getting hammered FOR SCIENCE!

Coordinates of successful jump: Copy paste them from last report, do not forget!!

Weather conditions: Cold. Bit windy. Was inside, don't really know.

Number of hours spent time-displaced: Am drunk, check suit later

Spent time with the locals, the kidz taught me a cool game that's played with stones. You throw them. And catch them. And there's levels and challenges and stuff. I sucked at it because last time I actually threw a ball or something was in elementary school in PE, and I sucked at it even then. When's the last time YOU ever threw a ball or stuff? Like for real, no VR games. My hand-eye coordination sucks.

Then they showed me BOOZE! And it was good!! Probably some fermented berry juice, was really sweet.

We hang out. They're cool. They will show me how they hunt Pokémon. That's not so cool.

What else am I supposed to write here??

Ah yeah, I gave the Pokémon back. They were happy!!

Well Sada was. She almost cried. Felt that.

I also almost cried these days thinking about my wallet while keeping the thing at my home. Dumb lizard. (Miraidon's SO MUCH COOLER!!)

Since the nerds at the Academy will be all sad that they don't have seen Winged Ping flying, in this report I will also give a thorough explanation of the physics behind it. Because I have seen it flying and actually ridden it, and I'm cool light that.

So.

Uinged Ling's got wings. It's in the name. But there's a problem. They are too small, and are on its head. I made a top-down view diagram of it.

(Author's note: there's sadly no other way to do it, so here is the link to Turo's masterpiece. Replace (###) with actual dots and it should work)

www(###)huppy(###)it/images/5915/1682499924715kor(###)png

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

See? The wings cover only one side. Which means the rest of the body gets no windy force that pushes it up. The back legs and tail are heavy, they should make it fall back.

BUT DR TURO, THEN WHY CAN MIRAIDON FLY? HIS WINGS ARE ALSO ON HIS HEAD!!

Because, and this is important.

He. got. cool. JET ENJINES ON THE LEGS!! And magnetic force. MAGNETS!!

Cyclizar got no wings and nothing, and therefore does the sensible logical thing and is stuck on the ground like the poor sad Normal Type lizard it is.

Then how does Ringed Ping fly?

It's no flying type. No wind currents. Not psychic. No magnetic force.

According to all laws of aviation, it shouldn't be able to fly. But it does.

My only and totally scientific conclusion is that Winged Jing flies, because it gives no shits that it shouldn't be able to. It wants to fly, and so it does. Because it's a cool dinosaur lizard.

... or maybe it fills the throat sac and body with some lighter than air gas or something, no idea, I'm no Pokémon Professor.

---

After trudging back from Johto after the latest unsuccessfull attempt to catch another glimpse of one of the legendary beasts, Dr Melany Vega pushed open the door to her office and unceremoniously dumped her soaked raincoat to the floor. Why did Raikou have to be rumoured to "carry rain clouds on it's back"? Why did its stupid bark have to sound exactly like crashing thunder? Why did she have to check the local weather report for rain and storms and strange thunder cracks with clear skies and then go to the spot where it absolutely poured just to try and get to see it and snap a picture?

Maybe she should just change completely objective. Choose some nice, easy legendaries. Like... the Regis.

Sure she would have to actually find them first, but... they weren't responsible for natural disasters. No one had tried to use them to conquer the planet. They were perfectly happy to sleep away the ages in their nice little caves, and not run around two or three whole regions.

She sat down at her desk and opened a monitor, checking her mail. Blablabla students eager for an internship. Bla bla some rich dude wanted to pay for a three-hour trip through time. Blablabla... oh. Turo's latest report.

They were always so easy to read. As logical and precise as the man himself.

Vega opened it up on a separate monitor... and then had to double check the sender when she read the title.

And the first line. And everything after that.

She covered her mouth with one hand to stifle the laughter, but when she got to the drawing she just had to get up and run to Ortega's office.

He wasn't there, because of course he wasn't. When was that guy even actually working?

So she went to the sanity room, sure to find him there lazing around.

« Have you READ-»

As soon as she stepped inside she was sure that yes, Ortega had already read the report, because the whole room had been made to look like an art museum, with the little drawing being proudly displayed mounted on different frames, with various filters applied like some modern art piece. Ortega turned towards her, out of breath from laughing too much and tears in his eyes.

«... I can't wait to see him tomorrow... you think we can get him to write every report from now on drunk? » he asked.

« Never mind that. » she sat down next to him, and pulled up the report again to read the rest.

« I want to try the same stuff he had.»