It was my turn to be looking at everyone dumbfounded for a moment before I could respond, "Y'all, I'm not sure what ideas you've got in yer head, but we are not a united species. Earth's got like 208 sovereign nations, and I promise y'all, sure as shootin', we're fightin' each other somewhere in the world right now."

Marila blinked, and her face read that I'd just told her that the sun rose in the west, "That makes no sense! You're this advanced, and you haven't unified?! I unified my planet, and we don't have half the advances your species boasts!"

Val came walking over, drying her hair with a spare sweater, "Um, did I walk in on something?"

I was scrambling, trying to figure out how to explain, "Look, humans didn't all advance together. Our planet has tons of impediments to that. First off, three-quarters of it's water, last I remember learnin', but it ain't just that. We've got seven continents, scattered islands all over the place, and natural barriers that cut us off from each other. So everyone just, sorta, came up on their own 'til we started runnin' into each other again. We had language barriers, as well, over time."

Azoccu's eyes narrowed, "Seven continents? My world has but two. I'm not sure about the rest of you."

Everyone was now starting to get in on it, and it wouldn't get explained at all, "Look, okay, let's back the train up a minute: On 'bout... sixty-five million years ago, Earth only had the one continent, which we call Pangea if I'm rememberin' right. Humans weren't even a thing yet, but an asteroid struck our planet, a big one, and it caused what's called a tectonic shift, if'n I'm rememberin' high school right. The continent broke apart, and started driftin', til we're where we're at now. There was a ton o' smoke and shit that got into the sky, caused an ice age, and it's outta it that humans evolved."

Marila was weighing everything I said, but she seemed to believe me, "And when did humans evolve?"

"Well, if YouTube's to be believed, we showed up 'bout two hundred fifty thousand years ago, but it'd be a while 'fore we really got off the ground. Got to talkin' roundabout fifty thousand years after that, and if was off to the races," I shrugged, not really sure if they would understand the sheer amount of time involved.

"Your entire species is only a quarter of a million years old? My species predates you by close to a million years, and we're nowhere near you technologically," Marila wasn't even arguing now, just assessing, measuring, and counting.

I shrugged, "Look, y'all, I'm not an expert on this. I know what I was taught in school, and Val's got me beat on that note, on account o' actually goin' t'college. We're gettin' away from the point. Earth ain't nearly united, we've been fightin' each other for our whole history, and yeah, we'll mostly link up on the alien thing, but we'll still also be fightin' each other, not even just militarily."

Azoccu came back in, his tail swishing back and forth, "What sort of fighting will your people engage in aside from military conquest?"

"I mean, we literally have professional fighters. Boxing, Martial Arts, UFC, various styles of wrestlin', shootin' competitions, hell, cookin' competitions are a common thing on Earth," Might as well mention the not hurting people stuff, "And then we'll compete at video games, survival games. Once watched a couple o' army buddies o' mine work out how to play an advanced strategy game in the middle of the desert with rocks for pieces, and whatever leftover stuff they had around camp."

Trayg laughed, "I like these humans... wait, how do you compete at cooking?"

Val smiled and took her moment to step in, "Well, it depends. In something like a cook-off, everyone's making the same dish, but it's about who can make it better than the other competitors. Then you have competitions where all the contestants get a group of ingredients to use, and it's not only about cooking well but who can make the best use of the ingredients, the most inventive dish.

"I used to compete, myself. I was an athlete, and good enough to be heading to the Olympics if I hadn't gotten pregnant in college. I competed in a broad spectrum of events called Track and Field. This included one hundred, two hundred, and three hundred meter sprints, hurdles at one hundred and ten meters, and relay races where we run to hand off a baton to our teammate, who takes over running to the next teammate. Then you've got longer races, eight hundred meters, fifteen hundred meters, on up. Then there's the high jump, long jump, triple jump, pole vault. Then we have throwing competitions with javelin throws, hammer toss, discus, and shot put. I was really good and javelin and hammer toss," Val looked wistfully into the night.

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Marila jumped in, "That's... a lot of competitions for just this... Olympics."

"Oh, I'm not done. Then there's the marathon, a 26-mile run. And finally, the decathlon, and heptathlon. I wanted to be the first woman to officially compete in the decathlon. It's ten of those events, essentially back-to-back. And that is one Olympic category. There are dozens more events, with the greatest athletes from all over the world competing against one another, to see who the best is. There isn't even really a cash prize, it's all for the prestige. And none of that covers the stuff that goes on in the Winter Olympics-- OOH, I know something!"

Val called up Annabelle and asked her to bring up the footage of the gold medal-winning performance for pairs figure skating from the last Olympics. Annabelle shrugged, and put up the video. Marila watched two humans, in the middle of the Olympic stadium, and showed everyone as they executed their performance. At first, Azzocu sniggered, then, eventually, he was watching with rapt attention like everyone else about a minute in, when the male performer sent his female companion spinning into the air while moving, effortlessly directing her back onto her feet as she came back down. Shin was the first to speak, "Wait... when you kicked me, were you holding back?!"

"Uh, yeah, I didn't want to injure you, just get you to stop fighting me," She looked sheepishly at him as she said it.

"I've never been hit that hard in my entire life," and Shin hopped off, taking some leftover snacks with him.

Hoda finally decided to join the conversation, if only briefly, "I am one of strongest of the women in my species, and I... could not do that. How long do they train for this?"

Val looked her in the eyes, tearing up a bit, "Our whole lives, to get even one chance to stand in that stadium."

I was startled when my wristband beeped, and when I hit the button, it wasn't Annabelle, but Ravazh'Tik who came up, "Survivor Keith, we need to have a private word."

The message cut off, and my Privacy Mode engaged, with a little infinity symbol where the countdown clock was, "Whelp, apparently, our esteemed host wants a word. This'll be fun. Val, can you finish up the questions and answers, please? You're doin' a way better job than me at it anyway."

I headed off, touching Hearth lightly on the arm as I passed his dormant form, and down toward the waterfall, until I heard the beep again, and hit the button. Ravazh'Tik was there, but it was different. He was in an office of some kind, his own I'd imagine, and he didn't have the usual screens going behind him. His entire demeanor had shrunk, "May we dispense with the veneers we wear for the show?"

I smirked, "I'm game if you are."

He did catch the joke, and gave a little alien laugh, "Your species has diverted the games a great deal, and apparently, you are preparing to do so more, and now, species are approaching you, rather than you having to go out to convince them of your intentions.

"I applaud you, humans. Truly. No species that we have known in the history of our dominion has shown the short of cleverness, or determination you humans have. The Emperor has taken notice of you."

I waited for the tacked-on bit, but it didn't come, "And what does the Emperor want?"

"Ravazh'Tik sat back, "To relieve your burden. He is willing to declare humanity as the victors of Pre-Warp Survival on merit."

Val could go home. She could get back to Cassie, her daughter, and not still be trapped here. But... "What happens to the other species if we take the deal?"

"They will be taken over by the Kathrall Dominion, by the Emperor's command, but you-"

I shook my head, "No deal."

Ravazh'Tik exhaled, crossing his lower arms, laying one arm along the crossed ones, and stroked a hand over his face with the fourth. It wasn't a surprise, it was just inevitability, "I said you would respond as such when the Emperor spoke to me about this. He will ask why you would not take this deal. Your entire species ascended in one simple decision and you turn it down without hesitation."

"I gave my word, and I won't abandon them... but, what about a counteroffer?" I mean, in for a penny in for a pound, right?

Ravazh'Tik started laughing. Not the controlled, forced laughter I had seen previously during broadcasts, but genuine belly laughs. He even seemed to start doing whatever the Kathrall of honking is as he lost control, "A counteroffer, you say? Oh, I would LOVE to hear this one, Keith."

Time to bite down hard, "We stay in the game and you come up with three challenges for me. You can make 'em as hard your Emperor thinks is amenable for what I want for completing them: For each challenge, I want one species back from the Talesh, the Miggreen, and the Aqualians."

There was no laughter, no movement from the Game Master. He just sat there, staring at me for nearly a minute, before speaking again, "You really meant you would protect them all."

I took my arm out of the sling, and for the first time, properly stretched it, if slowly, "In one of the founding documents of my nation, it reads 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that chief among these rights are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness'. Now, most of my people wouldn't take it this far, but they ain't me. I will protect them all, I will find a way to beat your Emperor's game, and I will find a way to free the others your 'Dominion' has enslaved. This is my war, and it's done when I win, or when I draw my last breath."