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Preaching a Lie
1: Space Hermits

1: Space Hermits

"HWAA! *cough* *cough* ugh, man. I could have sworn I just di-",

the worlds got caught in my mouth as I finally took in my surroundings...

So I'm in space now?

...

What?

"Ah, Clive. Good of you to drop by.", an overly amused- cynical sounding voice sounded out directly behind me. I turned to look towards the source.

White hair? Check.

Looks old? Check.

Lives floating I space? Check.

...

Ugh. I new I shouldn't have gone to that blasted wedding. "This may sound crazy to you but am I safe in assuming you are god.", I gingerly asked the suspected divine individual.

He smirked at me, "I suppose I am, Clive.",

"Are you sure though? Are you really, really sure? I don't want the priests down there on that blue rock to be right. Are you sure your not just a space hermit?", I probed the smirking gentleman.

"I am god, Clive. The creator and all that. You know, created the world in seven days.",

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"But- I'm pretty sure hermits are delusional. I'm not too sure about space hermits but I reckon the shrooms you get access to up here are as just if not more potent!",

Hang on a moment, there might be even more of these homeless cosmic junkies around here I better keep my wits about me.

"You want some proof I'm not some recluse Darth Vader then? What would be good enough proof, Clive? I want to get this over with quickly.",

I looked at the self-claimed god and with suspicion asked him to do the first godly seeming thing I could think of. "Make me a millionaire!",

'God' looked at me funnily for saying that. "Er- Clive... You do realise that you died by getting hit by that truck.",

"Yeah. Now make me a millionaire if you're so high and mighty!",

"You could have literally told me to do anything...", the old space bum mumbled to himself.

"There. Done. You are now a millionaire. Are you happy now?",

I don't have any way of actually checking though. Ah- well, at least my dad will be rich now.

"Yes, perfectly happy. So then 'god', what happens next then?",

"Yes~ well you see I have had a bit of trouble on one of my test worlds recently and I just used the most ironic soul on hand to deal with it.",

I don't like where this is going...

"So I'm going to send you there to go and promote my religion okay?",

"Fuck no! I'm not going to promote some shitty re-",

Suddenly a bright beam of light filled my vision and the next thing I knew I was out cold.

----------------------------------------

"This is why I hate atheists." God said as he made a massage chair appear behind him and a pot of space shrooms big enough to last him until the next judgment day.

God smiled to himself as he took a good puff of his space shroom spliff.

"Good look Clive... You're gonna need it, mwah ha ha ha!",