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Pokemon Destinies
009: Boy - Grief, Part 1

009: Boy - Grief, Part 1

The bright lights of the arena bear down on me. I grit my teeth and clench my fist, watching as my dodrio lands in a heap, victim to the arcanine's last attack. My head swivels up to the battle screen, and it displays what I already know: dodrio has been defeated.

(This isn't right... This isn't how I remember it...)

I return the bird pokémon to its pokéball and give it a silent thanks. I am down to my final pokémon, but then, so is my opponent.

(Who is my opponent?)

My eyes travel across the battlefield, and focuses on the trainer at the end of it.

It's Blue. Champion Blue.

(This is... this is the Champion Battle! Pokémon Trainer Red vs Kanto Champion Blue...)

I close my eyes and take a deep, calm breath. I pull out my last pokéball and rest it against my forehead. It's up to you now, I whisper in my mind.

My companion, my strongest pokémon, my ace.

My starter.

I throw the ball and a pale, blue light comes forth, releasing the pokémon inside. The light reconstructs the pokémon, and I can't help but smile. She is my best friend, after all.

A lapras appears, and turns her head to look at me.

It's Millie.

(Millie?)

Suddenly, the world shifts. I look down, and my hands are shaking. A strange thought occurs to me.

("Are you like Red?")

What? I am Red... aren't I?

(No. This isn't how it went...)

I am sweating through my shirt, my jacket, my cap. I wince as my thoughts swirl unbidden through my head. Each one a barrage assaulting me from every direction. About Millie, and Master, and blood, and ice, and rage.

It's me! I know who I am!

("No, I am not like Red.")

I look up, and see Millie. She's still looking at me, with those sweet, innocent eyes. A tiny smile playing on her face. Waiting for my command.

The scene distorts, and Millie is frozen. Her head is tilted up to the sky, the expression on her face now frightening, her eyes shut and her mouth set in a scream.

I shut my eyes, try to blot it out, but the vision haunts me. I cannot escape it. I fall to the ground, weeping. My starter is dead. Millie is dead.

I lift my head up and scream.

----------------------------------------

Boy awoke screaming, with terrible tears running down his face. He was out of breath, like he'd been running a marathon. It was still dark. He had sweated through his clothes and the beddings had become clammy. He pulled the blanket off himself in disgust.

That nightmare, again.

For three nights, the same dream. The same thoughts, the same image burned in his mind. The harrowing events at Icefall Cave back at Four Island somehow seemed both fresh and a distant memory at the same time. He'd like to forget. He'd wished fervently for it all to be just a dream, or a horror show he puts on when he lets his imagination run wild. Then he could dismiss it and be free of the consequences.

But no, it had happened. It had happened and Boy had been directly responsible for the outcome. And he wished it was him instead. He should have paid the price for his foolishness, not Millie.

It was this deep, embedded bitterness that pushed him to dive into the whirlpool after his lapras, but Erina had stopped him. She held on to him and he fell exhausted and defeated. What happened after that was fuzzy at best: they were in the cavern of True Ice, then outside, then all the way back at Professor Oak's lab in Pallet Town.

He remembered a vague offer from Daisy for lodging, but he refused abruptly. Though he intended to be well-meaning, the terrible experience of losing Millie had him come off as impetuous and reproachful. He simply did not want to desecrate a Champion's home. So he ended up in a tiny compartment at the lab instead.

This was where he laid now, as the first rays of the sunrise peeked out and brightened his window. This light lacked the warmth and charm he had experienced a few days prior. To Boy, it was just a signal of morning now. Another day without Millie.

There was a special meeting today. One that Boy knew was important, but he could not summon the energy to care. He would be there, if nothing else than as moral support for Erina. She mentioned that the Elite Four themselves would attend, and that there would be some sort of psychic test. The Boy from before would have been beside himself with anticipation.

A long, hot shower did little to lift his spirits, but at least he was clean. He changed into new garments: grey pants, a brown shirt, and a black oversized hoodie. He lingered over the pile of sympathy gifts given to him by the people of Pallet – trainer clothing, accessories, pokémon toys – and ignored the cards and notes of condolences attached to them.

Boy sighed deeply before opening the door.

For a protracted moment, he considered staying in the room alone, blinds drawn and with nothing but his thoughts and regrets. He wrestled with the decision, and he recognised it was uncharacteristic of him to spend this much time on something so... frivolous.

His stomach growled in response. Scowling, he turned the handle roughly and stomped down the hallway towards the canteen.

This early in the day, the canteen was blessedly empty. Boy prepared a bowl of cereal and a tall glass of juice. A low-effort meal that kept his hands busy and calmed him down a bit. He sat down and ate slowly, looking straight ahead but not really seeing.

"Morning, Boy."

Boy grunted in response automatically. Then his brain recognized the voice and he blinked.

It was Erina. She yawned and scratched her head, her hair unkempt and puffy, as she made herself some breakfast. The sounds of utensils clinking and appliances being used reached Boy's ears, and the scents that wafted over told him exactly what she had decided to eat this morning: eggs on toast with a cup of tea. It was better than his soggy bowl of cereal.

"How are you feeling?" Erina asked gently as she sat down across from him.

"Fine."

Erina studied Boy a short moment, then began eating. Boy felt relieved and thanked his friend by shovelling a large spoonful of his breakfast into his mouth.

They ate in silence. Once they were done, and before she could react, Boy grabbed Erina's empty plate and cup to go along with his bowl and glass, and washed them at the sink.

Erina placed her hand on his shoulder as he worked. He did not shrug her off as he had done on the first day. He appreciated her temperate compassion.

One of the lab technicians bustled in. "There you are! Professor Oak would like to see you two in his office pronto."

Oak's office was in the other wing of the laboratory. Boy and Erina nodded in thanks and hurried along, and entered their mid-point just as a small commotion was occurring.

"I demand an audience with the Professor!"

Boy and Erina turned to look as the young man's loud voice carried through the lobby area.

"I apologize, but Professor Oak is indisposed at the moment," the receptionist replied serenely.

The young man was unsatisfied with that answer.

Boy observed the outfit the white-haired boy was wearing: apparel following a red-and-black theme, and all the equipment of a pokémon trainer. He noticed the higher quality and finer details, and he was certain the whole ensemble had cost a pretty penny. This person was dressed in the finest regalia – he had spared no expense.

"Well, how am I expected to begin my Journey without a starter?" he hissed.

Boy winced as a sharp, stabbing pain flashed through his chest.

The receptionist maintained eye-contact with the young man. "As I mentioned earlier, and as displayed prominently at the front of the lab, we are currently experiencing a shortage of starter pokémon. We refer all trainers to the Viridian City Gym during this period of unavailability.

"Your pokémon trainer licence has been registered and you have been provided with a pokédex. Might I suggest the shuttle that travels to Viridian? The next one leaves within the hour."

The young man scowled, but figured it was pointless to argue. He grabbed the pokédex off the counter and turned pridefully towards the exit. At that moment, his and Boy's eyes met, and there was a flicker, a tinge of something, that passed between them.

"Thank you for visiting the Oak Laboratory! Do come again," the receptionist said, her professionalism unwavering.

The young man's head swivelled back around and he gave her a withering look. The front doors of the lab opened up and he huffed out.

"Who was that?" Erina asked.

"Beats me," Boy replied. "Come on, the Professor is waiting."

Professor Oak's office was more crowded than Boy had expected. Erina entered first, bowed nervously, and pattered over to an empty chair. Boy followed her, almost freezing when he saw who else was in the room.

"Ah, Erina and Boy! Come in, come in, and let's get started," the Professor said. At the end of the meeting table, many different displays were being projected, and the Professor was busy organising them using a tablet device.

"These are the children? Hello," Elite Lance greeted the two of them, glancing at each one momentarily before turning his attention back to the screens. The others in attendance quietly welcomed them as well.

Boy blinked and replied belatedly, "Hello."

Sitting in the same room as him were Erina, Professor Oak, two members of the Elite Four, and someone he did not recognise, who was leaning back in his chair and making a point of being disinterested. When he noticed Boy, he became more attentive and sat up straighter.

"Now then, I think we've established that the organisation we now know as Team Rocket had been conducting illegal experiments on pokémon for years," Elite Lorelei began. "The overarching goal of such experimentation remains unclear, and we assume they were looking to strengthen pokémon in unnatural ways. But as we know, there is no substitute for dedicated training."

Lance nodded. "Team Rocket were extremely proficient in hiding their agenda. There were only a handful of reports about strange pokémon exhibiting abnormal behaviour, which were summarily quashed before the local law enforcement could launch any sort of investigation. There wasn't any credible indication of anything untoward until Champion Red single-handedly exposed them a few months ago."

Champion Red exposed Team Rocket? All by himself?

Professor Oak raised his hand. "Indeed, the executives at the top of the organisation were particularly concerned with keeping their operations a secret. The raids directed by the International Police found swathes of unrecoverable evidence. Computer systems wiped clean, physical documents destroyed, and the agents that managed to covertly join the organisation were found out and unfortunately–" he glanced at Boy and Erina, "–executed."

Oak continued: "While the raids at Rocket Game Corner, Silph Co. and Viridian Gym yielded nothing, we did manage to find something at the abandoned Pokémon Mansion on Cinnabar Island." A few images appeared on the screens. "This journal by a Dr. Fuji was the first clue. Champion Red mentioned finding this during his Journey."

"Sorry, he mentioned it?" Lorelei asked.

Oak frowned. "I misspoke. What I meant was he had made notes in his pokédex about it which he shared with me after becoming Champion."

Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

"Not much of a talker," Lance smiled, "but a true prodigy indeed."

Erina raised her hand meekly. "S-sorry, what did the journal and the notes say?"

"Right, so the journal has pages missing or charred, but from what I have managed to piece together, it alludes to a mythical pokémon that no-one has seen for at least a thousand years. Many believe it to be nothing more than a fairy tale. The world is a pretty big place, though–"

"–And you think this Dr. Fuji had actually found it," Lance finished. "He disappeared under mysterious circumstances, but there is some evidence that he went to work on a top-secret project for Team Rocket."

Boy's head was spinning. A nefarious organisation? Pokémon experiments? Top-secret projects? He was not sure where Erina and him fitted into it all, and it was a lot to take in.

A loud, drawling groan filled the room. "By the Legendaries, this is all so boring!"

The group turned together to face the source of the sound.

"I must be in some sort of infinitely-repeating nightmare, because I have sat through the same meeting so many times, I've lost count," the stranger said, his words dripping with condescension.

Lorelei folded her arms. "Repetition is necessary, Will, because if you haven't noticed, two new people have joined us today," she replied, with barely-concealed irritation.

"Oh, yes, I have noticed, Lorelei. And what interesting specimens they are...." The stranger – Will – stared at Erina and Boy with unnervingly-large eyes.

"You are to address Elite Lorelei properly at all times, Will," Lance said. "Though she has resigned her position in the League, she retains her title." His authoritative gaze disarmed the strange man in an instant.

Will swallowed. "Y-yes, sir." He turned to Lorelei and bowed apologetically. "I beg your pardon, Elite Lorelei."

Lorelei accepted with a curt nod, and that would have been the end of it, but then Will made a fresh accusation.

He glanced at Oak, hands clasped in a feigned attempt at concern. Boy immediately expected that whatever he was going to say next was nonsense. It seemed this man enjoyed stirring the pot.

"This Dr. Fuji," he said. "Isn't it true that you knew the man before his journal was found, Professor? I find it suspicious that you aim to bury your past association with him."

"I'm sorry, but can we just focus on the original point of this meeting, please?" Boy interjected, before Oak could respond. It surprised even him, but Will's behaviour and insinuations were riling him up and he had to say something.

A stunned silence descended on the room. Oak and Lorelei could not hide their mirth, and Erina audibly chuckled. Lance regarded Boy again, and thrummed his fingers on the desk.

"Thank you, Boy. So – our investigations into Team Rocket uncovered a project that involved this mythical pokémon, and a Dr. Fuji who at the time was world-renowned for his work in fossil revival. He disappeared about fifteen years ago, around the time that Giovanni became Champion.

"Giovanni, former Champion, Viridian City Gym Leader – and head of Team Rocket. When Champion Red challenged him for the Earth Badge, it appeared there was some history between them that forced the Gym Leader's hand, and he outed himself during the battle.

"He is still at large, and the International Police are hunting him down as we speak. The Pokémon League, or more specifically the Elite Four, have been tasked with figuring out what his organisation has been up to, and the extent to which his clandestine projects have progressed."

Lance paused. He had an unreadable look on his face as he turned to look at the kids.

"Team Rocket had quite a few special projects on the go, ranging from artificially boosting pokémon power, to extreme breeding practices, leading to strange eggs that, as far as we know, were never viable. There is some mention of fossil revival, and we can be confident that the tests they conducted strayed far beyond what is considered ethical.

"And then there's Project A. Of all the secret experiments Team Rocket carried out, this was one of the earliest and the most secretive of them all. In fact, all we knew, until Red discovered that journal, was its name. We had dismissed it as another failure and moved on. There were other peculiar things happening that warranted investigation."

Boy's palms became clammy the more Lance talked. He began putting the pieces together when the image of an old, faded photograph of a stone tablet appeared on the screen. Etched on the tablet, chipped and worn as it was, was the mythical pokémon that no-one alive had seen. He recognized that pokémon, at least one that had very similar features, and a chill ran down his spine.

It was Master. He looked an awful lot like that mythical pokémon, but he was bigger and more menacing.

Lance continued: "The Pokémon League had been receiving reports in recent years from a few gyms in Kanto and Johto about some newly-recruited gym trainers. They seemed to exhibit atypical behaviour, but since it was all spread out over time, we thought nothing of it.

"But the trend accelerated a few months ago, after Champion Red disappeared. So we launched a probe, visiting all sixteen gyms in both regions.

"For nearly every gym, a new, mystery trainer had joined, and every single one of them appeared seemingly out of nowhere with pokémon that were much stronger than anticipated. It was odd that they had such pokémon and had never obtained any prior gym badges. And, they immediately challenged the gym for membership instead of mastery.

"Most other trainers that became members usually joined because they'd either completed their Journey and wanted to settle down, or because going on a Journey simply wasn't something they could do, due to family commitments.

"These new trainers were a mystery. Their trainer licences were legitimate, but practically nothing else was known about them. We hit a wall, so that was where we left things, until now."

While Lance was talking, Professor Oak tapped and swiped a few times on his device, and the screens filled with images of the trainer licences.

Erina shifted nervously in her seat. Boy recognized these trainers, and it showed. Lorelei leaned forward in her seat, and motioned for him to speak.

Boy swallowed, his mouth dry. He was parched. He poured himself and Erina a glass of water each from the pitcher on the table, and they drank slowly as everyone else waited. As he emptied the glass, he felt his courage returning.

"I don't know anything about Team Rocket or this Giovanni person, but those trainers," he pointed at each one on the screens, "they were all a part of our school.

"I don't know why Master chose us, but we were all kidnapped at an early age. I don't remember my life before then," Boy checked with Erina, who nodded, "so I think we were made to forget.

"We spent years in training, for a singular purpose: to take on the Pokémon League. Master calls it his Grand Design. I have thought about it for a long time, how he intends to overthrow the government and why. He believes that gaining control of the Pokémon gyms in Kanto and Johto will give him the army he needs to enact a coup."

Boy cleared his throat with a small cough. Talking about Master was difficult, not just because of what he did to Millie, but because doing so sometimes caused a headache.

Suppressing a grimace, he took a deep breath. He was going to provide some details about the school, how it moved nomadically through the Kanto region to avoid detection, the teachers, the pokémon, and how he slowly realised that it wasn't a school after all – it was really a boot camp for creating loyal and obedient soldiers.

A growing grief began to take hold of him. These abductions had altered the course of the lives of so many children. Families broken and forever in mourning, like Erina's parents, and his own. Their early childhood had been stolen from them. They had been kept secret and hidden for years, and now, because he'd resisted Master's control, everything was coming to light.

With Millie gone, he felt obligated to tell them everything. What Master did was wrong, and he had to be stopped. But he'd been silent too long, and Professor Oak picked up the thread.

"Well, please forgive my penchant for speculation, but based on the current evidence, and Boy's testimony, I have a theory that ties everything together."

"Please go on, Professor," said Lance.

Oak took a few moments to collect his thoughts. "Team Rocket funded Project A, with a renowned fossil researcher, Dr. Fuji, at the helm. My guess is that they were successful, and it resulted in a pokémon with human-level intelligence. Said pokémon escaped, but its creators did not think it would survive out in the world, and the project was deemed a failure and shut down, never to be mentioned again.

"However, this artificial pokémon did survive, and has remained hidden and scheming all this time. It means to take control of the Pokémon League, but it knows it cannot do it alone. It perpetrated despicable acts, abducting children, brainwashing them, and recruiting them for its dark plan. But it has made a grave mistake, one which we can use to our advantage."

The Professor tapped a few keys and brought up something new on the main screen. "There are three battle options that are officially recognised by the Pokémon League when a trainer decides to face a gym."

He put up one finger. "The most common method, the one that a good eighty-six percent of all trainers choose first, is challenging for mastery. Becoming Champion is an enduring dream that has captivated trainers for many years. Under our current system, an aspirant must defeat the eight official gyms and obtain eight mastery badges. This gives them the right to confront the Elite Four, the greatest trainers in all of Kanto and Johto."

Oak signalled his esteem at Lance and Lorelei, who both bowed in deference. Boy felt the atmosphere in the meeting room change, a deep sense of reverence emanating from the two members of the Elite Four. But it dissipated quickly, as the Professor continued to speak.

"After completing the gauntlet, they can then battle the current Champion. If they win, they become the new Champion!" Oak winked at Boy. Boy's guilt welled up inside and he sunk deeper into his chair. Oak coughed and whispered an apology, but Boy said nothing.

"Uh, the second method is challenging for membership." He put up a second finger. "Here, a trainer appreciates the philosophy of the gym and therefore would like to join. He or she would normally battle either the Gym Leader or the Second, but some gyms have recently introduced more novel examination criteria. The 'gym battle' is specifically designed to assess whether the challenger embodies the gym's ideologies and principles. In any case, if successful, the trainer receives a badge of membership and is officially recognised as representing the gym."

Professor Oak smiled as he raised a third finger. "And the last method is challenging for leadership. This method is not well-known, and is a holdover from when the League was first created. Historically, it saw much use when the gym system was first introduced, but fell out of favour once all of the gyms were fully established. Even so, it is every bit as legitimate as the other two.

"There has been just one instance in modern times of it being invoked: the change in the leadership of the Saffron City Gym. Sabrina, then a mere child, simply walked up to the Fighting Dojo and defeated the Karate Master. It sent shockwaves through the League, and, albeit belatedly, the rules were amended to require the challenger to be a member of the gym first."

Boy blinked. "So you're saying Master's entire plan hinges on an archaic rule, and since those trainers all challenged for membership, it was unusual enough to be flagged?"

"Precisely."

"Elite Lance?" Will awaited on the dragon trainer with an almost pleading face.

Lance sighed, and looked apologetically at the children. "We will conduct a short psychic test on you now."

The kids nodded their assent.

"Thank you," Will said. He pulled out a pokéball and released a hypno. "Children, it is clear that this 'Master' you speak of has impressive psychic ability. That he has brainwashed so many of you, in a manner where the effects remain over a protracted period of time, is frankly preposterous, it is simply unbelievable, and I need to see it with my own two eyes."

Boy and Erina fidgeted awkwardly, Will's steely gaze seeming to penetrate right through them. He focused on Boy first. The hypno's eyes glowed an eerie purple, fixing Boy in place with his eyes open. Will stretched his arm out, guiding his power as it descended over his target. Boy felt a strange undercurrent forming in his thoughts, a foreign vibration that was distressing and unwelcome, and he pushed it back as hard as he could.

"Oh, my."

Will tried again, but Boy was familiar now, and he expunged him in just a few seconds. His headache had worsened, but at least his thoughts were his own.

Will glanced at the adults in the room, and a look of recognition passed among the four of them.

He turned to Erina next. "Are you ready?"

Erina nodded. The instant the hypno stared at her, she grabbed her head. Boy watched as she bit her lip to keep herself from crying out. The young girl moaned, tears escaping her eyes. Will leered with a smugness that told Boy he was enjoying this, and he stood up in objection.

Lance unfolded his arms. "Enough, Will."

The hypno's eyes were still glowing, and Will licked his lips. Erina could not bear it and shrieked in pain. Boy pulled her away from the hypno and covered her eyes, but Will's psychic control remained.

"Will!"

The man grudgingly released his grip on Erina's mind, and returned his hypno to its pokéball.

"Oops!"

Lorelei looked about ready to murder him. Boy seethed while comforting Erina, who sobbed quietly. Will shrugged ruefully and clasped his hands on the table again.

"Well, the boy is Dark, or nearly so, and the girl is still under compulsion."

Boy was furious. "What the fu–"

"So the effects of the brainwashing expired over time due to his nature, but others will require special treatment to have it removed safely," Lance mused aloud.

"Boy, Erina, thank you for coming to us. You have provided valuable information that might well save all of Kanto and Johto. My deepest apologies for the unseemly behaviour of my colleague here."

Elite Lance got up, stood at attention, and bowed low in front of the kids. They sat there speechless.

After further deliberation, it was decided that Erina would be taken to Saffron City to see Sabrina. Being the world's strongest psychic, she would be able to completely remove Master's brainwashing. Will turned his nose up pridefully, but even he admitted she was the best person for the job.

Their classmates, who were still entirely within Master's control, would be handled carefully – no-one knew exactly what would happen if there was a confrontation.

The meeting adjourned and Boy skulked back to his room. It had taken a lot out of him, and he needed to be alone.

Now that Erina was leaving, he felt a mix of emotions. He almost suggested coming along with her, but a wall of grief loomed over him, chastising him for wanting when he hadn't really faced Millie's death and his part in it.

A knock on the door pulled him out of his reverie. He expected Erina, come to say her goodbyes, but it wasn't her. It was Elite Lance.

"Hello."

Boy nodded mutely. What do you say when the leader of the Elite Four visits unexpectedly?

Lance cleared his throat. "I heard about what happened to you, Boy."

What happened to him? A terrible thing happened to Millie, and it was his fault! He tried to keep his face neutral, but failed. Lance noticed his dark countenance.

"A bit of unsolicited advice. What happened was undoubtedly horrific, and you will feel culpable, and you are allowed to hate yourself as much as you like."

Boy froze. That word. Was it hatred he felt? A deep-seated loathing he harboured inside of himself? Somehow, hearing someone else say it shifted something in him.

"You should ask yourself whether Millie would want you to wallow in that hate. Personally, I know lapras to be highly compassionate and tender-hearted, and I am sure Millie was the same." His tone was stern, yet warm. "What would she say to you, if she were here? Only you know the answer to that question.

"I can't say I know exactly what you are feeling, Boy. Though, I do have a suggestion, and I provide it without judgement, and I hope you consider it earnestly.

"Grieve. Mourn your profound, sad loss, and say goodbye. I've found the best place to do that is at Pokémon Tower in Lavender Town. To be among others who have experienced what you have experienced.

"Light a lamp in memory of Millie, and bid her farewell."

Boy listened quietly. Millie would have blasted him with so many Water Guns if she knew he was floundering in misery for even a second because of her. He cast his mind back to the Seafoam Islands, and the times when he'd been punished by Master and left to brave the cold, windswept cliffs alone.

Millie would pop up and they'd go on short, fun trips. He smiled slightly, reminiscing about catching flailing goldeen and seaking with his bare hands while trying to maintain his balance on Millie's back, or using schools of tentacool as target practice and escaping the wrath of the parental tentacruel. Making mischief with the sunbathing seel and dewgong, and even witnessing a slowpoke evolve into a slowbro after it fished up a shellder with its tail.

Boy sighed. The guilt was strong, but his recollection of the adventures with his lapras had softened them somewhat. Lance was right, it was better to acknowledge the loss than dwell on it, and Millie would expect him to remember the good and the bad in equal measure.

Lance let out a breath. "I apologize if I have overstepped in doling out–"

Boy fought back the tears, and whispered, "Thank you."

An hour later, outside the front entrance to the Oak Lab, both Erina and Boy considered with trepidation their mode of transport. Elite Lance pulled out an ultraball and released his dragonite. It was monstrous. He provided two pairs of flight gear – a leather helmet, a pair of goggles, mittens, and, surprisingly, a full-body aviation suit – and waited while they were slipped on.

Professor Oak took Boy aside and again offered his condolences. After talking with Lance, Boy was more amenable, and the relief on the Professor's face was obvious.

When Oak pulled out his pokédex, Boy frowned.

"No, Professor, I cannot accept it. I don't feel worthy," he said, leaving no room for discussion.

Boy, Erina, and Lance mounted the dragonite, said their goodbyes, and lifted off.