He could see all of it in a blink.
His entire life.
Flashing before him.
The early years as a pup in The Wyrding, learning the ways of the Wild in his mother’s shadow. The years spent adventuring with Little Badger and seeing her grow into Wise Badger and finally Old Badger. The pain of her turning down his offer for immortality.
But there was also his second life.
Growing up in a circus and dreaming of adventure. Adventure that he found beyond the Wyrd Stones. Alongside the prince of all foxes. The pain… of reaching too high and falling… breaking… and becoming part of a god.
That had been the beginning of his third life.
Memories of two lives in one body. Both gaining dominance depending on the shape he took.
The pain… of being driven from the circus when they realized what he had become. When they saw his eyes and knew he was no longer the boy they had once loved. Cast into the night. Wandering Garuccia… alone. And then integrating himself into House Rossi using his divine powers.
It had been a long life.
Another blink and it was gone.
The fox prince found himself standing in the middle of a carnival.
The air was thick with the smell of popcorn and cotton candy. Colorful tents had been set up all over an open field and every one of them promised that wonders and horrors were waiting inside. Snake charmers who could tame even the most venomous predator, illusionists who could talk to your dead loved ones, twins that had melted together in their mother’s womb, men so grotesquely malformed you couldn’t even be sure they were men, women who could grow a more impressive beard than you…
For a moment he thought he was back home. Back at the circus where he… where Sal Torrini had grown up in.
But…
But Sal’s circus had never been this grand. To be honest it had been a shabby thing kept afloat by the owner’s creative bookkeeping and sheer determination of its cast and crew. A far cry from this place that made money with every performance and could afford to hire the best people to bring in even more money.
There were people everywhere but none of them paid any heed to the giant fox walking in their midst. How could they? They didn’t have any eyes. Their faces were empty and featureless sans the smile someone had drawn on them with lipstick.
They had no mouths, but they could still laugh.
It was the laugh of a doll that would cackle when you pulled the string on its back. The eerie giggling of something trying to look human and missing the mark.
The fox prince looked at the fake people with their fake smiles and fake laughs and then began to run. He ran as fast as he could and promised himself not to stop until he found the borders of this horrid place. When he wanted to, he could race with the wind… but this time it didn’t matter. No matter how fast or what direction he ran into, he always found himself in the same place. It was like he was trapped on a small globe.
“Hate to break it to you, prince, but this is the one ride where there is no getting off from.”
The fox prince looked around wildly when he heard the voice. It was high-pitched and shrill like a child’s but had the cadence of a grown man.
“Who’s there?!” The fox prince yelled.
“No need to shout. I hear you just fine.”
A child clown sucking on a cigarette like it was a lollipop was walking up to him. He was dressed in all white from the tip of his cone hat to the soles of his shoes. The only splash of color on him were the red buttons on his shirt, the crimson paint on his lips and nose and… the deep red of his eyes.
The clown waved at him… with a hand where the fingers ended in black talons.
“What’s up, prince? Blessing of the Dark upon you and all that.” The clown said and puffed out a smoke ring.
“You’re… a vampire?” The fox prince said.
The clown laughed and put out the cigarette under his oversized shoe.
“What gave me away? My pretty red eyes? Or my impressive chompers?”
The fox prince bared his fangs and got ready to fight.
“Release me!”
The vampire clown put up his hands as a sign of surrender.
“No can do, daddy-o. I’m stuck here just as much as you are.”
The fox prince scratched the ground with his claws. Vampires were strong but this one had the body of a child. Overpowering the undead beast would be simple enough. Eating its head even more so.
“Explain.” The fox prince growled.
“A bit slow on the uptake, are we? You know how The Wyrding has five circles, right? The land of the fae at the top. Land of the demons under it and the third… Darn. Help me out here, prince. What was the third circle called?”
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A cold dread gouged at the fox prince’s guts.
“… land of the dead.”
“That’s the one!” The vampire clown said and pointed finger guns at him: “The last pitstop before the big sleep where powerful spirits can hang out and build homesteads until they finally get bored and go through… that.”
The vampire clown pointed into the distance and when the fox prince followed his finger, he saw it. A black gate standing atop of a spiraling staircase. It had been carved from dark stone and was too heavy for any man to close but light enough for anyone to open. Even if they didn’t mean to.
“… I’m… dead?” The fox prince said.
“Yup. That Pietro Capello… goddamn, he beat the shit out of you.” The vampire clown said and grinned: “And yeah. I saw it. I like watching the living. Particularly in the bath.”
The vampire clown giggled to himself and lit another cigarette before offering the pack to the fox prince.
“Care for a smoke?”
“I… don’t partake.” The fox prince said.
“Your loss.” The clown said and put the cigarettes away: “Tragic really. I was rooting for you and trust me, buddy, I know tragedy. Do you know what happens when you get vamped at thirteen? I’ll tell you what. You have the needs of a man but the dick of a thirteen-year-old. If that ain’t a tragedy, I don’t know what is.”
The fox prince stared at the black gate dumbfounded and barely heard the clown. The clown looked at him annoyed.
“Is some door really more interesting than me?”
“… what’s behind it?” The fox prince said.
“Not a clue. Heaven? Hell? The Green Lands? Nothingness? That’s the ultimate truth no religion can answer. Nobody knows until they walk through it and when you do… your hairy ass isn’t coming back to tell the tale.” The clown said and blew out a smoke ring: “I’m Hilbert by the way.”
The fox prince turned slowly to look at the clown.
“Hilbert?”
“What can I say? My parents didn’t like me very much. I cracked that nut when they sold me to a wandering circus, but things worked out. I joked my way to the service of a real big shot and after a couple of years of bothering the maids… I was turned into a vampire.”
Hilbert laughed and pointed at his chest.
“Then things suddenly didn’t work out. I was caught in the bedroom of a real hot mama and got stabbed here.” Hilbert said and tapped his chest: “Staked right through the heart.”
The fox prince growled.
“I need to get back! Pietro is still out there! Badger needs me! Cassio needs me! Little Ant needs me! Nuncio needs me!”
“Hey, if you can find a way back, I am all ears. I would love nothing more than to get back to that hot mama’s bedroom. Or some hot mama’s bedroom at any rate. I can’t get enough of their massive milkers.” Hilbert said and motioned milking giant udders above his head but then shook his head: “But as it stands… there is only one exit. The black door.”
The fox prince looked at the dark gates again and could feel them… calling to him. They were already creeping open. Waiting for him to walk through. The longer he looked at them… the more his living life felt like a dream he was waking up from. All his fears and worries slid off his back like so much unnecessary weight.
Come. Come and be free. Come and rest.
Rest… freedom… He had done his duty in the time he had and the gates… the gates were calling.
Hilbert scratched him behind the ears.
“Look, here’s the deal, daddy-o. I don’t think you have the power to build a domain here like I did. So… your options are pretty limited. Go through the gates or…”
“Or?” The fox prince said.
“Join the House of my master.” Hilbert said.
The fox prince looked at the vampire clown.
“Can I guess who your master is?” The fox prince said.
“You can.”
The fox prince guessed, and the clown smiled.
“Maybe you’re not so thick after all.” Hilbert said.
“If that was the case, I wouldn’t be dead.” The fox prince said and shook his head: “Tell your master that I am flattered. I really am but my answer is no.”
“I thought it might be.” Hilbert said and threw his cigarette away: “Well… shit. Not much to say after that, is there?”
“No. Besides, goodbye.” The fox prince said and nodded at Hilbert: “Farewell, Hilbert of Osetaria.”
Hilbert curtsied at him.
“So long, Your Savage Highness. Thanks for not rubbing your ass on the nice carpet.”
He left the clown behind and started walking towards the black gates. The carnival had been too big for him to run out of but now that he was walking towards the black gate, he had left it behind before he knew it. The carnival had existed in a perpetual summer day but while he approached the black gate, the sun began setting and day turned into a dim evening. The day had been long, but it was finally time to rest.
The staircase to the gates was long and the more climbed them, the wider the gates opened. Behind it was only warm darkness. The kind you could sleep in forever. Free of pain. Free of memories of lost love. Free to rest. He was so close. All he had to do was…
“Prince!”
The shout made the gates slam shut before him and cleared the fox prince’s head. When he looked down, he saw Old Badger running towards him two or three steps at a time. But she wasn’t old anymore. It took him a moment to realize the years had been filed off her. Whenever he looked at her, he saw the bold, pretty girl he had met all those decades ago. Her hair was the color of chestnuts again and her face smooth.
“… Badger?”
She caught his snout in her arms and hugged his head. She held him for a long time and the fox prince closed his eyes and just enjoyed her warmth and touch.
“… is this a dream?” The fox prince asked.
“No. Thank the heavens… I thought I’d never see you again.” Old Badger said.
“You… came for me…”
Old Badger pulled back and smiled at him.
“Of course. I made a promise, didn’t I? That I’d drag you back from the dead if it came down to it.” Old Badger said before grinning and pointing into the dimness: “See that? I did it. I went where there is no Path and left a trail.”
He could see them now. Old Badger’s footprints in the darkness that glowed like fireflies in the night. They were a lighthouse that would guide the lost souls home.
“I can see the way back.” The fox prince said.
Old Badger rubbed him under the jaw.
“Then what are we waiting for? Let’s leave this place and…”
The creaking of the gate drowned out her words and when Old Badger looked at the black gate, she sighed and rubbed her chest.
“Well… isn’t this just typical?” Old Badger said.
“… Badger?”
Old Badger was quiet for a moment. Then she smiled with tears in her eyes.
“My prince… I am sorry but… you will have to go back without me. A heart has only so many ticks and… mine just ran out of them.”
It took a moment before he could bring himself to accept what he had heard. Then came the horror. He let out a terrified howl full of pain.
“No!”
He grabbed Old Badger’s shirt with his teeth and tried to pull her away from the gate.
“No! No! No! I won’t let you go! Get on my back! I will get you out of here! I can see the way out! I can still take you home!”
“… prince…”
“Where you go, I go! We’ve been through worse! Just hold on and we can escape this place! Together!”
“… my prince…”
He fought and struggled but his strength was quickly waning.
“… Badger… please… don’t… don’t go… don’t go where I can’t follow. I love you so please… stay… Stay with me. Don’t leave me alone…”
Soon he was a spent force and could only rest his head on Old Badger’s shoulder, begging her not to go. Old Badger took his head in her paws and kissed his snout.
“I love you too, my prince. You made my life an adventure.”
He couldn’t fight or even speak anymore. Just cry in her arms.
“… together… let’s go together. Whatever is behind that gate… let’s find out together. It can be another adventure.” The fox prince said.
Old Badger hesitated and looked at the gate calling to her. It was terrifying to jump into the unknown alone but if she had company…
“We could… but we can’t. A monster is coming and a hero… a hero can’t help but rise to meet it.” Old Badger said.
The fox prince shook his head.
“Haven’t we done enough? Can’t we just… let it be? Let someone else take care of it?”
Old Badger didn’t answer and just looked at him with her brown eyes. All she had to do was look at him for him to understand. It had never been about what was fair. Life wasn’t fair. That’s why people had to be which meant that… even when a fight was unjust you had to get up and keep fighting. Especially when it was unjust.
“… Badger… my love… my mate…”
“My prince…”
“… my Princess of the Quiet…”
He licked her cheek and rested his snout on her head for one last time. Just having her near made him stronger. Braver. So many times, he had been ready to give up but… he had kept fighting because giving up would have meant letting her down. He had loved her and wanted to be the man she saw him as.
When he pulled away and looked at her, his eyes and mind were clear.
“Let’s meet again. In the Green Lands.” The fox prince said.
Old Badger smiled.
“I will see you there. Now go while… I can still be wise and heroic.”
After taking in her scent, the fox prince turned around and began running along the trail Old Badger had left for him. Towards the first circle and the land of the living. He never looked back. He knew if he did, he would never be strong enough to not follow Old Badger into the great unknown. Even when the gate shut close behind Old Badger, he never looked back and just let out a sorrowful howl that would have made the stars weep. With tears running down his face he ran until he came to the edge of the third circle and leapt over it.
He fell.
.
.
.
Sal woke up with a pain in his chest, even worse than the agony on his missing foot.
“… Sal?”
Hearing his name brought Sal back to his senses and when he looked up, he saw Cassio, Nuncio and Little Ant looking at him with terror and hope.
And in his arms… was Old Badger.
Death had robbed all warmth and wisdom from her pretty face and left behind just this… husk. He looked at the lifeless face and waited… prayed that Old Badger had one more miracle left in her. That at any moment she would spring back to life and hold him.
But there were no more miracles for that night and finally Sal closed her unseeing eyes with trembling fingers.
“… grandmother?” Little Ant whispered.
Sal leaned down and kissed the lined forehead.
“Blessing of the Wild… upon your final journey.” Sal murmured in his dead mate’s ear.
Then he started crying. Little Ant threw back her head and wept. Snot and tears ran down their faces. Their crying infected Cassio and Nuncio and soon they were all crying and holding each other. With the little time they had, they mourned the passing of Old Badger.