoot me but missed because, I’m, like, super fast. And then he ran up the ladder to the top of a building.”

“And you followed him?” Ozpin asked.

“Pfft, no. I’m wearing a skirt. Skirts are super cute. Yang said so. But they’re kinda bad for climbing. So I shot Crescent Rose and used the recoil to get to the roof.”

He nodded. “That would explain the crater.”

“Ah, I mean, I totally climbed the ladder.”

“Of course,” he said, a bit of a smile returning. “And once you reached the rooftop?”

“Right, right. Um, Roman threw some dust at me, a Bullhead showed up, then those two professors showed up, the mean one and the faunus.” She explained with appropriate gestures.

“The... faunus. Are you talking about the woman who controlled the insects?” he asked.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“What? No, she’s not a faunus. She’s... uh, nevermind. I’m talking about the guy in the red... thing, with the mustache.” Ruby helpfully outlined the man’s mustache with her free hand.

“You’re talking about Professor Peter Port? I’m afraid that he’s not a faunus.”

Ruby blinked, mind going back to what the man had looked like. “Are you sure?” she asked.

“Pretty sure, yes.”

“But he’s so,” she began, gesturing around herself as if to encompass something larger than life. “Walrus-y.”

Ozpin took a sip from his mug.

“Anyway. Ake--uh, the Grimm girl jumped out of the Bullhead and then that mean lady fired some Dust spells at it, which was kind of cool, and then they talked. That’s it.”

“That’s it?” he repeated.

“Pretty much,” Ruby said with a perfectly nonchalant shrug of one shoulder.

Ozpin leaned back into his seat and brought his mug up to hover under his nose. “Do you know who I am, Miss Rose?” he asked.

“You’re Ozpin the headmaster of Beacon Academy.”

He chuckled. “My reputation precedes me, I see. Did you ever consider attending my school, Miss Rose?”

Ruby’s breath caught in her throat. Quick as a flash, she ran through everything she had said, her cookie-scarfing episode and how uncool she was being. “Eep.”

“Now, my school could really use more intrepid and... resourceful young woman such as yourself, Miss Rose,” he said and Ruby felt her chest tightening and her eyes growing wider. “Did you know that I can allow students to begin their studies at Beacon early? Miss Rose, if you tell me everything you know about this Grimm girl, I’m certain there would be a place for you at Beacon Academy, where you’ll not only be safe, but will also be in a position to learn amongst the best.”

Ruby gulped.

***

Akelarre took three steps into the room, spun around, and flopped backwards into the couch with all the thundering force of a feather trying to knock down a mountain. Her arms went limp by her sides and she let her head fall back into the soft embrace of the couch.

“You too?” Roman asked from where he was slumped on a cushioned chair next to the room’s poker table. “I didn’t think you would have trouble dealing with little Red.”

“Oh no,” Akelarre said airily with a weak wave of her arm. “Ruby didn’t give me any trouble. You’re the only one that had a hard time dealing with a single fifteen year old, Roman.”

“Hey!” he barked.

Neo made a breathy noise that might have been a laugh as she slipped into the room and walked around the couch. She patted Roman on the head until he growled at her and swatted her hand away. Her grin as she took a seat next to Akelarre and leaned out to place her head on the older girl’s lap was positively shit eating.

“What do you guys know about the professors of Beacon? Are they strong, important?” she asked while bringing up one arm to run her fingers through Neo’s bicolour hair. “I know they work for Ozma.”

“It’s Ozpin, actually, and not really. They’re strong, sure. All retired huntsmen and good ones besides, but they don’t exactly have political positions. Still, you know how kids collect cards of famous hunters?”

“They have cards?”

Roman sighed. “Right, sometimes I forget you’re basically the demon Princess of some deserted island. Some folks have hunter cards. Kids like them. They have little battles with dice and stuff. It’s adorable.”

Neo raised both hands and made some complicated gestures in the air.

“I’m not just mentioning them because I have one!” Roman said. “Anyway. They’re well connected, but they’re small fry. And if they’re giving you trouble, you only need to wait for school hours to do what you want. Why’re you asking?”

“So they’re just connected to the headmaster then?” she asked.

“They’re professors. He runs the school. Do I have to... I have to explain school to you, don’t I? Do you even know how to read?”

Akelarre rolled her eyes. “I know how schools work.” She sighed and patted Neo’s head. “I think we’re going to have to step up our plans. By a lot.”

“What’s that mean?” he asked.

“It means that I need you to talk to Junior. Tell him that the Knights are probably going to fold or fall within the week and that he’s going to need to get ready to fill the hole they leave behind. Unless the professors show up again.”

“That’s unlikely,” he said with a nonchalant wave. “School starts tomorrow.”

Akelarre perked up. “Then tonight is perfect.” She wiggled her hips to get Neo to lift her head. “I’m heading out,” she declared. “I’m tired of being all mopey and bored. I said I would take over this city’s underworld and I’ll do it. If Ozma wants to escalate, then I’ll just out-escalate him.”

Neo huffed but shifted and got to her feet. She pointed at herselt with a thumb, then pointed at Akelarre.

“You want to come with?” she asked.

Neo nodded, though she did look rather exasperated.

“You know, it’s mostly just going to be me scaring a lot of bad people until they're afraid to breathe without my permission, then using that fear to ensure that they....actually, I think it’s exactly the kind of thing you’d enjoy.”

Roman too, stood. “I’m getting a drink,” he said. “I think we’ll all need one by the end of the night.”