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Pleonexia
I kill, therefore I am

I kill, therefore I am

Was the urge to murder justified? Was it not just a deviation from the slaughter of animals? Why was it condemned as immoral from the eyes of society, but could be argued in court? Did morals not apply under special circumstances? Would it not mean that murder in fact was justified, but simply depended on the circumstances?

So, was the corpse before me justified as well? I didn't mean to kill him, circumstances led to this encounter, others would call it possession by a demon—by something evil, but I call it the human mind. His neck twisted around with the face pointing to the back, wrangled like a nail's body turning in on itself spiraling up towards the head. The body had to disappear, but I hated the process of ridding the corpse. It felt a little too bothersome and too time consuming for a simple Sunday night, especially since the time had already hit 10 pm—after all I had to wake up for work tomorrow.

I swiftly lifted the body up onto my shoulder and carried him towards the woods. The northville woods were famous for allegedly harboring monsters—creatures that could subdue any beast, entities which feast upon women and children, but only toyed on men. Was I afraid of meeting such a foe? No, I was not, because true monsters resided in apartment complexes, drove in luxurious cars and got coffee in the morning.

As I wandered deeper into the cold impenetrable woods, the trees seemed to close in like one massive entity the further I went and the further I went, the heavier the weight was on my shoulder additionally the bloody scent was increasingly covered, with the smell of rotten wood. Shadows seemed to dart around the forest, with curious glances penetrating my body, until there was a small spot, enough to be ignored, but big enough to be hidden in, a place where all the shadows gathered in the distance.

I dropped the body against a tree which rustled in protest, I started to dig beneath the soft forest ground, the insects which nested in all the dead leaves crawled between my fingers—squirming against the unknown warm sensation, as if they licked the dead off my hands.

The remaining light had now completely abandoned the forest, the grave was now finished—one last time, I lifted the corpse up onto my shoulder and discarded it, into the makeshift grave, with a loud thud noise the corpse fell face first—or at least where the face would've normally been located at.

The dirt was swiftly plunged into the hole with a few hard pushes, the leaves that I had removed earlier, were now hiding a secret of the forest, guarding the body against the undeniable truth.

The forest was now my eternal accomplice.

I slowly walked the way back towards the uncared street which was now completely drenched in darkness. The forest gave occasional rustling sounds, which seemed like screams and pleas of help—screams that called out to something—someone, yet no one could hear them no matter how bitterly someone screamed.

The only thing that remained were the bloodstains tainting the cold wet street, but on a road next to a forest, it would be of no surprise if it was the blood of some animal—a deer, a bunny or perhaps a fox? Who cared what it was?

I stepped into the heated car of mine and turned the key, leading myself out of this area, which was cursed with solitude. After a short drive, I had finally returned home and entered the security code of my house '4444', but before I entered, I looked for the single strand of hair which I had stuck between the door and the doorframe before I left, it was still there to my disappointment. I flipped the light switch on and everything was the same, everything was untouched, I had burned for some rivalry—for some true excitement, but alas I was left with disappointment.

I took off my leather shoes and placed them into the only empty spot of my shoe rack, with all my other shoes which only slightly deviated in color.

It was already late, as I prepared for bed, I first took a hot shower to remove all the blood and dirt which had collected on myself, afterwards I brushed my teeth and continued with my skincare products—I care for appearance, a presentable appearance is of utmost importance.

I trailed down my gray hallway, which carried different crimson paintings on white canvases—some with velvet splashes, some with bold crimson brushstrokes and some even were a combination of both, the paintings calmed me. I entered the bedroom down the hall where my bed was made in the morning. As I entered my bedsheets, I set an alarm clock for 7 am, enough time to get ready, buy breakfast and drive to arrive at work at precisely 9 am.

The alarm clock disturbed my slumber, I once again washed myself and dressed myself in a fitting navy blue suit with a white shirt and my leather shoes.

I stepped into my car and drove away from my private property and towards the bustling city, high rise buildings towered at every corner no matter where you turned and sandwiched between them were small shops, which barely kept themselves afloat.

As I entered the coffee shop, my senses were immediately filled with the smell of coffee beans and yelling of orders across the store. My sight was greeted with a bright purple colored individual standing at the counter.

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

"Good morning, Ms. Sara." She greeted me with a smile.

"Oh! Mr. Hilderic, the usual again?"

"Yes please, I have noticed you finally got your hair dyed?"

"Yes, I did! You have a great eye for colors. Here the sandwich is on the house!"

"I won't decline your present then, thank you." I thanked the young barista and waited next to the counter for my order.

"An americano for Hilderic?" the barista yelled across the busy store.

"Thank you." I politely nodded.

I glanced onto the warm plastic cup, they had completely butchered my name, instead of Hilderic it was written as 'Heldrick'—I must admit, it was quite amusing to witness a different spelling each day, so I have not corrected them once.

I made my way into my car and drove towards the largest building of the city—Micsoft, a company which specialized in different programs for other companies to use, it had thousands of workers, beside Micsoft there were multiple companies which shared in the same building, but all were sister companies unbeknownst to many. Who knew that the richest brands were shared by mostly the same people?

I bypassed the glass door and halted at the front, where I scanned my identification badge near the entrance, where two guards stood at each security terminal. The building had a high security system, ever since some people tried to steal company secrets. After the security check, I entered the only empty elevator, until a scream halted my movement.

"Hold the elevator, please!" A female voice rang out.

"Oh my— Good morning, Mr. Chamber! Once again, as punctual as ever!" She smiled delightfully. "Good morning to you as well, Ms. Lee. " I smiled while I pressed the button to our floor.

"Oh please mr. Chamber, there is no need for formalities! After all, I'm younger than you, please call me Annabel."

"Then I must insist that you call me Hilderic as well." I chuckled slightly, Ms. Lee was a young fiery spirited individual who worked overtime regularly, it wore her off especially when no one validated her.

"Oh, but I can't! Hm, it seems like it will forever remain Ms. Annabel and Mr. Chamber then?" She cocked her head to the side in a childlike manner.

"It seems that way, Ms. Lee. "

"It sure does, Mr. Chamber." We shared a small laugh until we reached our floor, where we bid each other farewell and walked towards our respective team stations, she was in analysis, while I was in communication. Her desk was already filled with dozens of paperstacks and before she could even sit down, her manager walked up to her desk scolding her.

"Good morning, Mr. Chamber. It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" A colleague of mine asked, as he peeked from the barrier, which separated our workspace.

"It sure is a great morning." I answered with a polite nod. The time now was 8:58, an ugly number.

I lingered next to my seat as my colleague curiously glanced at the clock, I quickly sat down once the clock hit 9 am.

"Jeez, such a perfectionist haha." he remarked, but went back to his work, before he could elaborate.

The day went by only very slowly, there was no work left to do, but we were only allowed to leave at precisely 8 pm and once it hit 8 pm, it was time for me to leave, I no longer wished to remain a further second here. I packed my things before I was disturbed by an aggravating high voice.

"Mr. Chamber, leaving already? Always the punctual one, huh?" Her voice grated at my last nerve—actually her entire existence was a disturbance, she left trash around the office, wiped her crumbles off around furnitures and once confronted, she threw a tantrum where she resembled an overgrown toddler—worst of all, good hygiene or at least deodorant, was a foreign concept to her.

"Indeed, Ms. Brown. I wish you a nice evening." I turned away, before she could further converse with me. I didn't see why I should not leave on time, once the time hit 8, there was no further reason to stay there, if the manager wasn't in.

I peeked at Ms. Lee's desk in which she was buried with paperstacks, her small figure could barely be seen.

"Still working, Ms. Lee?" I questioned as I walked up towards her desk.

"Sadly yes, the manager demanded that I should finish this all today, but how can anyone finish this?" She wildly gestured around her surroundings until she let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Ms. Lee, you are an amazing individual and a hard working one as well, besides you're the best in your team, so I trust you're the only one who can do it."

"Really? Do you truly think so?" Her face brightened up tremendously.

"Of course, I do. Now, I need to hurry, so I wish you good luck with this." I gave her a thumbs up as I made myself towards the elevators.

I didn't really care nor did I truly believe it, but that's what you're supposed to say.

I learned when to smile, I learned when to cry, I learned when to maintain eye contact—even how long it should be. I learned how to hide between humans and because of it, I learned how to trick them as well. I was not born human, I learned to become human and unlike humans, I had no need for pride and no need for compassion.

I simply had an insatiable hunger called 'greed'.

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