I blinked awake at the feeling of something shifting around me.

“Mrgle?” I mumbled as I blinked my eyes open. It was dark. A bit of moonlight flooding in through a window giving me just a bit of light to work with.

“Milo.” A soft voice whispered from around my chest. I looked down at my best boy who was wrapped around me, obviously seeking comfort from the pouty look on his fishy cheeks.

I realized that one of my legs, I couldn’t tell which had gotten caught in his curls and was pointing straight up in the air, my other leg probably buried in my blankets somewhere. It wasn’t the most uncomfortable position I had woken up in since I found my team.

“What’s wrong little fish?” I whispered back and his massive red eyes opened a bit wider to look at me, and he sort of mumble whispered at me.

I hmmed sleepily as I wiggled a bit and managed to get both of my arms free from blankets and Milotic coils. Wrapping both arms around his nose I pressed my lips to his cool scales.

And instantly blew a massive raspberry right above his nose.

“Miii!” He squealed, causing the whole bed to shift as he jerked around tossing blankets and causing me to feel like I was on an ocean during a storm for a second.

I placed a kiss on his nose after knowing what was coming. His eyes narrowed at me, and he wiggled, suddenly returning my attack. A raspberry blowing across my stomach that was unprotected after my shirt had rolled up a bit in the night.

“Eee!” I squealed back. Trying to escape, but only barely able. Then it was silent and he flopped his head down onto me with a wet sounding plop.

“You okay little fish?” I asked, now more awake, but I didn’t get a response, just a sort of sigh. “Little fish? Pretty fish? Handsome wonderful-fish?” I murmured, complimenting my best boy. Eventually my words got him squirming as I stroked his long fins.

“Mii-Milo.” He sighed looking up at me from a half lidded eye.

“Oh, I’m sorry little fish.” I sighed. I had been so busy over the last week. Helping Sabrina. Having our match, which Milotic hadn’t taken part in. Getting the star gym badge… Honestly the match was pretty disappointing. Then sticking around to help Sabrina for a bit…

Okay I had stuck around to see the effects of my trolling on the Pokemon world.

I still remember the first trainer to come by while Sabrina was working on it. The fact Sabrina had greeted him with an idol-like entrance, with a cute song and dance, that shifted into horror as the music started jittering, with Haunter having merged with her face to make it look like her face was melting as they battled?

The poor kid had peed himself…

I might have come close to doing that myself, but that was from laughter.

But it had left me without a lot of hang out time with my team. Milo was lonely.

“I’m sorry little fish. Beauty fish. Best fishie.” I whispered, my words perking him up a little as I focused on my boy scratching his favorite spots and just cuddling with him for a while. It felt like I had been at Sabrina’s gym for a long time really.

“I think we’ll leave tomorrow, little fish. Back on the road. Just us.” I told him and that earned me a slight twitch in his fins a sign of pleasure.

I guess my poor Pokemon had been a little left out, I mean I fed and still trained them, but it had been a much slower week than normal where we literally did nothing but goof off- I mean train together on the road.

If Arcanine hadn’t gotten her battle against Sabrina she definitely would have been bouncing off the walls…

Well, more than she already was.

Poor Sabrina. She really only had a small assortment of Pokemon and had mostly kept up with her psychic powers. Overpowering people with her combo of powers and psychic pokemon. It worked, and the fact her father was apparently the previous gym leader meant her takeover was accepted by the association. Her lack of high end teams was ignored for now.

But it wouldn’t be forever.

Of course Sabrina was now plotting to fix that. With her restored focus she would be a good gym leader. Her pokemon had gotten stronger in just the short time we had been together.

In the end, teaching Sabrina how to troll Kanto had been an interesting diversion, but I had Pokemon journey stuff to do.

Also…

“Haunter if you don’t stop poking my butt with your cold hands. I’m gonna call out Arcanine.” I warned, and the yelp of the ghost Pokemon could be heard from underneath my bed.

I didn’t mind the trolling. It seemed like a natural thing from the Ghastly line of Ghost Pokemon. I mean every Ghastly, Haunter of Gengar I had seen in the show had been a troll.

But my butt was cold now, and in the middle of the night!?

“I can’t stand this.” I grumbled swearing not to capture a Haunter in the future…

Okay maybe one… Or two? Gengar were kinda cute…

Okay nevermind. But no cold spots while I’m sleeping!

—--

“So you are leaving.” Sabrina offered as I met her in her little dining room in the back of the gym, where the gym leaders' rooms were located.

She had leant me a spare bedroom rather than have me run out to the Pokemon center every day. So we ended up sharing breakfast.

Also, she had just read my mind again, because she had just walked into the dining room as I was looking to see if there was anything I wanted to eat in the fridge and started talking, nearly jump scaring me into bashing my head on the top of the fridge.

“Yep. I got more stuff to do.” I said carefully, pulling my head out of the fridge and glaring at her tiny smirk. Sabrina REALLY liked jump scares.

“Blaine will be a difficult fight. His star badge may be a cliff you can not overcome… If you fail and need assistance in training… My door is open.” She said in her usual slightly ponderous manner. I blinked and then smiled brightly then before even Sabrina could think about what I was planning I walked over and hugged her.

“You’re my friend Sabrina!”

“Aa.” The noise of surprise that escaped the girl was very cute. And then Haunter joined in on the fun, hugging Sabrina, and the poor girl just couldn’t quite process.

“I’ll definitely stop by again. I mean, I kinda want to see what the first horror coordinator will be like.”

“Horror Coordinator?” She muttered the strange words kick starting her brain. Also pretty normal when dealing with Sabrina, sometimes she would short circuit, get lost in her own head, and then jump right into the conversation like nothing happened. “I see… Acceptable description.”

“Yeah! I thought it up while trying to figure out what your theme would be described as. It’s a cool new mix of coordinator, and horror comedy. So Horror Coordinator. I think you’ll be knocking the socks off the Hoen Coordinators soon!” I giggled. I was almost tempted to yell out Kanto represent! Or something equally patriotic.

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

I mean… It was the best region after all.

Sabrina looked at me with that weird look of almost amusement on her face and I realized she was listening in again. So I just mentally stuck my tongue out at her, and a moment later her actual tongue popped out of her face.

But it was more… Cute? Kinda dopey? Like she didn’t know how to use it.

Cute!

Then suddenly it grew huge and licked me across the face.

“Blegh! Haunter!” I yelped, wiping the ethereal cold off my face. I shivered a bit, my body reacting to it, but I shook it off.

Although Sabrina’s Pokemon weren’t really a match for my own, there had been some mixed training, and most of it was getting used to ghost and psychic type pokemon.

Including figuring out how to resist their attacks a bit. Psychic was easy. Dark type attacks, but ghost was a little trickier…

Arcanine with a cowlick….

“Pffft!” I burst into laughter as the image shot back into my head. That picture was going into the scrap book for sure. Arcanine had looked so confused why everyone was laughing, even with a big pompadour like fluff on top of her head from Haunter.

It had actually become one of Haunters favorite tricks to play on trainers if they ran from the gym. A big flowy cowlick waving on top of some poor young trainer's hair showed the whole city as they ran crying to the Pokemon center that they hadn’t made the cut.

Oof. Sabrina might not be turning people into dolls anymore, but her reputation might actually be more scary now.

But also, it would be more exciting. Like being dared to go into a haunted house. A test of courage. Exactly what young kids would have a blast with even as they piss their pants….

Okay maybe she still needed to tone down her routine a bit more…

Well time to go!

Definitely not running from the repercussions of my actions!

“You have my number.” I finally said as I caught my breath from my laughter spree.

“I do. Also, I have memorized your psychic signature. No matter where you go on this earth. I can find you.” Something like that could have been terrifying! Especially with the intense focused look in Sabrina’s eyes! But not me! Definitely!

“Cool! We’ll hang out sometime!” I said and hurried out the door. I would eat on the road… Far from here.

—--

“HOOOOOOOoooooowwwwlllll!” Arcanine roared her return to the wilds with a noise that echoed for miles. I had expected a reaction so I had covered my ears, but whew! She could get loud when she wanted.

Then she shifted on me, tail wagging so fast it was just a blur of motion.

“Yes. We get to go on a run. Saddle up.” I called out as I pulled the saddle out of my bag. She instantly rushed over and crouched down. A minutes work and a few of those wasted petting soft belly fluff and the saddle was secured.

“Alright girl. Let’s go straight to… Well actually Pallet town might be best? It’s certainly an easier trip from there to Cinnabar.” I muttered, pulling out my Pokegear map and checked. Yep it was definitely closer to Pallet town over the water. Basically straight south…

Well it was a longer trip here to Pallet town, and I really needed to give Arcanine some room to stretch her legs.

“Okay girl see?” I said showing the map. “That’s pallet town. You understand where it is.” As usual Arcanine looked at the map and obviously wanted to just ignore it entirely, but nodded.

Hmm… She was definitely needing a bit of a pick me up.

Heh.

This might be a little rough on my butt, but I knew exactly how to encourage my girl.

“Oh wow, look at that. It says it takes six hours to get there by car. Wow. I guess we better plan for an overnight trip then huh? It might take us a while to get there.” I said lying through my teeth.

This thing didn’t have google maps. It had no information on how long it would take to get anywhere.

“Arcanine!?” She barked affronted beyond belief.

“Yeah that’s a long run huh? Hmm. Should I pack some extra food?” I wondered aloud tapping my chin.

“Arcanine! Arc! Arc!” She barked, stamping her feet, a literal fire in her eyes and fur fluffed up.

Yep. She was ready to race the time now.

“Huh. I guess I’ll just time you then!” I said, trapping her, something she realized. Heh. Sometimes Arcanine liked to take a slightly longer route to get to places to earn more zoomies. She thought I didn’t notice!

I saw it! I saw it all Arcanine!

But now I would get Arcanine her exercise and a straight shot!

I’m a genius!

“Alright. Timer… Start!” I said, jumping on and strapping in, and hitting the button on the timer watch.

Of course the moment I said start, a realization hit me.

I was not a genius.

“TOOOoooooo FAAAAAaaaaasssst!”

—---

I saw Pallet town coming. Saw the nice houses. The dirt roads. The peaceful atmosphere.

Before it was all disrupted by the dust cloud.

Of course I only had about… Well, seconds to see the village, be through the village and then hit the ocean.

“BLURBLGLURBL!” I gasped as the spray of ocean water hit me right in the face and then I was back out and Arcanine was prancing! Literally prancing around in circles on the beach.

I coughed out what I thought was a young goldeen from my mouth, pulled the strap on the saddle and just flopped over poofing into the sand.

“Arc!”

“Okay. You… Win.” I accepted defeat with all the grace I could manage with half my face buried in the sand.

Kinda hard to act tough when you stopped being able to feel your own ass.

Arcanine was not a gracious winner.

Despite me not giving her time on the watch. She didn’t really care about that. It was more about messing with me for having played her…

So she was just prancing around me in circles showing her victory.

“Ooh. My poor butt.” I moaned because yeah. Saddle or not. When you are riding an animal going… What was the number again. 250 MPH? Something around there. I remember reading about it back in the old world. Although that was pokedex information so who knew it if was accurate. But frankly…

Yeah I believed it. If I hadn’t had goggles I would have been blinded by bugs or leaves as Arcanine absolutely destroyed the distance from Saffron to Pallet town in like… Twenty minutes? Less? God it took Ash like literally months to make that journey, what the hell was that kids sense of direction?

It felt like hours, but I was just going to take this as a bad Vicky plan. Never ever challenge the competitive Arcanine that could run at over two hundred miles an hour and then strap yourself to her.

Just… Bad idea all around.

Eventually I got enough strength back after Arcanine started licking my ear forcing me to push her away to sit up.

“Okay that beach? Preeeetty nice.” I muttered. It was a long stretch of beach on the south coast. It was quiet, and surprisingly tame. Vermillion had to have wave breaks and stuff for their docks. But out here, the waves were just calm.

Peaceful.

“Beach party!” I decided then and there. We would party and train. Have lunch, and then continue onto Cinnabar!

I threw out my team Milo cried out happily as he splashed into the water, as did Gyarados. Chansey joined me on the sand clapping her hands at the view. Dragonite instantly took to the sky flying up and then divebombing Milotic into the ocean.

Ooooh. Frisky Dragonite.

Good luck Pretty Eel. Considering how strong that divebomb was… Well. He’s gonna need it. The downsides to have a big dragon GF I guess.

Of course a moment later the sunlight turned off.

Ah…

Blegh! Fish saliva!

I was wiggled up and down by a tongue larger than me for a few moments before my good boy lowered his head and settled me onto the sand.

Of course he opened his mouth and a whole drop of saliva came with me. Which considering how big his mouth was, was about half my size.

Wiping my eyes clear, I quickly gave my big fish a bright smile so he knew that I loved him.

Then I instantly turned and puked into the sand, because fish saliva is hella gross and some got in my mouth!

Once I had that covered up I walked into the ocean to meet my fate.

Well at least until Gyarados came in with me and started swimming around, coming up under me and lifting me out of the water. I sighed in happiness, resting on his forehead crest, saliva gone, and just soothing rumbles of my big old fishy boy.

All is forgiven. Anyone who doesn’t dream of magic dragon fish rides in the ocean with the warm pre-noon sun shining down on them is lying. This was the life.

“That’s a good fishie fish.” I said just scratching his head just above his crest on his actual scales. It was a tough spot for him to reach naturally considered it was behind his protective crest.

It was also very sensitive, and apparently itched. So his gentle circles were soon more like a wiggle as he practically danced under my touch.

Ahhhh yisss! This was the life. I heard a super loud splash and looked over before bursting into laughter. Although never stopping my scritches.

Arcanine had obviously gotten bored.

Chansey was happily playing in the sand. Building little sand castles, very cute!

Arcanine wanted to play.

Arcanine used flail! Chanseys sand castle took damage!

Chansey became enraged!

Chansey used Seismic Toss!

It’s super effective!

Now Arcanine was dog paddling back to the shore looking a liiiittle water logged. Of course the moment she made it back Chansey gave her a ‘I’m looking at you.’ Wave with her arms pointing to her eyes and then to Arcanine and Arcanine very carefully moved a good distance away from Chansey before shaking her self like a whirlwind and then lighting herself on fire.

These total goofs!

“Okay Arcanine, okay! Let’s make a game for you, okay girl?” My callout earned me a jerk of Arcanines head and big dopey doggy smile.

Yeah that was my girl alright.

I jumped off Gyarados, although I did it into the water so I could swim over by his eyes letting him see I was there and stroking his cheek. His eyes closed in happiness and he wiggled even more.

Then I swam up to the beach breaching with a gasp and stretching out. That was a good little break. Of course I had to get changed first, or ask for a blowdry special. Arcanine hadn’t exactly waited for me to get changed into my swim suit.

My boots were full of water too. But eh. Not the first time. At least it wasn’t swamp water this time.

Now to distract, train, and occupy my battle maniac…

Hmmm…

“Okay! I got it. We’re gonna do some battling!”

“A-arc!?” She looked deliriously happy all of a sudden…

Hmm. I really hope this wasn’t another bad Vicky plan.

—--

Nope. This was a GREAT Vicky plan!

I was laughing in delight at the looks the old man was giving Arcanine. After getting changed, still barefoot as I left my boots to dry, riding Arcanine, with Gyarados on my hip as he didn’t want to be without me.

So cute!

This whole situation was perfect.

Chansey was actually staying on the beach playing in the sand, and Dragonite and Milotic were… Occupied.

We headed back north into pallet town. This was supposed to be a beach party, but sometimes a little spice was nice.

Pallet town was a quiet little town. Long stretches of land kept all the homes plenty private and it was quaint and beautiful. Practically a retirement village.

Which is what had given me the idea.

A large pack of retired older people in Kanto, standing right next to the border, but in a pretty safe place as there were pretty hefty mountains cutting it off from Johto… That was actually a thing wasn’t it. I wonder how many of the old people in this town were hidden monsters ready to call forth their fully evolved Pokemon to smote some Johto youngsters if they caused trouble?

Koga had opened my eyes to a lot of the politics in how Kanto and Johto was set up. There were tons of little checks and balances between the two regions. The constant wars and battles had been going on for…

Well longer than anyone had written down.

So of course I rolled back into town riding Arcanine and looked for the first old person I saw.

“You want to battle!?” The look of surprise on the old woman's face that was watering her garden outside of her cute little home wasn’t the aghast horror or shock it was…

Nostalgic.

“Oh dear, I haven’t had a good battle in… Well far too long. That arcanine wouldn’t get any challenge from my old lizard. Hanabi! You even awake you sleepy head?” The woman called out voice carrying, and a gruff rumble echoed out as a fucking Charizard stepped out from behind the house.

I was right!

Old people were fucking cool in the Pokemon world! Hell yeah! This old lady absolutely used to rumble!

The Charizard spotted Arcanine and for an instant there was a shift, its shoulders raised. Its tail plumed in power and it looked every ounce the ancient dragon it resembled.

I wished I had my camera in my hand because nothing quite prepares you for the sight of a dragon preparing for a battle, but then it floomped. That’s the best description I could give. Smoke exhaled from its mouth. Its shoulders kinda slumped, and its gut stretched a bit from where it had sucked it in. It looked tired. It could still fight if it needed, but it had no desire to rumble with us.

Of course Arcanine’s tail went from vibrating to slowing instantly at the sight.

“See? This old girl is as good as me now a days! Hah! Old bones like us.”

“I don’t know ma’am. For a second there I felt like I was about to face Koga again.” I told her, and the old lady flushed into a delighted smile covered by her hand.

“Oh stop it! I was never a Gym Leader. Although back in the day I did work as one of Blaine-sensei’s Gym assistants, back before he joined the elite four. Those were the days!”

“Aaaarc.” My girl whined before I could say anything else, because I really did want to know more about that topic, but I just laughed and patted her head.

“Well I’m trying to find a battle for my battle junkie here. Know anyone around that wouldn’t mind one?”

“Oh, you are a delight! I’ll take you to Matthew myself. Hehe. That old timer always talks up his Gym leadership position! Pah! He was a minor Gym leader! I’d like to see him face a real fire type in their prime!” She cackled in delight and hurried to put her watering can down and take off some of her work clothes before nodding to me and beckoning me down the road.

I think I might actually love this town.

Anyway that’s how I came face to face with an old man that was staring at Arcanine like she was a legendary Pokemon, and when I offered to battle the smile that spread across his face took off forty years.

People in the pokemon world? Battle Maniacs. All of them.

I could practically hear the battle music start as the man pulled out an old, but well cared for pokeball from his hip.