Here I am, sitting on a pedestal as a weird orb while this floating box is trying to fix or find someone to fix the Affinity Test. I just stared, dumbfounded. Not even an hour passed, and I managed to break something by being here, human ingenuity at its finest. Seeing all those subcategories tied to my affinity, I am just as confused as the System. It’s just a bunch of tags. Why does the Test crash because of it? Usually, how these IF/THEN statements work, if the question is ‘true,’ then it spits out a pre-programmed answer. If ‘false,’ then it gives a different answer. If given multiple ‘trues,’ it provides the first or more appropriate answer depending on how deep the Test established the parameters. Since the Affinity Test was affected this badly, being outside the parameters is an understatement. I bite the bullet and reluctantly ask. “Are many types in one affinity normal?” I braced for the bad news and it appeared in floating text format.
Contacting Administration…
Failed to contact.
No. The majority of affinities have one subtype, the rest are affinities with multiple subtypes numbering within 2 to 5. There had been cases of Affinities with six or more. Core ID 460,563.00 has All affinity subtypes along with unknown ones and therefore, unable to identify what affinity the User has and can not proceed through initialization.
I was shocked. Did I just SQL the Affinity Test and killed it? This made me suspicious of my origin even more. Where did these tags come from then? Welp. Unless there’s a go-around, I’m dead before the starting line. But I won’t give up that easily. “Is there a way to get rid of these subtypes?” After trying to connect again, the System responded, and all I get is a big fat nope. These tags are tied to my Core, therefore, tied to my existence. Getting rid of one is like taking a fragment of my psyche. I’ll save that option in the circle file and move on. If only we could just simplify things. “Ugh. Is there Anything you can do to make this work? How about skipping the Test altogether?” I waited for an answer, and a box appeared once again.
Contacting Administration…
Failed to contact.
I apologize. I don’t have clearance for bypassing the standard Affinity Test. If Core ID 460,563.00 can not qualify, then The Personal Core Identity System must contact higher administration or delete the Core.
Filing For Termination.
“Hmm. How about you contact the person who made it- Wait, did you say delete?” That last part didn’t sink in until a few seconds later. Besides losing my psyche, being deleted for a fault of not my own is close to the NOPE category. Now I need a solution, quickly, or I really am dead. “Hold on! Is the administration the highest level of authority?” I am waiting for a response. A bell sang out.
...Yes, nothing other than the Elders have a higher rank than the Administration.
I roll with it, and I keep spewing words, delaying what might be the proceedings and processes heading towards my nonexistence. “If so, is it a hierarchy? Can you call other ranks of authority?” Another chime.
...Correct.
This gave me a bit of hope, and in a rush of inspiration, I might get out of this unscathed. I just need time to prepare for my strike. “Then just find the nearest authority down the ladder. They might have the power to aid you.” This process needs to move on, so why try to call the CEO when the site manager is near? Like calling the board of directors just for a customer complaint, it’s inefficient and wastes time on the vital work for those higher up to focus on. Plus, I’m getting a ‘gut’ feeling that something is going on in the background. I crossed my ‘fingers’ as The System’s melodic tone sounded out.
…
Contacting Administration.
Failed to Contact.
Contacting Arc System Control.
Failed to Contact.
Contacting Kingdom Core
Error. Lost Connection
Contacting nearest Deities.
Waitlist Full…
“My, My. It seems like the higher-ups are busy. If this keeps up, you probably would have the highest authority out of both of us.” I state, letting my plan slip a bit from my tone. The System seems to freeze a bit, most likely catching on to what I said. Then the boxes started flying out in frantic desperation.
!!!
Contacting local Divine Messengers.
No known access to Divine Message ATS.
Contacting Underworld Leadership.
No contact, unresponsive.
Contacting The Mist.
Currently on leave.
Contacting literally anyone else.
No known access before initialization…
“WELP. It looks like you are out of luck. Ask the Elders for temporary direct access so you can override the Test. I’m pretty sure what everyone is doing is Very Important. They won’t mind if we do our own thing. We’re very responsible.” My words drip like snake venom as I hope the big guys upstairs would agree. The System just sat there, knowing that it couldn’t go against its programming. The screen glitches a bit in irritation while appearing with this gem.
Contacting Elders for authorization.
Authorization… granted!?
Message was given: Fac cito. Multa alia ad inuestigandum.
Whew! Termination avoided. I needed to jump through some logic holes and some of my knowledge of corporate BS but I managed to squeak by. I spoke victoriously to The System. “Well? Come on! What’s the next step? We don’t have all day.” The screen appeared with a defeated wind chime. The System can now do maintenance on the Affinity Roster and add necessary patches for my unique situation, including some testing on our part. But I think it won’t take that long, right?
I was wrong. This has taken TEN HOURS. Why? This is mainly to find the required mobs compatible with my broken affinity. Yes. The main thing holding back the necessary patch to fix this buggy mess of a test was what type of creatures were supposed to keep me company in this world. And trust me, we tried everything, literally since I have the most sub-affinities required, but due to the newly discovered sub-affinities, thanks to me, we could never use standard regular mobs.
It’s like trying to gain applications to a high-end, high-skill set, PhD-required job opening, but you only have middle-school to high-school level applicants. They will never be enough because, in my case, my life could be on the line. If the so-called ‘interns’ and I don’t click, they could just rebel, take over my core, and use me as a fuel source. The System went into more graphic detail in that part. So I couldn’t afford to rush through this. Even though, at this point, it’s mainly just guesswork. We already went through ‘Elemental Monstrocity’ towards the more esoteric ‘Celestial Draconid.’ They didn’t even come close to the 90% compatibility needed towards my affinity.
Soon, the monotony of bell chimes and brute force guessing faded into the background as I began to think about my situation for the first time since I woke up in this world. I try to look back into my previous memories of Earth or what’s left of it. I just noticed how much I could not remember my past. My name? I only know the first letter is J but not the rest. Is it Jack? Jake? Josh? Jeremiah? Hell, maybe it might be Jimal. Past experiences? If it counts as getting a useless degree, a deadbeat job, and an unhealthy video game addiction. I’ve got to say. It’s not the type of experience one should look back on with fondness. After that, nothing concrete. How did I get here? Even I want to know, mainly because having to be a stone for the foreseen future without knowing how I got here will eat away at me as time goes on. Did I die, or was I sleeping at the time? How did I transfer in the first place? Did I reincarnate? Was this punishment for my transgressions? Knowing I won’t get answers at this time, I drifted off to the next subject.
My family and loved ones? Sadly, I only just know some experiences with them. That one actually hurt more than the other lost memories. My blood and bonds are as descriptive as a coworker giving small snippets of their home life while going out for a drink: a Mother, a Father, Step-Father, one Step-Sister and three Brothers. No names, just a vague idea of what kind of people they were. Other than the eldest brother (dickhead), I left all of them on good terms. My Mother protected me while my Dad taught me the tools to be a grown-up as a child. My Step-Dad taught me to live life and be independent. My Step-Sis taught me to have a keen mind and malicious thinking toward those who throw their weight around. My Brothers propped me up and supported my choices, and I to them. Even to my oldest brother before he left. They were so fun growing up. Playing games like Mario Party and Pokemon was the best part of these memories. I remember step by step how my little brother showed me how to get the event Pokemon in Platinum. It impacted me emotionally. These memories are precious, even if fractured, and I will not let their kindness and love be forgotten.
“Man, I wish my brothers could see this. I’m going to be a dungeon. I can, no. I will make their dreams come to life.” After the declaration, the bell dings ramp up in decibels to get my attention, the System seems to find something, and it flashes a few screens with “HEY!” to get me to see them. The System, now having my undivided attention, makes an announcement.
Spark surge detected!
Your Spark and Affinity just synchronized, if only for a moment.
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
Hypothesis: The User’s memories hold data on creatures that match current affinity, and must be thoroughly analyzed to find compatibility.
Starting Memetic Transfer, please don’t resist.
This alarms me, why does this tone give me the feeling that this won’t be pleasant? “Wait. Could I have a say in this- AAAAAGGGHH!! What the hell was that for!? I thought mind reading was painless!” The System ignores my question and puts up an “Analyzing sample. Please Wait.” sign and I sit here nursing an orb ache. I think they did that on purpose, not like it wasn’t deserved…maybe. Even so, what creatures? Is it the animals back home? How do they have to do with Undead and Angels? This place is too high-fantasy for that, so what could be compatible with all of these categories?
“Could it be when I was reminiscing?” I say to myself, as now it has become a habit. What part of those memories prompted the System to mind probe me? All of them are too damaged to get anything substantial. “Unless it was talking about.. No god damn way...” My slow reasoning just got rewarded by a, now familiar, message notification.
%$&#!Entity ID Unknown^&(*$
Syn^&#nization Over 90% Compatibility, Creature ID can be used with current affinity. Contacting Administration for Identification.
Failed to Contact.
$H!# Using Temporary Privileges to categorize new Monster IDs for over 900 unknown entities, may need professional input.
Contacting Known Experts
Failed to Contact Goddess of Nature, God of Monsters/Mayhem, and God of Judgment.
B&F#*&C#! Contacting the nearest Nature Core.
Connected.
Please Wait...
Discourse Ended.
Conclusion: With the aid of a nearby Nature Core, and with the temporary authority given by our great Elders, the Personal Core Input System now bestows the User the authorization to utilize the new Monster Type/s Below
NEW MONSTER TYPE!: Pokemon
I couldn’t believe it, even though it unfolded right in front of me. I double-checked. I triple-checked. It is as plain as day. Over 900!? That’s the world dex! As far as I know, I’m not that obsessed over Pokemon, except for the knowledge of every pokemon move. The different regions and the trainers inhabiting them. The different EV point allocations. The optimal personality of each ‘mon, and the minute changes to the meta for balancing purposes for each gen that Gamefreak tries to make but add a stupid OP pokemon that ruins their attempt- Okay. Maybe I’m a bit obsessed. But still, the choice is right there! Do they even belong in this world? Well, of course not if The System doesn’t know them. Should they even be here? “Well, I don’t care. Pokemon is awesome, and the rest of the world should experience them as I have.” I made my choice. I mean, the only obvious choice. “I choose Pokemon as my monster type. Please make it happen.”
Monster Affinity Chosen!
Loading New Monster ID…
Sending necessary data to the User via Memetic Transfer. Please don’t scream this time.
Moment. Ruined. “Oh, You-! AAAAGGGHHH FUXK! Can you be any more forceful with that!?”
Yes.
“..Please don’t. I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you.” The System was satisfied with my apology, and the box disappeared with a chime, giving me time to think it through. While that happens, what I thought was a wall, a door opens up to a new room, kicking up the thick dust with a lively breeze. From my shabby pedestal and can only see that it’s empty, it doesn’t have the same light source (which, in hindsight, could be me), and it opens up to a cave with many stalagmites and stalactites that form throughout the tunnel. They drip with mineral water with an echo, like saliva from a beast’s maw, beckoning those in the cave to dare come closer to the dungeon below and meet their fate.
Like I’m going to do anything insidious, I’m as intimidating as a pomeranian. If that is my dungeon room, how do I move, you know, without freaking Legs? “Um, System. How the hell could I get to the next room?” After a bit of time, the System answered my call, said I just needed to “Will” it, and left without any other explanation. Thanks, I guess. I took their advice and just thought about going there. Surprise! It didn’t work. Now I sit there like a moron, believing very hard to go there when it’s still a few meters away from me, probably feeling pity for my sorry display.
“This is going nowhere! What am I supposed to do!? Pull the room Towards me!?” After my proclamation, I get a heavy feeling of vertigo, and my vision moves at blinding speed to the room. “Oh God, Stop!” As abruptly it started, my view halted in the center of the room. I was looking into post jettison. I sat there as my mind caught up a second later. If I had a stomach, it would have been left behind, spilling its contents in the Core Room and begging for death. I only felt speed. There was no acceleration to know when I started and how I ended where I am. For my human mind, it’s jarring, to put it lightly. “Why, out of anything of my previous body, is it that I kept my motion sickness when I’m now a floating rock?” I take the time to cool off and then practice the movement a bit more and retake a break when I feel like I’m going to hurl my non-existent lunch. At least I know that I have a full gyroscopic flight.
After some more practice, I finally got to brass tacks. Time to Make a Dungeon! With the information the System (forced) gave to me, I ponder how a dungeon could be made. I scan over the details and see It actually is pretty straightforward. Just think of a monster, item, room, or event and get a selection screen. This screen would give the name, cost, status, and description, in that order. It even has a filter and search option. After that, just pay the Spark amount, and poof, it appears. The only problem with this is that I have no idea what Spark could be. I asked the System what it is due to the information they gave me before doesn’t have anything to do with Spark.
Spark is the fuel of creation, a lifeforce if you will. It is emitted passively by primal, sentient, and sapient life. Anything that lives can use Spark. To grow, level up, create, and destroy.
For Core ID 460,563.00 not know such trivial facts is concerning for the User’s long-term success.
“Wow.” If I had eyes, they would have rolled by now. “Thanks, GLaDOS. I feel informed already.”
I am The Personal Core Input System. Not GLaDOS.
“Yeah, not calling you that.” As it was too long of a name and for the sake of my sanity and lack of patience, I rather have an easier name to remember. Didn’t that bootup call The System with a file designation? “Didn’t you call yourself- What is it? Cherub.exe? Why not use that?” They then answered my question.
That was an execution file made by the Administration, please take time to remember the System’s full designation.
“It’s official, your name is now Cheri. I will call The System ‘Cheri’ henceforth until our time together ends.” Subsequently, The System seemed to take a bit to respond. As if dumbfounded.
You… You can’t do that!
“The Hell, I can’t. You’re Cheri now. If you don’t like it, take your complaints to HR. Hope you can get an appropriate response within 24 hours of sending.” I state in my best customer service voice. The screen immediately rang out in frustration and left. “I’ll let Cheri cool off. Now, some clean-up.” I Target the Core Room and the new room and got a prompt, I select Decor and choose the Clean Debris option, since it was just a bit of dust it got done with zero Spark. The room lit up and all the dust, dirt, and cobwebs were gone when the light parted and dissipated into motes. Satisfied with the spotless walls and floor, I look to the pedestal. There it holds my true self, the orb of my entire existence. I hover over to ponder it.
A bit earlier, I thought I just hovered myself all over the place, but it’s more like my POV just being moved through the entire dungeon, as long as I’m within my territory. The POV can even go through walls and ‘see’ the dungeon from the other side, kind of like no-clipping through a map in GMOD. All I need is a physics gun and buggy collision to get the whole experience. The bad part is that I can’t leave the Dungeon. The POV would hit an invisible wall, and my mind would hurt a bit. Probably a warning system to tell me to stay where I’m needed. No matter, I’m fine being in here. In this dark menacing cave with a straight-laced AI companion and no one else to talk to. But that is going to change. It’s time to summon my first mob.
… “It costs HOW MUCH!?” My starting Spark is around 100 points. One of the original Starters’ price tags is 800 Spark. Even a Pidgey costs about 625 Spark. My momentum stopped abruptly and I began to feel nauseous. How in the hell does Caterpie cost 500 Spark? If I had 500 Spark, I can get 100 Slimes or 20 Goblins. And here is the kicker, the stats of a Rattata is only as strong as a Goblin, but one costs 25 Spark and the other 625 Spark. Fuxk. “Ummm, Cheri. What In Garitina’s name are these prices!? Is the Shop bugged or something?” The System ‘Cheri’ appeared from whatever corner they were sulking in and told me that there is nothing wrong with the Shop Page. Pokemon is just that expensive.
The prices of creatures and items on the Internal Arc Market are designed to be fair and worth the appropriate amount. If the User’s Affinity were to be a bit different, The price would be magnitudes higher.
EX: Caterpie would have cost 1500 spark.
I stared at that number and my head started spinning. 1.5 thousand Spark!? For a caterpillar with string shot? With that fact planted in my mind, I panic a little bit. Yes, a two-thirds discount is great and all, but when even the weakest pokemon costs half of a grand with the said bargain, one would be put off to say the least. “Crap. What to do here?” I look at my spark counter once again to see if I started with 1,000 and I read it wrong, nope, still a 100.1… huh? “Do I generate Spark passively?” I ask. Cheri says yes. I’m at Tier 0, so I get 1 Spark per 12 hours. To increase passive generation, I need more creatures to inhabit the dungeon or go up a Tier. Both I can’t get right now. “Are there more methods to get more spark?” Cheri answers that only through absorbing things if 1) not of my dungeon in origin. And 2) something that is not on my material list yet. I can get Spark for Identifying them. The more unique or rare, the better. Like that could be helpful at this time. I can’t even leave the dungeon at all.
I digest this information. And look through the “Pokedex” to find anything to use. “If only it were as easy as getting a pokemon daycare.” I stop. And thought about what I said again. I then rush through the Shop and put in some tags. With the tags set, I only look for a second and then start to laugh. “HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” I probably scared Cheri with my manic laughing fit. I could have looked crazy at that moment. Hell, I most likely was insane at that point.
User. Why are you acting hysterical? This would not look good on us as a Dungeon Master.
If I had a mouth, I would be grinning ear to ear. “I got it! We’ll summon our first monster, right here and now!” Cheri’s Bell sang in surprise, and they stayed silent and watched from the side. I fly into the new room and prepare a dirt floor. Make sure that the ground and air are not too cold. I notice that it is on the chillier side, so I buy an elephant bird nest and place it in the room. The straw and plumage that form the nest insulate the warmth of whatever rests inside it. I then place a normal campfire in the center of the dirt-covered room to warm up the temperature, creating suitable conditions for my final step.
Cheri is presumably lost at this point, not knowing what I’m planning. After some tall grass here and there, the room is complete. All of that put together costs 20 Spark, but it would be worth it. “Watch and learn, Cheri. The ultimate lifeform that will put our Dungeon in history! Now, come new creation! Make your mark on this World!” I press 'buy' from a pre-opened tab to pay the 80 Spark needed, bringing my total to near empty.
My Core starts to glow with iridescence, the light then begins to form and coil into strings, and then the fabric of prismatic brilliance. It then made its way to the room to form in the bird’s nest. An oblong object takes place, and the light glows so bright.. *Pop*. A brown egg with a tan mark takes its place, and the light disappears. Cheri is silent.
…
…Elders help me.