(I only write for this book at like 3 am on a random Saturday also I kinda forgot exactly where I was going with this and my writing style might have changed I have no clue)

Tom laughs maniacally while driving 90 down the broken down road "sure is bumpy I wonder why"

Bob twists his head so fast to look at Tom "oh I don't know maybe the fact that we're on a road with 5 potholes every feet."

"That can't be it Bob it must be something else, ah yes the sky gods have cursed us that's why."

"Okay first of all Tom if the sky gods were real and cursed us why in the holy cheese balls would that even effect us if their the god of the skys."

"I don't know Bob ask the sky gods I don't make the rules you know, I think we should be close to the uhm what were we looking for anyway."

"Didn't you drag us here for this in the first place how did you forget. Anyway we're looking for the old file remember the one you wanted that started this whole thing. Look right over yonder that's our old building." Said Bob ever so gracefully, his bald head shining in the sun

"Bob I don't know where over yonder is but I bet it's that highly radioactive looking building with those hippies in front of it so you should put back on your hazmat suit. Your head is blinding me put it on now."

"Jeez fine" As Bob starts to put back on his suit Tom drives closer "Do you even know how to brake, probably not with how you've been driving."

Tom looks back at him and speeds up "pfft I totally know how to do that."

"Tell me the truth Tom" said Bob every so camly as he strangles Tom

Tom speeds up more in response "alright, I SAID ALRIGHT, stop choking me man. I do know how to brake butttt this cars brake is kinda broken but we are almost out of gas so I'm just gonna drive full speed to the building and hope it runs out then."

Bob stops strangling him (for now) and jumps into the back seat "first of all your a idiot and second of all you forgot about momentum."

Tom waves bobs claims away "pshshway, we won't hit anything except for a hippie." The car rams into a hippie slamming it's body into the building sending it's head flying into Tom's hands "AHHHHH I KILLED A HIPPIE, actually why am I screaming."

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Bob grabs a bat from the trunk "Bob that's a zombie and it's leaking brain juice into my drink, wait I'm Bob why did I call you Bob. God Tom is your stupidness contagious."

Tom screams like a baby and yeets the head at Bob. Bob smacks it with the bat sending it flying into the building wall only for it to bounce off towards Tom again. But this time Tom was prepared and attempted a cool jump out of the car but his leg out stuck on the car door and he face planted.

"Jeez that looks like it hurt bobby, wait God dammit I'm Bob. I swear it's like I inhaled these radioactive fumes or something."

"Well hmurgucsuf droosiletib doofinesnrith" Tom tries to speak with his face in the dirt

"What? Also get up the zombies, I mean hippies are coming this way. Idiot probably doesn't even know what zombies are."

Tom springs up "hey I know what zombies are they are green and big and ugly like the hulk exactly like that zombie right over yonder that's looking directly at us and now it's running towards us god it's slow with it's small legs

, oh it's getting closer. We should run" Tom turns around only to find Bob already sprinting towards the building "Hey wait for me."

Bob has already made it inside while Tom is rushing towards the door and decides to do be cool and do a slide under it as it's closing and he makes it but slides into a wall "Why did you even do that Tom, I didn't even close the door yet. Actually you closed the door yourself, you slammed your body into the button that closed the door."

Tom groggily stands up "let's just find the file before I gain a cacuasin."

Bob supports Tom as they walk towards the records room "I think you mean concussion and I you definitely have one. Might explain how stupid you are. Hey swipe your card to open the door."

Tom swipes his card against the door but misses a couple of times before finally succeeding "Hey I'm not stupid mom said I'm-.

" Bob cuts him off while dragging him inside the room "Special? And let me guess she said the other kids didn't deserve you." Bob places Tom on a couch while he looks for the file

Tom tries to make himself comfortable on the bed "No I mean yes she did but she also said I'd make great comedy relief. Anyway the file is on the second floor if you didn't know. Toss me your bat while you go get it."

"Fine." Bob throws Tom his bat and he walks upstairs for the file. Meanwhile Tom is swinging the bat around when suddenly a zombie slams it's head against a window and crawls on saying "brains brains" and walks towards Tom before suddenly walking upstairs "hmm I feel insulted but I don't know why. Well can't let you harm my good old buddy Bob. Luckily I'm poficebiet profiscent, hm how do you pronounce this word proficient I don't know how to say it. What was I doing again, oh yeah." Tom swings the bat directly at the zombies head knocking it straight off and out the window the zombie came in from. "Homerun, I think that's right meh I don't know can't really watch sports now can't refresh my memory."

Tom shouts for Bob "You find the file yet oh buddy oh pal?" Bob shouts back "Yeah yeah I got it I'm coming I'm coming."

(You guys should share this book with people who would like it. Pretty please)