The capital of Riknear is awash with celebration. Colourful banners hang from house to house, all made of bright and expensive fabrics. Some are even woven with stripes or embroidered with thoughtful messages, exclaiming prosperity and well wishes to the thousands of people walking beneath them. Musicians stand at every corner, playing similar tunes of victory and merriment. Although conversation and laughter near drowns out the music, groups of dancers still form around each player. The festival is not as large as it was last year – when the people were celebrating the Queen's second marriage – but it is no less picturesque, no less joyous.
Watching from her window, Kaiya wishes the joy were as contagious as it looks. She wishes she could feel anything but exhausted at the thought of joining the hustle and bustle below.
The New Crown Celebration is just so... complicated.
It was her grandmother's idea – although she claimed every year it came from the people themselves. A day that royals and nobles walk amongst commoners like equals. A reminder to all of the Great Queen's humble origins, a celebration of the day she defeated the Emperor and took the throne.
An elaborate excuse for her grandmother to ignore her crown for a day.
Kaiya understands the woman's desire. Mists, she wouldn't have met her wife if she hadn't been desperately avoiding her duties. It just seems so strange to have a holiday dedicated to the practice. No matter the anniversary.
Or perhaps she's just looking for any excuse to dislike the celebration beyond her complicated relationship with her grandmother. With the entirety of her family.
"You look like you're thinking rather hard, My Queen." The voice is soft, clearly mindful of her distracted state, but it startles Kaiya all the same. She turns to find a plump, dark haired woman not bothering to hide her amusement. Amelia is dressed simply – as is the day's tradition – in a blue surcoat with lacing up the sides and a chemise with only a touch of embellishment. It's a warm day – or at least Kaiya would argue so – and yet her wife is clearly wearing multiple petticoats. She does so like when her dresses can twirl.
"I am trying not to think at all." Kaiya admits with a sigh, leaning up to kiss Amelia's cheek. Her wife's face softens, amusement vanishing entirely, as she rests her hands on Kaiya's waist.
"Would you like to talk about it?" She asks and Kaiya sighs again, letting her head drop against Amelia's shoulder.
"What is there to discuss? That my family is a broken mess does not matter when my Grandmother overthrew a tyrant." Kaiya mumbles with a bitterness she usually buries.
"Of course it matters." Amelia assures, pressing a kiss to the top of Kaiya's head. "We don't have to actually go out, you know. The whole point of the festival is blending in, no one would be able to prove we didn't attend." Kaiya lets out a soft laugh. It's a tempting thought.
Unfortunately, "my father would make too much of a fuss." She points out. "Besides, it is my duty." To appear, to look put together, to not run away from the things that make her feel small.
"That's alright, I've been looking for a new reason to argue with your father." That gets a near full bodied laugh from the tired Queen. Her father is always so awkward around Amelia. He never approved of Kaiya taking a 'common' wife but he refuses to appear anything less then united with his daughter. He struggles to interact within the contradiction and Amelia certainly has fun backing him into corners.
Kaiya's amusement dies. Safely tucked from view against the fabric of Amelia's surcoat, her mouth drops into a frown. It's always about appearances with them, isn't it? The truth has always been a shameful stain that needs covering. Even when her mother died, and her grandfather, and when her brother ran away, and her husband got sick, and-
"My love." Amelia pulls Kaiya from her spiralling thoughts, gently guiding her head back so their eyes can met. "We don't have to go out. We can do whatever you would like." Amelia has brilliant eyes, it's what first drew Kaiya in. Those beautiful brown eyes that never hide a thing. Every emotion and thought displayed so clearly. Kaiya has never managed to be so transparent but she tries, at least when they're alone.
"It is alright." She says and hopes her own eyes express that it's the truth. "The kids have been looking forward to this." Amelia holds her gaze for a little longer, her mouth set in focus and her eyes narrowed slightly. When she's found the confirmation she needs, she nods and presses a quick peck to Kaiya's lips.
"Well in that case, you should go convince your son to get dressed. He's being an absolute nightmare for the dress maid." Amelia states. As she steps away, she takes Kaiya's hand and twirls her.
"Of course he is." Kaiya sighs – a lighter kind of sigh this time – as she steps out of the twirl and past Amelia towards the bedroom's entrance, holding her wife's hand as long as she's able. "Are you sure Eve did not put him up to it?" Amelia gasps, her skirts whipping as she turns and raises her hand to her chest in mock offence.
"Why I never." She exclaims in her most ridiculous posh impression. "My perfect angel of a daughter would never cause any chaos."
"You're mistaking your daughter for your son." Kaiya points out and feels the familiar bubble of joy when Amelia laughs.
"At least we have one child that listens to us." Her wife says. "Good luck with Tai, I need to find some pants, Eve is refusing to wear her dress." Amelia adds as Kaiya reaches the door, proving the five year old is being as stubborn as her step-brother after all. Kaiya can only shake her head fondly, stepping into the castle hall.
♕♕♕
"Your majesty." The young dress maid curtsies low as Kaiya enters her son's room. "My apologies, we will not be another moment." She claims, not able to entirely erase the frustration from her voice. Looking around the room, Kaiya finds Tai sitting firmly on his bed in his underclothes. His small arms are crossed tight over his chest and his black hair is an absolute mess. Part of his outfit for the day – a loose pair of black pants, and a well-worn belt – is crinkled on the table while the tunic – brown with simple silver embroidery – has been thrown to the floor. This poor girl isn't likely to force Tai into those any time soon.
"It is not a worry." Kaiya assures. "Allow me to take over, I have finished my tasks for the day and it is well past time you joined the festivities."
"Are, are you sure, your majesty?" The girl double checks, eyeing the unworn clothes anxiously.
"Of course." Kaiya confirms, ensuring her smile is open and kind as she speaks. "Enjoy your celebration." The girl hesitates a moment more before smiling. With another curtsy, and many thanks, the servant quickly leaves the room.
"I don't want to wear it." Tai huffs, not shifting in his spot.
"Is it uncomfortable?" Kaiya asks, retrieving the tunic and checking the fabric as she does. Despite it's simpler design, it's made of the same high quality cotton as the rest of his clothes.
"No, it's ugly!" Tai claims, glaring at the tunic like it's a personal offence.
"It is hardly ugly." Kaiya argues although she doesn't care for clothing the same way Amelia and Tai do. She's not sure where the boy got his taste for fashion – her late husband certainly didn't have one – but she's glad the two have something in common.
"I like my other tunics more." Tai doubles down, crossing his arms even tighter across his chest.
"They are nice shirts." Kaiya concedes, taking a seat next to him on the bed. The mattress dips and Tai rushes to stabilise himself, recrossing his arms and legs. Kaiya doesn't let her amusement show on her face, no matter how cute she thinks he is. "Which is why you can't wear them."
"Why not?" The boy whines, pouring harder as if that's all it will take for his mother to give in. Perhaps on a different day it would be, but their appearances matter.
"Today has a very special meaning." Kaiya begins as simply as she can, trying to ignore all the nuances that make this day so complicated for her. "Your great-grandmother was born a commoner but despite that, she was brave enough to stand against the Emperor. This celebration is a promise to our people that we remember her roots and we will never abuse our status as the Emperor did."
"We wear ugly clothes as a promise we'll be nice?" Tai rephrases. He doesn't glare when he looks at the tunic this time, but he does scrunch up his nose.
"Something like that." Kaiya says. She supposes that's as good an understanding as a five year old can have of the situation.
"Can't I just say I promise?" Tai bargains. "I'll really, really mean it." Kaiya tries but she can't help the way her mouth twitches in amusement.
"Not everyone can hear what you say, but they can always see what you do." Tai's face scrunches up again, this time in thought as he considers Kaiya's words. Eventually, the young prince lets out a dramatic sigh. It's something he's learnt from Amelia, and yet there's something about it that so thoroughly reminds her of his father it almost hurts.
"Okay." Tai agrees. "I'll wear the ugly clothes."
"Thank you." Kaiya kisses the top of his head. "Let's hurry, or all the sweet rolls will be gone when we get there." Maybe she should have led with that, Kaiya thinks to herself with a chuckle as Tai races to get ready. He even puts on the brown overcoat.
♕♕♕
The festival is just as grand from the ground as it was the window, perhaps even grander. It's certainly louder and busier. Kaiya stays close to Amelia's side, keeping her eyes on the children as best she can. It's as difficult as keeping her paranoia from spilling onto her face. They spend the early afternoon exploring the stalls of foods and local goods, dancing to the music flowing through the street, watching the children become immersed by storytellers, and striking conversations with the people. Despite their simple clothes, few mistake the royal family for anything less but there is a loosening of protocol, an unspoken permission to treat them as honoured guests instead of untouchables. Every moment reminds Kaiya of why she enjoyed New Crowning Day as a child, why she still enjoys it.
And yet every second the children aren't in her sight, part of her thinks they are dying.
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"Things were so much easier when Tai was small enough to tuck against my chest." She says, trying to hide the stress she knows is unreasonable. What could possibly happen to them here? It is a Mist free day and Queen Knight Wilmont has been specifically tasked with helping watch them. Kaiya would prefer to have a fourth – a fifth, a tenth – set of eyes on the children but her father feared they would look paranoid.
That she is paranoid is a moot point.
"I do regret the day Eve learnt to walk." Amelia laments with Kaiya, squeezing her hand tightly to offer what subtle support she can.
"Chaos bringers the both of them." Kaiya jokes, hoping that laughter will chase away her intrusive thoughts. It does not. Amelia does not tell her the children are fine – they both know it's not a logical fear – but she does pull her wife towards the jewellery stall that caught Kaiya's eye before the children rushed ahead.
"I'm sure Lady Wilmont will manage a few minutes alone." She says before Kaiya can suggest they follow the children. Kaiya hesitates, eyeing the crowded street. She can just see the kids among the mess and she can more clearly see Lady Wilmont watching them. Her worries are unreasonable, she reminds herself.
"Just a few minutes." Kaiya agrees. Smiling, Amelia finally turns to the items displayed before them.
"Mum!" Tai shouts before Kaiya can look and her heart stops – until she looks back to see her son running towards her with a wide grin. Of course he's fine, why would he be anything but? Eve is half a step behind her step-brother. The bun her curly black hair has been pulled up into has survived the day better than usual, although the same can't be said about the dirt dusting her dark pants and cream tunic. Their eldest is much calmer in his return, walking quickly besides Lady Wilmont. El's short, dark curls are tucked neatly under his cap and the bag at his belt is full of sweets he doesn't think they noticed him buy.
"Hello sweetheart." Kaiya smiles down as Tai all but runs into her legs, keeping her relief subtle as she rests her hands on his shoulders.
"There's someone selling tarts at the flower garden!" Eve yells excitedly when she reaches them.
"Can we go mum? Can we?" Tai asks.
"We're on own way to the flower garden now." Kaiya reminds.
"But we wanna go now, now." Tai whines, leaning back to look up at her properly. "Not after we walk around the gardens." Kaiya hesitates, looking to Amelia. Her wife has only barely started browsing the stall. The children would be safe, they'll only be a few minutes behind and Lady Wilmont will be with them. And yet the idea of the three walking so far ahead fills her with anxiety.
"How about we look at the jewellery first and then we can head straight to the tarts?" She tries directing Tai's attention to the stall they're standing at.
"But jewellery is booooring." Tai says. He leans further back, all his weight hanging off her legs and pulls out the big, pleading yellow eyes that Kaiya has trouble saying no to. She'll be ruined when he's old enough to figure that out. "Pleeeease mum. We'll go right there, we promise!" Eve's expression is equally pleading and excited but El's is more subdued. Subtly hopeful. It's that that truly does her in. To Eve, Kaiya is just her stepmother but El is old enough to understand that she is a Queen. Old enough to understand the judgement and the sneers he gets for being a merchants son risen so far above his station. He never dares ask for anything.
They'll be fine, Kaiya reminds herself. There's no hint of Mist, it's the busiest day of the year, and Lady Wilmont will be with them. They'll be fine.
"Okay." She finally relents and the youngest two cheer. "But make sure you stay together, and stay with Lady Wilmont." Kaiya instructs, fingers twitching to reach out when Tai steps away.
"We will!" Tai and Eve yell in unison, already turning to run off.
"I'll keep an eye on them, my Queen." Lady Wilmont assures. Kaiya offers a smile, knowing that if she tries to speak she'll ruin any pretence of calm.
"Thank you ma-am!" El says, stumbling over his title for her. That's alright, it's better than it was a year ago when El refused to call her anything but your majesty.
"Have fun." Kaiya says before he too joins his siblings in rushing ahead. She watches the four disappear and tries to convince herself she made the right call. They'll be fine.
"I'm proud of you." Amelia smiles, pressing a quick kiss to Kaiya's cheek. Kaiya forces another smile on her face and turns to the jewellery she hadn't had a chance to look at. Her eye almost immediately catches on a jade necklace. The gem isn't overly large but it's flat and oval shaped.
The perfect size for etching a rune.
"That's not your usual style." Amelia comments when Kaiya picks it up to examine it.
"Do you think it will fit the royal rune?" Kaiya asks then catches her lip on her teeth. She shouldn't have said that so loudly. Amelia seems startled as well, then she smiles warmly.
"I think so." She nods after checking the size of the jade. "El would like that."
"I hope so. It's the same colour as his eyes." Kaiya says softly. Carving the Royal protective rune is... non-traditional. It's usually tattooed, but her father is against the royal step-children being granted the honour and Amelia doesn't like the idea of putting her children through even the lesser Noble rune before they're old enough to understand. El has noticed the difference and Kaiya has been anxiously searching for a solution, one she thinks she's just found.
Much of her anxiety has faded once they leave the stall, jade necklace and a few other pieces in hand. It's still there but it's curbed by the joy of her purchase. The knowledge she'll have another layer of protection on one of her children.
Still, it could be argued Kaiya rushes towards the garden stalls. If Amelia notices – and she surely does – she doesn't say anything.
The garden is quieter than the streets. People stroll through the well-designed flower beds or sit at the tables laid out for them. There's only a handful of food stalls and it's easy to spot the popular tart display. Soon after Kaiya spots Lady Wilmont standing guard at a table.
A table with only one occupant.
"Where are the boys?" Kaiya asks, eyes darting around and speed increasing.
"I'm sure they're nearby." Amelia says, although she doesn't sound so certain. "Eve doesn't look worried." She doesn't, the young girl is happily eating a red tart and kicking her feet in her chair.
"Lady Wilmont does." Kaiya barely keeps her expression neutral as she finally reaches the table. Lady Wilmont bows her head slightly, her lips tilted a little further down then usual.
"My Queen." She starts, tone careful. "I... I wasn't able to keep track of all three royal children."
"What do you mean?" Kaiya asks, harsher and quicker than she means to. Wilmont hesitates and it only increases her fear. Wilmont is not usually so careful with her words. She doesn't need to be, they've been friends for years.
"Princess Evelyn tripped. As I was helping her up, Prince Tai ran off. I tried to call him back but he had already disappeared into the crowd." Kaiya can feel her hands starting to shake. Something's happened, something bad. She's certain of it. Why did she let them go ahead?
"And El?" Amelia prompts Wilmont, placing a steadying hand on Kaiya's shoulder.
"He ran after Prince Tai, intent on bringing him back." Lady Wilmont explains. "I came here to meet with yourselves, and in hopes they would head this way as well." But they haven't, she doesn't say. She doesn't need to. It's fairly obvious.
"Take a deep breath my love." Amelia says softly, squeezing Kaiya's shoulder tighter.
"I can't." Kaiya claims, voice tight and breath unsteady. Where are they? Are they alright? Of course they're not alright!
"We'll begin a search immediately." Lady Wilmont says. "I've already sent a messenger to the barracks."
"Of course." Kaiya says. "Where did you see them? We'll go there now."
"Love, I think you should take Eve home." Amelia suggests.
"I'm not about to sit around and do nothing!" Kaiya snaps, barely remembering to keep her voice low.
"Eve needs someone to take her home." Amelia points out then, more gently and quietly, she adds, "and you're on the verge of a panic attack."
"Sitting in a room waiting won't help." Kaiya argues.
"Neither will searching a crowd aimlessly." Amelia claims. "You'll cause a panic."
Right.
Because Kaiya is Queen. It would not do well for the people see their Queen in a panic. Especially today.
"Right." She says quietly, forcing all emotion from her face and voice. "You will stay, won't you? And look?"
"Of course." Amelia is not as conspicuous as Kaiya – not yet at least – and she handles stress much better. "As will the Queen Knights."
"Okay." Kaiya forces herself to say. "Eve, let's head home and went for the boys there."
"Do we have to? I wanted to see more of the gardens." Eve complains, tart crumbs coating her chin.
"It's time to head home sweetheart." Amelia says. "Be good for your ma, okay? And hold her hand. No running off." Her voice is uncharacteristically firm as she says the last part. Enough so that Eve jumps up with no further arguments, taking Kaiya's outstretched hand.
They walk back to the castle, Kaiya keeping her head down in hopes no one will see their queen on the verge of tears.
♕♕♕
Amelia is gone for hours.
Kaiya spends them pacing the sitting room considering every horrible thing that could possible have happened to Tai and El. Or be happening. Eve plays quietly by the fire with Lady Jana – Kaiya's personal Knight who was meant to have the day off – both very clearly in sight. Kaiya knows she should be holding it together, knows that she is scaring Eve.
She continues to pace.
"This is unbecoming behaviour of a Queen, Kaiya." Her father doesn't take long to comment, looking up from his thick tome as though she is a child making a fuss over a doll and not a concerned parent.
"My behaviour is perfectly normal." Kaiya snaps, unable to keep her anger in check any better than her fear. "My sons are missing!"
"They'll be found, you're fretting over nothing." Dermott claims without a hint of assurance in his tone. He turns back to his book, pushing his glasses up to sit better over his blue eyes.
"Pierce didn't!" Kaiya reminds and her father stops, lips pressing into a thin line. With a sigh, he turns back to her once more. It infuriates her how put together he appears when she feels she is unravelling. Not a single hair on his greyed head is out of place.
"Your brother is fine, he was simply unwilling to do his duty. A missing child hardly calls for such a ridiculous reaction. Not from a Queen." The man states as coldly as he did the day he told her Pierce was gone. Kaiya didn't understand her fathers reaction back then, she understands it even less now that she has children of her own.
"Right now I am mother before I am a Queen." Kaiya spits. There will be times she has to put her duty above her family. This is not one of them. Her father sighs and opens his mouth, likely to give her a lecture, but Lady Jana speaks first.
"We should call for some tea, and some snacks." She declares. "Should help the nerves."
It does not. But at least it ends the fight.
For hours Kaiya paces, Eve plays, and Dermott reads. Eve falls asleep, Dermott has a servant bring him another book, Kaiya paces.
Amelia finally walks into the room and Kaiya's heart sinks into her stomach. Her wife wears her heart on her sleeve, anyone can tell from her face how she is feeling.
The search did not go well.
"The boys?" Kaiya asks quietly, as if whispering would make it any less real.
"We found El." Amelia reveals, stepping inside to reveal the boy in question. "I... it might be best if you explain what happened dear." Kaiya looks down to their eldest and her heart breaks. He looks a mess, dried tears coating his face and his hat completely missing. She sinks to her knees and tries to put on a kind expression.
"What happened El?" She says.
"I didn't know she was a bad woman!" El explains breaking out into sobs and Kaiya's heart shatters. A woman? "I-I-I was chasing af-ter Tai b-because you said we-we had to s-stay together b-b-but he ran off. But Tai, Tai's really really fast. It took for-forever to c-catch up with him. And w-when I did, h-he was with a woman w-with white hair and, and he was s-sleeping on her sh-shoulders. I th-thought m-maybe she was a k-knight and taking T-tai home, but when, when I called out she l-looked at m-me and just kept, kept walking. I-I tried to f-follow but I lo-lost them at the g-gate." El manages his story through sobs but Kaiya hardly hears the details.
Tai wasn't tired when she saw him. There's no reason he should have fallen asleep.
"I-I-I'm really, really sorry I-I d-didn't mean to lo-lose him!" El adds as tears start to roll down Kaiya's cheeks.
Tai was with a woman. A woman with white hair.
"You're not in trouble baby." Amelia assures, kneeling down to El's height. "You did nothing wrong."
"Come here." Kaiya forces herself to say, holding her arms out for El. He immediately rushes into them, sobbing against the Queen's shoulder as she holds him tight. "I'm so glad you're okay." She whispers into his hair, kissing the top of his head. Amelia joins them, holding them both until El has cried himself to sleep and the tear tracks have dried on Kaiya's face.
"We have to send a search party." The Queen states. "He, he could still be alive."
"No." Her father refuses immediately. "If we do that, the people will assume it's the Witch and we'll have a riot on our hands."
"It was the Witch!" Kaiya shouts. El shifts in her arms and she forces herself to speak quieter as she continues. "Who else could it have been father?"
"It doesn't matter who it was." Her father argues. "It only matters what the people believe. We can't have them thinking the Witch was brave enough to enter the capital. They'll be terrified! And where will they go? There is no where safer then the capital."
"Then what are we meant to do?" Amelia asks, voice breaking half way through. "We have to try and find him."
"We will be subtle." Dermott states. "We will tell the people the Prince is sick and we will send the Queen's Knights to look for him. Although it's unlikely Tai is even still-"
"Don't." Kaiya stops him before he can say it, the tears pooling in her eyes once more. "Don't say it. He has to be alive. He has to be." She says, she prays, she begs.
"We'll find him Kaiya." Amelia promises, holding her tighter. "No matter how long it takes, we'll find him."