Charmander had not been alive for long, but he already knew what his purpose was. He was a starter Pokémon, and as such, he was going to help a trainer at the beginning of their journey and do anything they wished him to do.
He didn't know what kind of person would choose him, but all the breeding center staff and the laboratory scientists were incredibly nice to him, telling him he was special and had an important task ahead of him.
Charmander didn't know how strong he would be or how long he would stay with his partner, but he had resolved to try his best. Everyone was counting on him, after all.
As the Pokémon turned to the setting sun, a smile formed on his muzzle. His time would come any day now, and he had to be ready for it.
He moved to his corner of the Laboratory, aimed upwards and fired. A short tongue of fire popped out, disappearing soon after.
Charmander groaned, then tried again. The flame lasted a couple seconds longer.
The Charmander closed his eyes and focused, calling forth his powers again. It was going to be a long night.
Finally, the day had come. His friend and partner was there, and in a few seconds, he would meet them.
Even inside his Poké Ball, Charmander could barely contain his excitement. His best friend was waiting just outside. He wanted to know them and be free! Make friends and defeat enemies! Live the adventure he had dreamed so much about!
As Charmander daydreamed, his Ball grabbed and studied. The Fire-type grinned and prepared for the jump.
The Ball was tossed, and he jumped straight in the arms of a young brown-haired girl.
"Hello!" Charmander said, waving his arm. He knew not all humans spoke the Pokémon language, but he figured it was better to be polite.
"Aw, how cute!" The girl quickly snuggled and hugged him tightly, trading her warmth with Charmander's.
The old professor folded his arms and smiled at the two. "Do you want Charmander, then?"
"Absolutely!" The girl nodded. She beamed back at the starter. "I'm sure we will become great friends!"
Charmander grinned, arms raised. Their partnership was off to a good start.
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"Alright, let's move on!" His trainer pointed ahead as she marched and the spring breeze washed over her body. Charmander trotted right after her, beaming.
They hadn't interacted much and he hadn't even learned her name yet, but she was exactly how he wanted his trainer to be: fun, funny and joyful. Charmander felt an incredible energy as he walked alongside her, one that made him feel like he could do anything. Maybe it was something every trainer gave their Pokémon, but it was still something new and refreshing for him.
As the twosome walked through the beaten path, the girl looked up with a big smile on her face.
"What a great day to begin." She adjusted her hair, then kneeled beside Charmander, staring into the Pokémon's eyes. "I want to be the best Pokémon trainer around, but I can't do that alone. Can I count on you?"
Charmander nodded, showing off his claws.
"Great!" She pumped her fists. "Let's do our best then, partner! It's time to toughen up!"
They didn't do anything particularly special as they wandered through the tall grass. Fighting wild Pokémon, they laughed and smiled after every match, won or lost; a good smile was more important to them than being strong, and Charmander liked it.
After slashing his latest opponent away, Charmander rubbed the sweat off his face. He grinned and panted while his tail wagged around.
"And the Spearow is done for!" His trainer gave him a thumbs up. "Great job, Charmander!"
Charmander rubbed his neck, smiling sheepishly. The girl nodded and adjusted her clothes and bag, then glanced past the road and toward the city in the distance.
"Viridian shouldn't be too far from here. Let's try reaching it before nightfall, alright?"
Charmander nodded and walked by her side. The trainer giggled and rubbed his head. "I'm glad to know I can count on you."
The Fire-type blushed, turning the other way. His trainer let out a chuckle, and together the two traversed the beaten path.
The Pokémon inhaled, and a smile lit up his face. He gazed at the wide plains around them, and the few buildings and many mountains visible on the horizon.
His smile widened. There was so much that he didn't know, but his ignorance only made him eager to learn, experience and grow. That was his goal, his purpose, and his aim.
Together with his trainer, Charmander knew he would be invincible. Everything would've been a stepping stone in his path to glory!
A loud crack snapped Charmander out of his daydreams. He squinted and turned around his trainer, arms outstretched to protect her.
Behind the two, a Spearow stood. An injured, pained but still standing Spearow that glared daggers towards Charmander and his trainer.
"Oh, looks like someone wants a rematch." The trainer grinned, cracking her knuckles. "Well, we shouldn't let it wait, don't you think?"
Charmander growled as his tail flared up, then glared towards Spearow. His Ember welled up as he aimed.
Then he heard the caws.
Several, endless caws echoed around them. Charmander and his trainer turned around and froze.
There were Spearow. Over the trees, behind he bushes, alight and flying their way. They were five, ten, twenty, fifty, one-hundred. Charmander and his trainer quickly lost count, but one thing was clear: they were outnumbered, and all the flock wanted to get them.
A shiver ran down Charmander's spine. Then, he felt a warm hand pat his head.
He saw his trainer clenching her bag, failing to hide a grimace.
"Let's run."
That didn't bear repeating, and the two hightailed and dashed past the Spearow and towards Viridian City.
They ran, wheezing and panting as they kept up the pace through sheer adrenaline. Sweat poured down Charmander's face as his flame dimmed, and the Fire-type kept it up by sheer willpower. As he eyed his trainer, he saw she was just as tired, but no slower.
And thus they continued, even as their legs gave up and they were forced to slow down. They gasped for air, and Charmander glanced behind them, hoping that the Spearow flock had given up on them.
They didn't. If anything, they had only gotten faster and closer.
Charmander flinched, but shook his head and focused.
He held his ground and turned back to the Spearow flock, flames welling up in his mouth as he ran towards them.
His trainer halted too, terror drawn on her face.
"Charmander, no!"
He didn't listen, and instead blasted his Ember towards the Spearow.
All that came out was a short inkling of a flame, and nothing else.
Charmander froze in fear, and the Spearow took their chance.
They circled around Charmander, then dove for him.
Charmander tried to slash or fire another Ember, but the Spearow were too many.
Feeling their pecks all over his body and the Spearow's weight over him, Charmander screamed. He thrashed and yelled in primal fear as he tried his damnest to flee.
The Spearow kept pecking with more and more strength. Blood flew from his injuries and the screams only grew louder.
Charmander squinted his eyes shut as the pain became unbearable. He had failed, he needed to protect his trainer and now-
A loud yell, and then the pain ceased. Charmander hesitated, then opened his eyes to find his trainer's worried frown inches from his face as she stared at him.
A quick glance told him what happened: his trainer had screamed at the Spearow, and the flock had flown away from him.
Too bad they were aiming for her now.
He tried to stand up, but fell right after. He whimpered as he held his aching legs, the pain flaring up and coursing through his body.
"Charmander!" she yelled, rushing at his side. Above them, the Spearow circled again.
She glanced above and gulped. She clenched her fists and took a deep breath, palming a Poké Ball. Charmander's.
"I'm sorry." She aimed the Ball at him, a sad smile on her face. "I hope you will be safe."
Charmander gasped and shook his head, but it was too late.
He felt the recall beam engulfing him and everything went red. He felt the shivers down his spine as his trainer kept her smile up, the Spearow descending for her.
And then he felt nothing else.
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When inside a Poké Ball, the perception of time tends to be muddled. How much depends on the Pokémon: some can't act or even think inside it, while others are perfectly aware of what's going on outside, even being able to break free of their Poké Ball with the right internal shakes.
Charmander was somewhere in the middle. He had a vague idea of what was going on, but nothing more than that. He had no idea where he was or how much time had passed, the last thing in his mind being the Spearow flock coming straight at his trainer and-
The Fire-type winced, a shiver running down his spine. His trainer! She was in danger!
He hastily slammed over the walls and hoped to get the shooks right. The Poké Ball remained closed.
Charmander frowned, then elbowed it. Nothing changed.
He slashed and kicked over and over, until he could see the scratches forming on the featureless void. It still didn't open.
He screamed and aimed his fire while slamming on the wall, and then punched it and yelled at it. He had to leave! Now! He couldn't wait! His trainer needed him! He had to make it!
His prison remained shut.
Charmander kept going, and his screams slowly grew faint as he wheezed more often. He scratched and kicked even as the pain of the Spearow mixed in with his fatigue.
Please! Let me out! Let me-
His Poké Ball opened right as he lunged for another strike. The cold floor welcomed his face as he slid over it. All his pain flared out at once.
He looked back up, ignoring his injuries while he quickly identified the area. The pristine walls and the scary and complex-looking machinery reminded him of the breeding center.
"How are you feeling?"
Charmander sprung on his feet as he heard the female voice. He beamed and turned around, ready to hug his trainer-
And he stared at the pink-haired woman in a nurse outfit in confusion, while she stared back in concern.
"Poor thing, you received serious injuries." She hovered her hand above Charmander's wounds, then over his tail flame. She sent him a warm smile. "Don't worry, I will make sure you heal in no time!"
Charmander tilted his head, then looked around again. He and the woman were the only ones in the room.
As he turned back to her, the smile was gone. Charmander blinked, his tail flickering.
"You are looking for your trainer, right?"
Charmander nodded. She looked away, shook her head, and turned back to Charmander.
She didn't talk right away. As the silence hung over the room, Charmander's smile faltered as worry crawled under his skin.
"I'm sorry." The nurse sighed. "You have been inside your Poké Ball for about two weeks. We have no idea where your owner is."
And thus, Charmander's whole world crumbled away.
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Charmander didn't know what to say. He had been a trained Pokémon for less than a day, and yet their adventure was already over. He couldn't believe it.
He observed his paws, speechless. He had trained a lot. He was strong. Neither of the other two starters could hold a candle against him.
And yet he lost when it actually mattered. He failed the moment where he couldn't afford to fail.
He punched the wall behind him, tears welling into his eyes. He had ruined everything because he wasn't good enough.
The pink-haired woman- Nurse Joy, as Charmander had heard her being called- eyed him again before turning back to the videophone, talking with the Professor from Pallet Town.
"He's been acting this way ever since we gave him the news."
"It's understandable. Starter Pokémon mostly come from breeding centers and are instructed about their role as such." The old man rubbed his chin, studying Charmander. "I'm not surprised he's affected by Atrice Syndrome."
"Should I send it back to the laboratory?"
"I'm not sure that'd be the best solution. Plus, he'd probably be stuck here for a while until a new trainer that fits my standards will come." He sighed. "I think putting him up for adoption would be the best solution right now."
Nurse Joy nodded. "Alright, I will."
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'Adoption'. Charmander didn't like the sound of that word.
Nurse Joy took her time to explain everything in detail: apparently, he suffered from something called 'Atrice Syndrome', which meant that bad things would happen to him if he remained alone.
Once diagnosed, the Pokémon was registered in an online database, and its data published on the Pokémon Center Association's website. There, trainers could check if they were interested in owning a Pokémon, and by submitting a form online, they would be considered eligible to adopt, with the Nurse Joy in charge of the Pokémon having the final say on if the trainer's credentials and demeanor were appropriate for the adoptee.
He didn't understand everything, but he knew what it meant. A new trainer would pick him up.
As he sat on the desk of the Pokémon Center right next to Nurse Joy, he looked over his claws. He clenched and unchlenched them rhythmically, and thought.
He thought about the sad smile his first trainer had left him with. He breathed shallowly and shook his head. She had counted on him and he had failed her.
It was all his fault, and yet he was given another chance. They still trusted him.
His frown slowly morphed into a flat, driven look.
He couldn't waste that chance. He would prove to them he was still reliable, and make his next trainer happy.
That was his goal, his aim, his purpose.
The doors of the Pokémon Center split open, and both Charmander and Nurse Joy glanced over.
A boy with scruffy blue hair, huge sunglasses over them, and way too many piercings all over his body sauntered into the center. He had a big smile, and waved towards the desk.
"Hello, I'm here for the Pokémon put up for adoption." He stopped and considered Charmander. The Fire-type froze, standing to attention.
The nurse nodded, turning towards her terminal and writing on her keyboard. "Your name is..."
"Damian."
She entered his name, and read the several pop-ups that ensued. Charmander followed her movements closely.
"Hmm. Two badges and a considerable number of Pokémon." She studied Damian. "You are one of those trainers that want to cover their teams for every eventuality, I assume."
Damian chuckled. "You could say I am."
Nurse Joy shifted between Damian and the files once more. Then she smiled as she eyed Charmander.
"I think a friendly environment will do this little guy good." She grabbed his Poké Ball and offered it to Damian, alongside a stash of papers. "Please take good care of him."
"I will make sure to do that," the trainer said with a nod as he pocketed the device.
As Damian signed the necessary paperwork, Charmander took another look at him. A faint smile parted his lips.
He didn't look like a bad trainer, and he really looked forward to their adventures together.
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"Eat."
Damian dumped Pokémon food into a bowl and kicked it towards Charmander, causing most of it to fall out along the way.
Charmander tilted his head, but started eating nonetheless. As soon as he noticed Damian's stern glare however, Charmander turned his head up, giving his new trainer a puzzled look.
"What the heck are you waiting for? You need to get to training. Eat that stuff and get to work." Damian pierced him with his stare, and Charmander shivered.
He turned back to the bowl, barely munching his portion and swallowing quickly. About a minute later, nothing was left.
Damian nodded, a grin forming on his face. "Good. I heard good things of starter Pokémon, and you better live up to it. I've got a League to win and no time for dead weight."
He turned around and grabbed a Poké Ball, losing the grin. "Stand and come here. Now. And don't disappoint me."
Charmander tilted his head, gulping down the last of the food. Why was he acting so annoyed? Did he do something wrong? Or maybe his day hadn't gone that well?
He shook those thoughts away and stood up, rushing to his trainer with claws ready. No matter his behavior, one thing was true: he couldn't disappoint. He wouldn't fail his new trainer.
He had to be the best. There was no other choice.
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Charmander fell on his back, panting heavily. The opposing male Nidoran cackled at him while Damian scowled.
"That's all you can do? Are you kidding me?"
Charmander slowly rose back up, wincing and holding his arm. He glared back at the Nidoran as he prepared his claws. It was time to win.
With a growl Charmander charged again, scratching the Nidoran with enough might to knock him back. He retaliated by pounding Charmander into the ground, pinning him down as his horn glowed purple.
Charmander pushed him away, and Nidoran fell on his back. Charmader jumped onto him, driving him further into the dirt. He opened his mouth, summoning his inner power. A small but intense tongue of fire roasted Nidoran's face, making him squirm and thrash. Charmander kept his hold.
As the Ember stopped Nidoran whimpered, skin scorched and body still. He fell unconscious right after, and Charmander got off him.
He turned as Damian recalled the Nidoran with a smirk.
"Well, looks like you aren't terrible." He yawned, walking towards the Pokémon Center. "I am going to sleep. You keep training."
He entered the building and the doors closed behind him, leaving Charmander alone. The Fire-type blinked, before finally falling on the ground, breathing hard. That Ember still needed some work.
He slowly closed his eyes, only to burst them open and jump back on his feet, slapping his cheeks. This was no time to sleep.
He dashed towards a nearby tree, claws ready as he started to scratch at it with a big smile. Come morning, his trainer would be proud of him.
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Ten hours. Ten hours of scratching, burning, and growling at everything he could find.
Charmander didn't waste a single minute of his training: from the moment Damian left and throughout the night he had honed his skills, even as fatigue started settling in and he became less sharp and reactive.
Once he finally destroyed the rock he was assaulting, Charmander smiled, yawning as he looked at the sky. It was late morning already, but Damian was still nowhere to be seen.
He sat down, his eyelids becoming heavier. He did his best and definitely improved, surely that meant he could sleep a bit now, right?
Charmander assumed it was, and let himself fall on the ground and drift into sleep.
Until a kick forced him back awake, stumbling to get back on his feet. His hazy eyes barely made out the shape of Damian, wearing a quite annoyed scowl.
"What did I tell you? I told you to train. Why were you sleeping?"
Charmander gulped, head lowered. Damian kept glaring at him.
"Oh, hey! Training already?"
Damian and Charmander turned around, seeing an older trainer with an Electabuzz walking towards them, arm raised.
Damian put his hands in his pockets. "Maybe. You too?"
"I just woke up and was about to go train some." The trainer looked at Charmander, smiling. "Hey, that's a starter! Is it an Oak-approved one?"
"Indeed. Cool, right?"
"Super cool!" The trainer grinned, before he patted his Electabuzz's back. "Wanna have a battle? My Pokémon just evolved and I need some experience."
Damian grinned. "Sure. Prepare to be thrashed."
He sent a somewhat less condescending glance at Charmander; the Fire-type understood his cue, and took his place on the battlefield.
Before he took his battle stance, Charmander couldn't help but see how huge Electabuzz was, as the Electric-type charged sparks in his hands.
He gulped and took his stance. Damian counted on him, and he had to show him the fruit of his training night!
He prepared his claws, even as a migraine hit him and his sight became hazy. He slapped his cheeks and banished the headache away, focusing his gaze. His fatigue could wait two minutes or so.
"Alright, let's start." The opponent pointed their way. "Electabuzz, Thunder Punch!"
"Go for Ember!"
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As electricity coated Electabuzz's fist, Charmander inhaled and rushed ahead. Flames welled up in his mouth, he aimed... and...
His legs fell, and he rolled along the battlefield. He sprung back up, or at least tried to. But the ground was just so comfortable...
His eyes closed instantly, and everything felt better.
Then he remembered he was in a battle, and jumped back on his feet. He paled as Electabuzz swung his arm.
The elecrified fist sent jolts running through his small body. He squirmed as he flew away, and yelped as his back met the rough wood of an old tree.
He slid to the ground, letting out pained gasps. He promptly fell down, unable to continue fighting.
Both Damian and the other trainer remained speechless as Charmander barely managed to stand up again.
The trainer was the first to speak, cocking an eyebrow and tilting his head. "What? Did he seriously go down in one hit?"
Damian's jaw hung open, then he frowned.
"You said your Pokémon just evolved! He couldn't be that strong!"
"Then maybe it's yours that is worthless." The trainer shrugged, and quickly went back for the Pokémon Center. "Have fun with your frail lizard, I guess."
The door closed behind him and Electabuzz, leaving Damian and Charmander alone. Damian quickly aimed his glare back at the Fire-type, and a shiver ran down Charmander's spine.
After several agonizing seconds, Damian scowled.
"This is all your fault. You were supposed to be strong! What was that fight?" He clenched his fists, shouting at Charmander.
Unable to reply, Charmander simply remained still as he felt his head grow heavy and his footing uncertain.
"I bet you spent all the night sleeping and wasting time rather than training. I was trusting you!"
Charmander paled, his skin rattling up. Sweat poured down as Damian's words sunk in.
He didn't waste time! He was a good Pokémon! He did everything he asked for and more-
His train of thought stopped as the recall beam trapped him back in his Poké Ball.
He had lost, again. Even after all his training.
Then he lost again, and again, and Damian got even more angry, and thus he went back in the Ball.
Charmander grabbed his head, staring at the featureless void around him. Why did he keep failing? Why was nothing enough to be strong? Why did he keep disappointing his trainers?
He really wanted to believe that it wasn't the case, that it was all in his head, but he had seen Damian's face. The contempt, the rage, it was all clear. He had made him mad and expected him to win.
His previous trainer must've felt the same way when she was mauled by the Spearow, thinking why she hadn't picked a better starter.
The thought made Charmander freeze. What if Damian met a dangerous Pokémon? He had no idea how strong Damian's remaining Pokémon were. He could be in danger of dying any moment now, and he was powerless about it. Again.
Charmander sprung back up, trying to get out of the Poké Ball. He had to save Damian! He couldn't allow anything bad to happen to him!
He tried and tried, hitting at the Ball's inner walls with all his might, until he lost all strength and drifted back to unconsciousness, crying and yelling all the way.
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The first thing he felt was the harsh sunlight and the summer heat. Blinded, Charmander squinted his eyes shut; wirh slight hesitation he opened them again, sprays of color quickly taking shape into a small forest, until he focused on a familiar human right next to him.
Charmander wasn't sure how long he'd been in the ball, but the sight of his trainer was enough to make him beam with joy. Damian was still healthy and unharmed, thank goodness!
He stared at his trainer expectantly, tail wagging and gaze focused. Damian blinked and stared at him for a few seconds, rubbing his neck.
"Oh right, you." He gave a shrug. "Well, might as well give you another try."
He gestured at Charmander while stepping deeper inside the woods. "Come with me, we're going to fight some wild Pokémon."
Charmander jolted to attention and paced past him, beaming. His body felt groggy and the lingering fatigue still weighed on him, but none of that mattered. He had a chance to prove himself to Damian, after all! Sleep and stretching could come later.
The twosome strolled through the forest quietly, keeping a close eye on their surroundings. Caterpie, Weedle and Pidgey could be heard in the distance, offering a persistent but soft noise to their walk.
Damian didn't say a word nor stopped pacing further in, but that was hardly a problem. Charmander took shallow breaths as he trotted ahead, squinting his eyes against the harsh sun. Happy, unwanted memories rushed back in his mind, and Charmander banished them post-haste.
He had to focus on Damian now. He couldn't get distracted.
Their trip came to an end as Damian placed a hand in front of him and pointed ahead. A few steps from them, a Rattata was eating a berry, unaware of their arrival. Charmander studied the Pokémon briefly, then turned to face Damian, seeing his large grin.
"Here we go." Damian pointed at the wild Pokémon. "Defeat it."
Charmander considered the Rattata again. He sharpened his claws and grinned, approaching it slowly. He had defeated his fair share of Rattata already; this would be a piece of cake!
He sprinted a bit early, causing the Rattata to face him as he prepared his Scratch attack.
Then his legs stiffened and Charmander tumbled through the grass. He barely managed to keep his tail up and avoid a fire as he tried to get back on his feet, only to find himself without energy.
Charmander held back a grimace and tried to force himself to stand. The Rattata had other ideas, and pounced him to the ground.
He saw Rattata's fangs glisten in the light, and dread washed over Charmander. He thrashed and pushed it away, barely making it. Rattata rolled over until a rock stopped it.
Charmander sprung back up and ran towards Rattata, ready to unleash an Ember.
He took his stance, aimed, and then fired.
The small cough of smoke that ensued froze Charmander on the spot. He tried again, with the same result.
Charmander was speechless, and Rattata took its moment to strike back, lunging for him.
They rolled together until Charmander found himself with his back pressed to the grass, and the fangs sunk in his shoulder.
Charmander cried, and Rattata kept going. He tried scratching or firing an Ember, but pain and fatigue easily won out.
The pain worsened each second, and his screams grew louder. His tail flame flickered and his sight grew hazier.
A pebble flew at Rattata's head, making it yelp and run away. Charmander held his shoulder, feeling warm blood come out of the wound, and turned back to Damian.
He grimaced when he saw Damian's disappointed frown. He paused and glanced the other way.
"Don't tell me you are so weak I need to beat the opponent for you." Damian rubbed his forehead, and his stare grew fiercer. "Looks like you should've remained inside your Ball."
Charmander paled and jumped back up, horrified. Before he could beg Damian's forgiveness, he had already been recalled in the device.
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Next time he saw the outside world, the heat wasn't as bad, and brown leaves coated the ground around naked trees.
While Charmander held his still injured shoulder, he tried to focus on his surroundings. He quickly scampered and put himself in line as he saw Damian.
The trainer stared at him, arms crossed.
"Listen up." He placed his arms akimbo. "Geodude is gonna attack you. He needs to improve his Rock Throw and there aren't enough wild Pokémon around here."
Charmander gave him a quizzical look, until he glanced at the side and saw the Geodude, busy holding two rocks bigger than its body and grinning at him.
Charmander paled and stepped back. Sweat poured down his face as he felt all his wounds flare up at once.
Damian scowled in response.
"What, are you chickening out?" He glared at Charmander. "Are you going to disobey your master?"
Charmander whimpered, then studied Geodude again. He shivered and turned between it and Damian, mouth agape and eyes wide in shock.
Damian's glare fiercened. "Is there anything you can actually do?"
Charmander stiffened, eyes wide open towards Damian. His gaze quickly went to the ground, contemplating the beaten path.
Since day one, he had been nothing but a failure. He failed to save his first trainer, to defeat Electabuzz, Rattata, and everything else.
He clenched his fists and furrowed his brow. No more. He had enough of disappointing people that counted on him.
Charmander would never disappoint his trainer-no, his master again.
He took courage and stepped towards the Geodude; he assumed a battle stance, waiting for the Rock-type's attacks. He ignored his aching body as he tried not to shiver like a leaf.
Geodude balanced its Rock Throws and aimed towards its target. Charmander's heart raced, and his throat clenched shut.
He felt the whole world spin around him and with a loud thud, everything became black.
When he opened his eyes again, Charmander faced a pristine white ceiling.
Worry settled in and he tried to bolt away, only to realize he couldn't.
A few other glances helped him notice the bed he was tied to, the several bandages all over his body, a mask pumping oxygen right in his nostrils over his snout, and several other familiar and scary-looking machines. Ones he was very familiar with by now.
He was in the emergency room of a Pokémon Center, most likely. And he was alone.
He blinked, going through his memories. When did he end up there? His last memory was Geodude preparing to use Rock Throw, and then-
Charmander paled, mouth agape. An old worry sunk in again.
Master, he couldn't have...!
He tried to jump off the bed, to the same result as his previous attempt. He grunted and begrudgingly accepted to wait.
Thankfully, his attempts to flee alerted Nurse Joy, whom entered the room. She let out a relieved sigh and walked closer to Charmander.
"Hey, take it easy." She walked closer and gave him a bright smile. "Are you alright?"
Charmander managed to nod, and the nurse smiled.
"Thank goodness." She turned towards Charmander's readings, her expression morphing into a frown. "Don't move, you are still too weak. I need to run a few checks."
Charmander nodded again, and left Nurse Joy do her job. She didn't speak, but Charmander could see her gaze grow colder as the exams went on.
That was far from Charmander's first concern, however. He only wanted to jump off the bed and check how-
"Did he finally wake up?"
Charmander recognized the voice, and beamed. He turned as much as he could to see Master enter the room, and his smile only became wider when he saw he had no injuries or apparent problems.
Nurse Joy didn't share his enthusiasm.
"Yes, he did." She glanced over Charmander's data again. "When was the last time you fed him?"
"Uhm, six months ago? He's always been in his Poké Ball except a couple times." Master quirked an eyebrow.
Nurse Joy's hands clenched over her clipboard, and gave Damian a stern glare. "Are you kidding? You didn't let him come out for half a year?"
"Well, he wasn't in my main rotation."
"That doesn't mean you shouldn't care for him!" The nurse slammed the clipboard on the desk, startling both Damian and Charmander. "Do you think Pokémon are just battling tools that you can use whenever? The more they are stuck in their Ball, the weaker they become. You could've killed your Charmander if he had fought a serious battle like this."
Charmander remained speechless, his head turned down as he considered the nurse's words. It had really been half a year? That would explain his fatigue and grogginess, but why would master have kept him in his Ball for so long?
His master, on the other hand, simply scowled and stared down at Charmander.
"Well, this explains why he was so weak."
It stung, but that was hardly false. Why waste time on a useless weakling, after all?
Charmander looked down, considering his claws. If he had found a way to train inside his ball, none of this would've happened. In the end, it was always his fault.
Nurse Joy didn't budge from her cold stare. "You need to take your Pokémon's health seriously."
"I get it, stop preaching." Master waved his hand at her. "This won't happen again, okay?"
"It better not, trainers that do this end up with their licenses quickly revoked." She scoffed and walked past his master, leaving the room.
Now alone, master aimed his glare back at Charmander, and the Fire-type froze in place.
"Why didn't you tell me you were weak for inactivity? How was I supposed to know that?" He inched closer to Charmander.
He remained silent, seat pouring down his face. If only he had been stronger, nothing would've happened, it always went back to that.
Master kept his glare on Charmander, until he shook his head and rubbed his forehead. He turned his back on Charmander. "The moment you are out, you are gonna train hard."
Charmander gasped, then a smile split his face. He couldn't believe his master would still keep him after how worthless he had been!
He nodded and pumped his fists. He wouldn't waste his chance to redeem himself.
----------------------------------------
The moment Charmander was healthy and rested enough, his master began training him again.
He fought everything from wild Pokémon to trainers up to Gym Leaders, and yet the result didn't change. His opponents always braved his attacks and put him down in a flash.
Among the opponents that left an impression on Charmander, there was a red-haired girl with a Wingull was able to defeat him without much hassle. After that battle, his master had been quieter than usual and seemed to have his mind constantly elsewhere. Knowing it must've been his fault, Charmander resolved to grow stronger against master's Tentacool.
He failed spectacularly, and his master stopped pairing him with anyone for training. Charmander's heart sunk, but he simply designated rocks and trees as his practice dummies, just like he always did. He knew that he could match all the other Pokémon master owned. He had to.
And then it was that orange-haired trainer's turn.
The battle was so short that he barely remembered it. All he knew was that a giant, grey and red feline Pokémon fired a Flamethrower at him, then pain and blackness.
As he woke up, he saw the trainer give him a mocking glare, then turn back towards master.
And then he spoke.
"This is all you can do? I guess trash people do only have trash Pokémon."
Charmander froze, eyes bored into the trainer's back as he left.
His heart raced, then shook his head. No, master had taken him in when no one else wanted, there was no way he'd-
He paled as his glance met his master's. He frowned and stared back in contemplation, stroking his chin.
Charmander grimaced, only to shake it off and force a smile in its place. His master shrugged and walked off.
A shiver ran down Charmander's spine, and his expression darkened. He slapped his face lightly and took shallow breaths, making a beeline for his master.
There was no way he could really think about releasing him, right...?
The following days, Charmander paid increasingly more attention towards his master's actions and expressions.
He always served his food last, paid as little attention towards his training as possible, and constantly scowled in his direction, tsking loudly at any blunders and seldom praising his accomplishments, all while letting him stay in his Poké Ball for longer stretches of time.
Charmander took it all in stride, never shedding a tear nor showing concern. It was all his fault, after all: if he had been as good as the others, master wouldn't have been forced to ignore him.
It was all his fault and his alone. All because he remained a weakling instead of fulfilling his master's expectations.
He felt pathetic for crying over it, locked inside his Poké Ball. He wasted time moping and feeling bad for himself instead of actually trying to improve for his master's sake. He truly was a poor excuse for a starter Pokémon.
His musings ended when the ball's confines suddenly opened, and the cold rattled against his skin. A cursory glance quickly told him he was in a snowy cavern, most likely in winter.
Master leaned over a wall, shivering and trying to warm himself up. He frowned at Charmander.
"It's freezing here. Use Ember."
Charmander blinked, then understood. His eyes went wide and his jaw was left open. It was his chance!
Without skipping a beat, Charmander launched a tongue of fire, keeping it up at full power.
Master gave a brief smile before he approached the fire, clearly pleased by the warmth.
Charmander couldn't help but smile back, happier than he'd been in forever.
He channelled some more fire into the Ember, and his tail flame dimmed to minuscule levels. It kinda hurt to do so, but the Ember was far more important.
Master needed him to behave, and as such he'd obey.
----------------------------------------
Charmander had to spend almost all of his energy to keep his master warm, but seeing him the day after completely unharmed was the best reward he could ask for. His energy would've returned with some rest, but master was irreplaceable.
After a brief period of rest, he and Master walked through the snowy fields, trudging through the white expanse with liberal usage of his tail flame and Embers. All the while, master remained silent and strode onward.
Charmander knew he shouldn't have been hurt. He had to regain his master's trust bit by bit after his failures, and he had to be patient.
He pumped his fists, focused his energy and continued to melt a path through the snow with no delay.
As he went on, he took in the sights around him: white, white and more white as far as the eye could see, with just a few barren trees, rocks and the occasional blade of grass to break the monotony. All was still, except for the sound of his and master's steps.
At least until he listened more closely, and heard another pair of steps behind them.
"Excuse me, are we going right for the next Pokémon Center?"
While his master turned around almost instantly, Charmander froze in place. He gulped and his body tensed up. He knew that voice.
When he finally turned around, his surprise increased tenfold. She had a pair of black sunglasses, different clothes and had a Growlithe at a leash, but her grin and long brown hair were unmistakable.
It was her. His first trainer. And she was alive.
Words failed the Fire-type as he stood still, babbling incoherent noises.
Master just shrugged. "I think?"
"Well, that's helpful." The girl said dryly, then smiled and bowed. "Thanks the same, though."
"One should never start travelling without a map, you know," Master said, each words drenched in a patronizing tone.
"Oh, I know. Too bad I don't really have an eye for that."
She tapped the frame of her sunglasses. The duo understood.
"What, are you blind or something?"
A nod and a grim smile as she adjusted her glasses. "I was supposed to start my journey around one year ago, but a flock of Spearow had other ideas."
"Blind trainers are a thing?" Master asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Oh, it's nothing compared to what happened later." The girl laughed, a hint of sadness in her voice. "After doing a number to my eyes, I ended up in a hospital without IDs for a few weeks. They even presumed I was dead! It took a while before I could clear things up. And after some prodding and training, they allowed me to resume my Pokémon journey."
"Sounds rough."
"More often than one can think." She sighed, and then recovered her grin. "I just need to give a call once or twice a day and I'm clear, though. And Growlithe here is a great helper."
She petted her Growlithe's head, and he barked happily in return.
Master folded his arms, unamused. "Good. And why are you dumping all your tragic history on me now?"
"Well, you asked me if I was blind, so..." the girl giggled, then segued into a half-bow. "My name is Kaia, anyway."
"Damian." He didn't budge.
Kaia kneeled and turned towards Charmander; her hands moved through the air until she found the Fire-type's snout, rubbing it gently. She smiled. "Is this Charmander yours?"
Master frowned. "How do you-"
"I can recognize its cry and warmth. I used to own one, too."
Me, Charmander thought. She's talking about me.
The excitement quickly turned into sadness as Kaia continued to feel him. She didn't recognize him.
Was it because she was blind, or...?
He shook his head, trying to keep still. He had no idea what to think, it was all so sudden and confusing...
"Yeah, it's mine." Master sneered. "A bit of a weakling, though."
Kaia turned her head up as her grin widened. "Oh, really? Then I think I can help."
"How?"
She gave a victory sign. "With a battle, of course!"
Charmander paled and his jaw dropped, stare aimed at Kaia. He still couldn't think clearly.
Master squinted his eyes and rubbed his pondered for a moment and then sneered at Kaia. "Tsk, you really think you can beat us?"
"Who knows." She placed her arms akimbo and leaned closer to him. "Or are you afraid that a blind girl can kick your ass?"
Master clenched his jaw and bared his teeth in response. "You take that back! Charmander, show her!"
Still startled, Charmander managed a nod. Both Master and Kaia moved back a few steps, while Growlithe took his battle stance. Charmander tried to do the same, but with a much less rigid or focused position.
None of this made sense. He was fighting his dead former trainer, who wasn't dead, just blind, and it was his fault and now he was fighting her when he should've said he was sorry for everything and-
"Ember!"
Charmander charged the tongue of fire. Then realized Master wasn't the one to order it.
In spite of type effectiveness, the Ember hurt in more ways than one.
He fell on the ground, and as he rose he looked back at Kaia. She attacked him.
It was a battle, sure, but he thought- he hoped-
He didn't know what. He didn't know anything.
And as he wondered, Growlithe lunged forward, teeth to the ready.
The bite hit hard, causing Charmander to flinch and howl, pain clouding his chaotic thoughts.
He waved his claws around to break free, and Growlithe avoided it with a swift jump.
"Double Kick!"
And just as swift, the twin hits came by.
Fatigue of all kind had taken over Charmander, and he reacted too late.
Two clean hits was all it took to bring him down, sealing the 'fight'.
It took a lot of his remaining strength to look up, and when he did, he wished he couldn't.
Kaia smiled as brightly as ever while she hugged Growlithe tightly. "Yay! You are the best!"
Charmander looked the other way, shaking his head. It was exactly like she used to do in the brief time they were together.
He gulped. Like she used to do. That time was long gone by now.
Master blinked several times, shifting between Charmander and Kaia. Then, he glared. "What. Was. That?"
"Proof that your Charmander needs some more training, I guess." Kaia shrugged. After kneeling and grabbing Growlithe's leash again, she walked towards Master and gave him a hearty pat on the shoulder. "But don't worry; with some practice, any weakling can become stronger. You just need to hone your skills, and you and your Charmander will stop sucking and become awesome. Just have some patience and give it a try!"
She then walked past trainer and Pokémon, waving at both. "Now I need to go. Good luck with your journey!"
Kaia left as fast as she came, leaving behind a trail of confusion for the two.
Charmander observed her back for a long while before he turned towards master. He gulped as he saw his angry frown.
He tried to apologize, but his master recalled him before he could.
"Stay here until I return, alright?"
Master's orders were simple, even if a bit strange. But who was he to contest him, anyway?
As he sat over a rock, Charmander waited. He occasionally allowed himself to glance around, studying the trees around him, the clouds overhead and the steep path behind him, but his gaze always returned ahead, expecting Damian's blue hair to pop up from the horizon.
Minutes became hours, but Charmander didn't yield. Occasionally, trainers passed by and tried to catch him, but his tail was enough to quickly change their mind.
With nothing else to do, Charmander's mind went back to his previous experiences, and he gulped.
His first trainer-Kaia, her name was Kaia-wasn't dead. He was so happy to know she managed to pull through, but-
She's blind because of me, Charmander thought. He threw his head down, staring at the white rock beneath him.
And now her dream would be much harder to reach. All because of him. No wonder she didn't even notice he was there.
No no no, she only didn't recognize me because she couldn't see, that must be the-
Oh, who was he kidding. It was obvious why Kaia didn't recognize him: would you ever talk with the Pokémon that made you lose your sight? It was either that or yelling at him, and Charmander knew he deserved both.
Charmander's gaze became murky, and he forced back the tears. He had no right to be upset, he deserved all of this, and he still hadn't improved. He had just been a burden for his master too. No wonder he decided to not bring him along for whatever he was doing.
A sudden clap of thunder stopped Charmander's thoughts. He looked back up, and paled.
Stormy clouds were on the horizon. Right above the path his master went through.
Charmander frowned. He didn't know where his master could've gone, but usually he went straight for the Pokémon Center when the weather got bad. He would be safe there.
Another thunder roared. His skin rattled as he stared at the pitch black clouds. And a question wormed its way in.
What if master can't reach the Pokémon Center in time?
He almost rushed to the rescue before he remembered his master's orders. Stay here until I return.
He sighed and remained put, fists clenched. Thunder continued to rumble in the distance, occurring more frequently as time passed.
He stared at the clouds again, and pondered. He had to be a good, obedient Pokémon, he had to-
A last, booming peal of thunder sealed his decision.
He jumped on his feet, took a deep breath, and sprinted right towards the storm.
Master wouldn't have been happy, but that wasn't important. He needed to make sure he was alright first.
Who cared about him, anyway?
----------------------------------------
Charmander had never liked the rain. Even outside of type issues, it was always gloomy and dark when it rained, and everything felt cold and uncaring. It was all he didn't want to see, and he hated the plinging sound on the ground and windows whenever rain fell.
He couldn't stop and scowl at puddles now, though. He had a mission to fulfill.
The rain fell in sheets towards the ground, each drop feeling like daggers over his skin and old wounds. Charmander gritted his teeth and soldiered on through the path.
His tail flame became dimmer by the minute, making Charmander want to cringe and run to safety. He ignored his selfish instincts as he saw a familiar red roof with a Poké Ball sign.
He stopped and wheezed, and a smile popped on his face in spite of the pain. He sprinted towards the Pokémon Center, focused on his goal: he would make sure his master was there, and if he wasn't, that meant he just needed to look around and-
His foot bumped on a rock, and Charmander splashed straight into a wide puddle. He bit his lip and aborted a hiss of pain as he got back on his feet, and went on to brave the storm.
After what felt like an eternity wading through the water, the entrance of the Pokémon Center was finally in his reach.
Charmander beamed and rushed inside, and promptly fell on the hardwood.
He groaned and pulled himself back up, taking deep breaths and enjoying the warm locale. And then he glanced ahead, and noticed the stares.
Many, many stares were aimed at him the moment he entered, all filled with worry.
"What...?"
"Oh my..."
"Look at its flame! It's almost out!"
"Who would treat their Pokémon like this?"
"Hey, is that Charmander's owner here?"
The voices quickly overwhelmed Charmander. He tried to ignore them as he searched around, meeting many glances except for the one he looked for.
He walked further in, shifting through every look in the room. His breath became shallow and quick, his mind felt heavy, but he had to go on.
And then, a familiar tuft of blue hair and glasses came into view. Charmander's smile had never been wider.
Then his master turned around. Charmander was confused by his shocked expression, and subsequent glare.
Yeah, he glared often, but never that badly... like he didn't want to see him.
Before Charmander could have any answers, the world became black.
----------------------------------------
He had spent so much time inside his Poké Ball by now that the featureless void had become almost comforting to see. He wouldn't have disappointed anyone within its confines.
He hung his head down, staring at the 'floor'. He deserved it: master told him to wait and he disobeyed. He should've respected his orders.
Paws went over his eyes, fighting back tears. He needed to be more careful and obedient. No more mistakes.
Maybe with that he would've finally been happy for a change.
He felt his Ball be grabbed, and Charmander bolted to attention. He pulled off his best attempt at a smile and got ready to jump.
He sprung out of the Poké Ball as soon as it opened, ready to hug his master.
He fell face-first on the grass instead. He got back up and studied his surroundings, seeing only grass, a tall fence, and a building not too far from him. It felt somehow familiar.
As he turned around, he was met with two pair of eyes looking back at him. A Bulbasaur and a woman with blue hair.
His master wasn't around.
"Are you alright?" The Bulbasaur approached, a vine extended towards him.
Charmander stepped away, feeling a tree trunk press behind his back. "W-who are you?"
The Grass-type kept his position "I'm Bulbasaur. I keep away intruders alongside Melanie, making sure no one tries to steal the Pokémon here."
Charmander glanced around the field, and after he saw a bunch of Eggs scattered about, he understood why the place felt familiar.
It was a Pokémon Breeding Center.
He would've wondered why he was there, but there were much more pressing questions to ask first. He swallowed and turned back to Bulbasaur.
"Where's master?"
Bulbasaur cocked his head. "Who?"
"My trainer. He has blue hair, and glasses and many piercings and-"
He stopped, studying Bulbasaur's puzzled glance. He swallowed as a doubt settled in.
Bulbasaur looked at 'Melanie', shared a nod, and cleared his throat. A shiver ran down Charmander's spine.
"Uhm," he seemed to consider his words before he stared through Charmander. "I'm sorry. Me and Melanie just found your Poké Ball left nearby. There was no one else in sight."
And Charmander's entire world crumbled to pieces around him.
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The sun shone above Melanie's breeding center. Several newborn Bulbasaur and other Pokémon, wild or abandoned, were all playing together by a nearby lake.
Charmander stared over at them, sitting on the hard tree trunk with his tail wrapped around his Poké Ball. Melanie had tried to get it from him, and after way too many attempts, she simply allowed him to keep it.
They seemed so happy, smiling and playing like that. He wished he could remember how to do it.
"Hey, there."
Charmander didn't turn around. Bulbasaur approached all the same and poked him gently with a vine.
"Melanie is about to serve lunch. There's a hefty portion for you, too." He smiled.
Charmander didn't turn around, his spent gaze still aimed at the Pokémon ahead.
Bulbasaur sighed and recalled his vine. He walked in front of him.
"Do you need something? I can bring you anything. Food, water, some toys even. Just name it."
Charmander engaged in a staring contest alongside Bulbasaur. After moments that lasted forever, he yielded and looked down. "I don't need anything."
"You've been here for a few weeks now and still haven't interacted with anyone. I don't know exactly what you have been through, but this isn't the right way to deal with it."
Charmander squinted and gave Bulbasaur his back. "Don't talk, please."
"I'm just trying to help-"
"You can't!"
Bulbasaur was startled, even moreso when Charmander jumped to his feet and glared at him. A long, furious, barely held back glare. He snarled and raised his fists, his tail flaring up.
"This is all my fault! I caused this! It's my fault that Kaia lost her sight! It's my fault to have been so weak! It's my fault that Master had to deal with such a weak little Pokémon! I'm a mistake! I can't do anything good! You are just wasting time here! Just leave, I don't need anything! I just ruin everything I touch! Anything!" He punched his chest over and over, his glare intensifying. "I should've never been born! Stop acting like my life matters! It doesn't! It just doesn't!"
As he finished, Charmander breathed heavily and held his chest. All around him, silence fell.
Then he saw the stares. Bulbasaur with a confused, pale look on his face. All the other Pokémon turned towards him as well, their expressions ranging from confusion, to nuisance, to dislike, to way too many emotions for him to read.
He stared back, mouth agape, and realized.
"No..." Charmander's heart raced, eyes widened and sweat pouring down his face.
He did it again. He had ruined everything. He could see it on Bulbasaur's face. On everyone's face.
Bulbasaur took a few hesitant steps forward.
"Sorry..." Charmander gulped, looking back at Bulbasaur. He still had the same eyes.
He turned away, squinting his eyes. "Sorry sorry sorry sorry I'm sorry!"
He tried to look for a way out, somewhere, anywhere. He only met more stares. Too many.
Then he saw his Poké Ball, and smashed the center button open.
Blackness filled his view, and as he saw the featureless void again, everything was fine.
This was where he belonged. Where he would disappoint no one, where no one would be hurt by him.
No one would ever suffer. No one.
----------------------------------------
Bulbasaur had always been pretty confident in his ability to read people. They didn't call him 'Bulbasaur the Ambassador' for nothing.
As such, between his life experiences and all the Pokémon he had met, he could easily figure out what Charmander had been going through. His eyes, his behavior, even his outburst were all pointing out towards the same thing: what humans called 'Atrice Syndrome'.
Bulbasaur didn't remember all the specifics, but he knew the story: a young trainer was slowly being killed by the poison of Viridian Forest's Beedrill, and his starter, a Bulbasaur like him, couldn't function without a trainer. He dragged the trainer with him, probably to keep him going in his dream, and they ended up... well, one could say a journey, but it was really more like a Pokémon dragging a walking corpse that could barely remember anything. The authorities only really noticed the problem when they found the boy dead with an Ivysaur that didn't want to leave his side and had to be sedated.
Studies proved that the Ivysaur had a pathological need to be with a trainer, to help them, and be their friend. Independence was completely lost on them. The condition was named 'Atrice Syndrome' after the boy's surname.
This caused an uproar in the training circuit, leading to the creation of alternative methods to help these Pokémon like shelters, adoptions, and other things, while breeding centers started becoming much stricter in the training required for the starters, making sure they mantained at least a certain level of free thinking. Even then, the occasional affected Pokémon came up, and there was little to nothing that could be done about it: the lucky ones found a good new trainer and went on to become reliable and brave fighters. The unlucky ones died alone and unloved more often than not.
Bulbasaur stared at Charmander's Poké Ball for a long few minutes before he sighed. It was obvious what fate was going to befall Charmander eventually.
After giving Melanie the Fire-type's Poké Ball for safe-keeping, Bulbasaur left the building and resumed his habitual patrol. He sneered; even with the good ones like Melanie around, one really couldn't trust a human.
To heal, Charmander would need the loving care of a true friend, and these were hard to find. They should also find a way to somehow convince him that he wasn't weak and could become truly strong, but that was even harder to do. He wanted to hope he could find a good trainer, but he wasn't sure those even existed.
Yells and cries in the distance snapped Bulbasaur out of his thoughts. He quickly surveyed the breeding center's grounds, and then found the origin of the noise.
Two trainers, a girl with orange hair and a boy with black hair and a Pikachu on his shoulder were sparring together, using a Wingull and an Aipom respectively.
Bulbasaur rolled his eyes, and prepared himself to step in and move them out. They really didn't need further problems.